Xander wasn't moving.
He hadn't for the last fifteen minutes. Anya stood behind him and watched as he stared at the dark oak door, as if it would somehow give him the answers he was looking for. Longing for.
They had been married for almost 17 years now and she always knew what he was thinking, what he was feeling.
Until now.
She had no idea what was going on in his head. She didn't know if he was standing motionless outside the door because he was afraid, or angry, or nervous, or all three. His face was blank and expressionless and his voice had been cool, emotionless, on the way over.
She had been standing silently behind him since he had stopped at the door. She stared at the back of his head, while he stared at the back of that door.
Anya, when they first arrived, was positive Xander was going to start banging on the door. Not stopping until it was opened or knocked down. She was shocked to see him raise a shaking hand, bring it just millimeters from the door and then let it drop back down before it even came in contact with the hard wood. He hadn't moved since. The only sign that he was alive was his steady, slow breathing that, ever so often, would hitch.
Anya heard another car join their Ford in the drive way, the familiar crunch of rock and the roar of the engine strangely reassuring in their unexpected situation. She knew without turning around that it was Willow and Oz.
The husband and wife exited the car, took each others' hands, and joined Anya behind Xander. Together the four of them waited outside of the house.
No one whispered a word. The only sound was of their breathing and the pounding of blood in their ears.
Anya thought about what they must look like from an outsiders point of view. A tall man standing just inches from a door that he wouldn't, couldn't knock on and three people standing just inches behind him, who can't find the words to comfort him. Who won't tell him it will all be okay because, their not sure it will be.
Anya was the first to move. She laid a comforting hand on Xander's shoulder. He seemed to gain the strength he needed to raise his arm from her simple show of support.
Xander's gentle knock was so soft even Anya could barely hear it.
For the first time since they arrived at the door step, the four adults looked at each other. Each ones eyes reflecting the fear, excitement, and guilt they all felt.
After another deep breath Xander knocked again, this time stronger.
They waited.
Anya grabbed Xander's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
Willow smiled lovingly at Oz.
Nothing happened.
Again Xander knocked.
Seconds, minutes, hours, eternity passed. And the door opened.
And they all let out a breath they didn't know they had been holding.
A breath they had been holding for 17 years.
............................................................................ ................................
She took a deep breath. She was the slayer for Gods sakes she could do this. All she had to do was open a door, one stupid door.
She let her breath out slowly, closed her eyes and shook her head as if to push away all her fears. When she finally opened her eyes, they were filled with determination and resolve. Her hand griped the cold metal and she opened the door.
Twenty-five faces turned to look at her as she stepped into the classroom. April slowly walked to the front of the room and handed the teacher her schedule. She made sure that with every step, every move, she oozed confidence.
"You may take a seat in the back, Ms. Summers" said Ms. Lunory, her new Government teacher.
With a small nod April headed to the back of the classroom and chose a seat behind a short girl with short black hair. She could feel dozens of eyes on her as she took out a pen from her purse. Ms. Lunory opened her mouth and April's worst fear came true. "Class we have a new student as I'm sure all of you noticed," she said with a smile, gesturing to April who slowly looked up from her notebook and grinned painfully at everyone, "Would you like to tell the class a little about you?"
No not really, April thought, but she stood up, "Hi, I'm April Summers," she said with a little wave and a fake smile, "I'm from Oakpark, Nevada.," I'm the slayer, "I'm an only child," I kill vampires and other monsters you couldn't even imagine, in my spare time, "I like to watch TV and eat as much chocolate as humanly possible," and I tend to spend most of my time in graveyards, "and that's about it." April quickly sat back in her seat before the teacher could ask her to do something else.
"We'll it's nice to meet you April and I know you'll just love Sunnydale," the teacher said, "now everyone, let's turn to page 186 in the book."
Although the teacher had begun her lesson no ones attention strayed from April. A cute guy a row over leaned towards her and was about to offer to share his book with her, when the door opened again. Ryan Harris walked in, flashed the teacher a have apologetic half sarcastic smile and made his way to the back of the class room. His half smile turned into a full and bright grin when he saw April. He plopped down in the seat next to her.
"Mr. Harris," said Ms. Lunory her voice thick with sarcasm, "how nice of you to join us."
"Well," Ryan said as he leaned back in his chair, "I do what I can."
April noticed that even as the teacher rolled her eyes at him there was a ghost of a smile on her lips. "All right everyone," she said returning to her lesson, "page 186... Janet would you care to begin the reading?"
As Janet began to read the cute boy again leaned over to ask if she wanted to share a book. He stopped however when he noticed that Ryan had already moved his desk next to hers, the book being placed in the middle. He also watched as April laughed silently at one of Ryan's comments and how he had leaned as close as he could to whisper in her ear another comment. This time April had to fake a coughing attack to hide her laughter. 'Oh well' the boy thought and moved on to flirt with the blonde sitting in front of him.
............................................................................ .....................
She took a deep breath as she placed her hand on the door knob. She could do this, she thought to herself, she was the slayer for God's sake and these were her friends.
At least they used to be.
Thousands of scenarios flashed through her head. Some of them good, most of them bad.
She said a silent prayer to who ever was listening that they would forgive her, that they would understand what she did. What she had to do.
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes. She could do this. She was going to do this. They had waited long enough to see her. 17 years. They shouldn't wait any longer.
She turned the door handle. Pulling the door open took all the strength and resolve she had left.
She opened her eyes but couldn't bring them to meet Xander's. Instead they stayed at his feet.
No one moved.....
"Buffy?" he asked with a voice that sounded as if it hadn't been used in years. Buffy noticed that it held a hint of hope and no accusation.
Slowly she raised her eyes to his and nodded.
Her eyes searched his, expecting to find hate, pain, and blame. All she found was love, hope, and forgiveness.
Still no one moved. The world around them seemed frozen. No birds chirped, no cars honked, no children laughed.
A single tear dripped down Buffy's cheek.
Then suddenly a door slammed down the street and the sound, unnaturally loud, shocked them out of their frozen state.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered.
Xander tackled Buffy to the ground in a hug. She felt tears on her cheeks and realized that they were a mixture of his and hers. "God I missed you so much Xand. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to tell you. But, April.... I couldn't.... What if..." she began sobbing, "She never got to call you Uncle," Buffy said pulling away and looking into his eyes.
"It's okay Buff," Xander said pulling her back to him and stroking her hair, "She can now. It's not too late. Shh, Buffy it's not your fault. We all forgive you. It was the right thing to do."
"Really?" she said her eyes sparkling from tears looked at Xander, then Willow, then Oz, and finally Anya, "Was it really?" she needed their approval, their forgiveness.
"It was," Willow said as she came over and hugged her. Oz put a comforting hand on her shoulder, Xander squeezed her hand, and Anya petted her hair.
They had all forgiven her. They didn't hate her.
At that Buffy laughed. A true, pure laughter that made her entire face light up. "So," she said with a smile turning to Xander who was now sitting next to her on the floor, "how's your life been for the last 17 years?"
He just laughed.
............................................................................ .
I hope you liked it. I promise there will be more B/A soon, in the next chapter hopefully. Tell me if you liked it, tell me if you hated it. Just tell me... please review!
He hadn't for the last fifteen minutes. Anya stood behind him and watched as he stared at the dark oak door, as if it would somehow give him the answers he was looking for. Longing for.
They had been married for almost 17 years now and she always knew what he was thinking, what he was feeling.
Until now.
She had no idea what was going on in his head. She didn't know if he was standing motionless outside the door because he was afraid, or angry, or nervous, or all three. His face was blank and expressionless and his voice had been cool, emotionless, on the way over.
She had been standing silently behind him since he had stopped at the door. She stared at the back of his head, while he stared at the back of that door.
Anya, when they first arrived, was positive Xander was going to start banging on the door. Not stopping until it was opened or knocked down. She was shocked to see him raise a shaking hand, bring it just millimeters from the door and then let it drop back down before it even came in contact with the hard wood. He hadn't moved since. The only sign that he was alive was his steady, slow breathing that, ever so often, would hitch.
Anya heard another car join their Ford in the drive way, the familiar crunch of rock and the roar of the engine strangely reassuring in their unexpected situation. She knew without turning around that it was Willow and Oz.
The husband and wife exited the car, took each others' hands, and joined Anya behind Xander. Together the four of them waited outside of the house.
No one whispered a word. The only sound was of their breathing and the pounding of blood in their ears.
Anya thought about what they must look like from an outsiders point of view. A tall man standing just inches from a door that he wouldn't, couldn't knock on and three people standing just inches behind him, who can't find the words to comfort him. Who won't tell him it will all be okay because, their not sure it will be.
Anya was the first to move. She laid a comforting hand on Xander's shoulder. He seemed to gain the strength he needed to raise his arm from her simple show of support.
Xander's gentle knock was so soft even Anya could barely hear it.
For the first time since they arrived at the door step, the four adults looked at each other. Each ones eyes reflecting the fear, excitement, and guilt they all felt.
After another deep breath Xander knocked again, this time stronger.
They waited.
Anya grabbed Xander's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
Willow smiled lovingly at Oz.
Nothing happened.
Again Xander knocked.
Seconds, minutes, hours, eternity passed. And the door opened.
And they all let out a breath they didn't know they had been holding.
A breath they had been holding for 17 years.
............................................................................ ................................
She took a deep breath. She was the slayer for Gods sakes she could do this. All she had to do was open a door, one stupid door.
She let her breath out slowly, closed her eyes and shook her head as if to push away all her fears. When she finally opened her eyes, they were filled with determination and resolve. Her hand griped the cold metal and she opened the door.
Twenty-five faces turned to look at her as she stepped into the classroom. April slowly walked to the front of the room and handed the teacher her schedule. She made sure that with every step, every move, she oozed confidence.
"You may take a seat in the back, Ms. Summers" said Ms. Lunory, her new Government teacher.
With a small nod April headed to the back of the classroom and chose a seat behind a short girl with short black hair. She could feel dozens of eyes on her as she took out a pen from her purse. Ms. Lunory opened her mouth and April's worst fear came true. "Class we have a new student as I'm sure all of you noticed," she said with a smile, gesturing to April who slowly looked up from her notebook and grinned painfully at everyone, "Would you like to tell the class a little about you?"
No not really, April thought, but she stood up, "Hi, I'm April Summers," she said with a little wave and a fake smile, "I'm from Oakpark, Nevada.," I'm the slayer, "I'm an only child," I kill vampires and other monsters you couldn't even imagine, in my spare time, "I like to watch TV and eat as much chocolate as humanly possible," and I tend to spend most of my time in graveyards, "and that's about it." April quickly sat back in her seat before the teacher could ask her to do something else.
"We'll it's nice to meet you April and I know you'll just love Sunnydale," the teacher said, "now everyone, let's turn to page 186 in the book."
Although the teacher had begun her lesson no ones attention strayed from April. A cute guy a row over leaned towards her and was about to offer to share his book with her, when the door opened again. Ryan Harris walked in, flashed the teacher a have apologetic half sarcastic smile and made his way to the back of the class room. His half smile turned into a full and bright grin when he saw April. He plopped down in the seat next to her.
"Mr. Harris," said Ms. Lunory her voice thick with sarcasm, "how nice of you to join us."
"Well," Ryan said as he leaned back in his chair, "I do what I can."
April noticed that even as the teacher rolled her eyes at him there was a ghost of a smile on her lips. "All right everyone," she said returning to her lesson, "page 186... Janet would you care to begin the reading?"
As Janet began to read the cute boy again leaned over to ask if she wanted to share a book. He stopped however when he noticed that Ryan had already moved his desk next to hers, the book being placed in the middle. He also watched as April laughed silently at one of Ryan's comments and how he had leaned as close as he could to whisper in her ear another comment. This time April had to fake a coughing attack to hide her laughter. 'Oh well' the boy thought and moved on to flirt with the blonde sitting in front of him.
............................................................................ .....................
She took a deep breath as she placed her hand on the door knob. She could do this, she thought to herself, she was the slayer for God's sake and these were her friends.
At least they used to be.
Thousands of scenarios flashed through her head. Some of them good, most of them bad.
She said a silent prayer to who ever was listening that they would forgive her, that they would understand what she did. What she had to do.
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes. She could do this. She was going to do this. They had waited long enough to see her. 17 years. They shouldn't wait any longer.
She turned the door handle. Pulling the door open took all the strength and resolve she had left.
She opened her eyes but couldn't bring them to meet Xander's. Instead they stayed at his feet.
No one moved.....
"Buffy?" he asked with a voice that sounded as if it hadn't been used in years. Buffy noticed that it held a hint of hope and no accusation.
Slowly she raised her eyes to his and nodded.
Her eyes searched his, expecting to find hate, pain, and blame. All she found was love, hope, and forgiveness.
Still no one moved. The world around them seemed frozen. No birds chirped, no cars honked, no children laughed.
A single tear dripped down Buffy's cheek.
Then suddenly a door slammed down the street and the sound, unnaturally loud, shocked them out of their frozen state.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered.
Xander tackled Buffy to the ground in a hug. She felt tears on her cheeks and realized that they were a mixture of his and hers. "God I missed you so much Xand. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to tell you. But, April.... I couldn't.... What if..." she began sobbing, "She never got to call you Uncle," Buffy said pulling away and looking into his eyes.
"It's okay Buff," Xander said pulling her back to him and stroking her hair, "She can now. It's not too late. Shh, Buffy it's not your fault. We all forgive you. It was the right thing to do."
"Really?" she said her eyes sparkling from tears looked at Xander, then Willow, then Oz, and finally Anya, "Was it really?" she needed their approval, their forgiveness.
"It was," Willow said as she came over and hugged her. Oz put a comforting hand on her shoulder, Xander squeezed her hand, and Anya petted her hair.
They had all forgiven her. They didn't hate her.
At that Buffy laughed. A true, pure laughter that made her entire face light up. "So," she said with a smile turning to Xander who was now sitting next to her on the floor, "how's your life been for the last 17 years?"
He just laughed.
............................................................................ .
I hope you liked it. I promise there will be more B/A soon, in the next chapter hopefully. Tell me if you liked it, tell me if you hated it. Just tell me... please review!