Title: Predilection
Authoress: Hikaru R. Kudou
Ratings: PG
Chapter: 6/7
Genre: Shounen-ai / Mild yaoi,
General , Romance, Angst, Humour
Pairings: Sanzo/Goku, Gojyo/Hakkai,
one-sided Homura/Goku (as always)
Warnings: Minor OOC-ness, clichéd plot, the authoress' imperfect
English, grammatical errors, late update, etc
Summary: Conflicts, fears and confusions arise as Sanzo
and Goku struggle to explore and understand the
foreign feeling they have for each other.
DISCLAIMER: Standard disclaimers apply.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"You…what did you tell him?" Sanzo growled, barely looking at Homura.
"…that I love him and I can make him happy—something you're incapable of doing," answered he calmly. "He tastes— fantastic. More heavenly than heaven itself." He looked at Sanzo sneeringly, implying that the latter would never get a chance to enjoy what he had.
Eyes endeavouring to bore holes into Homura's skull, whilst Sanzo's right fist punched into the wall, leaving a deep impression. "You poisoned his mind!" Sanzo ran out of the door, regardless of the rain, and disappeared from view.
"Sorry Konzen, but this time, fate won't really be lenient to you." Homura snickered to himself. "At least, I won't." With that, he vanished into thin air, and off to celebrate his victory.
-+-+-+-
Shihou Narusu was tired of it all. He could not comprehend it—Zenon and Shien had practically shoved countless maps into his mouth just to get the younger god memorize a good number of places and their respective locations, but still, everything was in vain. He mentally kicked himself.
Deep down in his heart, he felt sorry for them. But what was he to do? He was born with a poor memory and no sense of direction. Which explained why he was stuck with this job.
"Remember, this is your first task," He recalled Homura's instructions to him. "Find a Genjo Sanzo, and use your powers upon him."
"My powers?" he had replied blankly.
"Yes, powers," Homura, tapping his foot impatiently, stressed on the word. "Get him to lose his way, that's all."
"But how do I use these powers of mine?"
"Idiot. You're asking me? How the heck did you get us lost in the first place?"
"Uh…"
Homura threw his hands upwards as a sign of irritation. "Just make sure he gets lost, that's all."
"Make sure he gets lost…" Shihou glanced again at the picture of Genjo Sanzo which was given to him by his mentor. "Hm…shouldn't be hard to find him though…don't think there're many blonds in this area…" He inspected his surroundings, and only saw black men. "Um, excuse me…" He asked a passerby. "But where am I?"
The guy looked at him, thinking he was a madman escaped from an asylum. "Africa."
"Africa?" Shihou replied. "How far is this place from—wherever the Sanzo-ikkou are?"
The guy just stared.
-+-+-+-
Goku had no idea where he was heading. There were trees, and nothing else. The thick leaves formed a canopy which hindered the passage of light into the forest, and the dark sky was torn by fierce lightings every two seconds. It was raining cats and dogs, the muddy ground slippery that Goku fell flat on his face.
Goku sat up, cleared the mud away from his face, and became aware of the wetness of his cheeks And it was not because of the rain. 'I'm crying…because…I don't know why…'
He regretted his rash decision of running away from Sanzo, but there was nothing he could do. He hated to see Sanzo getting mad at him, and Sanzo was furious back then. He thought that it was plausible for Sanzo to just shoot him mercilessly without hesitation as to the number of bullets Sanzo would be using. But that was not the point.
The point was, Sanzo wanted him to leave. With Homura. Accusing him that he, Son Goku, was in love with the fighting god.
Goku's countenance twitched, trying very hard not to cry. 'But I don't know what exactly is love all about…'
His shaking and scratched hand touched his dry lips subsequently, without him knowing. The spot where Homura had kissed him.
'It was…nice…' Goku bit his lips, trying to ascertain what he had just thought. 'But it felt—wrong. I—I was thinking of Sanzo when Homura kissed me…Maybe, part of me wanted it to be Sanzo…part of me wanted to be kissed by Sanzo, not Homura…'
Homura was, nonetheless, right. Came to think of it, Sanzo did treat Goku like a pet, hitting him everyday with that fan, berating him and—calling him a monkey.
'But I didn't mind…' Goku was surprised at this sudden frankness within him. 'Face it, Goku, you like him to treat you that way…It's when you know you're the object of his attention, when you get his utmost concentration…It's when you felt you were most alive.' Goku wiped his blurry eyes away, and he came face to face with a figure, standing just a metre away from him.
Who looked exactly like him—a younger version of him.
-+-+-+-
"I loathe rain," muttered Sanzo to nobody in particular. "Give me the strongest demon on Earth any day, but not rain."
He had every reason to hate rain. First of all, it reminded him of his master's demise—when the wheel of his destiny turned. It was a horrible thought, even for him. If he couldn't find Goku, that would just give him another reason to despise rain.
"I swear, if I can't find that idiot of a monkey—I'll personally go up there and murder the God of Weather…" vowed the monk, clenching his fist and tightening his jaw.
He hated himself. He was so habituated to saying precisely what was on him mind, his listener's feelings the least of his concern. He assumed that everyone was fine with it—the fact that they could tolerate his company and his acidic words was proof to that. They—Hakkai, Gojyo, and…
…Goku.
Damn it. He should never have taken Goku for granted. So he was wrong to think Goku as a brainless child, whose mission in life was to fill his bottomless stomach. Goku was still a being, with feelings.
'Stupid Homura…curse that *^&%$#@...he started all this…he made Goku run away…'
He caught himself. No, Homura was not the only one to blame. There was another *^&%$#@ who should be hanged for this crime.
Sanzo, with blood trickling in between his fingers, punched another tree in frustration. He faintly remembered citing the word "love" during the row, and the impression it had left on Goku's expression.
"If this is what they call love…I don't want it…' Goku had said before he ran off.
Gritting his teeth, Sanzo punched the tree down, venting his resentment. His heart was beating faster, his breathing louder. He was almost gasping for air, and he wiped his wet bangs away. They were bothering his view when they clung to his forehead like that.
'What I would give to get him back…'
[Flashback]
"I can take care of this mission on my own," said Sanzo stubbornly.
The Goddess of Mercy chuckled in amusement. "Why are you so sure?"
"What's it to you?"
She brought her face closer to Sanzo, and just before the monk pulled his revolver out, she whispered mysteriously to him. "Every being needs a partner—and this applies to both humans and gods alike."
"You—"
"And I happen to know more than you do." Kanzeon Bosatsu winked suggestively at him. "Try to deny it if you will, but things don't always go your way. Trust me."
A snort. "I don't trust anyone."
"Indeed so." She waved a careless hand. "Very well, if that's your mantra in life. Even so, you have to trust yourself." She laughed, and she disappeared before Sanzo could lengthen the debate.
[End of Flashback]
All of sudden he felt his legs gave away, and his energy marooned him. He fell on to his knees, and he cursed his weakness.
"I hate myself…" He was, although he tried to hide it, weak. His emotions were weak, and he was a coward. Yes, that was what he felt at that time. A coward, a selfish being who did not deserve Goku.
[Flashback]
"A sun!" exclaimed Goku excitedly. "That's what I see Sanzo as!"
Hakkai, who had asked him that question, smiled knowingly as the monk beside him grunted in humiliation. "Really, Goku? Why a sun?"
"Because he shines! He gives light to me!" Goku laughed, grinning.
Unable to take further embarrassment, Sanzo whacked the shorter lad. "Don't talk about it anymore!!"
"But, Sanzo, it's true!"
"Sanzo, Sanzo…" Hakkai, eyes still on the road, said. "You should take that as a compliment."
A brusque "Why?"
"He looks up to you, Sanzo, and he hopes to stay by your side…Nothing, you remember, escapes from the light of the sun…even if they try to."
[End of Flashback]
"If I find Goku, I'll make sure he never leaves me again…" said he, standing up. "Whether he likes it or not." Hearing a brushing noise behind him, he turned. And in the darkness he saw a pair of golden eyes, looking back at him.
-+-+-+-
"You mean Sanzo went out? In the rain?" demanded Gojyo.
Hakkai sat on the bed, and looked out of the window. The storm was getting vicious by the moment, and black clouds unfurled as the strong wind rattled the window pane. "That's what I found out from a witness downstairs. He said he saw a blond monk running out and chasing after a boy."
"Goku," murmured Gojyo. "Why would that airhead run into the rain?"
"I don't know, but we have to find them. Who knows what could go wrong in this kind of weather." Hakkai stood up, determination on his face. "Let's go."
-+-+-+-
"You—you're me?" asked Goku, taking a step backward. "But, how—and why—?" His verbosity had escaped him.
The younger version of Goku smiled a smile akin to the older one, but he did not supply him with any answer.
Mustering his courage, Goku walked up to him. Noticing that he was vague, Goku attempted to poke a finger at him—only his finger went through him, like poking into air.
"Whaa?" He was starting to get scared, and he retrieved his finger, clutching it close to his chest. "You—are you a ghost?"
"Ne!" said the ghost—if it was. "You shouldn't run off like that. Konzen wouldn't like it if I run off, so you shouldn't too."
"Konzen? But…"
"He gets angry with me if I do."
"He—sounds awfully like Sanzo."
"Sanzo?" The chibi Goku blinked quizzically. "Eh?"
Goku smiled weakly in response. "You should go back, right? Your Konzen might get angry if he finds that you're gone."
"Erm!" A grin—a familiar grin. Goku presumed that he liked the term 'your Konzen' Goku had used. "But I like him that way!"
"Y—you do?"
Chibi Goku nodded eagerly. "I know he loves me! Ne, does your Sanzo love you?"
"Sanzo? Does he love me?" What should he say? "I don't think so…"
"Ah! Doushite, doushite, doushite??"
Goku knew nobody would believe him if he said that he saw—and talked—to himself. Gojyo, for one, would tell Sanzo to send him straight to a mental institution. If Sanzo could find him before anything else.
"Ne? Answer!"
Goku gulped. "We're just—not—I don't know…" He said finally, embarrassed.
"Oh, okay!"
Goku stared. "Okay?"
"Uhm! I don't know why I love Konzen too!" Chibi Goku chuckled, his cheeks blushing slightly.
"I don't understand you…"
"And I you." Chibi Goku smirked. "All I want is to be happy with Konzen, that's all."
"How did you know that you love this—Konzen?" 'Funny, didn't Homura call Sanzo Konzen as well…?'
Chibi Goku pondered for a moment, then he shrugged. "I just know."
"Eh?" 'I was hoping for a more detailed answer…' Goku sweat dropped.
"Why did you ask?"
"Because I wanted to know—why you love him."
"Do we need a reason for everything?"
Goku was astonished. The clap of thunder made him clasped his hand over his ears. The sound gone, he opened one eyelid, and found his companion to be looking at another direction.
"I have to go. Konzen wants me to go back," he told Goku.
"I didn't hear him calling you…" Goku pointed out. 'Maybe it was the thunder…wow, this Konzen guy must be one scary fellow…'
"He doesn't have to." Chibi Goku pointed to his heart. "I know I have to go and stay next to him." With a grin, his finger pointed on Goku's heart. "And I have a feeling Sanzo wants you to go back too."
Goku was hopeful. "How did you know? He hates me, and he wants me to go."
"Really? But do you want to go?"
"I—" Goku felt something was stuck in his throat when he was about to answer in positive, rendering him answer in negative. "No. I don't want to leave Sanzo."
Chibi Goku nodded heartily. "Great! I need to go now! Nice meeting you!" He waved, and just as he began to sprint, "Ne, you!"
"Ah?"
"Maybe I'll meet your Sanzo one day? I'll introduce you to my Konzen!"
Goku's face softened. "I'd like that."
Chibi Goku laughed cheerfully. "It's a promise then! Ja!"
Goku waved until the other disappeared into the thickets. "Wait, I forgot to ask for his name…"
-+-+-+
"Goku?" asked Sanzo, nearing the eyes. "Is that you?"
The bearer of the eyes moved forward, and in the bad lighting Sanzo saw that it was not Goku. Sanzo swallowed an oath, and began to walk away.
"Matte!" said the auburn-haired fellow and stopped Sanzo in his tracks. "Are you Genjo Sanzo?"
'What's with this guy?' "Who's talking?"
"I'm just a god. God of Misdirection."
Sanzo sweat dropped. "God of—what?"
"Misdirection." Shihou smiled. "Call me Shihou."
'Even his name means lost…coincidence? Ch' whatever.' "Excuse me."
"Why are you so eager to leave?" asked Shihou, grabbing Sanzo's arm. "I'm not done with you yet."
"I have better things to attend to," said Sanzo curtly, prying Shihou's fingers away. "Now get lost."
When Shihou let him go at last, he walked away from him, mumbling about the eccentricity of the gods in Tenkai. Unbeknownst to him, Shihou had held his hand at Sanzo's back and muttered a chant.
-+-+-+-
"He said I should go and look for Sanzo…" said Goku, looking around him as he tried to find his way back. "But I think I'm lost…"
Goku had made up his mind. Even if Sanzo grills him upon his return, Goku would never leave him. Goku would beg for Sanzo's forgiveness, and let Sanzo deal with him, punishing him until his anger is gone for good. It had only been one hour, and Goku had got himself lost. No wonder Sanzo complained that he was a useless monkey every hour.
'But maybe Sanzo already left the inn. Nah, can't be. Not in this terrible climate. He must be in his room.'
Finding a small stream, he paused before continuing. He took the opportunity to clean his mud-spattered face and cleanse his lips. He did not want any trace of Homura to linger on him anymore. The guilt he felt was unbearable, and trying to get rid of the feeling, he rinsed his face several times.
"And now, I look for the way back to the inn. I hope Sanzo's happy to see me again—if he's not I'll just let him punish me as he wishes." Goku, with a new sense of boldness in him, looked to his left, right and front. "But which way do I go?"
-+-+-+-
Sanzo stared at the tree lying on the ground. He was the one who punched it down, he remembered that perfectly. There was the impression of his fist on the bark of that tree. That meant that he was back at where he started.
"What the &^%$???" he bellowed angrily at nobody in particular. 'That God of Misdirection must be behind this. He must've sabotaged my sense of direction. Curse him.'
Sanzo scrutinized the ground, checking for his footprints. 'Why is my vision getting blurry…?' He blinked once, twice, and then rubbed his eyes. The thick mist was still there, thwarting his eyesight. 'Must be the fog from the rain…Stupid rain…'
He reflected to himself, thinking which direction he should take next. After making a few calculations in his grey-cells, he decided to go west.
Only, he did use that route before, which consequently made him end up at the same place again.
"ARGH!!!! *&^% that God of Misdirection!!!!" cried Sanzo crossly, shooting randomly. "And while I'm at it, *&^% that Homura as well!!!!"
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"Isn't that Sanzo's voice?" asked Gojyo when he heard the oaths.
"You're right. That's him all right." Hakkai, who was holding an umbrella to shield both he and Gojyo, tried to listen despite the gushing of the wind. "I can't hear him anymore. The wind's too loud."
"Who's there?" Gojyo became aware that they were not the only ones braving the vile weather conditions. He was surprised when someone fell out of the bushes. "Who're you? Wait, Homura?? What are you doing hiding in there?"
The war god stood up indignantly. "I wasn't hiding! I got lost!" 'His misdirection effect on people sure last long…'
"Huh?" said Gojyo. "Why are you here?"
"I'm looking for someone. Wait, two people, in fact." Homura silently cursed the rain.
"My take is one of them is Goku," cited Hakkai. "Who's the second person?"
"Nobody you know. If you'd excuse me, I have to get going by now." Homura bowed, not out of respect, and left the duo, and muttered something about young gods obeying curfews.
-+-+-+-
"Damn! Damn! Damn!" Sanzo kicked the same tree heatedly. "What the heck is wrong with me? This is the twentieth time! Argh! I'll kill that ****ing God of Misdirection once I set my eyes on him!"
The God of Misdirection was, in point of fact, the least of his problems. Maybe that was a little too farfetched, but he was certainly not Sanzo's main problem. Goku's wellbeing still was the top in Genjo Sanzo's list of worries. His own wellbeing was second compared to Goku's.
"How the hell am I going to find him if I keep on running around in circles?" demanded Sanzo to the fallen tree, stepping on it. "I tried going north, east, west, south—yet I still end up being here! Here, of all places!" Sanzo stomped on it.
-+-+-+-
"Left, right, left…" Goku stopped. The oak tree looked familiar to him, and he realized that he just passed it twenty minutes ago. "Ah, where am I? How am I going to find Sanzo if I'm lost?"
-+-+-+-
That boiled his blood. Thirtieth time in a row. Just as he thought he finally made it out of the Circle of Doom, as he called it, the truth fell on him like an anvil, making him realize that he did not. And for the thirtieth time, he cursed Shihou, worse than previously.
Sanzo sat down, now totally worn out. The weather had not improved in the least, and his eyesight was getting cloudier. "I can't continue searching for him…"
He placed a hand on his forehead, and became aware of the temperature. "Fever…" he lamented. "Stupid fever. Bad timing to be sick, Sanzo. Bad timing."
After he muttered another curse, he passed out.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
A/N: *stares at fic dumbly, then faints*