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Note: There will probably be two more chapters after this one. Maybe an Epilogue if you want one. Please review! You know I love reviews!
Resurrecting the Shadow of Memories
A Shadow of Destiny Fanfic
Eike couldn't help it. He wanted to throw up at the thought of what Homunculus had done. He tried to compose himself, thinking that the djinn had been horribly betrayed by the people he had trusted and loved. And he had felt the tiniest bit guilty afterwards. Eike would have been more sickened if Homunculus had shown no emotion at all at what he had done. Even now he was certain the djinn was crying quietly, hiding his face in the young man's shirt. He felt so unbelievably sorry for Homunculus. No wonder he despised humans so much.
But Eike's body, which had stiffened when he realised that Homunculus had actually killed that man, Kamose, operated without his control and shuddered horribly.
Homunculus was indeed crying, and when he felt Eike's shudder shake his body too he wanted to die of shame. He wished that he could take it back. But there was no way. No time travelling could alter this twist of fate. It had happened. Homunculus could only pray that Eike loved him enough to forgive him.
He pulled away from the young man, not wanting to see his face but needing to at the same time. He feared Eike's disgust more than anything. Their faces were inches apart, and they regarded each other in silence for a few minutes.
Homunculus could see, despite Eike's best efforts to hide it, that he was horrified by the whole tale. It was clear from his furrowed brow and lips, pressed tightly together. His green eyes, beautiful green eyes, were glazed by horror and carried the faintest hint of tears that might fall at any moment. Strangely, the expression didn't frighten the djinn as much as he had expected, but the man's silence did. Why didn't he say something?
Homunculus' own face was tear-stained. Only the glistening wetness, however, gave away the fact he had been crying. His cheeks did not get coloured by blood, and his eyes were already red, but displayed none of the soreness that you usually saw when a human had been crying. And that was the point, Eike realised. Homunculus wasn't human, and never would be. But he felt, just as anyone else might. He showed emotion, at first only in small ways. Now he was displaying emotions in torrents. It had all been bottled up inside him for centuries. Centuries when he had suppressed everything he was now revealing. He felt sorrow, and guilt and love. If he felt these things, Eike could forgive anything.
With infinite care, the young man reached out and gently brushed Homunculus' tears away, smoothing them away with his thumbs, stroking the smooth surface of his skin. At his touch, which was a sign of forgiveness in itself, more tears flowed from the djinn's eyes. At the sight of the Eike blinked and felt, for the first time, the wetness behind his own eyelids. The tears didn't fall, but they were there nonetheless.
Homunculus, seeing them, could contain himself no longer, and lips parted slightly, he closed the distance between the two of them. He kissed the lids of Eike's eyes, which closed willingly when Eike realised what was happening. The young man could feel the wetness of the djinn's tears on his forehead. They trickled down and mixed with his own tears, which overflowed now.
Homunculus' kisses spread to the young man's forehead, his hairline and then his actually hair. Finally the djinn wrapped his arms around the young man's head and pulled him against his own chest. He wanted to hold Eike this time. He felt the young man's head rested on his delicate chest, and smiled as his arms circled his waist. Pulling one arm back, he stroked his blonde hair, breathing in the smell that rose from it. Fresh and comforting.
Neither had so much as uttered a syllable. There had been no sobs. Only quiet tears. But in the quiet that followed, words were need from one of them. Homunculus said the only thing that he had the strength to at that moment.
"I love you."
The arms around his waist tightened slightly, but only for an instant, and not enough to break him, or even hurt him. Eike moved his head to one side, so the djinn's body did not muffle his reply.
"I love you too."
The silence engulfed them again. But it was no longer fraught with tension. It was more peaceful now, with the pair locked in their own thoughts for a moment.
"I can hardly believe that you don't hate me," Homunculus said suddenly. He regretted saying it instantly. The comment seemed to leave a bad taste in the air. Fortunately, Eike seemed not to acknowledge this, or responded very well to it in any case.
"It's like you said about them betraying you. I hate what you did. I hate that you were driven to that. But no... I don't hate you."
Homunculus had to smile at this reply. He kissed Eike's forehead again. "I don't know what I would do without you anymore."
"Me neither. Even if I didn't love you... you completely screwed the way I look at things."
"Really?"
"Of course you did. With all your coffee or tea mumbo jumbo. I keep remembering that there's about a thousand other me's in alternate universes. Doing almost exactly what I'm doing now."
"Or perhaps not."
The sudden silence that descended was far too bitter for Either one's liking. "But /you're/ here with me," Eike said quickly, sensing the sadness in Homunculus' voice and hating the uncomfortable atmosphere that had fallen over them. "That's good." There was yet another pause. "So you have other Homunculus'? In other threads of time?"
Homunculus smiled. He knew Eike was trying to break the ice between them again. He appreciated the effort, but felt it was the wrong way to go about things. Still, he may as well answer the question.
"I am susceptible to the laws of time and space. Just like anyone else. But my time line does not branch out so much as yours would. Because I manipulate time into one destiny, it leaves little room for any alternate universes for me."
There was a pause.
"I'm not sure I understood that."
"Getting another headache are we?" Homunculus smiled when Eike turned his head upward to give him a mock glare. Then he sighed. "But this isn't the time for analogies, Eike. I have a very long time to explain such things to you. They can wait. My story cannot."
"There's more?"
"Not much. But I fell I should tell you more. About the time before I was summoned by Dr Wagner."
"Did you have many masters?"
"A few. But they are only important in showing how my attitude towards humans developed. My contempt and so on. I want to show you how I turned on your kind."
"'My kind'," Eike said, pained slightly. "Please don't say things like that."
"Why not? It's the truth. We are not the same. We never will be."
"But neither of us needs reminding."
"You're right," Homunculus said rather guiltily. "I suppose I just feel bitter about it."
"It's okay."
There was another silence, still slightly tense, perhaps from Homunculus' bitter comment, or maybe Eike's anticipation of the next and final part of Homunculus' story. Finally, Homunculus seemed to collect his senses together, and gave a sigh.
*******
Note: There will probably be two more chapters after this one. Maybe an Epilogue if you want one. Please review! You know I love reviews!
Resurrecting the Shadow of Memories
A Shadow of Destiny Fanfic
Eike couldn't help it. He wanted to throw up at the thought of what Homunculus had done. He tried to compose himself, thinking that the djinn had been horribly betrayed by the people he had trusted and loved. And he had felt the tiniest bit guilty afterwards. Eike would have been more sickened if Homunculus had shown no emotion at all at what he had done. Even now he was certain the djinn was crying quietly, hiding his face in the young man's shirt. He felt so unbelievably sorry for Homunculus. No wonder he despised humans so much.
But Eike's body, which had stiffened when he realised that Homunculus had actually killed that man, Kamose, operated without his control and shuddered horribly.
Homunculus was indeed crying, and when he felt Eike's shudder shake his body too he wanted to die of shame. He wished that he could take it back. But there was no way. No time travelling could alter this twist of fate. It had happened. Homunculus could only pray that Eike loved him enough to forgive him.
He pulled away from the young man, not wanting to see his face but needing to at the same time. He feared Eike's disgust more than anything. Their faces were inches apart, and they regarded each other in silence for a few minutes.
Homunculus could see, despite Eike's best efforts to hide it, that he was horrified by the whole tale. It was clear from his furrowed brow and lips, pressed tightly together. His green eyes, beautiful green eyes, were glazed by horror and carried the faintest hint of tears that might fall at any moment. Strangely, the expression didn't frighten the djinn as much as he had expected, but the man's silence did. Why didn't he say something?
Homunculus' own face was tear-stained. Only the glistening wetness, however, gave away the fact he had been crying. His cheeks did not get coloured by blood, and his eyes were already red, but displayed none of the soreness that you usually saw when a human had been crying. And that was the point, Eike realised. Homunculus wasn't human, and never would be. But he felt, just as anyone else might. He showed emotion, at first only in small ways. Now he was displaying emotions in torrents. It had all been bottled up inside him for centuries. Centuries when he had suppressed everything he was now revealing. He felt sorrow, and guilt and love. If he felt these things, Eike could forgive anything.
With infinite care, the young man reached out and gently brushed Homunculus' tears away, smoothing them away with his thumbs, stroking the smooth surface of his skin. At his touch, which was a sign of forgiveness in itself, more tears flowed from the djinn's eyes. At the sight of the Eike blinked and felt, for the first time, the wetness behind his own eyelids. The tears didn't fall, but they were there nonetheless.
Homunculus, seeing them, could contain himself no longer, and lips parted slightly, he closed the distance between the two of them. He kissed the lids of Eike's eyes, which closed willingly when Eike realised what was happening. The young man could feel the wetness of the djinn's tears on his forehead. They trickled down and mixed with his own tears, which overflowed now.
Homunculus' kisses spread to the young man's forehead, his hairline and then his actually hair. Finally the djinn wrapped his arms around the young man's head and pulled him against his own chest. He wanted to hold Eike this time. He felt the young man's head rested on his delicate chest, and smiled as his arms circled his waist. Pulling one arm back, he stroked his blonde hair, breathing in the smell that rose from it. Fresh and comforting.
Neither had so much as uttered a syllable. There had been no sobs. Only quiet tears. But in the quiet that followed, words were need from one of them. Homunculus said the only thing that he had the strength to at that moment.
"I love you."
The arms around his waist tightened slightly, but only for an instant, and not enough to break him, or even hurt him. Eike moved his head to one side, so the djinn's body did not muffle his reply.
"I love you too."
The silence engulfed them again. But it was no longer fraught with tension. It was more peaceful now, with the pair locked in their own thoughts for a moment.
"I can hardly believe that you don't hate me," Homunculus said suddenly. He regretted saying it instantly. The comment seemed to leave a bad taste in the air. Fortunately, Eike seemed not to acknowledge this, or responded very well to it in any case.
"It's like you said about them betraying you. I hate what you did. I hate that you were driven to that. But no... I don't hate you."
Homunculus had to smile at this reply. He kissed Eike's forehead again. "I don't know what I would do without you anymore."
"Me neither. Even if I didn't love you... you completely screwed the way I look at things."
"Really?"
"Of course you did. With all your coffee or tea mumbo jumbo. I keep remembering that there's about a thousand other me's in alternate universes. Doing almost exactly what I'm doing now."
"Or perhaps not."
The sudden silence that descended was far too bitter for Either one's liking. "But /you're/ here with me," Eike said quickly, sensing the sadness in Homunculus' voice and hating the uncomfortable atmosphere that had fallen over them. "That's good." There was yet another pause. "So you have other Homunculus'? In other threads of time?"
Homunculus smiled. He knew Eike was trying to break the ice between them again. He appreciated the effort, but felt it was the wrong way to go about things. Still, he may as well answer the question.
"I am susceptible to the laws of time and space. Just like anyone else. But my time line does not branch out so much as yours would. Because I manipulate time into one destiny, it leaves little room for any alternate universes for me."
There was a pause.
"I'm not sure I understood that."
"Getting another headache are we?" Homunculus smiled when Eike turned his head upward to give him a mock glare. Then he sighed. "But this isn't the time for analogies, Eike. I have a very long time to explain such things to you. They can wait. My story cannot."
"There's more?"
"Not much. But I fell I should tell you more. About the time before I was summoned by Dr Wagner."
"Did you have many masters?"
"A few. But they are only important in showing how my attitude towards humans developed. My contempt and so on. I want to show you how I turned on your kind."
"'My kind'," Eike said, pained slightly. "Please don't say things like that."
"Why not? It's the truth. We are not the same. We never will be."
"But neither of us needs reminding."
"You're right," Homunculus said rather guiltily. "I suppose I just feel bitter about it."
"It's okay."
There was another silence, still slightly tense, perhaps from Homunculus' bitter comment, or maybe Eike's anticipation of the next and final part of Homunculus' story. Finally, Homunculus seemed to collect his senses together, and gave a sigh.
*******