Title: Getting Over It
Author: The Button Master
Rating: PG
Summary: Once everyone's series are over, where do they end up? Living under one roof, of course!
Transmission: ONE
Chapter: ONE
THE INTRODUCTION (You MIGHT want to read this....):
The Cast:
KOJIRO: A wolf with an attitude problem. 6'6", mean, scary, and not patience or respect. Refuses to cut his hair. He doesn't talk,
but he yells like there's no tomorrow. Kojiro is rather anti-social, and as almost anything can make him angry, everyone prefers
to just stay out of his way as much as possible.
MR. K (a.k.a., "CLAUDE K. WINCHESTER"): He is the self-proclaimed voice of reason. However, he is unpredictable and a bit
violent--unintentionally. He likes guns--a lot. No one ever knows when he'll lose his temper and pull a gun on them, though
he has yet to actually hurt anyone in the household.
SIRIUS BLACK: He was once a convict escaped from Azkaban, on the run. He moved in when his Author decided to kill him off.
Sirius is quick to anger if someone gets on his nerves, but has only highest respect for Ookami, who lets him stay without rent....
as long as he keeps her spoon collection nice and shiny.
OOKAMI: Not the Author, Ookami; Ookami is a 632-year-old Wolf Spirit, though no one would ever be able to tell. Though she is
wise beyond her years, she is one of the most spontaneous members of the house, and its founder. Ookami like to pretend that she's
Human, though she makes some pretty bad mistakes, mainly in the area of fashion. She is good-natured, but the Fan Appreciation Bat is
her notorious weapon of choice.
HECTOR HOUDINI: Where and when Hector came from is a mystery. Though Ookami insists that he is well over 280 years old, he acts like
a four-year-old on a constant caffeine high. Hector IS the most spontaneous and crazy one in the house, and is noted for
reeking constant havoc and causing mind-blowing destruction. Despite this, Ookami and Hector remain friends, and she insists
that he continue to stay.
DRACO MALFOY: Draco Malfoy--half human, half Bouncing Ferret. He is known for occasionally turning into a little white ferret with
little or no warning. He has a mean streak and a temper problem, but he is viewed by most of the household as just a kid, and is
rarely paid much attention. He enjoys pulling practical jokes and harmful pranks on others, though they are quite unaware of it.
VASH THE STAMPEDE: A notorious gunman from the planet Gunsmoke. No one really minds the $$60,000,000,000 bounty on his
head, as long as he cooks and helps out with the laundry. Vash is the friendliest and warm-and-fuzzy one in the house, and gets
along great with Mr. K. He is the self-proclaimed Master of Donuts, and frequently reminds everyone of this in a strange fashion.
***
(\\A Quick Note from THE AUTHOR:
First of all, I don't own any of these people except for Hector Houdini and Ookami. All of the other belong to the people
who they belong to.
Secondly, you need to understand the difference between MYSELF and the character Ookami. We share a name, and it IS
true that I based the character on myself, but other than that, it's not me. I CAN'T put myself in the story--you'll see why later on.
Last of all, if you have any ideas for stories/scenarios that I can include in upcoming additions of Getting Over It, feel
free to email me:
Haru@authors.zzn.com
(If you REALLY want to help me out, start an account there. I'm the one who started the server, and I don't have many visitors,
so if you're looking for a custom email account online with lots and lots of web space (I can almost guarantee that your name will
be available, too) come and see us at:
Authors.zzn.com
Thank you!
- the Getting Over It Management Crew
(Pres. Buttons)
[THE AUTHOR]
//)
***
Transmission One:
"BIG NEWS"
It was seven 'o clock in the morning, and the occupants of Number 13 14th 90th Boulevard St. Rd. Ct. were just
sitting down to enjoy their breakfast of pancakes and frozen Eggo waffles, when a young blonde in a blue bathrobe burst through
the door with an AK-47.
"BIG NEWS!" He yelled, spontaneously firing the gun and blowing several large holes in the ceiling.
"Oh, crap." Ookami muttered. "Not again...." Mr. K didn't pay any attention to her.
Mr. K cleared his throat and continued. "Ookami, your car has been stolen. Kojiro, go look for
Hector; he's gone missing. Sirius, there are some scary men in black cloaks to see you at the door." The three jumped about a
foot out of their chairs.
"No, there aren't!" Sirius turned around and stared out the window.
"I don't have a car...." Ookami said thoughtfully.
"Hector is right here!" Yelled Kojiro, as Hector attempted to pass an Eggo waffle through his nose.
Mr. K looked happy. "I know!" He said brightly. "I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention."
Hector fell backwards out of his chair and turned blue. Mr. K coughed.
"Anyway," he started, "Like I said, I have big news!"
"We know!" Kojiro grumped. "Just get on with it!"
Mr. K continued. "I....," he said triumphantly, "have bought--behold!--LOTTERY TICKETS!" Mr. K held several slips of
paper up in the air as if they were sacred treasures from heaven. Cheesy choir singing filled the background and a ray of blatantly
tacky special-effects light shone down into the kitchen.
Everyone stared. Crickets chirped.
"Um...." Draco prompted, "not that it's important, but....who cares?"
"You will care," said Mr. K, "after we win the $250,000,000,000 Powerball jackpot!"
Vash looked skeptical. "You DO know that no one ever wins those things, right?"
"Nonsense!" Said Mr. K with a grin. "People win the lottery all the time!"
"Um....no, they don't."
"Of course they do!" Mr. K insisted. "Why, I've won the lottery once before!"
"That wasn't the lottery, K," said Ookami, "that was a door prize at the Ace Hardware convention."
Mr. K shrugged. "Same difference, right?" Everyone at the table stared at each other. Sirius excused himself to leave.
"Anyway," said Mr. K, "If you're all nice to me, I'll split my winnings with you."
"What winnings?" Draco said dully. "You're not going to win anything at all. Just watch."
"Draco's right," Kojiro agreed, "the chances of you winning are billions-to-one. If you win, I'll eat one of Hector's socks!"
Ookami and Vash shuddered. Draco excused himself from the breakfast table after turning the color of an Avocado.
"Not that I think you're going to win," said Vash, "but what are your numbers?"
Mr. K grinned proudly. "The best winning lottery numbers in history!" said Mr. K. "1-2-3-4-5, and Powerball, 6!"
Ookami excused herself to go do laundry. Vash said he needed to make an emergency stop at 7 Eleven.
***
It was around noon, and most of the household had gathered in the family room to watch Top Gun for the 465th time
that week.
"I hate this movie!" Said Draco.
"I love this movie!" Chirped Hector, who had no clue what was going on.
Vash and Kojiro were sitting on oversized bean-bag chairs playing Jenga, and Sirius had a needle, thread and glove out,
and seemed to be attempting to sew something.
Ookami was asleep on the couch, muttering something about ballpark hotdogs and flying giraffes, and Hector was
having an intense staring contest with a pencil.
It was this moment that Mr. K chose to burst into the room.
"Big news!" Mr. K yelled automatically.
"Again?" said Kojiro.
*CRASH!*
"Hey!" Kojiro yelled as Mr. K put his foot through the Jenga tower. "That was our game!"
"Jenga! I win!"
"Anyway," Mr. K coughed, "I have Big News!" Everyone rolled their eyes.
"We already--ouch--know you bought--ouch--lottery tickets, and--GOD, WHO INVENTED THESE CURSED THINGS!?." said
Sirius, repeatedly poking himself in the thumb.
"But I have MORE Big News!" Mr. K said irritably. Everyone remained quiet, fearful of Mr. K's gun safe.
"I--," Mr. K attempted to look important, "have bought you all--" Mr. K gestured to the door, where men in uniforms were
carrying in large crates, "--completely new wardrobes!"
Everyone looked at each other, blinked, and stared at Mr. K.
"Alright, K," Sirius said sternly, "what in the world is going on here?"
"It's simple," Mr. K said coolly, "once I win the lottery, we're going to get lots and LOTS of publicity! If we all look good,
we'll get MORE publicity from the publicity we already get!"
"Is there a point to this?"
"Of course!" Mr. K said. "I'm getting there....Anyway, once all the big-time network people see how nice and rich we are--"
Everyone looked at the people sitting next to them and cringed, "--we'll be celebrities! We'll be all over TV, magazines, and maybe
even cheap supermarket tabloids that tell horrible and discriminating lies about our love-lives!"
Vash blinked. Ookami sneezed. Hector began to hum Row, Row, Row Your Boat.
"Mr. K," Ookami said awkwardly, "not that I mind that you went out and bought me expensive new clothes....but where did you
get the money?"
"Oh....that!" Mr. K started laughing his maniacal laugh. "I sold the furniture. Oh, and the car....that, too."
"WHAT!?" The household screeched in unison.
Kojiro growled.
*WHACK!*
*BANG, BANG, BANG!*
"AHHHHHHHHHRG! MY FOOT!"
***
Everyone was sitting in a big circle on the floor of the now completely empty kitchen. Not one piece of furniture could be
found, and on closer inspection, it seemed that Mr. K had also sold the doors, windows, and bathtubs. Kojiro was sitting off in a
corner muttering, with his foot in a bucket of ice. Mr. K was in the bathroom, tending to a black eye.
"You're lucky that was only a BB gun, you know." Vash commented.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LUCKY!?" Kojiro yelled. "That stupid manager broke my foot!"
"You probably should have thought about the consequences of punching someone who's holding a gun."
"I can't believe he sold all the furniture!" Ookami cried. "My table, my stereo, my brand new leather sofa! It's all gone!"
"Look on the bright side," Draco said, "he didn't sell the TV...."
"Well, that's only because he needs to check the winning lottery numbers--not that it matters!" Ookami sobbed. "And my
shelf, and the fridge, and the stove, and Jacuzzi, and the bricks from the fireplace, and my spoon collection...."
Ookami continued to name off the various things Mr. K had sold for twenty minutes until Kojiro threatened to kick her out if she
didn't shut her mouth.
Mr. K soon appeared in the door with a shiny new rifle with lots of painful-looking mechanical attachments. He also
had on a brand new suit, expensive shoes, and his trademark purple necktie and aviator sunglasses.
"Yeah, yeah," Draco muttered, "we know--big news, right?"
"Exactly!" Mr. K beamed. "The lottery prize patrol and camera crews will be here soon, so you'd better all get changed!"
"The lottery prize patrol isn't coming, K," Ookami sobbed, "we went through this already....AFTER YOU SOLD ALL OF THE
FURNITURE!" Ookami blew her nose loudly into a piece of paper, as Mr. K had sold the tissues.
Mr. K grinned. "Of course they're coming!"
"Oh, really?" Vash said with absolutely no interest. "And how do you know this?"
Mr. K laughed his evil-sounding-Mr. K-laugh and lovingly petted his new rifle. "I have connections."
"Why should I listen to you?" Kojiro argued. "You shot me in the foot!"
"Ah!" Mr. K said. "But once we win the lottery, I'll buy you a NEW foot! How does that sound?"
Everyone stared at each other; Ookami blew her nose.
Mr. K smiled at everyone as if expecting them to get up and start dancing the hokey pokey, with the exception of Hector, who
already was.
"Well, then," Mr. K said, shouldering his new rifle, "I'll see you all in fifteen! Don't want to keep the press waiting!"
More crickets chirped. Everyone stared.
"Maybe we should listen to him." Draco said. Everyone glared evilly. "Well, he's been right before! I remember that plane trip to
Mexico...."
Ookami curled into a ball. "Please don't bring that up again."
"Well, it's not like we have anything to lose," Draco said, moving several feet to avoid Hector, who had now started an invisible
Congo line around the kitchen, "I mean, he already sold everything in the house...."
"I see," Ookami said, "so you think we should wear the outfits that it cost more than everything we have to buy so we can go to
a non-existent party for a lottery jackpot that we aren't even going to win?"
"Don't say that!" Draco yelled. "You're making my idea look stupid!"
"You know," Vash said, "this is strange....but I find Mr. K convincing. Maybe Draco's right."
"OH NO! NOT YOU, TOO! YOU'VE BEEN BRAINWASHED!"
"Eh, what the heck, right?" Sirius said. "It's not like we have anything better to do. K sold the DVD cabinet...."
Ookami frowned. "Fine. I give up." Ookami mumbled. "But if anything blows up, catches on fire, or faces total annihilation, I'm
personally blaming everyone else in this room."
Hector then twirled right into Ookami with a mop, which he appeared to have been dancing with while singing Broadway show tunes.
***
"I look ridiculous."
"I look stupid."
"I look pretty!"
These were the responses of Sirius, Kojiro and Hector upon trying on their new outfits.
Ookami, being the only known female in the house, was forced into a purple dress. The men got suits, and Hector got an 1800's
styled British outfit to go with his hat, the only apparent object that Mr. K hadn't sold other than the toilets. They were quite disappointed when
they found that
Mr. K had been smart enough to remove the price-tags from all of the accessories. Ookami was fine with the whole thing when she found
an extremely shiny and expensive-looking diamond necklace to go with the fancy outfit.
When they were finished, everyone looked more than half-way decent for once, including Hector, who usually had food caked all
over his face.
"Well, I have to admit," Ookami said thoughtfully, "for an outlaw, a wolf, a dumb kid, an ex-con, and an--erm, thing, you all don't
look half bad!"
"Really?" Draco said. "Aww....that's too bad, because YOU still look ugly." Ookami glared; out came the Fan Appreciation Bat, and
Ookami chased Draco around the room and beat him over the head.
Mr. K practically bounded through the door, with a grin on his face bright enough to rival the sun.
"Alright, everyone!" Mr. K nearly yelled. "To the living room! The press will be here any minute with the prize wagon!"
Everyone rolled their eyes and looked at each other, then exited to the living room, except for Hector.
"Cool! I didn't know I could roll my eyes!" Hector started rolling his eyes over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over,
and over, and over, and over, and--
Ookami stomped in a dragged Hector out by the sleeve of his jacket.
"Come on, Hector...."
"Uh oh....they're stuck!"
"What's stuck?"
"My eyes....I can't move them anymore."
***
"Well," said Mr. K, looking at his watch, "we have three minutes before the prize patrol is due. Let's go around in a circle and share
what we're each going to buy with the money."
"Even though that line was cheesy enough to make me want to tear my ears off....okay." Kojiro said.
"I'm going to buy an Evil Scientist Kit." said Draco.
"A cotton candy machine!" Hector chimed in; Ookami shuddered.
"The furniture!"
And so, everyone stood in a circle and shared what they were going to do with their part of the money. Ookami wanted fuzzy pillows
to go with the trampoline, Mr. K wanted a corvette, Hector wanted a plastic stable for his My Little Pony collection, Sirius wanted a Harley,
Kojiro wanted a Redwood to put in the yard, and Vash wanted world peace, though he was very disappointed to find out that it wasn't for sale
at Wal-Mart.
Ookami was just ranting about buying and fixing up an SR-71 Blackbird when the doorbell rang.
Everyone froze, then looked at Mr. K, who coughed, grinned mischievously, then opened the door....
....and there stood an old man, with one badly-dressed showgirl hanging off each arm, holding an oversized novelty check for
$250,000,000,000. News vans from channels 1 through 110 were parked out front, and reporters and camera crews swarmed the front porch.
"Are you Claude K. Winchester?" the man with the check asked.
"That would be me....K, for short, if you will...."
Mr. K turned and winked at the rest of the household with a malicious grin.
"YOUR REAL NAME IS....IS....," Hector looked like he was going to explode, "....CLAUDE!"
Crickets chirped. Somewhere, a cow mooed. Ookami sneezed.
....and the entire household dropped to the floor in fits of hysterical laughter. Mr. K scowled and turned around to smile at the
reporters.
"Congratulations, K," said a reporter with a microphone, "You've just won 250 billion dollars. What ARE you going to do now?"
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DISNEYLAND!"
Ookami coughed lightly and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Oh, right--sorry, Ookami--I mean, WE'RE GOING TO BIG BOB'S FURNITURE OUTLET!"
Ookami grinned happily and joined the rest of the household, who had begun to dance across the living room. "That's more like it."
Owari. ^^
***
BUTTON NOTES
(\\ Okay, so that's the first chapter. There are probably only going to be two of them....then I'll start on TRANSMISSION TWO. ^^ Tune in
soon to find out exactly WHAT IN THE WORLD the household does with ALL THAT MONEY....
Buttons
[THE AUTHOR]
Remember: A Review is worth a thousand words.
//)
/ BUTTON NOTES