Chapter Thirty-One: Returning, Confessing, and Forbidding
A/N: Hey, this is a great chapter, I seriously love it. Kind of dark material, towards the end, but that's to be expected, isn't it? Since I hope everybody has realized by now that Aila is quite dark herself. After Chap. 29 (Attempted), I sincerely HOPE that everybody realized it there, when she tried to commit suicide … But anyway, I've finished prewriting past Gondor! Isn't that simply amazing! And I'm working on the end of my story, but (alack, the woes of being an author) I can't decide how I want to end it. I have two ways that I absolutely adore. One is short and concise, but the other I love too, but it drags on for a couple more chapters. I know everybody loves me (cough cough) and they want this story to go on FOREVER AND EVER, and I was thinking of putting up two endings, so there you go. Look forward to that! You can choose whichever ending you want, I guess. Should be fun, huh? That won't be for quite a few chapters, though, because we're still in Rohan, aren't we? Oh buddy.
Oh yeah, and just so you know, the next chapter, until the later ones, like the ending(s), isn't very full of romance. More like action. There are a few … "scenes," but these chapter are where most of the "action/adventure" comes in, so yeah. Hang tight, though, I promise LOTS of romance … he he he. Mwahahaha.
Disclaimer: Oh no, this again?! Bah! Okay, well I don't own anything except everything that I own. Simple enough? I thought so …
…
"Pax non!" she said defiantly. "Kill me." Aila thought that her sword would not allow Eomer to bring it down to her throat and kill her, since it was supposed to protect her. But as she reflected back upon the fight she realized the sword had not protected her at all. She had to move it herself, no longer did it have a mind of its own, and its color wasn't angry as it normally was. She realized this just as the sword was pressing further into her neck, and she struggled to pull it away, but Eomer's strength was too much, enveloping her hands. "Pax," she finally said, as she imagined blood springing forth from her throat. She looked up into Eomer's eyes, hardly able to breath, knowing that she would suffocate from his weight after much longer. "Pax!" she said, as loudly as she was able, which wasn't much more than a whisper.
Realizing that she could hardly breath, Eomer quickly stood up and pulled her from the floor, handing her sword back to her and retrieving his own sword.
"Will you make good our promise?" he asked her, gesturing toward her hood. Her hand flew up to stop his hand from sweeping back her hood.
"No," she said. "You said my word means nothing to you, and if I gave my word before, then you must think now that it was lie. I will not remove my hood, I will not disregard that I am no longer with my friends." Eomer's face became angry, but she sighed and continued. "But, I will make good on everything else."
…
Aila kept her head bowed as she and Eomer walked to the stable so that he could escort her from the city. Her hair flew about her face under her hood and streamed forth from it, flung back against its folds.
"We'll need a horse," said Eomer to the stable-hand, who started to retrieve the Lord's horse.
"Two horses," said Aila quickly, looking toward Eomer. "Just because you beat me, doesn't mean I like you." Nodding plaintively, Eomer jumped onto his horse that the stable-hand had saddled and brought to him. He returned again with a mare for Aila, docile and kind, and she jumped onto it as well, not waiting for Eomer to put her into a gallop toward the walls of the city. She heard Eomer hurry his horse into a gallop behind her and knew that he would catch up soon, since he rode a stallion and she had a mare.
Luckily, the guards at the gate saw them coming and quickly thrust the wooden doors open so that they could go through without stopping. She waved appreciatively to them as she raced her horse through the narrow gap, having nearly beat them to it. Eomer followed behind her, his horse's breath loud in her ears.
When she had gone quite a distance, she pulled her mare to a halt, so that she could look around her. Eomer pulled heavily up to her side and raised his eyebrows, amused by her actions.
"How far to the mountain?" she asked offhandedly, gazing past the city to the mountains that served as its backdrop.
"Only a few minute's fast ride," he replied quizzically.
"Let's go," she said, pressing into her horse's flanks to get her into a fast gallop. Eomer followed dutifully behind, calling to her directions to the nearest mountainside. After a good half an hour of pushing her mare on quickly, Aila and Eomer finally came to the mountains, and she felt bad that she had pushed the horse so far so fast, but she shrugged it off and dismounted. "I'm going to climb up the mountains a little. Stay here, I want to be alone."
"But you will go off in search of your friends …" started Eomer, but she laughed at him.
"What? Do you really think they're in the mountains? If you're worried so much about it, keep my horse. How far can I go on foot? I can't bring her up the mountain anyway. You can watch me all the time, if you want, but I told you I wasn't going to go find them." Still laughing, Aila handed him the reigns and started along a path up the mountainside, going at a swift pace. She climbed for another half an hour, her hood bothering her face and causing sweat to collect.
Finally she found a place carved into the mountainside that provided a wide berth for sitting. Far below her, she saw Eomer, guiding the horses for grazing. She marveled at how far she had traveled up the mountain, and looked out around her, toward the horizon. Sitting down upon the rocky shelf, Aila sighed and started to think, something she had been needing to do.
Depression settled down on her shoulders and she felt overly morose. First there was Boromir's death. Wasn't it her fault that she knew it was going to happen, but did nothing to stop it? Why had she let this man die? Who cares if he was after the ring? Wouldn't he have overcome his want and continued to live a great man? Now he could do nothing, for evil or for good. Then came her attempted suicide. Why, why had she tried to kill herself? What was with this sudden masochism as she relished the pain of soap in her eyes? When she had tried to suffocate herself under the water? The way she just wanted to stop living because she had done nothing to keep Boromir alive.
Being torn from her friends didn't help matters, either. She hated to admit it, but there was something about her friends that made all of her troubles go away. Everything seemed all right when she was with them. Or one of them in particular, she was sure of it.
"It couldn't be Gimli," she said quietly to herself. Though her relationship with the dwarf had improved since he became friends with Legolas, he still wasn't a great friend of hers. Frankly, he scared her a little, even if he barely came to her waist. She respected him, though, but did not think him a great friend. Of course, Aragorn was indeed a great friend of hers. She loved talking to him and joking, even though he was a serious person, and he was very dirty, she enjoyed his company. "Aragorn is strong and great, but I still don't think it's him," she said, continuing to talk quietly to herself, to assure herself of her feelings. "So then it'll have to be Legolas …
"Makes sense, doesn't it?" she asked herself. "He's an elf. I supposed elves do carry a comforting nature on their shoulders." *Plus,* she thought, *I'm the Light Bearer, and he's an elf. So he protects me all the time. It makes perfect sense.* She chuckled slightly to herself and continued to think about everything that was happening and was going to happen. Her eyes continually scanned the land in front of her, falling away to the blue of the sky as rolling waves of brown nothingness, sparsely mottled with trees and rocky outcrops. The city Edoras stood out among the rest of nature. So man-made and great against the blandness of earth.
A tall tower reigned over the northern plains in her vision, the tower of Saruman, Isengard. A cloud of smoke and dust rose about it, enveloping its lower levels, and Aila knew the Ents had begun their attack. Another, but small, cloud of dust was moving across the plains, hastening towards the falling tower. She strained her eyes, but her failing vision couldn't make out the small figures, but she knew what they were.
There they were, her friends double-timing it towards Isengard, to be reunited with the two hobbits. She was surprised at how quickly the ground passed between her friends and the tower. Entranced, Aila sat for hours, watching as they sprinted to the tower, and then they disappeared in its settling dust.
"Lady Aila," she herd Eomer's voice close to her ear and she turned sharply, finding him seated close to her on the ledge. "I think it is time to go. You have been up here for hours."
"Yeah," she said vacantly, standing up and brushing herself off. She took one last look at Isengard where her friends had disappeared before starting back down the mountain, Eomer trailing slightly behind her.
…
Aila stayed another few days in Rohan, Eomer was constantly at her side. He was waiting when she woke up and he escorted her to her room at night. Slightly annoyed, Aila got quite sick of him, and he always went with her on her outer city expeditions. Desperately, she wished that her friends could come back, so she could sit and talk with them, rather than be followed by Eomer 24/7. Mostly, she wished Legolas was back, smiling to herself and she imagined how he would push Eomer away from her every time he came near to talk to her. How Legolas would get protective over her all over again, and cause trouble with the Lord of the Mark.
Immediately, she felt bad for thinking of using Legolas to rid herself of the annoyance. Yeah, he may be a bit persistent, but she knew deep in her soul that he only tried to comfort her in the absence of her friends. That he was only trying to help. But she also knew that he could never help her as much as her friendship with Legolas. Sighing, she leaned her head in her hands and stared vacantly around her, still wishing vainly for her friends to hasten and return. Somewhere, deep inside her, she wished most for Legolas, desperately wanting his comforting touch, deep, soulful voice, and just the aura he had around her. It was touching and comfortable.
…
Aila slept late that morning, as she had the habit of doing. Her face was still covered in the cloak, but she wore a nightgown underneath it. The maid that had been assigned to her was begging with her to get up, but Aila kept waving her off. Then she heard someone burst through the door and the maid tried desperately to keep them from disturbing Aila, but they came to the bed, never-the-less.
"Lady Aila," she heard Eomer's voice clear over her drowse. His next words caused a jolt of wakefulness to surge through her: "Your friends are arriving. They are only a mile away now, and they are traveling swiftly on horseback."
Excited, she jumped from her bed, ensuring that her cloak still covered her face, she sprinted through the hallway and out into the open sunlight. She was wearing her cloak over her nightgown and it flew behind her, but she kept the hood over her face, in case Eomer was trying to trick her. Sure enough, just as she was sprinting past the Golden Hall of Theoden, the gates were opening and her four companions were dismounting and leading their horses through to the stables.
Legolas was the only one of the three who heard her coming and he turned his head to see her. Her cloak streamed behind her, and her nightdress clung tightly to her skin as she ran full speed towards her friends. She flung her hood back and pulled her hair out of the ponytail and it flew behind her as well. Closing the short distance quickly, Aila flung herself into Aragorn's embrace, tears of joy streaming down her face. She quickly fell to her knees and embraced Gimli as well, before he had the chance to shove her away. After a few moments of awkwardness he returned the hug. Recovering from her kneel, Aila threw her arms around Gandalf's neck, who was next in line for her. She clung to him tightly and he returned the greeting.
"Welcome back from the dead, Gandalf," she joked, whispering lightly in his ear as she hung on him.
"It is good to be back," he said, in the same tone. His hand upon his horse's neck, Legolas watched Aila hug the old wizard and jealousy flared within him for a moment, feeling that she was hugging Gandalf a little too long, but he quickly dispelled the feeling and smiled with the rest of his companions.
Pulling herself from Gandalf's grasp after what seemed like a few short seconds to her, but an eternity to Legolas, she turned to her elf friend, last in line. Thrusting her arms around his neck, he returned the hug, partially surprised at the force.
"I missed you," she said, more to the group than to just him, but Legolas smiled, seen by the rest, since he was a foot over her head. "There's so much you guys need to know!" she said, pulling herself away from Legolas, grabbing his hand and Gandalf's and pulling them along. "There's Eomer, Eowyn, and King Theoden, and then there's that stupid little Wormtongue, but he'll be dealt with won't he?" She continued to talk, but none paid much attention to her, watching around them as she led them through the town to the Hall of Riddermark.
Aila stopped talking after a while, realizing how stupid she sounded, as she led them through the town, not paying attention to her at all. She brought them to Hama, who was delighted to meet her friends and finally see her face. Aila excused herself so that she could change out of the nightgown and cloak. Quickly, she sprinted back to her room and threw on her clothing. Just as quickly, she walked back to the Golden Hall, giving a silent greeting to Hama, she placed her bow and sword beside Legolas' and slipped quietly into the hall to hear the conversations.
"But who are these that follow at your tail? Three ragged wanderers in gray, and you yourself the most beggar-like of the four!" she entered just in time to hear Wormtongue say that and she realized that she had released his mind to him, but there was nothing she could do now. She stood to Aragorn's side, her face dark and brooding.
"The courtesy of you hall is somewhat lessened of late, Theoden King. Has not the messenger from your gate reported the names of my companions? Seldom has any lord of Rohan received three such guests. Weapons they have laid at your doors that are worth many a mortal man, even the mightiest. Gray is their raiment, for the Elves clad them, and thus they have passed through the shadow of great perils to your hall."
"Then it is true, as Eomer reported, that you are in league with the Sorceress of the Golden wood?" said Wormtongue evilly, and she felt Gimli shudder in anger from the other side of Gandalf.
"The wise speak only of what they know, Grima. A witless worm have you become. Therefore be silent, and keep you forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a serving-man till the lightning falls." Gandalf sent lightning flashing forth through the hall and when the flashing subsided, Aila smiled vaguely when she saw Wormtongue's limp form upon the ground. After a little more speaking from Gandalf, the King of the Mark stood up slowly from his seat, assisted by Eowyn, who stood ever constantly behind him.
"Now, Lord, look out upon your land!" said Gandalf, thrusting open the doors of the Golden Hall and the King of the Mark released his black staff and it clattered to the stones. He drew himself up, as if stretching from bending over some long toil.
Gandalf talked long to Theoden, telling him in hushed tones of the Ring-bearer's plight while the others sat around them. Legolas, who cast wary glances at Eomer, who joined them as well, sat protectively near Aila, who smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder thankfully. He returned her smile and pulled her hand from his shoulder, holding it in his own. She smiled to herself, turning her head back to Gandalf and the King of the Mark, who was summoning Hama to retrieve his sword. She reveled in the feeling that everything was all right again. Her friends had returned.
"This counsel seems good to me now," said the King. "Let all my folk get ready! But you my guests--truly you said, Gandalf, that the courtesy of my hall is lessened. You have ridden through the night, and the morning wears away. You have had neither sleep nor food. A guest-house shall be made ready: there you shall sleep, when you have eaten."
"Nay, Lord," said Aragorn. "There is no rest yet for the weary. The men of Rohan must ride forth today, and we will ride with them, axe, sword, and bow. We did not bring them to rest against your wall, Lord of the mark. And I promised Eomer that my sword and his should be drawn together."
"Now indeed there is hope of victory!" replied the Third Marshal. At that moment Hama approached, behind him trailed Grima, his face twisted in pain.
"Here, Lord, is Herugrim, your ancient blade. It was found in his chest. Loth was he to render up the keys. Many other things are there which men have missed."
"You lie," grimaced Wormtongue. "And this sword your master himself gave into my keeping."
"And he now requires it of you again," said Theoden, holding up a kingly hand.
"If I cannot undo their work," said Wormtongue hastily, "with which they have poisoned your mind, hear me at least in this, lord! One who knows your mind and honors your commands should be left in Edoras. Appoint a faithful steward. Let your counselor Grima keep all things till your return--and I pray that we may see it, though no wise man will deem it hopeful."
"Down, snake!" cried Gandalf, thrusting his staff forward towards Wormtongue. "Down on your belly, worm of Saruman! How long is it since Saruman bought you? What was the promised price? When all the men were dead, you were to pick your share of the treasure and take the woman you desire? Too long have you watched her under your eyelids and haunted her steps." Aila shuddered visibly and Legolas squeezed her hand to comfort her.
"That I knew already," said Eomer, stepping forward, his hand upon his sword hilt. "For that reason I would have slain him before, forgetting the law of the hall. But there are other reasons," he continued, looking sidelong to Aila.
"Eowyn is safe now," said Gandalf. "But you, Wormtongue, you have done what you could for your true master. Some reward you have earned at least. Yet Saruman is apt to overlook his bargains. I should advise you to go quickly and remind him, lest he forget your faithful service."
"You lie," said Wormtongue.
"That word comes to quickly and easily from your tongue." Angered, Wormtongue stood up and glared at the king. He spat at his feet before darting down the hall.
"How far back his treachery goes, who can guess?" sighed Gandalf. "He persuaded you to forbid Eomer to pursue the raiding Orcs. If Eomer had not defied Wormtongue's voice speaking with your mouth, those Orcs would have reached Isengard by now, bearing a great prize. Not indeed the prize which Saruman wants above all else, but at the least two members of my Company, sharers of a secret hope."
"I owe much to Eomer," sighed the King. "And to my guests I will offer such things as I have in my armory. Swords you do not need, but helms and coats of mail of cunning work there are, given to my fathers out of Gondor. Choose from these ere we go, and may they serve you well!"
At that the small gathering broke apart and Aila went to sit on the battlements of the Rohan city. She had been standing there for some time when Legolas suddenly appeared at her side, some bread in his hand.
"Something has been bothering you," he said, not tearing his eyes from the horizon. "I can see it in your eyes." Aila breathed deeply and looked around them, to make sure they were alone. A large sigh escaped her lips and she leaned heavily against the masonry.
"His death still weighs heavily upon my mind," she said, knowing that Legolas knew very well what she said.
"You shouldn't blame yourself for his death. It wasn't your fault," he replied, still not looking from the horizon. Aila gazed searchingly at him, furrowing her brow.
"But I could have prevented it. Now I find myself worse off than I have ever been. I'm not thinking rationally anymore …"
"Don't let yourself be saddened, Aila," Legolas said, finally turning to her. His eyes were full of wisdom, comfort, and pleaded with her. Anger welled within her, to have Legolas think that he could comfort her right now, like he always could. But not now. Not here. Not with her in this condition.
"Do you even know what suicide is, Legolas?" she snapped, and his eyes widened in surprise. "Or do they even have that word in elfish, since your world is so perfect?"
"An elf has never tried to take his life, we have no such word," said Legolas slowly, understanding what she was saying. He stepped toward her and took her face in his hands, pulling her chin upward to look at her face. "You must understand there was nothing you could do. Boromir was a great man, but in life he was tempted too much by the Ring. You know yourself that he was meant to die. I know it, Aragorn knows it, no one blames you and you shouldn't blame yourself. There is no need to be so distraught."
"It doesn't matter anymore," Aila said bitterly. "I tried to kill myself, Legolas. I tried to drown myself when I was taking a bath. I can't think straight anymore and I can't stand it. I tried to commit suicide--suicide!" Tears began to stream down her face as she recalled what had happened. "It was terrible. I just felt so bad, so terrible and morose, like I had taken my sword to Boromir's throat myself. Like I had pushed you guys away and come to Rohan too willingly, like I didn't deserve to live anymore. I had my head underwater and the soap stung my eyes, but I didn't close them, because the pain felt so good. That scared me and I realized that I couldn't breath and that my brain was screaming for oxygen. It was like fighting somebody who was trying to drown me. Half of me wanted to come up for air, and the rest just wanted to die right there. I had nothing left to live for. You guys were gone, Boromir is gone, and Frodo is on his own." Her voice cracked, broken with tears. Legolas' hands moved down from her face to her waist, pulling her against him.
"It's okay, Aila," he said soothingly, pulling up a hand to stroke her hair. "There was nothing any of us could have done for Boromir and there is nothing we can do for Frodo either. We've come back, we were always going to come back. We wouldn't leave you when we told you so pointedly to come here in the first place. It's all right."
"I wish it was," she said lamely. Her arms remained limp at her sides and she made no effort to return his hug, her head pressed sideways against his tunic.
"Aila …" he trailed, releasing her and stepping back. "I don't want you to come with us to Gondor." His sentence was so simple and his voice was so sorrowful, she felt so helpless, but she was angry.
"What?!" she cried. "You can't be serious? Of course I'm going with you to Gondor!" When Legolas shook his head and looked to his feet, she stepped forward and stood pressed against him, so that she could look up into his bowed face. "Don't you understand? I don't know what I'll do if you guys leave me again! If I'm left to my thoughts. I may avoid washing, but what happens if I suddenly itch to grab my sword? Or if I get my hands onto a length of rope? What then, Legolas? You know I can't very well stay here."
"I know," he replied, still avoiding her gaze, even though she stood right in front of his face. Slightly, he relished the feeling of her body pressed against his, and a tingle of pleasure shuddered through his body. He had missed her so much when he had been separated from her, but he had no more choice than to leave her behind as he went to war. "We have decided that Eowyn is to lead the Rohirrim unable to fight to the hold of Dunharrow, and you are to go with her."
"Legolas …" she said defiantly, about to plead her case once more.
"Go with Eowyn," he said firmly, finally meeting her gaze. She was so close to him. Her angry breaths played upon his lips, but as much as he wanted it, he couldn't. Not now. Her soft brown eyes boiled with anger, hardening their light as she gazed determined up at him and her lips parted slightly to defend herself. How he wished he could silence her lips with his own, but it was not the time. She probably didn't even want it.
"All right, I'll go with Eowyn," she said after a length, tearing her eyes from his and stepping back out of him. Legolas felt a sudden chill splash down his front where her body had been, but he ignored it. Frankly, Legolas was surprised by her giving in, but he accepted it and turned around, sad but triumphant.
…
A/N: Okay, well that chapter was 10 pages!!! Aren't I amazing? After I got a whole bunch down, I just couldn't stop, so I kept copying and pasting (Hey, it's hard to highlight and drag with a touch pad!) until I came to here, because it seemed like just the place to stop! So … one ending? Two endings? What do you think? Boy, am I a genius … ^_^
A/N: Hey, this is a great chapter, I seriously love it. Kind of dark material, towards the end, but that's to be expected, isn't it? Since I hope everybody has realized by now that Aila is quite dark herself. After Chap. 29 (Attempted), I sincerely HOPE that everybody realized it there, when she tried to commit suicide … But anyway, I've finished prewriting past Gondor! Isn't that simply amazing! And I'm working on the end of my story, but (alack, the woes of being an author) I can't decide how I want to end it. I have two ways that I absolutely adore. One is short and concise, but the other I love too, but it drags on for a couple more chapters. I know everybody loves me (cough cough) and they want this story to go on FOREVER AND EVER, and I was thinking of putting up two endings, so there you go. Look forward to that! You can choose whichever ending you want, I guess. Should be fun, huh? That won't be for quite a few chapters, though, because we're still in Rohan, aren't we? Oh buddy.
Oh yeah, and just so you know, the next chapter, until the later ones, like the ending(s), isn't very full of romance. More like action. There are a few … "scenes," but these chapter are where most of the "action/adventure" comes in, so yeah. Hang tight, though, I promise LOTS of romance … he he he. Mwahahaha.
Disclaimer: Oh no, this again?! Bah! Okay, well I don't own anything except everything that I own. Simple enough? I thought so …
…
"Pax non!" she said defiantly. "Kill me." Aila thought that her sword would not allow Eomer to bring it down to her throat and kill her, since it was supposed to protect her. But as she reflected back upon the fight she realized the sword had not protected her at all. She had to move it herself, no longer did it have a mind of its own, and its color wasn't angry as it normally was. She realized this just as the sword was pressing further into her neck, and she struggled to pull it away, but Eomer's strength was too much, enveloping her hands. "Pax," she finally said, as she imagined blood springing forth from her throat. She looked up into Eomer's eyes, hardly able to breath, knowing that she would suffocate from his weight after much longer. "Pax!" she said, as loudly as she was able, which wasn't much more than a whisper.
Realizing that she could hardly breath, Eomer quickly stood up and pulled her from the floor, handing her sword back to her and retrieving his own sword.
"Will you make good our promise?" he asked her, gesturing toward her hood. Her hand flew up to stop his hand from sweeping back her hood.
"No," she said. "You said my word means nothing to you, and if I gave my word before, then you must think now that it was lie. I will not remove my hood, I will not disregard that I am no longer with my friends." Eomer's face became angry, but she sighed and continued. "But, I will make good on everything else."
…
Aila kept her head bowed as she and Eomer walked to the stable so that he could escort her from the city. Her hair flew about her face under her hood and streamed forth from it, flung back against its folds.
"We'll need a horse," said Eomer to the stable-hand, who started to retrieve the Lord's horse.
"Two horses," said Aila quickly, looking toward Eomer. "Just because you beat me, doesn't mean I like you." Nodding plaintively, Eomer jumped onto his horse that the stable-hand had saddled and brought to him. He returned again with a mare for Aila, docile and kind, and she jumped onto it as well, not waiting for Eomer to put her into a gallop toward the walls of the city. She heard Eomer hurry his horse into a gallop behind her and knew that he would catch up soon, since he rode a stallion and she had a mare.
Luckily, the guards at the gate saw them coming and quickly thrust the wooden doors open so that they could go through without stopping. She waved appreciatively to them as she raced her horse through the narrow gap, having nearly beat them to it. Eomer followed behind her, his horse's breath loud in her ears.
When she had gone quite a distance, she pulled her mare to a halt, so that she could look around her. Eomer pulled heavily up to her side and raised his eyebrows, amused by her actions.
"How far to the mountain?" she asked offhandedly, gazing past the city to the mountains that served as its backdrop.
"Only a few minute's fast ride," he replied quizzically.
"Let's go," she said, pressing into her horse's flanks to get her into a fast gallop. Eomer followed dutifully behind, calling to her directions to the nearest mountainside. After a good half an hour of pushing her mare on quickly, Aila and Eomer finally came to the mountains, and she felt bad that she had pushed the horse so far so fast, but she shrugged it off and dismounted. "I'm going to climb up the mountains a little. Stay here, I want to be alone."
"But you will go off in search of your friends …" started Eomer, but she laughed at him.
"What? Do you really think they're in the mountains? If you're worried so much about it, keep my horse. How far can I go on foot? I can't bring her up the mountain anyway. You can watch me all the time, if you want, but I told you I wasn't going to go find them." Still laughing, Aila handed him the reigns and started along a path up the mountainside, going at a swift pace. She climbed for another half an hour, her hood bothering her face and causing sweat to collect.
Finally she found a place carved into the mountainside that provided a wide berth for sitting. Far below her, she saw Eomer, guiding the horses for grazing. She marveled at how far she had traveled up the mountain, and looked out around her, toward the horizon. Sitting down upon the rocky shelf, Aila sighed and started to think, something she had been needing to do.
Depression settled down on her shoulders and she felt overly morose. First there was Boromir's death. Wasn't it her fault that she knew it was going to happen, but did nothing to stop it? Why had she let this man die? Who cares if he was after the ring? Wouldn't he have overcome his want and continued to live a great man? Now he could do nothing, for evil or for good. Then came her attempted suicide. Why, why had she tried to kill herself? What was with this sudden masochism as she relished the pain of soap in her eyes? When she had tried to suffocate herself under the water? The way she just wanted to stop living because she had done nothing to keep Boromir alive.
Being torn from her friends didn't help matters, either. She hated to admit it, but there was something about her friends that made all of her troubles go away. Everything seemed all right when she was with them. Or one of them in particular, she was sure of it.
"It couldn't be Gimli," she said quietly to herself. Though her relationship with the dwarf had improved since he became friends with Legolas, he still wasn't a great friend of hers. Frankly, he scared her a little, even if he barely came to her waist. She respected him, though, but did not think him a great friend. Of course, Aragorn was indeed a great friend of hers. She loved talking to him and joking, even though he was a serious person, and he was very dirty, she enjoyed his company. "Aragorn is strong and great, but I still don't think it's him," she said, continuing to talk quietly to herself, to assure herself of her feelings. "So then it'll have to be Legolas …
"Makes sense, doesn't it?" she asked herself. "He's an elf. I supposed elves do carry a comforting nature on their shoulders." *Plus,* she thought, *I'm the Light Bearer, and he's an elf. So he protects me all the time. It makes perfect sense.* She chuckled slightly to herself and continued to think about everything that was happening and was going to happen. Her eyes continually scanned the land in front of her, falling away to the blue of the sky as rolling waves of brown nothingness, sparsely mottled with trees and rocky outcrops. The city Edoras stood out among the rest of nature. So man-made and great against the blandness of earth.
A tall tower reigned over the northern plains in her vision, the tower of Saruman, Isengard. A cloud of smoke and dust rose about it, enveloping its lower levels, and Aila knew the Ents had begun their attack. Another, but small, cloud of dust was moving across the plains, hastening towards the falling tower. She strained her eyes, but her failing vision couldn't make out the small figures, but she knew what they were.
There they were, her friends double-timing it towards Isengard, to be reunited with the two hobbits. She was surprised at how quickly the ground passed between her friends and the tower. Entranced, Aila sat for hours, watching as they sprinted to the tower, and then they disappeared in its settling dust.
"Lady Aila," she herd Eomer's voice close to her ear and she turned sharply, finding him seated close to her on the ledge. "I think it is time to go. You have been up here for hours."
"Yeah," she said vacantly, standing up and brushing herself off. She took one last look at Isengard where her friends had disappeared before starting back down the mountain, Eomer trailing slightly behind her.
…
Aila stayed another few days in Rohan, Eomer was constantly at her side. He was waiting when she woke up and he escorted her to her room at night. Slightly annoyed, Aila got quite sick of him, and he always went with her on her outer city expeditions. Desperately, she wished that her friends could come back, so she could sit and talk with them, rather than be followed by Eomer 24/7. Mostly, she wished Legolas was back, smiling to herself and she imagined how he would push Eomer away from her every time he came near to talk to her. How Legolas would get protective over her all over again, and cause trouble with the Lord of the Mark.
Immediately, she felt bad for thinking of using Legolas to rid herself of the annoyance. Yeah, he may be a bit persistent, but she knew deep in her soul that he only tried to comfort her in the absence of her friends. That he was only trying to help. But she also knew that he could never help her as much as her friendship with Legolas. Sighing, she leaned her head in her hands and stared vacantly around her, still wishing vainly for her friends to hasten and return. Somewhere, deep inside her, she wished most for Legolas, desperately wanting his comforting touch, deep, soulful voice, and just the aura he had around her. It was touching and comfortable.
…
Aila slept late that morning, as she had the habit of doing. Her face was still covered in the cloak, but she wore a nightgown underneath it. The maid that had been assigned to her was begging with her to get up, but Aila kept waving her off. Then she heard someone burst through the door and the maid tried desperately to keep them from disturbing Aila, but they came to the bed, never-the-less.
"Lady Aila," she heard Eomer's voice clear over her drowse. His next words caused a jolt of wakefulness to surge through her: "Your friends are arriving. They are only a mile away now, and they are traveling swiftly on horseback."
Excited, she jumped from her bed, ensuring that her cloak still covered her face, she sprinted through the hallway and out into the open sunlight. She was wearing her cloak over her nightgown and it flew behind her, but she kept the hood over her face, in case Eomer was trying to trick her. Sure enough, just as she was sprinting past the Golden Hall of Theoden, the gates were opening and her four companions were dismounting and leading their horses through to the stables.
Legolas was the only one of the three who heard her coming and he turned his head to see her. Her cloak streamed behind her, and her nightdress clung tightly to her skin as she ran full speed towards her friends. She flung her hood back and pulled her hair out of the ponytail and it flew behind her as well. Closing the short distance quickly, Aila flung herself into Aragorn's embrace, tears of joy streaming down her face. She quickly fell to her knees and embraced Gimli as well, before he had the chance to shove her away. After a few moments of awkwardness he returned the hug. Recovering from her kneel, Aila threw her arms around Gandalf's neck, who was next in line for her. She clung to him tightly and he returned the greeting.
"Welcome back from the dead, Gandalf," she joked, whispering lightly in his ear as she hung on him.
"It is good to be back," he said, in the same tone. His hand upon his horse's neck, Legolas watched Aila hug the old wizard and jealousy flared within him for a moment, feeling that she was hugging Gandalf a little too long, but he quickly dispelled the feeling and smiled with the rest of his companions.
Pulling herself from Gandalf's grasp after what seemed like a few short seconds to her, but an eternity to Legolas, she turned to her elf friend, last in line. Thrusting her arms around his neck, he returned the hug, partially surprised at the force.
"I missed you," she said, more to the group than to just him, but Legolas smiled, seen by the rest, since he was a foot over her head. "There's so much you guys need to know!" she said, pulling herself away from Legolas, grabbing his hand and Gandalf's and pulling them along. "There's Eomer, Eowyn, and King Theoden, and then there's that stupid little Wormtongue, but he'll be dealt with won't he?" She continued to talk, but none paid much attention to her, watching around them as she led them through the town to the Hall of Riddermark.
Aila stopped talking after a while, realizing how stupid she sounded, as she led them through the town, not paying attention to her at all. She brought them to Hama, who was delighted to meet her friends and finally see her face. Aila excused herself so that she could change out of the nightgown and cloak. Quickly, she sprinted back to her room and threw on her clothing. Just as quickly, she walked back to the Golden Hall, giving a silent greeting to Hama, she placed her bow and sword beside Legolas' and slipped quietly into the hall to hear the conversations.
"But who are these that follow at your tail? Three ragged wanderers in gray, and you yourself the most beggar-like of the four!" she entered just in time to hear Wormtongue say that and she realized that she had released his mind to him, but there was nothing she could do now. She stood to Aragorn's side, her face dark and brooding.
"The courtesy of you hall is somewhat lessened of late, Theoden King. Has not the messenger from your gate reported the names of my companions? Seldom has any lord of Rohan received three such guests. Weapons they have laid at your doors that are worth many a mortal man, even the mightiest. Gray is their raiment, for the Elves clad them, and thus they have passed through the shadow of great perils to your hall."
"Then it is true, as Eomer reported, that you are in league with the Sorceress of the Golden wood?" said Wormtongue evilly, and she felt Gimli shudder in anger from the other side of Gandalf.
"The wise speak only of what they know, Grima. A witless worm have you become. Therefore be silent, and keep you forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a serving-man till the lightning falls." Gandalf sent lightning flashing forth through the hall and when the flashing subsided, Aila smiled vaguely when she saw Wormtongue's limp form upon the ground. After a little more speaking from Gandalf, the King of the Mark stood up slowly from his seat, assisted by Eowyn, who stood ever constantly behind him.
"Now, Lord, look out upon your land!" said Gandalf, thrusting open the doors of the Golden Hall and the King of the Mark released his black staff and it clattered to the stones. He drew himself up, as if stretching from bending over some long toil.
Gandalf talked long to Theoden, telling him in hushed tones of the Ring-bearer's plight while the others sat around them. Legolas, who cast wary glances at Eomer, who joined them as well, sat protectively near Aila, who smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder thankfully. He returned her smile and pulled her hand from his shoulder, holding it in his own. She smiled to herself, turning her head back to Gandalf and the King of the Mark, who was summoning Hama to retrieve his sword. She reveled in the feeling that everything was all right again. Her friends had returned.
"This counsel seems good to me now," said the King. "Let all my folk get ready! But you my guests--truly you said, Gandalf, that the courtesy of my hall is lessened. You have ridden through the night, and the morning wears away. You have had neither sleep nor food. A guest-house shall be made ready: there you shall sleep, when you have eaten."
"Nay, Lord," said Aragorn. "There is no rest yet for the weary. The men of Rohan must ride forth today, and we will ride with them, axe, sword, and bow. We did not bring them to rest against your wall, Lord of the mark. And I promised Eomer that my sword and his should be drawn together."
"Now indeed there is hope of victory!" replied the Third Marshal. At that moment Hama approached, behind him trailed Grima, his face twisted in pain.
"Here, Lord, is Herugrim, your ancient blade. It was found in his chest. Loth was he to render up the keys. Many other things are there which men have missed."
"You lie," grimaced Wormtongue. "And this sword your master himself gave into my keeping."
"And he now requires it of you again," said Theoden, holding up a kingly hand.
"If I cannot undo their work," said Wormtongue hastily, "with which they have poisoned your mind, hear me at least in this, lord! One who knows your mind and honors your commands should be left in Edoras. Appoint a faithful steward. Let your counselor Grima keep all things till your return--and I pray that we may see it, though no wise man will deem it hopeful."
"Down, snake!" cried Gandalf, thrusting his staff forward towards Wormtongue. "Down on your belly, worm of Saruman! How long is it since Saruman bought you? What was the promised price? When all the men were dead, you were to pick your share of the treasure and take the woman you desire? Too long have you watched her under your eyelids and haunted her steps." Aila shuddered visibly and Legolas squeezed her hand to comfort her.
"That I knew already," said Eomer, stepping forward, his hand upon his sword hilt. "For that reason I would have slain him before, forgetting the law of the hall. But there are other reasons," he continued, looking sidelong to Aila.
"Eowyn is safe now," said Gandalf. "But you, Wormtongue, you have done what you could for your true master. Some reward you have earned at least. Yet Saruman is apt to overlook his bargains. I should advise you to go quickly and remind him, lest he forget your faithful service."
"You lie," said Wormtongue.
"That word comes to quickly and easily from your tongue." Angered, Wormtongue stood up and glared at the king. He spat at his feet before darting down the hall.
"How far back his treachery goes, who can guess?" sighed Gandalf. "He persuaded you to forbid Eomer to pursue the raiding Orcs. If Eomer had not defied Wormtongue's voice speaking with your mouth, those Orcs would have reached Isengard by now, bearing a great prize. Not indeed the prize which Saruman wants above all else, but at the least two members of my Company, sharers of a secret hope."
"I owe much to Eomer," sighed the King. "And to my guests I will offer such things as I have in my armory. Swords you do not need, but helms and coats of mail of cunning work there are, given to my fathers out of Gondor. Choose from these ere we go, and may they serve you well!"
At that the small gathering broke apart and Aila went to sit on the battlements of the Rohan city. She had been standing there for some time when Legolas suddenly appeared at her side, some bread in his hand.
"Something has been bothering you," he said, not tearing his eyes from the horizon. "I can see it in your eyes." Aila breathed deeply and looked around them, to make sure they were alone. A large sigh escaped her lips and she leaned heavily against the masonry.
"His death still weighs heavily upon my mind," she said, knowing that Legolas knew very well what she said.
"You shouldn't blame yourself for his death. It wasn't your fault," he replied, still not looking from the horizon. Aila gazed searchingly at him, furrowing her brow.
"But I could have prevented it. Now I find myself worse off than I have ever been. I'm not thinking rationally anymore …"
"Don't let yourself be saddened, Aila," Legolas said, finally turning to her. His eyes were full of wisdom, comfort, and pleaded with her. Anger welled within her, to have Legolas think that he could comfort her right now, like he always could. But not now. Not here. Not with her in this condition.
"Do you even know what suicide is, Legolas?" she snapped, and his eyes widened in surprise. "Or do they even have that word in elfish, since your world is so perfect?"
"An elf has never tried to take his life, we have no such word," said Legolas slowly, understanding what she was saying. He stepped toward her and took her face in his hands, pulling her chin upward to look at her face. "You must understand there was nothing you could do. Boromir was a great man, but in life he was tempted too much by the Ring. You know yourself that he was meant to die. I know it, Aragorn knows it, no one blames you and you shouldn't blame yourself. There is no need to be so distraught."
"It doesn't matter anymore," Aila said bitterly. "I tried to kill myself, Legolas. I tried to drown myself when I was taking a bath. I can't think straight anymore and I can't stand it. I tried to commit suicide--suicide!" Tears began to stream down her face as she recalled what had happened. "It was terrible. I just felt so bad, so terrible and morose, like I had taken my sword to Boromir's throat myself. Like I had pushed you guys away and come to Rohan too willingly, like I didn't deserve to live anymore. I had my head underwater and the soap stung my eyes, but I didn't close them, because the pain felt so good. That scared me and I realized that I couldn't breath and that my brain was screaming for oxygen. It was like fighting somebody who was trying to drown me. Half of me wanted to come up for air, and the rest just wanted to die right there. I had nothing left to live for. You guys were gone, Boromir is gone, and Frodo is on his own." Her voice cracked, broken with tears. Legolas' hands moved down from her face to her waist, pulling her against him.
"It's okay, Aila," he said soothingly, pulling up a hand to stroke her hair. "There was nothing any of us could have done for Boromir and there is nothing we can do for Frodo either. We've come back, we were always going to come back. We wouldn't leave you when we told you so pointedly to come here in the first place. It's all right."
"I wish it was," she said lamely. Her arms remained limp at her sides and she made no effort to return his hug, her head pressed sideways against his tunic.
"Aila …" he trailed, releasing her and stepping back. "I don't want you to come with us to Gondor." His sentence was so simple and his voice was so sorrowful, she felt so helpless, but she was angry.
"What?!" she cried. "You can't be serious? Of course I'm going with you to Gondor!" When Legolas shook his head and looked to his feet, she stepped forward and stood pressed against him, so that she could look up into his bowed face. "Don't you understand? I don't know what I'll do if you guys leave me again! If I'm left to my thoughts. I may avoid washing, but what happens if I suddenly itch to grab my sword? Or if I get my hands onto a length of rope? What then, Legolas? You know I can't very well stay here."
"I know," he replied, still avoiding her gaze, even though she stood right in front of his face. Slightly, he relished the feeling of her body pressed against his, and a tingle of pleasure shuddered through his body. He had missed her so much when he had been separated from her, but he had no more choice than to leave her behind as he went to war. "We have decided that Eowyn is to lead the Rohirrim unable to fight to the hold of Dunharrow, and you are to go with her."
"Legolas …" she said defiantly, about to plead her case once more.
"Go with Eowyn," he said firmly, finally meeting her gaze. She was so close to him. Her angry breaths played upon his lips, but as much as he wanted it, he couldn't. Not now. Her soft brown eyes boiled with anger, hardening their light as she gazed determined up at him and her lips parted slightly to defend herself. How he wished he could silence her lips with his own, but it was not the time. She probably didn't even want it.
"All right, I'll go with Eowyn," she said after a length, tearing her eyes from his and stepping back out of him. Legolas felt a sudden chill splash down his front where her body had been, but he ignored it. Frankly, Legolas was surprised by her giving in, but he accepted it and turned around, sad but triumphant.
…
A/N: Okay, well that chapter was 10 pages!!! Aren't I amazing? After I got a whole bunch down, I just couldn't stop, so I kept copying and pasting (Hey, it's hard to highlight and drag with a touch pad!) until I came to here, because it seemed like just the place to stop! So … one ending? Two endings? What do you think? Boy, am I a genius … ^_^