Disclaimer: I only borrowed them - I promise to give them back.
Authors notes: This is my first venture into the land of ff.net, though I
do have other fics posted around. So please be nice ( I'd like to thank
Courtney for beta-ing this chapter, Lily for helping me generate new ideas
and Nette for forcing me to post. I hope you enjoy.
Part 1
"Shoot!" She screamed in pain, hopping on her left foot she clutched at her right. The stack of charts had landed on her toes with a huge force.
"Abby, you okay?" Jerry called over to her.
"Yep, fine, just give me a minute." She took a few deep cleansing breaths and immediately felt much better. "So what time's the new attending getting here?"
"He should be starting now. He's in talking to Weaver at the minute."
"Oh great, well, this guy won't even make it to his first shift!" It was a standing joke that the new attendings' couldn't hack the fast pace of the ER and the longest out of the previous eight hired, barely lasted a week.
"Why? He hasn't met you yet!" Colette teased her.
Abby rolled her eyes good-naturedly.
"Hey, you know what I heard?" Abby asked the resident.
"No, what?" She asked eagerly.
"He's a 44 year old virgin, who gets his kicks sleazing up to residents and his hobbies include train-spotting!"
"Really?"
"No." Grinning she walked away from her friend.
Colette met up with Abby in Curtain Area 3 minutes later just as she was finishing medicating an alcoholic-induced comatose. "Oh my God," she laughed as she closed the curtains behind her.
"What?" Abby asked in eagerly.
"He's about average height, brown hair, gorgeous eyes, bit of a weird nose. and he's got Weaver eating out his hands."
"So you met him?"
Abby couldn't understand her friend sometimes - well, most of the time. She had this spirit that whisked you away with her and a forgetfulness that only arose in real life - as a doctor her patient care was spotless.
Colette had entered Abby's life at a point when she was feeling particularly vulnerable, having lost everything she had cared about. She had found the Intern in tears on the roof and her heart just went out to her. When she looked into at Colette, she recognised the same fear, pain and anguish she herself saw every time she looked in the mirror.
After that point of confidante their friendship, which others couldn't understand, had blossomed. The rest of the staff didn't see that underneath their respective masks they were so similar.
"Well, I . err . I wanted to tell you first."
"Col, I've told you this before. Get the gossip first, and then come and tell me." She had to grin at Colette's absentmindedness.
"Well he seemed nice, he's in his mid-thirties. Bit young for your tastes though!"
"Hey!" Was she insulted? Thinking back over her last few years out in the dating world, she had gone for the older man. Not that she'd been on many dates, but she felt more secure with them and then she would be the one to end it. When Carter had gone something inside her had snapped and she never wanted to feel the sickening sensation of being abandoned by someone she cared about. Then of course there were those disastrous blind dates Col had set her up on.
"Sorry." Colette laughed at Abby's injured features. "So you want to come out and meet him?" Colette asked once she'd gotten Abby's attention back.
"Sure." Finishing with the IV, she checked her patient's vitals before following the tiny blonde out towards the admin desk.
"Hey where's the attending gone? I wanted to meet him." Col whined.
"Calm down Colette, he'll be back in a minute. Weaver, wanted to show him some new procedure she's implemented." Frank told her.
"God not another one. You'd think that woman would have better things to with her time." Abby groaned, not realising that 'that woman' had walked up behind her.
"Abby, do you have an issue you want to raise?" The stern voice came from behind her.
"No Doctor Weaver, I was just sa." As she turned round she came face-to- face with the new attending and momentarily was at a loss for words. "Everything's fine Doctor Weaver." She finally managed to finish.
"Hmmm." The doctor wasn't convinced, but Abby couldn't have cared less. Glancing round she scanned for her nearest exit.
Continuing, Doctor Weaver placed her hand on the arm of the man stood beside her. "Colette I'm glad you're here. This is Doctor Carter, our new - and permanent - Attending." She emphasised the last word and looked directly at Abby, who in turn gave the woman a confident 'I-don't-care-what- you-throw-at-me' look in return. Kerry chose to momentarily ignore it. "John, this is Colette Ashby and I am sure you remember Abby."
Remembering her manners she managed to smile up at John, but was dismissed as she watched him take Colette's outstretched hand. Fighting an internal battle she barely heard their light conversation, the uneasy banter and jokes of two newly acquainted colleagues, as she was forced to remember how it used to be between them; leaving her feeling vulnerable and awkward - two emotions she could really do without.
Snapping out of her daze she excused herself.
* Three years and she still had the ability to take his heart into the palm of her hand and squeeze the life out of him. She'd looked shocked, almost angered by the sight of him. Not that he'd expected anything more. He had walked out of the ER a broken man, but now planned to return stronger and show her what she had missed out on.
*
Abby made her way out of the front entrance of the hospital and simply started walking. Thoughts of the remaining two hours left in her shift or of the patients she had cast aside weren't on her mind. All she could see and hear was John, her mind playing a cruel joke on her. Replaying all the great times they had had together and then in full colour, the final blazing row that had ended any chance of reconciliation and any chance of their future happiness. But he'd looked happy today, she thought, so maybe he had moved on and she was still living in the past. Well, then she'd show him.
* She arrived back at the hospital just as a heavy trauma pulled in. Grabbing the side of the gurney, she accompanied Colette inside and ignored the questioning looks being thrown her way.
It then took all her focus to concentrate on the patient once Carter had entered and went to work.
"That's it." Carter let out a frustrated growl. She knew how much she hated losing a patient especially when the life was so young. This kid, barely sixteen, had been in the front seat of a two-car collision. The other passengers had come out relatively unscarred, which meant one of them had to go break the news. "Time of death 13:23."
She watched him slam down his gloves and move towards the door.
"Doctor Carter, wait. I'll go." Colette offered.
"Thanks." His smile was genuine. "And please, just call me Carter. Everyone does."
"Will do . Carter." She raised her eyebrows flirtatiously as she repeated his name.
As she prepared the death kit, Abby didn't notice the room empty of everyone but Carter; however, as the hairs on the back of her neck rose, she was acutely aware of the awkwardness they each generated.
Nervously she began cleaning up the area and then grabbed the now-prepared death kit only aware of his gaze following her every action.
"Weaver was looking for you earlier." His words broke the deafening silence.
"I just bet she was," she muttered under her breath. Then she spoke more clearly. "Well she couldn't have looked far, I had my pager with me." She grabbed it out to show him and was annoyed to find four missed responses. "Oh. I guess it wasn't working properly."
Watching him smirk in response, she turned away and prepared the body for viewing by the family. It was moments like this that everything momentarily came back into perspective.
"So Doctor Carter." The moment had passed. "How have you been?"
"Abby, I think we've known each other long enough to skip the formalities."
"'Known' may not be the right word to use." Just as she was about to say more, the parents of the child came in with Colette.
"It's okay, don't be afraid to touch him." Abby told the grief stricken couple, who had paused beside their child. Excusing herself for the second time from Carter she walked straight into the path of Kerry Weaver and by the look on her face Abby was in a hell of a lot of trouble.
"Abby, may I have a word with you at the end of your shift. Which by my watch is in two hours and twelve minutes including the time while you were AWOL."
"Of course Doctor Weaver." She smiled at her boss as she walked away, any other movement may have ended with Kerry's entrails being hung out across the admin area. She still couldn't believe Kerry had hired John without warning her. Everybody knew about their relationship and how it had ended. or at least the highlighted version.
She couldn't believe that Kerry wouldn't expect her to not be shocked and she couldn't believe that she was still musing over that conversation twenty minutes later. Getting her act into gear, she changed 5 patients IV's, admitted and ensured 8 patients were discharged by the relevant doctors and ultimately avoided seeing John Carter.
"Doctor Weaver?" She approached the formidable doctor with a definite sense of impending doom.
"Abby. Yes. It's about next week's scheduling. You were down to." The words just washed over her - she had expected a full-blown one-sided row, while she bit her tongue in an attempt to not get fired, so this was completely out of nowhere.
"I'll sort it out." Abby said finally and turned to leave.
"Oh and Abby." She watched as her employer struggled with her next turn of phrase. "I hope you and John can get over your differences."
Abby stood, shell-shocked, as Kerry limped away.
"So how pissed was she?" Colette asked as she approached the Abby who was feeling too dumbstruck to move. "You know if you'd told me you were bunking off I would have covered for you."
"Thanks. But she barely mentioned it. Just harped on about scheduling." Looking past Colette she could see Carter watching her and promptly moved out of his line of vision. "So I'll see you tomorrow."
"Wait, Abby!" Colette called after her, causing Abby to swing round surprised.
"What's up?"
"A few of us are going out for a drink tonight. How do you fancy it?"
It sounded a good idea and she could really do with a drink to unwind after a day like today. "That sounds like a great idea."
"Right. We're meeting at 8 in the City Vaults. See you later."
* She was early, but that didn't faze her she was used to drinking on her own. Talking to the barman for a few minutes she noticed an empty table in the corner and crossed over to it.
She had a perfect view of the doorway and right on time, Col walked through the door, followed by Chess, Halle, Joanne, Matt, Susan and. Carter. Carter was here. Her heart jumped up into her throat, she should have known what this night out was about. They didn't seem to have spotted her yet, and she hoped she could possible slip out unnoticed.
Too late.
"Abby, you're here!" Col screamed across the room. Abby watched her urge the others over to the table while she and Matt, the latest in her string of rich, gorgeous boyfriends, brought over the drinks.
Chess sat next to her while Carter managed to manoeuvre into a seat furthest from her. Chess was the biggest flirt in the ER and had even managed to twist Weaver round his little finger. He thought he was gorgeous, the most annoying part of which being that he was right. Regardless, his cheeky grin and amusing whit made you love him anyway.
"Wow Abby. You look great tonight." He smiled at her, before noticing her glass of lemonade. "Not drinking again?"
"Hey somebody has to keep you guys in line." A small smile crept upon her lips, three years of sobriety and counting.
"You see this Carter?" Chess yelled over to him and placed his hand on top of Abby's. "This girl is like a tea-total super girl, your mum and the sexy Lois Lane all bundled up into one. Yet she still hasn't the sense to go out with me."
Abby looked first at Chess in amusement and then over at Carter to gage his reaction. It was hard to read as he wasn't looking directly at her, but she got the feeling that he was happy with this revelation.
*
"Okay drinking games time!" Col declared as she racked up a round of tequila shots. They had been there over an hour and everybody was getting into the spirit of things. "And look who I found." She pulled Jing Mei from behind and smiled proudly as if she had been the one to discover Jing Mei's existence.
Col placed a shot glass in front of each of them and then got a mischievous look in her eye. "Now are you sure you don't want to join in?" She asked Carter.
Abby and Carter were the only ones sober that night and it amused Abby to see their antics and know that she was no longer influenced by that particular habit.
On the other hand her addiction for cigarettes hadn't gone away and lighting up her third of the evening she inhaled deeply before exhaling out the smoke along with the tension inside her.
Looking up she noticed Carter was gazing at her, so she smiled and then offered her packet to him. To her surprise he actually took one.
*
Carter had to smile at her bemused look. He hardly ever smoked, but he wanted to see her reaction when he accepted a cigarette. Tonight had gone better than he had thought. Susan was getting merrier by the minute and had let slip a number of secret and not-so-secret pieces of gossip, including the snippet he was holding close to his heart: that Abby hadn't been officially dating anyone, not now and not since he'd been gone.
"Okay, salt, lick, go!" Colette called out as they all downed their first shot.
"See Carter, it isn't all that bad. You sure you won't have one."
"No thanks." He grinned back at her.
"Whoops!" Colette cried out as she fell into Carter's arms. Everyone else laughed, but the sudden intimacy created caused something to sting at the back of Abby's eyes.
Excusing herself while the other's fussed over Col she made it outside before she took a second breath.
Looking round she tried in vain to get a cab, but none stopped, which meant she had two options left - go back inside or walk to catch the El. She knew which she preferred and strode purposely towards the station.
"Abby!" A voice called out to her, causing her to stop and turn.
"What's up?" She asked as the figure joined her.
"I didn't want you walking home alone."
"Chess I can manage really." She nodded back in the direction of the bar. "Go back and enjoy yourself."
"Only if you're sure."
"Yes. Goodnight." She called over her shoulder. Not seeing Carter stood at the door watching them.
Part 1
"Shoot!" She screamed in pain, hopping on her left foot she clutched at her right. The stack of charts had landed on her toes with a huge force.
"Abby, you okay?" Jerry called over to her.
"Yep, fine, just give me a minute." She took a few deep cleansing breaths and immediately felt much better. "So what time's the new attending getting here?"
"He should be starting now. He's in talking to Weaver at the minute."
"Oh great, well, this guy won't even make it to his first shift!" It was a standing joke that the new attendings' couldn't hack the fast pace of the ER and the longest out of the previous eight hired, barely lasted a week.
"Why? He hasn't met you yet!" Colette teased her.
Abby rolled her eyes good-naturedly.
"Hey, you know what I heard?" Abby asked the resident.
"No, what?" She asked eagerly.
"He's a 44 year old virgin, who gets his kicks sleazing up to residents and his hobbies include train-spotting!"
"Really?"
"No." Grinning she walked away from her friend.
Colette met up with Abby in Curtain Area 3 minutes later just as she was finishing medicating an alcoholic-induced comatose. "Oh my God," she laughed as she closed the curtains behind her.
"What?" Abby asked in eagerly.
"He's about average height, brown hair, gorgeous eyes, bit of a weird nose. and he's got Weaver eating out his hands."
"So you met him?"
Abby couldn't understand her friend sometimes - well, most of the time. She had this spirit that whisked you away with her and a forgetfulness that only arose in real life - as a doctor her patient care was spotless.
Colette had entered Abby's life at a point when she was feeling particularly vulnerable, having lost everything she had cared about. She had found the Intern in tears on the roof and her heart just went out to her. When she looked into at Colette, she recognised the same fear, pain and anguish she herself saw every time she looked in the mirror.
After that point of confidante their friendship, which others couldn't understand, had blossomed. The rest of the staff didn't see that underneath their respective masks they were so similar.
"Well, I . err . I wanted to tell you first."
"Col, I've told you this before. Get the gossip first, and then come and tell me." She had to grin at Colette's absentmindedness.
"Well he seemed nice, he's in his mid-thirties. Bit young for your tastes though!"
"Hey!" Was she insulted? Thinking back over her last few years out in the dating world, she had gone for the older man. Not that she'd been on many dates, but she felt more secure with them and then she would be the one to end it. When Carter had gone something inside her had snapped and she never wanted to feel the sickening sensation of being abandoned by someone she cared about. Then of course there were those disastrous blind dates Col had set her up on.
"Sorry." Colette laughed at Abby's injured features. "So you want to come out and meet him?" Colette asked once she'd gotten Abby's attention back.
"Sure." Finishing with the IV, she checked her patient's vitals before following the tiny blonde out towards the admin desk.
"Hey where's the attending gone? I wanted to meet him." Col whined.
"Calm down Colette, he'll be back in a minute. Weaver, wanted to show him some new procedure she's implemented." Frank told her.
"God not another one. You'd think that woman would have better things to with her time." Abby groaned, not realising that 'that woman' had walked up behind her.
"Abby, do you have an issue you want to raise?" The stern voice came from behind her.
"No Doctor Weaver, I was just sa." As she turned round she came face-to- face with the new attending and momentarily was at a loss for words. "Everything's fine Doctor Weaver." She finally managed to finish.
"Hmmm." The doctor wasn't convinced, but Abby couldn't have cared less. Glancing round she scanned for her nearest exit.
Continuing, Doctor Weaver placed her hand on the arm of the man stood beside her. "Colette I'm glad you're here. This is Doctor Carter, our new - and permanent - Attending." She emphasised the last word and looked directly at Abby, who in turn gave the woman a confident 'I-don't-care-what- you-throw-at-me' look in return. Kerry chose to momentarily ignore it. "John, this is Colette Ashby and I am sure you remember Abby."
Remembering her manners she managed to smile up at John, but was dismissed as she watched him take Colette's outstretched hand. Fighting an internal battle she barely heard their light conversation, the uneasy banter and jokes of two newly acquainted colleagues, as she was forced to remember how it used to be between them; leaving her feeling vulnerable and awkward - two emotions she could really do without.
Snapping out of her daze she excused herself.
* Three years and she still had the ability to take his heart into the palm of her hand and squeeze the life out of him. She'd looked shocked, almost angered by the sight of him. Not that he'd expected anything more. He had walked out of the ER a broken man, but now planned to return stronger and show her what she had missed out on.
*
Abby made her way out of the front entrance of the hospital and simply started walking. Thoughts of the remaining two hours left in her shift or of the patients she had cast aside weren't on her mind. All she could see and hear was John, her mind playing a cruel joke on her. Replaying all the great times they had had together and then in full colour, the final blazing row that had ended any chance of reconciliation and any chance of their future happiness. But he'd looked happy today, she thought, so maybe he had moved on and she was still living in the past. Well, then she'd show him.
* She arrived back at the hospital just as a heavy trauma pulled in. Grabbing the side of the gurney, she accompanied Colette inside and ignored the questioning looks being thrown her way.
It then took all her focus to concentrate on the patient once Carter had entered and went to work.
"That's it." Carter let out a frustrated growl. She knew how much she hated losing a patient especially when the life was so young. This kid, barely sixteen, had been in the front seat of a two-car collision. The other passengers had come out relatively unscarred, which meant one of them had to go break the news. "Time of death 13:23."
She watched him slam down his gloves and move towards the door.
"Doctor Carter, wait. I'll go." Colette offered.
"Thanks." His smile was genuine. "And please, just call me Carter. Everyone does."
"Will do . Carter." She raised her eyebrows flirtatiously as she repeated his name.
As she prepared the death kit, Abby didn't notice the room empty of everyone but Carter; however, as the hairs on the back of her neck rose, she was acutely aware of the awkwardness they each generated.
Nervously she began cleaning up the area and then grabbed the now-prepared death kit only aware of his gaze following her every action.
"Weaver was looking for you earlier." His words broke the deafening silence.
"I just bet she was," she muttered under her breath. Then she spoke more clearly. "Well she couldn't have looked far, I had my pager with me." She grabbed it out to show him and was annoyed to find four missed responses. "Oh. I guess it wasn't working properly."
Watching him smirk in response, she turned away and prepared the body for viewing by the family. It was moments like this that everything momentarily came back into perspective.
"So Doctor Carter." The moment had passed. "How have you been?"
"Abby, I think we've known each other long enough to skip the formalities."
"'Known' may not be the right word to use." Just as she was about to say more, the parents of the child came in with Colette.
"It's okay, don't be afraid to touch him." Abby told the grief stricken couple, who had paused beside their child. Excusing herself for the second time from Carter she walked straight into the path of Kerry Weaver and by the look on her face Abby was in a hell of a lot of trouble.
"Abby, may I have a word with you at the end of your shift. Which by my watch is in two hours and twelve minutes including the time while you were AWOL."
"Of course Doctor Weaver." She smiled at her boss as she walked away, any other movement may have ended with Kerry's entrails being hung out across the admin area. She still couldn't believe Kerry had hired John without warning her. Everybody knew about their relationship and how it had ended. or at least the highlighted version.
She couldn't believe that Kerry wouldn't expect her to not be shocked and she couldn't believe that she was still musing over that conversation twenty minutes later. Getting her act into gear, she changed 5 patients IV's, admitted and ensured 8 patients were discharged by the relevant doctors and ultimately avoided seeing John Carter.
"Doctor Weaver?" She approached the formidable doctor with a definite sense of impending doom.
"Abby. Yes. It's about next week's scheduling. You were down to." The words just washed over her - she had expected a full-blown one-sided row, while she bit her tongue in an attempt to not get fired, so this was completely out of nowhere.
"I'll sort it out." Abby said finally and turned to leave.
"Oh and Abby." She watched as her employer struggled with her next turn of phrase. "I hope you and John can get over your differences."
Abby stood, shell-shocked, as Kerry limped away.
"So how pissed was she?" Colette asked as she approached the Abby who was feeling too dumbstruck to move. "You know if you'd told me you were bunking off I would have covered for you."
"Thanks. But she barely mentioned it. Just harped on about scheduling." Looking past Colette she could see Carter watching her and promptly moved out of his line of vision. "So I'll see you tomorrow."
"Wait, Abby!" Colette called after her, causing Abby to swing round surprised.
"What's up?"
"A few of us are going out for a drink tonight. How do you fancy it?"
It sounded a good idea and she could really do with a drink to unwind after a day like today. "That sounds like a great idea."
"Right. We're meeting at 8 in the City Vaults. See you later."
* She was early, but that didn't faze her she was used to drinking on her own. Talking to the barman for a few minutes she noticed an empty table in the corner and crossed over to it.
She had a perfect view of the doorway and right on time, Col walked through the door, followed by Chess, Halle, Joanne, Matt, Susan and. Carter. Carter was here. Her heart jumped up into her throat, she should have known what this night out was about. They didn't seem to have spotted her yet, and she hoped she could possible slip out unnoticed.
Too late.
"Abby, you're here!" Col screamed across the room. Abby watched her urge the others over to the table while she and Matt, the latest in her string of rich, gorgeous boyfriends, brought over the drinks.
Chess sat next to her while Carter managed to manoeuvre into a seat furthest from her. Chess was the biggest flirt in the ER and had even managed to twist Weaver round his little finger. He thought he was gorgeous, the most annoying part of which being that he was right. Regardless, his cheeky grin and amusing whit made you love him anyway.
"Wow Abby. You look great tonight." He smiled at her, before noticing her glass of lemonade. "Not drinking again?"
"Hey somebody has to keep you guys in line." A small smile crept upon her lips, three years of sobriety and counting.
"You see this Carter?" Chess yelled over to him and placed his hand on top of Abby's. "This girl is like a tea-total super girl, your mum and the sexy Lois Lane all bundled up into one. Yet she still hasn't the sense to go out with me."
Abby looked first at Chess in amusement and then over at Carter to gage his reaction. It was hard to read as he wasn't looking directly at her, but she got the feeling that he was happy with this revelation.
*
"Okay drinking games time!" Col declared as she racked up a round of tequila shots. They had been there over an hour and everybody was getting into the spirit of things. "And look who I found." She pulled Jing Mei from behind and smiled proudly as if she had been the one to discover Jing Mei's existence.
Col placed a shot glass in front of each of them and then got a mischievous look in her eye. "Now are you sure you don't want to join in?" She asked Carter.
Abby and Carter were the only ones sober that night and it amused Abby to see their antics and know that she was no longer influenced by that particular habit.
On the other hand her addiction for cigarettes hadn't gone away and lighting up her third of the evening she inhaled deeply before exhaling out the smoke along with the tension inside her.
Looking up she noticed Carter was gazing at her, so she smiled and then offered her packet to him. To her surprise he actually took one.
*
Carter had to smile at her bemused look. He hardly ever smoked, but he wanted to see her reaction when he accepted a cigarette. Tonight had gone better than he had thought. Susan was getting merrier by the minute and had let slip a number of secret and not-so-secret pieces of gossip, including the snippet he was holding close to his heart: that Abby hadn't been officially dating anyone, not now and not since he'd been gone.
"Okay, salt, lick, go!" Colette called out as they all downed their first shot.
"See Carter, it isn't all that bad. You sure you won't have one."
"No thanks." He grinned back at her.
"Whoops!" Colette cried out as she fell into Carter's arms. Everyone else laughed, but the sudden intimacy created caused something to sting at the back of Abby's eyes.
Excusing herself while the other's fussed over Col she made it outside before she took a second breath.
Looking round she tried in vain to get a cab, but none stopped, which meant she had two options left - go back inside or walk to catch the El. She knew which she preferred and strode purposely towards the station.
"Abby!" A voice called out to her, causing her to stop and turn.
"What's up?" She asked as the figure joined her.
"I didn't want you walking home alone."
"Chess I can manage really." She nodded back in the direction of the bar. "Go back and enjoy yourself."
"Only if you're sure."
"Yes. Goodnight." She called over her shoulder. Not seeing Carter stood at the door watching them.