iii. To Foster for Another
The child's golden hair glowed even in the dim light of the study. She slept as silently as her mother did. Once upon a time, he added to himself after a quick glance to the far corner of the room confirmed his suspicions. Bruce leaned over the baby and took her in his arms. The little girl sought the comfortable curve of his body as she settled at once to the familiar yet unfamiliar form of a man carrying her. He idly wondered how often Lex Luthor took his daughter in his arms.
Chloe sat still wrapped up in her world of words and glowing answers. He stopped a few feet away from her and waited to be noticed. Her eyes were glued to the screen in a way he had never seen them before. Bruce reminded himself that the year he was with her, she had been a different woman.
She had been immortalized in his brain all these years like an Impressionist model, lights playing on shadows that hid behind the angles of her jaw, her cheeks, her nose as certainly as leaves of sun-dappled trees.
When he closed his eyes, he could still see the multimedia collage at the back of his eyelids, of news clips and paparazzi videos catching every furtive movement, every private appearance. Always she had been there, perfectly coiffed, her lips curved into the perfect smile, or laughing and beaming at her husband or her baby. Always she had there, flawless and out of reach.
Bruce Wayne adored every glimpse of the woman. But he had loved, and never stopped loving, the sad-eyed stranger who bled inside. He wondered if there was a certain sickness that would give a name to what he had become. Chloe, at this moment when she was intent on vengeance and still grieving inside, was more beautiful to him than all the times he had seen her content his the arms of another man. Was it only because that was the woman he had fallen in love with? Was it only that she had never been close enough to touch when she was complete? Why did he have Chloe Sullivan only when she was incapable of a smile?
"Still up."
Her eyes flickered to the man standing in front of her, intending to merely acknowledge his presence. Her eyes were captured by the sight of Brianna in the arms of a man who owned part of her heart. He threatened all the defenses that she prized. She forced her gaze away from that spot on his neck where Brianna had buried her nose.
"Do you know what your husband had been up to the last year?"
He saw her swallow visibly, her eyes lose focus from the screen. The interest for whatever article was up on her browser had long gone, at the same time that she realized he was present in the room. The forced disinterest that she had injected in her demeanor at the sight of her daughter easily curving into Bruce's body the way she used to with her own father evaporated almost imperceptibly.
She had never been one to allow herself to be backed into a corner. He had never pushed her in any way then. It did not mean that he would not start now. "Do you, Mrs Luthor?"
"Yes," she bit out.
"And you stayed?" his voice rumbled. Brianna stirred in his arms. Before she could answer, Bruce shushed her and mumbled soft incomprehensible words while rubbing warm circles on the girl's back. Brianna sighed softly and tightened her arms around Bruce's neck, in her sleep pretending that she was not fatherless. Chloe's eyes softened for a moment, wanting to take her daughter. "I'll be right back."
A few minutes later when he returned, the laptop was closed on the desk. The small light was still on, so he knew that she had not given up her task for the night. "Where did you put her?"
"In the room I had aired for you." She nodded her thanks. "You knew, but you did not leave."
"You don't understand, Bruce. When he was with Brianna, he was never different. He was beyond comparison. With us, he was the Lex I loved. He adored me."
"He showed you a different man."
"Will it give you peace to know that I will kill the Batman not for taking away Lex Luthor but for taking away a husband and a father? That should be fair enough, Bruce."
"You're purposely blinding yourself then."
Her eyes glittered with a strength she had been devoid of since leaving Kansas. "I will not rest until the man responsible for his death is as cold as Lex." And she broke her own heart with each word. Chloe squeezed his eyes tightly shut and she grabbed at the edge of the table, gripping the wood. A gasp escaped from her lips. The thought of his warm, pliant body, which laid beside hers for years, as cold as the snow that kissed her tears away when she hid from pain the first time she went to Gotham City, contracted her heart with an icy fist. Her grip slipped from the wood and she collapsed on her elbows, releasing a keening cry. She found herself helped into the chair by invisible hands. Her cheeks trembled and her eyes burned.
"He's dead," a voice overhead stated firmly. It was Bruce's voice; Bruce's hands ushered her to her seat. "You know that. You know he's dead."
Chloe turned her head aside in a futile attempt to banish the images of a beautiful man's decay. No matter the direction, the picture remained. She moaned. "Make it stop!"
He knew that she did not even see him. With everything she saw under those closed eyes, she broke. "Then open your eyes," he commanded. "Open your eyes, Chloe." She did, to meet pools of such dark blue. "Hold my gaze. Don't let go."
Neither blinked nor looked away. He was well-versed with the horrific images in her mind right at that moment. He had had his share of those pictures as a young kid. Bruce forced her attention to him.
"You knew that he was funding experiments that caused children to sicken and die within days, Chloe. You stayed beside him. Does that make you as much of a murderer as Lex, Mrs Luthor?"
Chloe snapped out of the enforced trance. She tore her arms away from his grip and stood up. "You have no call to say that!" She took a deep breath and warded him away when he stepped towards her. "Lex," she sobbed. "Bri. They were my life, Bruce. Lex committed these crimes outside my home. Let him be tried behind me."
"What happened to you?"
She released a soft laugh together with the sob. "You never really knew me," she reminded him.
"I loved you. I can't not have known you." His words were always quiet. Why then were they always stronger?
"Bruce, you are too old to be naïve." She smiled sadly. "I loved my husband beyond," her breath caught. "I loved Lex," Chloe stated simply. "And there you stand telling me atrocities that another man did. Not my Lex. I will maintain that. Now tell me if to you, I really knew him."
"Chloe-"
"I will kill the Batman."
"Is that more important than your daughter?"
"I need to do this, Bruce. I need this closure. I cannot be the mother she needs me to be until I put this behind me. My husband's killer has to die."
It was safe to step towards her now. Bruce walked slowly and stopped the distance of an arm away. "And in the meantime you put Brianna on hold."
"Never in my heart though."
"You did not come to me to kill the Batman for you," he said as it dawned on him. "You came to me for Brianna, to be with her while you pursued this on your own."
"Did you really expect me to sit in your Gothic mansion while you hunted the night for the villain?"
He smiled briefly. "You did say I am naïve."
"I'm a Luthor, Bruce. I fight my own battles."
"So you do," he murmured. "All these years and you chose me."
"I could think of no one who had as much love to give as you, Bruce."
Bruce walked over to the laptop and turned it off. "I had a glimpse once, of a woman who could. But she flew to Kansas and gave all her love away."
"Not all. Never all."
"Good. Now go to your room. The dead can wait. You have a living beauty lonely for her mom."
tbc
The child's golden hair glowed even in the dim light of the study. She slept as silently as her mother did. Once upon a time, he added to himself after a quick glance to the far corner of the room confirmed his suspicions. Bruce leaned over the baby and took her in his arms. The little girl sought the comfortable curve of his body as she settled at once to the familiar yet unfamiliar form of a man carrying her. He idly wondered how often Lex Luthor took his daughter in his arms.
Chloe sat still wrapped up in her world of words and glowing answers. He stopped a few feet away from her and waited to be noticed. Her eyes were glued to the screen in a way he had never seen them before. Bruce reminded himself that the year he was with her, she had been a different woman.
She had been immortalized in his brain all these years like an Impressionist model, lights playing on shadows that hid behind the angles of her jaw, her cheeks, her nose as certainly as leaves of sun-dappled trees.
When he closed his eyes, he could still see the multimedia collage at the back of his eyelids, of news clips and paparazzi videos catching every furtive movement, every private appearance. Always she had been there, perfectly coiffed, her lips curved into the perfect smile, or laughing and beaming at her husband or her baby. Always she had there, flawless and out of reach.
Bruce Wayne adored every glimpse of the woman. But he had loved, and never stopped loving, the sad-eyed stranger who bled inside. He wondered if there was a certain sickness that would give a name to what he had become. Chloe, at this moment when she was intent on vengeance and still grieving inside, was more beautiful to him than all the times he had seen her content his the arms of another man. Was it only because that was the woman he had fallen in love with? Was it only that she had never been close enough to touch when she was complete? Why did he have Chloe Sullivan only when she was incapable of a smile?
"Still up."
Her eyes flickered to the man standing in front of her, intending to merely acknowledge his presence. Her eyes were captured by the sight of Brianna in the arms of a man who owned part of her heart. He threatened all the defenses that she prized. She forced her gaze away from that spot on his neck where Brianna had buried her nose.
"Do you know what your husband had been up to the last year?"
He saw her swallow visibly, her eyes lose focus from the screen. The interest for whatever article was up on her browser had long gone, at the same time that she realized he was present in the room. The forced disinterest that she had injected in her demeanor at the sight of her daughter easily curving into Bruce's body the way she used to with her own father evaporated almost imperceptibly.
She had never been one to allow herself to be backed into a corner. He had never pushed her in any way then. It did not mean that he would not start now. "Do you, Mrs Luthor?"
"Yes," she bit out.
"And you stayed?" his voice rumbled. Brianna stirred in his arms. Before she could answer, Bruce shushed her and mumbled soft incomprehensible words while rubbing warm circles on the girl's back. Brianna sighed softly and tightened her arms around Bruce's neck, in her sleep pretending that she was not fatherless. Chloe's eyes softened for a moment, wanting to take her daughter. "I'll be right back."
A few minutes later when he returned, the laptop was closed on the desk. The small light was still on, so he knew that she had not given up her task for the night. "Where did you put her?"
"In the room I had aired for you." She nodded her thanks. "You knew, but you did not leave."
"You don't understand, Bruce. When he was with Brianna, he was never different. He was beyond comparison. With us, he was the Lex I loved. He adored me."
"He showed you a different man."
"Will it give you peace to know that I will kill the Batman not for taking away Lex Luthor but for taking away a husband and a father? That should be fair enough, Bruce."
"You're purposely blinding yourself then."
Her eyes glittered with a strength she had been devoid of since leaving Kansas. "I will not rest until the man responsible for his death is as cold as Lex." And she broke her own heart with each word. Chloe squeezed his eyes tightly shut and she grabbed at the edge of the table, gripping the wood. A gasp escaped from her lips. The thought of his warm, pliant body, which laid beside hers for years, as cold as the snow that kissed her tears away when she hid from pain the first time she went to Gotham City, contracted her heart with an icy fist. Her grip slipped from the wood and she collapsed on her elbows, releasing a keening cry. She found herself helped into the chair by invisible hands. Her cheeks trembled and her eyes burned.
"He's dead," a voice overhead stated firmly. It was Bruce's voice; Bruce's hands ushered her to her seat. "You know that. You know he's dead."
Chloe turned her head aside in a futile attempt to banish the images of a beautiful man's decay. No matter the direction, the picture remained. She moaned. "Make it stop!"
He knew that she did not even see him. With everything she saw under those closed eyes, she broke. "Then open your eyes," he commanded. "Open your eyes, Chloe." She did, to meet pools of such dark blue. "Hold my gaze. Don't let go."
Neither blinked nor looked away. He was well-versed with the horrific images in her mind right at that moment. He had had his share of those pictures as a young kid. Bruce forced her attention to him.
"You knew that he was funding experiments that caused children to sicken and die within days, Chloe. You stayed beside him. Does that make you as much of a murderer as Lex, Mrs Luthor?"
Chloe snapped out of the enforced trance. She tore her arms away from his grip and stood up. "You have no call to say that!" She took a deep breath and warded him away when he stepped towards her. "Lex," she sobbed. "Bri. They were my life, Bruce. Lex committed these crimes outside my home. Let him be tried behind me."
"What happened to you?"
She released a soft laugh together with the sob. "You never really knew me," she reminded him.
"I loved you. I can't not have known you." His words were always quiet. Why then were they always stronger?
"Bruce, you are too old to be naïve." She smiled sadly. "I loved my husband beyond," her breath caught. "I loved Lex," Chloe stated simply. "And there you stand telling me atrocities that another man did. Not my Lex. I will maintain that. Now tell me if to you, I really knew him."
"Chloe-"
"I will kill the Batman."
"Is that more important than your daughter?"
"I need to do this, Bruce. I need this closure. I cannot be the mother she needs me to be until I put this behind me. My husband's killer has to die."
It was safe to step towards her now. Bruce walked slowly and stopped the distance of an arm away. "And in the meantime you put Brianna on hold."
"Never in my heart though."
"You did not come to me to kill the Batman for you," he said as it dawned on him. "You came to me for Brianna, to be with her while you pursued this on your own."
"Did you really expect me to sit in your Gothic mansion while you hunted the night for the villain?"
He smiled briefly. "You did say I am naïve."
"I'm a Luthor, Bruce. I fight my own battles."
"So you do," he murmured. "All these years and you chose me."
"I could think of no one who had as much love to give as you, Bruce."
Bruce walked over to the laptop and turned it off. "I had a glimpse once, of a woman who could. But she flew to Kansas and gave all her love away."
"Not all. Never all."
"Good. Now go to your room. The dead can wait. You have a living beauty lonely for her mom."
tbc