Draco lay in his room face in a pillow as his mind feverishly ran. If he could rip out his heart with his own hands he would right now he sat up and opened the book that sat on his nightstand. He couldn't bring himself to read. There was a knock at the door, he bowed his head as an older version of himself flew into the room and perched on the end of his bed. After a moment of silence Lucius Malfloy finally broke it. "Well. What is wrong with you?" The small boy let out a slow breath and then breathed in a new." Nothing," he replied still not meeting his father's gaze. "Don't give me that," snapped his father, "there is something wrong." then his voice suddenly warmed "Draco," he continued quietly reaching out a hand and placing it on the boys shoulder "Is there anything I can help you with?" Draco slowly lifted his head to look at his father. "It's nothing I can't handle myself he replied with much more resolve than he felt. Lucius sat for a minute staring at his son the look in his eyes was alarming so confused. "Well you know where to find me," he sighed, finally leaving in a ruffle of capes and quietly closing the door behind him. The boy sat silent for a moment until the sound of footsteps faded far enough away. He grabbed the book that had fallen off his lap and hurled it across the room. The clatter echoed through his enclosed room breaking the silence that was the boy. He flipped back over with his face in his pillow and soon fell into a very unpleasant sleep. He woke once during the night to sit bolt upright in bed sweat slipping down his face and he rested his head in his hands in a weary defeat, then he took his quill from beside his bed and a piece of parchment and slowly neatly wrote out, 'It will never happen" all the way down the page and then across it. And as his eyes got blurry with water and the ink started to blot from wet spots he finished and he lifted the paper to eye level and set it flaming. "It can never happen," he whispered solemnly, heartlessly, "Never." Some time between then and the morning he fell back asleep, but not before again seeing the smiling face of that girl. He felt a warm sensation coming over his chest. He knew she wasn't smiling at him. The boy she hated. She smiled again and he cringed. The muggle mudblood creature that he was supposed to hate and did hate for doing this to him. and yet.