Well, hello again everybody. Sorry this update takes a bit long. Stuff
happens. Been ill. Expelled a few gallons of mucus. But I'm a bit better
now.
I am never watching daytime television again.
DISCLAIMER: Do I look like I own Jak II? Why thank you! But, sadly, I don't.
**************************************************************************** **************
Chapter Two: Photographs are fun.
Jak was walking down the sandy stretches of the pumping station, making sure he didn't step in the water because his legs would most probably dissolve. Crap of all descriptions littered the defiled area. He stubbed his foot on an unidentifiable piece of....something....... Since Jak was on his own, he began talking to himself. 'The Haven City Riviera? I don't THINK so.' He was in a bad mood. As you may well have read earlier, Jak had had his hoverboard BLOWN UP by Daxter. So now he wanted to be alone to sulk. He look down at the unidentifiable.....something..........
We humans know perfectly well it was a camera. Jak didn't have a chuffing clue. He picked it up and looked directly into the lense. 'I haven't got a chuffing clue what this is.' His finger pressed the little black button on top. A BLINDING WHITE LIGHT burst into his retina and he fell back onto the sand screaming 'MY EYES!' When the annoying dots dancing in his vision finally disappeared, Jak stood up, and glowered down at the camera. To his pathetic astonishment, it gave a little whirr and out came a perfectly formed photo of Jak's left eye. The cogs in Jak's battle-demented brain began to turn. Button + Left Eye = Picture of left eye. The cogs in Jak's battle-demented brain turned faster. Press Button More + Scenery = More pictures. Then he began thinking PROPERLY. Button + Gullible Friends = Kaching! With an evil stereotype laugh Jak headed back for the glorious shit-hole known as Haven City.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~4 Hours Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jak: Hey, loghead! Take a peek at this! Samos: Jak! I told you not to talk like a retarded ghetto boy. Jak: Just look, mossball. Samos: *turns pale* Don't show anyone! I'll do anything! A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!'
**********************
Jak: Torn! I request your questionably masculine form over here. Torn: What did you say? Jak: Get your girly-girly-hairstyle over here! Torn: *whips gun out* You're dead. Jak: *waves a photo* No I'm not. Torn: N-no......you're not........
*********************
Jak: Ashelinsucksass. Ashelin: WHAT? Jak: Ashelinisacrumpetmunchingdonkeyface. Ashelin: FUCKING RUN DARK BOY! Jak: Nope. *holds up photo* Ashelin: Shit.
*********************
Flashbacks~~~~~the-screen-is-going-blurry~~~~~~~
Jak headed to a little known bar aptly named 'The Little Known Bar.' Now Jak had power. He was going to publicise Samos's alter life. With the invention he had found and named the Jakbox. Oh yeah, he had a classy talent for names. Jak went in. The smell of puke and cheap beer fumes whacked into his olfactory organs. 'Bingo.' He said to himself. Samos was sat on a chair, draped in gold jewellery and 'entertaining' a group of women. He was obviously pissed out of his log. Grabbing another glass heemptied the contents down his throat and beard. A song came blaring over the speakers. Samos got up and began gyrating his hips to the beat. 'Oh yeah! Watch the daddy dance!' Turning his back on the giggling women, he shouted, 'Full Moooon!' The pants were down. *FLASH*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jak then headed to the slums. Straight to the oracle. The sound of unbridled sobbing came from the innards. 'And then I stole a bag of plums........... The deep rumbling voice of the Oracle rang out. 'We all make mistakes.' Jak dived round the door . *FLASH*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jak's final stop was at the notorious lap dancing club near the race track. Weaving his way through the cheering crowd, he angled the Jakbox, and took aim at a red dreadlocked someone...............
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daxter: Woah!
Jak was being rocked in a hammock by Ashelin, whilst Torn fed him grapes and Samos ran about with drinks.
Daxter: What have you done that I seemingly never have screwball?
Jak: I found the magic flash.
Daxter: Sure you did, buddy.
Jak: I found the Jakbox.
Daxter: We're all proud of you, Jak.
********************************************************
Another one done. I'm feeling better now. I can eat full meals. So I'm back writing. I'll thank everyone who's reviewed next chapter. Well, chapter three will soon be up! I'm gonna eat my crumpets and think of idea thingies.
'If you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, ORDER MORE TUNNEL!'
DISCLAIMER: Do I look like I own Jak II? Why thank you! But, sadly, I don't.
**************************************************************************** **************
Chapter Two: Photographs are fun.
Jak was walking down the sandy stretches of the pumping station, making sure he didn't step in the water because his legs would most probably dissolve. Crap of all descriptions littered the defiled area. He stubbed his foot on an unidentifiable piece of....something....... Since Jak was on his own, he began talking to himself. 'The Haven City Riviera? I don't THINK so.' He was in a bad mood. As you may well have read earlier, Jak had had his hoverboard BLOWN UP by Daxter. So now he wanted to be alone to sulk. He look down at the unidentifiable.....something..........
We humans know perfectly well it was a camera. Jak didn't have a chuffing clue. He picked it up and looked directly into the lense. 'I haven't got a chuffing clue what this is.' His finger pressed the little black button on top. A BLINDING WHITE LIGHT burst into his retina and he fell back onto the sand screaming 'MY EYES!' When the annoying dots dancing in his vision finally disappeared, Jak stood up, and glowered down at the camera. To his pathetic astonishment, it gave a little whirr and out came a perfectly formed photo of Jak's left eye. The cogs in Jak's battle-demented brain began to turn. Button + Left Eye = Picture of left eye. The cogs in Jak's battle-demented brain turned faster. Press Button More + Scenery = More pictures. Then he began thinking PROPERLY. Button + Gullible Friends = Kaching! With an evil stereotype laugh Jak headed back for the glorious shit-hole known as Haven City.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~4 Hours Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jak: Hey, loghead! Take a peek at this! Samos: Jak! I told you not to talk like a retarded ghetto boy. Jak: Just look, mossball. Samos: *turns pale* Don't show anyone! I'll do anything! A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!'
**********************
Jak: Torn! I request your questionably masculine form over here. Torn: What did you say? Jak: Get your girly-girly-hairstyle over here! Torn: *whips gun out* You're dead. Jak: *waves a photo* No I'm not. Torn: N-no......you're not........
*********************
Jak: Ashelinsucksass. Ashelin: WHAT? Jak: Ashelinisacrumpetmunchingdonkeyface. Ashelin: FUCKING RUN DARK BOY! Jak: Nope. *holds up photo* Ashelin: Shit.
*********************
Flashbacks~~~~~the-screen-is-going-blurry~~~~~~~
Jak headed to a little known bar aptly named 'The Little Known Bar.' Now Jak had power. He was going to publicise Samos's alter life. With the invention he had found and named the Jakbox. Oh yeah, he had a classy talent for names. Jak went in. The smell of puke and cheap beer fumes whacked into his olfactory organs. 'Bingo.' He said to himself. Samos was sat on a chair, draped in gold jewellery and 'entertaining' a group of women. He was obviously pissed out of his log. Grabbing another glass heemptied the contents down his throat and beard. A song came blaring over the speakers. Samos got up and began gyrating his hips to the beat. 'Oh yeah! Watch the daddy dance!' Turning his back on the giggling women, he shouted, 'Full Moooon!' The pants were down. *FLASH*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jak then headed to the slums. Straight to the oracle. The sound of unbridled sobbing came from the innards. 'And then I stole a bag of plums........... The deep rumbling voice of the Oracle rang out. 'We all make mistakes.' Jak dived round the door . *FLASH*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jak's final stop was at the notorious lap dancing club near the race track. Weaving his way through the cheering crowd, he angled the Jakbox, and took aim at a red dreadlocked someone...............
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daxter: Woah!
Jak was being rocked in a hammock by Ashelin, whilst Torn fed him grapes and Samos ran about with drinks.
Daxter: What have you done that I seemingly never have screwball?
Jak: I found the magic flash.
Daxter: Sure you did, buddy.
Jak: I found the Jakbox.
Daxter: We're all proud of you, Jak.
********************************************************
Another one done. I'm feeling better now. I can eat full meals. So I'm back writing. I'll thank everyone who's reviewed next chapter. Well, chapter three will soon be up! I'm gonna eat my crumpets and think of idea thingies.
'If you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, ORDER MORE TUNNEL!'