Chapter Thirty-Eight: Explanations

A/N: Okay, I know, I probably told everybody that the chapter following this one would be the beginning of ending #1, but I lied. Yes, I am a liar. But now I'm going to tell you the truth. I just had to have this great cliffhanger. The next chapter will be pretty short. But you'll absolutely die when you read the next chapter, I love it so much, and I haven't even written it yet. Okay, but this is how it goes. I know, I said, hey, don't expect anything until Wednesday, and this is Sunday, when I said I was going to recuperate from Saturday! But I lied there too. Don't expect the next chapter until Wednesday, though. I just had to write this one and put it up ASAP. Love ya, bye. Oh yeah, and this was why in the intermission, I was like, "don't you love dancing? Dance, dance, dance" … that was for this chapter. OH yeah, and you find out a whole bunch about why Aila is so dense towards love and why she became suicidal and blah, blah, blah. Hope you love it.



When Aila woke up, she found the clothes she had left behind from her own time were laying on the trunk at the foot of her bed. Sighing, she fingered them for a moment, before donning her futuristic dress. Something stirred deep in her chest when she put on her old clothing, and she knew how much her heart ached to return to her own world, but she was loth to tell Arwen that she wanted to return so early. A knock sounded at the door, and when she opened it, Aila smiled. *Speak of the devil …* she thought as she gazed half-heartedly to Arwen's face. Arwen began to bite her lip a little nervously and walked into Aila's room at her friend's beckoning. Her slender hands she wrung slightly, not knowing quite where to start, but she had always been more brave than the other elven-ladies she knew.

"Aila, why don't you love Legolas?" Shock registered on Aila's face, before it was set with mild determination. She turned her face from Arwen's.

"Because he doesn't love me," Aila replied shortly, and before Arwen could reply, Aila continued. "I want to go home." It was Arwen's turn to be shocked.

"So soon?"

"Yes."

"Why so soon?"

"There is nothing left for me here. The War of the Ring is over and my heart longs to go home. To begin college, to get out of Burbank. I'll come back and visit, Arwen, I swear," she said, finally looking back to Arwen's face. Her face was full of conviction, and Arwen saw the sorrow in her eyes, the tears that began to form. It clicked within the elven lady's mind. Aila didn't want to go home so badly, she wanted to get away from Legolas. She did truly love him, but she was shunning her love … as the prophecy had said. But why? What was she so afraid of that she wouldn't let herself love? Arwen opened her mouth to ask Aila exactly that, but immediately she knew it wasn't her place. She didn't need to know. Indeed, she doubted if Aila knew herself.

However, if one travels into the psyche of the mind--which people rarely do, for they are afraid of what they might find--Aila's condition may be traced back to her very family. For family is the cause of everything. Well, almost everything. Aila had grown up with two older brothers, and she had to fight with them constantly, physically and mentally to keep herself from crying, which was considered weak by the older boys, so it was considered weak by Aila herself. She had grown up a tomboy, excelled in AFJROTC, immersed herself in marching, drill movements and sequences, learning everything she could about the military, airplanes, and the science of flight. She had taken every engineering course she could to become an aeronautical engineer (to design airplanes for the Air Force) and had hardly any place for relationships. The relationship with her family faltered, and she had never really loved her parents as it was, though she held them in the deepest respect, and that minimal love became even less as time went on and they grew further apart as Aila engrossed herself in her studies, partly forced into it by those very parents.

In fact, Aila, despite her beauty, quick wit and humor, and lovable nature, had pushed away as many relationships as she could. Eventually, guys stopped asking her to dances and out on dates, because they already knew the answer. Even though she had shunned them, to be simply asked is an honor, and when those proposals stopped, Aila's self-esteem plummeted and she pushed herself further into her studies, practiced the SAT, determined the be valedictorian and to get a perfect 1600. She became the cadet Colonel of her JROTC, the highest possible rank, because in JROTC, you can't be a general: whether it be brigadier, major, lieutenant, or simply four-star general. She graduated with highest honors, exalted by her friends and classmates.

This was the beginning of her hate for love. Funny thing that--to hate love, but indeed she did. When guys ceased to ask her out, when she looked back on high school, and saw a handful of failed relationships. Failed because whenever they tried to get close, she pushed them further away, afraid of what her brothers might say, still traumatized from their fighting and insults, constant teasing. She was also suicidal at this point, which she was later to become again in Rohan, because part of her character were extreme emotions, which were constantly suppressed, making them even more extreme. Another escape of this suicidal nature, was the Lord of the Rings trilogy itself. She immersed herself in that as well, studied Sindarin, learned it well enough, perhaps not fluently, but she liked to say that she knew it fluently, but it fluttered in and out because she was constantly out of practice.

A third outlet of depression was the archery range. Beginning her freshman year, a little after the beginning of her social problems, Aila went to the range practically once a week, mostly on the weekends, and she spent hours at it, sending arrow after arrow into the heart of the target. Sometimes she would miss terrible, in her worst moods, which would send her even further and several times she threw her bow to the ground and sat down to take a breather, calming herself enough to take up her bow once more before going home, with her façade of cheer and happiness.

Arwen did not know this, and Aila, not a psychiatrist, never connected it, nor thought of it period. She blamed herself and what she thought was a terrible body and a terrible attitude. Finally, when she graduated, her peer pressure faded and she became happy and saw herself for the very first time. Thus, she had bought the mirror, and her new life began.

When Arwen had informed Elrond that Aila wished to pass back through the mirror, he shook his head for a moment, before he exclaimed about a feast and bustled off hurriedly. Smiling as well, Arwen went off to aid her father in his preparations for a departing feast for Aila, which would as well serve as a celebratory feast for the defeat of Sauron. The preparations were swiftly made, and the feast commenced as the sun began to set in the sky, many hours after the preparations had begun.

Arwen practically had to bodily drag Aila to the feast, who was sloth to attend and seemed more moody and reserved than usual. This worried Arwen too much. Arwen also had to force Aila to wear a dress when Aila shunned the dress that Arwen presented her, a light golden hue, that set off her skin color. Lights decorated the feasting, setting off multicolored hues across the beautiful stone carvings of the House. Around her elves were laughing and celebrating, light and airy, solemn and stern, cold and aloof, warm and welcoming. So many contrasts, so many personalities.

Among them, Aila did not see Legolas, and heaved a small sigh of relief, unconsciously. The feast was long and the food was good. Aila ate her fill happily as she talked to Arwen, as the sun set outside the hall and twilight covered the landscape, at last overpowered by the sultry fastnesses of the nightly spring. After hours of talking and eating, eating and talking, sometimes just eating, but mostly just talking, the elves stood up from their worldly seats and began to go excitedly to the renowned Hall of Fire. Sweet music met Aila's tired ears immediately, and all around her joyous elves began to dance in their old fashion, sweeping way.

Their feet worked patterns, and they grasped each other from arm's distance, some of the most daring only a foot apart. There was a lack of closeness, of the pure joy of dancing, Aila thought. She almost laughed out loud, thinking about the high school dances that she had attended, so frivolously wonderful. Again, she declined many of those who asked her to dance, not because she did not know how to dance anymore, though that was her excuse, for all those months ago, Legolas had taught her at their first meeting. Now, she simply was not in the mood, despite the great upturn in attitude since the beginning of the feast. Aila felt marvelously lighthearted.

Beside her sat Arwen, who danced with no one, as Aragorn was not there. Suddenly, she turned to Aila and smiled.

"Show me how you would dance," and didn't even wait for Aila's reaction, but grabbed her wrist and dragged her onto the dance floor. First, Aila was shy and shook her head, politely refusing, but soon several other female elves were crowding around her, eager to see this new culture. Finally, Aila consented, and perked an ear to the music to listen to the beat. It was slow and melodious, deep and rhythmical, full of sound and sorrow.

"This music won't do …" she said, more to herself than the others, but they pressed forward eagerly. "Arwen," she explained, a sudden idea coming over her. "Can you bring your mirror in here?" Nodding, Arwen gestured for several of the guards at the door to retrieve the mirror from her room and in a matter of minutes, the mirror stood near one of the walls of the room. Many were crowded around now, and Aila was getting new doubts.

Cautiously, she stepped through the mirror and worked quickly in her room. It was the first time she had been back in her time in months in Middle Earth, but it was not the time to think of simply staying. She couldn't just abandon Arwen like that. Silently, in the dead of the night as the clock's hand ticked away monotonously, she picked up her stereo, keeping it plugged in, but pulled the speakers and wires through the mirror. On the other side of time, it was a strange sight, a stereo protruding from a mirror, its cords disappearing into its glass.

Totally ignoring the elves that crowded around her, and their constant questions about the thing before them. The elven singers had stopped their songs and were watching in earnest, as Aila clearly said that this black box was supposed to make music, which they didn't see possible. There were no strings, or holes to blow in, or keys to press. Besides numerous buttons and lights that illuminated the dark corner.

Aila already knew what CDs were in her three-disc changer, but she checked anyway, and pushed the setting to the 2nd of the CDs, turning to track 14, her head beginning to bounce to the music as the sound began to boom through the speakers. Always a sucker for noise, she turned the speakers up so that the base beat through the hall. All of the elves took a step back as though it was rehearsed as the music began to relatively softly play from the speakers, head throbbing. It was then that Aila closed her eyes and allowed herself to move with the music. Her hips swayed back and forth and her hands explored her waist, and reached up over her head as she danced along with the music.

The elves just stared at her, in quite a cultural shock. She beckoned for the female elves to imitate her, as she swung her hips back and forth, imitating the dancing of her time. Her hands explored down her side as she closed her eyes to the music, past the curve of her waist, then both up into the air and she danced around in a circle. She opened her eyes again and saw Arwen self-consciously trying to imitate her, and several other female elves were laughing as they watched each other trying to imitate this.

Many of the males were laughing as well, knowing they were not expected to dance like this. Aila totally ignored them, knowing they would listen to the words of the song, which would lead them to it. U-Turn, by Usher.

"It's been some years now
Since we hit the floor to get down
We always had a step to go with the sound
Now everybody wanna sit around, drink and bawl

Remember, the snake and how the floor used to clear
And everybody used to break
What's crunk now used to be called getting to it,
I'm bringing it all back, this is how we do, Just!

Put your hands up, bend your knees,
Bounce around in a circle, get down with me, Oh
It's not hard to learn
It's called the u-turn

*Repeat Chorus

(In the 80's)
Fresh with the talk
MJ had everybody doing the moonwalk
(In the 90's)
I had a high flat top,
Doing the wop, Pee Wee to the Reebok
Can't forget about my high school dance
The sound was Bobbie Brown, and
The dance was the running Man
(now)
Everybody wanna push Bentleys,
The year is 2, everybody do the u-turn!

Put your hands up, bend your knees
Bounce around in a circle, get down with me
It's not hard to learn
It's called the u-turn

*Repeat Chorus 2x

All you need to do is let go
Let the tempo take over you
Let the rhythm deep in side your soul
Let it lead you to the floor! C'mon!

*Repeat Chorus until fade out.



Around her, she saw Arwen along with her fellow elven-ladies smiling like they had never smiled before. Several were trying to catch their breath and Aila was vaguely wondering how fast they had danced. The men around them were laughing and several were jokingly inquiring Aila how the men were supposed to dance. She shrugged at them and smiled, breaking into a laugh as well.

"I don't know how guys are supposed to dance, sorry," she said, but she knew they were not sorry.

"But that was a fast song," replied Arwen. "Don't you have slow songs, too?" Aila's smile widened.

"Many, many of them. You want to know how to slow dance? Okay, well, it's a little--uh, well. How can I describe? It's a bit more intimate than how you guys dance. You're so far apart. Slow dances are about getting close and stuff." Blood began to rise in her cheeks as she started to stutter. Of course, she knew how to slow dance, she had slow danced many times with her few boyfriends, but here were a bunch of strange elves that she didn't know. "I'm going to need a guy to dance with, though." She smiled, embarrassed, as several males stepped forward. She scanned the crowd of guys for someone she knew, and she finally spotted Legolas. *Why not?* she asked herself. After all, she did know him, and she wouldn't be seeing him for a while until she visited again. She grinned and beckoned for him to come forward. Smiling back, Legolas came weaving through the men, coming cautiously and slowly.

Walking back to her stereo, Aila thought about playing "U Got it Bad" by Usher, but then she remembered her Good Charlotte CD was in there, CD #1. She flipped the disc changer and played the very last on the disc, the best slow song she had ever heard.



A/N: Okay, well it's kind of short. Six pages. But full of content. Aila's got a terrible past huh? Her own damn fault too. I loved the dancing, it kind of sucked to write, and I know it's not great, but I spend most of my time on the slow dance … he, he, he. I am SOO evil. Maybe I'll get a biscuit for the next chapter … and THEN a scratch behind the ears. OOH! Can I have a walk too?