Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine.
Apologies: *gets down on her hands and knees* Please don't hurl abuse or anything at me. I know it's been a while since I updated. I didn't realise it was three months until I got Carley's review in my e-mail. So I'm really sorry for the delay. and hope you'll accept this chapter while you wait for a bigger update. This may take longer to come. though not three months, I promise. Again. really sorry.
Resurrecting the Shadow of Memories
Eike hated these long pauses between the various parts of Homunculus' life story. He knew the djinn was giving him the opportunity to either walk out or simply voice an opinion. He hated the feeling of having to fill these silences when all that he needed to say had already been said long before now. Eike didn't care what was revealed to him, just so long as Homunculus was honest with him about everything. What kind of relationship would they have if they weren't honest with each other?
Eike opened his eyes. He had shut them not because he was tired but so he could see what was being described to him more clearly. He saw the story of Homunculus in is imagination, which seemed to work amazingly well. Maybe it was the way Homunculus told his story. Eike could see each event unfold as though he had actually been there to witness it for himself. Perhaps Homunculus had done that. to help him see and understand better.
The young man raised his head slightly, confused for a moment. The room seemed lighter than it had before. The light came from the drawn curtains, the light fabric not providing much of a shield against the first light of dawn that was creeping on them. Eike had completely lost track of time, and because he felt it would somehow insult Homunculus to look at his wristwatch, he could only guess that there was a few hours until he would have to leave again and start a new day of work back at the library. He hated the thought. He didn't want to leave and have the story broken so near the end. He could sense there was still more to come.
"Homunculus." he began.
"I know," said the soft voice of the djinn from just above his head. "Dawn. I suppose you will want to sleep if you must go to work."
Eike didn't miss the slightly hurt tone in the djinn's voice.
"I have to go. You know I do," he said. He felt Homunculus nod slightly, his smooth cheek rubbing against Eike's forehead. Eike swallowed and added, with all the sincerity in the world: "I don't want to go but."
He felt another nod. Then, in a slightly more reasonable voice, heard Homunculus say, "Sleep then, Eike. You have a few hours. I will wake you".
Now Eike nodded and found himself giving an almost embarrassingly huge yawn. He felt the djinn's amusement fill the room, changing the atmosphere around them from tense to relaxed. It was wonderful how the atmosphere seemed to fit the djinn's mood. It could have it's drawbacks of course, but sometimes it was simply like nothing in the world could ever make things better than they were. Considering what they had spoken of tonight, Eike had to give Homunculus credit for being able to lighten the mood to any degree.
"Okay," Eike said, suddenly more sleepy than he imagined he could become in the space of a few seconds. He stayed awake just long enough to tilt his head upwards and place a clumsy but well-meant kiss on the djinn's smiling mouth, and then sank into blissful sleep.
Homunculus only let his smile fade when he was certain the young man was fully asleep. He felt Eike's even breathing easily since their bodies were unbelievably close, Homunculus' arms wrapped around Eike's neck, who had wrapped his own arms around the djinn's delicate waist and rested his head on his chest. Homunculus had never believed that he would ever get this close to another being. A month or so ago the idea would have either sent him into fits of hysterical laughter or into disgusted rage.
And yet here he was, spilling his soul to this mortal man lying in his arms.
Homunculus considered this phrase and winced at the irony of it. He didn't even know if he had a soul to expose. Feelings. he had those. but feelings didn't indicate the presence of a soul did they?
But the other irony of the phrase was his use of the word 'mortal' to describe the young man in his arms. Eike was still blissfully unaware of his true identity and Homunculus was glad that he had been spared, for the time being, the momentous task of revealing that truth.
But only for the time being. Tomorrow, when he returned from the library, Eike would probably be brimming with eagerness for him to finish the story of his life, perhaps even answer a few further questions. Homunculus barely suppressed a shudder at the thought of this. Eike had accepted the truth about Homunculus, but would he accept the truth about himself and what Homunculus had done to him? It was easier to forgive someone who had done terrible things to other people. When you were on the receiving end of these terrible things forgiveness was not usually something most humans considered. They considered revenge and other such things.
And of course, the perfect revenge right now would be for Eike to simply walk out on Homunculus. Or seal him back into the Philosopher's Stone again, and then destroy the stone, ensuring no one would ever have the opportunity to free the djinn again.
Homunculus was not surprised that now it was not the thought of being imprisoned again that filled him with dread. It was the thought of losing Eike. How could he risk losing the young man he loved so dearly? He could make excuses. Eike had made a wish, though he hadn't realised it, that he and Homunculus could be together forever. Well. Eike had immortality anyway, so Homunculus had not needed to grant that particular part of the wish. But for them to be together, now that was something the djinn was only too happy to ensure would happen. Homunculus could easily use that wish to explain circumstances to Eike in the future, when he asked more questions. But somehow, the nagging sense of dishonesty would remain with the djinn in a way that it never had before. The knowledge that that wish was not the one which had given Eike his immortality.
Homunculus sighed. These human relationships were complicated things. He constantly found himself facing dilemmas of conscience, where he didn't know whether to tell the truth was the best thing or not.
Of course, Eike had been very forgiving up until now, and he had asked for the whole truth about Homunculus. The sly manipulative part of the djinn rose to this realisation. Eike had asked for no information about himself. Only about Homunculus. Perhaps the subject could be skilfully avoided.
Homunculus shook his head. No. He wasn't like that anymore. He had almost lost Eike by not telling him what he wanted, and probably needed, to hear. He didn't dare risk that again. He closed his gleaming red eyes and gave a resolute nod to the world in general.
Yes. He would tell Eike. It was the right thing to do.
In the gradually lightening room, Homunculus amused snort broke the silence as an amused smile played over the djinn's mouth.
//'The right thing to do'? If a me from an alternate reality could see me now.// he thought.
*******
Eike's alarm clock seemed louder today than it had ever done in the past. In fact. it was almost painfully loud. Eike actually gave a yell at the sound of it and clamped his hands over his ears. He turned and made a grab for the infernal thing, which should have been on his bedside table, and found himself reaching for empty air.
Turning around, he saw Homunculus, sitting on the edge of the bed calmly, his body twisted round so the young man could see his face, and what he held in his hands. The djinn switched off the alarm clock with a satisfied smile, which he turned on Eike next.
"Good morning, Eike".
The sound of his voice was unclear at first, though this was probably due to the ringing in Eike's head. Eike glared at him.
"Remind me never to ask you to wake me up again," he said, sourly before getting up and stretching.
"Well I wouldn't want you to be late for work now, would I?"
Eike turned and fixed Homunculus with a puzzled look. The djinn seemed to be back to his normal self after last night, and this bothered the young man. He still had the feeling that there was more to Homunculus' background story, and he didn't want to have to wait for another opportunity to raise the subject without risking a fight. An opportunity like that might never come for all he knew.
He risked asking; "What makes /you/ so cheery this morning?"
Homunculus shrugged and stood up. "Perhaps finally getting some things out in the open." This reply surprised Eike, and worried him just a little. He suspected that Homunculus was, once again, hiding something, and made no attempt to hide this suspicion in his expression. Homunculus, noticing the look he was being given, smiled.
"I know what you are thinking, Eike. I am perfectly aware that things are not back to normal, as they were yesterday." Eike smiled at Homunculus' deliberate and very ironic use of the word 'normal'. "There /is/ more I need to tell you. But I know I must tell you and I'm trying to make things as comfortable as possible. It is hard to have any kind of relationship when the only communication is tense and worried. I would not like that to happen."
Eike could see the logic behind this. He didn't want Homunculus to be cold with him, not after he had managed to open up to him. So he nodded. "I wouldn't want that either. It just seemed. like you were pretending last night never happened."
Homunculus shook his head, his eyes half closed. "No. I could never pretend it didn't happen. And I don't want to know. While you slept. I thought about a few things. things that you need to know perhaps for my sake as well as yours."
"Having attacks of conscience now, are you?" Eike asked, instantly hoping the djinn would take the question as a joke, as he had intended it to be. Homunculus grimaced slightly, though there was a trace of humour in his eyes still.
"Yes. But I think I am dealing with them as best I can."
"I can't speak from experience or anything. but I think you're doing great."
"Thank you, Eike." A proper smile formed now at the compliment. "But you cannot afford to spend all day chatting away to me, can you?"
"No," Eike said, looking upset that this was the case, as he was.
Homunculus tilted his head to one side, smiling at the look on the young man's face. "I will still be here when you return, Eike. I don't intend to go anywhere."
"I know. I just. I don't want to leave you if you're upset."
Homunculus rolled his eyes. "If you're trying to refer to /that/ incident again, please don't. That is in the past. Besides which, I am not upset. Merely resolved. And," here Homunculus raised a finger, "I am not in as fragile a state of mind as I was then."
"I love you," Eike said before he could stop himself. His sentimentality was rewarded with another roll of the red eyes.
"Yes, yes, Eike, I am quite aware of it. And I love you also. But you may not be so well disposed towards me if you lose your job on my account."
Finally taking the hint, and just barely satisfied with the djinn's answer, Eike went to a cupboard to pick up his jacket. When he turned, Homunculus had gone, and he panicked for a moment. Then, knowing the djinn would not have gone far, he went downstairs, hoping to find him. He was standing by the door, which was open, waiting for Eike to leave. He had an apple in his hand and was smirking like a Cheshire cat. Handing him the apple, he patted the young human on the head. "Be a good boy," he remarked, teasing him.
"I'll miss you too," Eike said sarcastically. Bending down he gave Homunculus a kiss, smiling against the djinns mouth, knowing he was standing on tip-toes to close the distance between them. Then he turned and left, hearing the door shut behind him with a resounding bang.
"Good morning, Eike Kusch," he muttered as he walked. "This is your life."
Apologies: *gets down on her hands and knees* Please don't hurl abuse or anything at me. I know it's been a while since I updated. I didn't realise it was three months until I got Carley's review in my e-mail. So I'm really sorry for the delay. and hope you'll accept this chapter while you wait for a bigger update. This may take longer to come. though not three months, I promise. Again. really sorry.
Resurrecting the Shadow of Memories
Eike hated these long pauses between the various parts of Homunculus' life story. He knew the djinn was giving him the opportunity to either walk out or simply voice an opinion. He hated the feeling of having to fill these silences when all that he needed to say had already been said long before now. Eike didn't care what was revealed to him, just so long as Homunculus was honest with him about everything. What kind of relationship would they have if they weren't honest with each other?
Eike opened his eyes. He had shut them not because he was tired but so he could see what was being described to him more clearly. He saw the story of Homunculus in is imagination, which seemed to work amazingly well. Maybe it was the way Homunculus told his story. Eike could see each event unfold as though he had actually been there to witness it for himself. Perhaps Homunculus had done that. to help him see and understand better.
The young man raised his head slightly, confused for a moment. The room seemed lighter than it had before. The light came from the drawn curtains, the light fabric not providing much of a shield against the first light of dawn that was creeping on them. Eike had completely lost track of time, and because he felt it would somehow insult Homunculus to look at his wristwatch, he could only guess that there was a few hours until he would have to leave again and start a new day of work back at the library. He hated the thought. He didn't want to leave and have the story broken so near the end. He could sense there was still more to come.
"Homunculus." he began.
"I know," said the soft voice of the djinn from just above his head. "Dawn. I suppose you will want to sleep if you must go to work."
Eike didn't miss the slightly hurt tone in the djinn's voice.
"I have to go. You know I do," he said. He felt Homunculus nod slightly, his smooth cheek rubbing against Eike's forehead. Eike swallowed and added, with all the sincerity in the world: "I don't want to go but."
He felt another nod. Then, in a slightly more reasonable voice, heard Homunculus say, "Sleep then, Eike. You have a few hours. I will wake you".
Now Eike nodded and found himself giving an almost embarrassingly huge yawn. He felt the djinn's amusement fill the room, changing the atmosphere around them from tense to relaxed. It was wonderful how the atmosphere seemed to fit the djinn's mood. It could have it's drawbacks of course, but sometimes it was simply like nothing in the world could ever make things better than they were. Considering what they had spoken of tonight, Eike had to give Homunculus credit for being able to lighten the mood to any degree.
"Okay," Eike said, suddenly more sleepy than he imagined he could become in the space of a few seconds. He stayed awake just long enough to tilt his head upwards and place a clumsy but well-meant kiss on the djinn's smiling mouth, and then sank into blissful sleep.
Homunculus only let his smile fade when he was certain the young man was fully asleep. He felt Eike's even breathing easily since their bodies were unbelievably close, Homunculus' arms wrapped around Eike's neck, who had wrapped his own arms around the djinn's delicate waist and rested his head on his chest. Homunculus had never believed that he would ever get this close to another being. A month or so ago the idea would have either sent him into fits of hysterical laughter or into disgusted rage.
And yet here he was, spilling his soul to this mortal man lying in his arms.
Homunculus considered this phrase and winced at the irony of it. He didn't even know if he had a soul to expose. Feelings. he had those. but feelings didn't indicate the presence of a soul did they?
But the other irony of the phrase was his use of the word 'mortal' to describe the young man in his arms. Eike was still blissfully unaware of his true identity and Homunculus was glad that he had been spared, for the time being, the momentous task of revealing that truth.
But only for the time being. Tomorrow, when he returned from the library, Eike would probably be brimming with eagerness for him to finish the story of his life, perhaps even answer a few further questions. Homunculus barely suppressed a shudder at the thought of this. Eike had accepted the truth about Homunculus, but would he accept the truth about himself and what Homunculus had done to him? It was easier to forgive someone who had done terrible things to other people. When you were on the receiving end of these terrible things forgiveness was not usually something most humans considered. They considered revenge and other such things.
And of course, the perfect revenge right now would be for Eike to simply walk out on Homunculus. Or seal him back into the Philosopher's Stone again, and then destroy the stone, ensuring no one would ever have the opportunity to free the djinn again.
Homunculus was not surprised that now it was not the thought of being imprisoned again that filled him with dread. It was the thought of losing Eike. How could he risk losing the young man he loved so dearly? He could make excuses. Eike had made a wish, though he hadn't realised it, that he and Homunculus could be together forever. Well. Eike had immortality anyway, so Homunculus had not needed to grant that particular part of the wish. But for them to be together, now that was something the djinn was only too happy to ensure would happen. Homunculus could easily use that wish to explain circumstances to Eike in the future, when he asked more questions. But somehow, the nagging sense of dishonesty would remain with the djinn in a way that it never had before. The knowledge that that wish was not the one which had given Eike his immortality.
Homunculus sighed. These human relationships were complicated things. He constantly found himself facing dilemmas of conscience, where he didn't know whether to tell the truth was the best thing or not.
Of course, Eike had been very forgiving up until now, and he had asked for the whole truth about Homunculus. The sly manipulative part of the djinn rose to this realisation. Eike had asked for no information about himself. Only about Homunculus. Perhaps the subject could be skilfully avoided.
Homunculus shook his head. No. He wasn't like that anymore. He had almost lost Eike by not telling him what he wanted, and probably needed, to hear. He didn't dare risk that again. He closed his gleaming red eyes and gave a resolute nod to the world in general.
Yes. He would tell Eike. It was the right thing to do.
In the gradually lightening room, Homunculus amused snort broke the silence as an amused smile played over the djinn's mouth.
//'The right thing to do'? If a me from an alternate reality could see me now.// he thought.
*******
Eike's alarm clock seemed louder today than it had ever done in the past. In fact. it was almost painfully loud. Eike actually gave a yell at the sound of it and clamped his hands over his ears. He turned and made a grab for the infernal thing, which should have been on his bedside table, and found himself reaching for empty air.
Turning around, he saw Homunculus, sitting on the edge of the bed calmly, his body twisted round so the young man could see his face, and what he held in his hands. The djinn switched off the alarm clock with a satisfied smile, which he turned on Eike next.
"Good morning, Eike".
The sound of his voice was unclear at first, though this was probably due to the ringing in Eike's head. Eike glared at him.
"Remind me never to ask you to wake me up again," he said, sourly before getting up and stretching.
"Well I wouldn't want you to be late for work now, would I?"
Eike turned and fixed Homunculus with a puzzled look. The djinn seemed to be back to his normal self after last night, and this bothered the young man. He still had the feeling that there was more to Homunculus' background story, and he didn't want to have to wait for another opportunity to raise the subject without risking a fight. An opportunity like that might never come for all he knew.
He risked asking; "What makes /you/ so cheery this morning?"
Homunculus shrugged and stood up. "Perhaps finally getting some things out in the open." This reply surprised Eike, and worried him just a little. He suspected that Homunculus was, once again, hiding something, and made no attempt to hide this suspicion in his expression. Homunculus, noticing the look he was being given, smiled.
"I know what you are thinking, Eike. I am perfectly aware that things are not back to normal, as they were yesterday." Eike smiled at Homunculus' deliberate and very ironic use of the word 'normal'. "There /is/ more I need to tell you. But I know I must tell you and I'm trying to make things as comfortable as possible. It is hard to have any kind of relationship when the only communication is tense and worried. I would not like that to happen."
Eike could see the logic behind this. He didn't want Homunculus to be cold with him, not after he had managed to open up to him. So he nodded. "I wouldn't want that either. It just seemed. like you were pretending last night never happened."
Homunculus shook his head, his eyes half closed. "No. I could never pretend it didn't happen. And I don't want to know. While you slept. I thought about a few things. things that you need to know perhaps for my sake as well as yours."
"Having attacks of conscience now, are you?" Eike asked, instantly hoping the djinn would take the question as a joke, as he had intended it to be. Homunculus grimaced slightly, though there was a trace of humour in his eyes still.
"Yes. But I think I am dealing with them as best I can."
"I can't speak from experience or anything. but I think you're doing great."
"Thank you, Eike." A proper smile formed now at the compliment. "But you cannot afford to spend all day chatting away to me, can you?"
"No," Eike said, looking upset that this was the case, as he was.
Homunculus tilted his head to one side, smiling at the look on the young man's face. "I will still be here when you return, Eike. I don't intend to go anywhere."
"I know. I just. I don't want to leave you if you're upset."
Homunculus rolled his eyes. "If you're trying to refer to /that/ incident again, please don't. That is in the past. Besides which, I am not upset. Merely resolved. And," here Homunculus raised a finger, "I am not in as fragile a state of mind as I was then."
"I love you," Eike said before he could stop himself. His sentimentality was rewarded with another roll of the red eyes.
"Yes, yes, Eike, I am quite aware of it. And I love you also. But you may not be so well disposed towards me if you lose your job on my account."
Finally taking the hint, and just barely satisfied with the djinn's answer, Eike went to a cupboard to pick up his jacket. When he turned, Homunculus had gone, and he panicked for a moment. Then, knowing the djinn would not have gone far, he went downstairs, hoping to find him. He was standing by the door, which was open, waiting for Eike to leave. He had an apple in his hand and was smirking like a Cheshire cat. Handing him the apple, he patted the young human on the head. "Be a good boy," he remarked, teasing him.
"I'll miss you too," Eike said sarcastically. Bending down he gave Homunculus a kiss, smiling against the djinns mouth, knowing he was standing on tip-toes to close the distance between them. Then he turned and left, hearing the door shut behind him with a resounding bang.
"Good morning, Eike Kusch," he muttered as he walked. "This is your life."