He coughs. He really should stop smoking that pipe. "Well, how you
are here, is easy. A gap opened in the way between the worlds, but I cannot
decide yet whether it was accidental or engineered." He looks weary.
"Well, for me it was very providential that it opened at that particular time. Why don't we sit down, and I'll tell you about it." So we all sit down and get comfy, then I tell them of what has happened to me today sans personal feelings. Several times Frodo blushes. "And that's it, until I sat down here."
"You really kicked the Prince of the Mirkwood Forests in the groin?" Elrond enquires eyes slightly wider then usual.
"Yeah. And if Aragorn hadn't apologized right away, I would have kicked him too." I shrug at the dismayed looks on their faces. "Hey, it works. Guys tend to crumple when you hit them there. I am coming on this quest to destroy the Ring, and there is little you can do to prevent that." They looked stunned.
"But you are a woman." Elrond says.
"Like that has anything to do with it! I just need some training, and I'll be good. After all, the Hobbits had no training before they hit the road. Why should I be any different?" I stare at them defiantly.
"Of course you must go. You know of what lies ahead for the Fellowship." Gandalf looks up and gazes carefully at Elrond. "She will be a part of it. She has already sworn herself to Frodo's protection."
"It's true. She did, when she met me." Frodo asserts.
"You forget, Frodo, I know of your importance. And I look forward to getting to know you." I frown, and shake my head. "There must be something in the air here, I'm talking really formal. Odd. Disconcerting even. I keep slipping from slang to formal language. Very odd. Oh well, meow!" They look at me oddly. "I'm Cat, cats go meow! Therefore I go meow in times of stress. Or when I feel like it." I laugh at them; I must seem really peculiar to them.
"Very well then." Lord Elrond assents tiredly. "The council will be tomorrow, after the Dwarves arrive." He rubs his forehead. "Dwarves in Rivendell."
"Dwarves are people too! Truly, all you Elves are so racist! Ah well. Not much I can do to change over a, what is it, hundred thousand years of inbred snobbishness."
"Quite." Says Lord Elrond diplomatically.
"Hey Frodo, why don't you introduce me to Bilbo?"
"Certainly, Cat. If you will excuse us, Lord Elrond, Gandalf?" They nod.
"Go on Frodo." Gandalf nods. Frodo bows, sort of and gestures for me to follow him. We head off down a path.
"So Frodo, how's things?"
"Things?" He sounds confused.
"Like, how are you, what are you doing, what have you done recently, those types of things."
"Well, confusing and terrifying really."
"Yeah, I can understand why. How's Bilbo?"
"Old, and very frail. But I think he'll be glad to see you. He's always interested in exotic things."
"Well, you don't get much more exotic then me. From a whole other world, no less." We fall silent for a bit, and continue to walk. The trees whisper. "It's really odd, here the trees are more alive, for want of a better word then any trees I've encountered before. Aware. Must be the Elves." I muse distractedly.
"Perhaps, Cat." He looks up at me. "Or perhaps, you are more sensitive then you were in your world."
"That's an idea. Meow! Mew, mew, mew!" I start meowing musically. Frodo looks at me as I've lost my mind. I giggle at him, and continue to mew. "Mew, mew, mew, meow, meow." I close my eyes and start to dance. I slide them open a little bit and glance down at Frodo. "Mew, meow, mew." I wave my arms around oddly "Meeeeooooowwww!" I climb up a tree and mew louder, swinging my legs "Mew, mew, mew, meow, meow, meow." Frodo is laughing now, whooping almost. This is good; I'm making him laugh. He needs to laugh. I laugh out loud too, then gasping for breath, drop easily to the ground and roll around laughing uncontrollably. We laugh together. We almost stop then I look at him, and say "Mew." We burst out laughing yet again, holding our sides from the pain of laughing so hard.
"Oh dear, Cat, I fear you are truly mad." Frodo says wiping his eyes.
"Too true, too true, I fear. Well, we should get up and see Bilbo, anyways."
"Let's go then."
Frodo gives me a hand up and still laughing, we walk on. I'm still singing under my breath "Mew, mew, mew." We walk on through the avenues of trees and garden beds of Rivendell. Above us I can see narrow walkways that look as delicate as spiders' webs, and as frail. The Elves of Rivendell walk unconcernedly along them, though they look like they would snap in a slight breeze. Delicate traceries of balconies project out from trees that are also houses. I would like to stay longer in Rivendell, but I know that the Fellowship will leave soon, and that I will leave with them.
Frodo looks ahead and cries out "Uncle Bilbo!" and runs ahead of me to greet an old Hobbit, who is sitting on a bench in the sun. He turns to see Frodo and smiles.
"Hello, my dear boy! And how are you today?" I follow Frodo more slowly.
"I am fine Uncle. And this is someone who I think you'd like to meet. This is the Lady Caitlyn, and she greatly wanted to meet you."
"That's true I did. I'm from another world, and you're rather famous there. I think I have the book in my bag." I rummage through my backpack, which I miraculously still have and withdraw my copy of 'The Hobbit'. "Here, this is a book about you, and your adventures." I hand it to him and he takes it with shaking hands. He opens it slowly and leafs through the pages.
"Well, that is a wonder. Look at the printing, Frodo, it's so regular and precise. And the pages.the parchment is so fine and white, but durable. It must have cost you a lot of money, Lady Caitlyn."
"Not really. My world is a world of Science, not Magic. There are no other intelligent races, but Men. We have many machines to do our bidding, and we are able to mass-produce items. There are millions of copies of that book in existence. They are still being produced, at the rate of hundreds a day, and people buy them with an amount of money that doesn't truly equal more then an hour's work." The Hobbits are dumbstruck by what I am saying. "I wonder sometimes if the reason we have so many tales and stories of other worlds, and other races that exist side by side with Men, is that we are lonely."
"It sounds fascinating, Lady Caitlyn." Bilbo says.
"Please don't call me Lady, just Cat will do. Where I come from, there are few places where there are still nobles, and less where a monarchy is still in place. Quite different to Middle Earth."
"Yes, yes." Bilbo is captivated by my book.
"You can keep it to read, if you like. You can tell me where it goes wrong." I say with a laugh.
"That's a good idea. I will do that." He gives a slight wave of his hand, totally engrossed with the book. I nudge Frodo and we quietly leave Bilbo to his book. We walk further along the paths of Rivendell; Elves pass around us ignoring us. So snobbish, obviously a stranger and a Hobbit are beneath their notice. I decide to make them notice us, if I'm going to be away in a day or so I don't care if they think me mad. Frodo will eventually leave with them to go to the Land beyond the Sea, but maybe I'll change that.
I begin to sing a song, another song of my world that will shock the Elves, "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira, "Lucky you were born that far away so, we could both make fun of distance, lucky that I love a foreign land for, the lucky fact of your existence, baby I would climb the Andes solely, to count the freckles on your body, never could imagine there were only, ten million ways to love somebody," I start adding in the marvelous belly dancing techniques of Shakira now, "Le do le le le le, le do le le le le, can't you see, I'm at your feet?" Frodo looks horrified and the Elves look scandalized. Perfect! I start dancing in circles, continuing with my dance techniques, "Whenever, wherever, we're meant to be together, I'll be there and you'll be near, and that's the deal my dear, thereover, hereunder, you'll never have to wonder, we can always play by ear, but that's the deal my dear,"
I look ahead and see Boromir surrounded by Elves. I smile widely and wave cheekily at him and sing louder for his benefit, "Lucky that my lips not only mumble, they spill kisses like a fountain, lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains," I glance down at Frodo, who's face is red with embarrassment and shock. I look back up again and see Boromir now trying to politely thrust his way through the Elves, "Lucky that I have strong legs like my mother, to run for cover when I need it, and these two eyes that for no other, the day you leave will cry a river," I strike a pose and blow a kiss at Boromir, "Le do le le le le, le do le le le le, at your feet, I'm at your feet," Boromir grabs my arm and tries to move me. I smile at him and continue to sing the song, going onto the chorus.
"Will you stop?" Boromir furiously whispers into my ear. I shake my head and keep singing, licking my lips now because my mouth is dry. I am now well into the second choruses after the line 'lost in my eyes'.
"You've got me head over heels, there's nothing left to fear, if you really feel the way I feel." I half bow, despite Boromir holding onto my arm, "Thank you, thank you, you've been a wonderful audience." I say scathingly.
"Will you come now?"
"Sure, I've finished rattling their cages.for now. It seems to me that the Elves have forgotten how to have fun."
Boromir drags me off protesting with Frodo trotting along behind. Why haven't I kicked him in the balls yet? Because I want to save him from himself. And if I kick him in the balls, I remove his pride. Besides, I kinda like him. More so then any stuck up Elf.
"Well, for me it was very providential that it opened at that particular time. Why don't we sit down, and I'll tell you about it." So we all sit down and get comfy, then I tell them of what has happened to me today sans personal feelings. Several times Frodo blushes. "And that's it, until I sat down here."
"You really kicked the Prince of the Mirkwood Forests in the groin?" Elrond enquires eyes slightly wider then usual.
"Yeah. And if Aragorn hadn't apologized right away, I would have kicked him too." I shrug at the dismayed looks on their faces. "Hey, it works. Guys tend to crumple when you hit them there. I am coming on this quest to destroy the Ring, and there is little you can do to prevent that." They looked stunned.
"But you are a woman." Elrond says.
"Like that has anything to do with it! I just need some training, and I'll be good. After all, the Hobbits had no training before they hit the road. Why should I be any different?" I stare at them defiantly.
"Of course you must go. You know of what lies ahead for the Fellowship." Gandalf looks up and gazes carefully at Elrond. "She will be a part of it. She has already sworn herself to Frodo's protection."
"It's true. She did, when she met me." Frodo asserts.
"You forget, Frodo, I know of your importance. And I look forward to getting to know you." I frown, and shake my head. "There must be something in the air here, I'm talking really formal. Odd. Disconcerting even. I keep slipping from slang to formal language. Very odd. Oh well, meow!" They look at me oddly. "I'm Cat, cats go meow! Therefore I go meow in times of stress. Or when I feel like it." I laugh at them; I must seem really peculiar to them.
"Very well then." Lord Elrond assents tiredly. "The council will be tomorrow, after the Dwarves arrive." He rubs his forehead. "Dwarves in Rivendell."
"Dwarves are people too! Truly, all you Elves are so racist! Ah well. Not much I can do to change over a, what is it, hundred thousand years of inbred snobbishness."
"Quite." Says Lord Elrond diplomatically.
"Hey Frodo, why don't you introduce me to Bilbo?"
"Certainly, Cat. If you will excuse us, Lord Elrond, Gandalf?" They nod.
"Go on Frodo." Gandalf nods. Frodo bows, sort of and gestures for me to follow him. We head off down a path.
"So Frodo, how's things?"
"Things?" He sounds confused.
"Like, how are you, what are you doing, what have you done recently, those types of things."
"Well, confusing and terrifying really."
"Yeah, I can understand why. How's Bilbo?"
"Old, and very frail. But I think he'll be glad to see you. He's always interested in exotic things."
"Well, you don't get much more exotic then me. From a whole other world, no less." We fall silent for a bit, and continue to walk. The trees whisper. "It's really odd, here the trees are more alive, for want of a better word then any trees I've encountered before. Aware. Must be the Elves." I muse distractedly.
"Perhaps, Cat." He looks up at me. "Or perhaps, you are more sensitive then you were in your world."
"That's an idea. Meow! Mew, mew, mew!" I start meowing musically. Frodo looks at me as I've lost my mind. I giggle at him, and continue to mew. "Mew, mew, mew, meow, meow." I close my eyes and start to dance. I slide them open a little bit and glance down at Frodo. "Mew, meow, mew." I wave my arms around oddly "Meeeeooooowwww!" I climb up a tree and mew louder, swinging my legs "Mew, mew, mew, meow, meow, meow." Frodo is laughing now, whooping almost. This is good; I'm making him laugh. He needs to laugh. I laugh out loud too, then gasping for breath, drop easily to the ground and roll around laughing uncontrollably. We laugh together. We almost stop then I look at him, and say "Mew." We burst out laughing yet again, holding our sides from the pain of laughing so hard.
"Oh dear, Cat, I fear you are truly mad." Frodo says wiping his eyes.
"Too true, too true, I fear. Well, we should get up and see Bilbo, anyways."
"Let's go then."
Frodo gives me a hand up and still laughing, we walk on. I'm still singing under my breath "Mew, mew, mew." We walk on through the avenues of trees and garden beds of Rivendell. Above us I can see narrow walkways that look as delicate as spiders' webs, and as frail. The Elves of Rivendell walk unconcernedly along them, though they look like they would snap in a slight breeze. Delicate traceries of balconies project out from trees that are also houses. I would like to stay longer in Rivendell, but I know that the Fellowship will leave soon, and that I will leave with them.
Frodo looks ahead and cries out "Uncle Bilbo!" and runs ahead of me to greet an old Hobbit, who is sitting on a bench in the sun. He turns to see Frodo and smiles.
"Hello, my dear boy! And how are you today?" I follow Frodo more slowly.
"I am fine Uncle. And this is someone who I think you'd like to meet. This is the Lady Caitlyn, and she greatly wanted to meet you."
"That's true I did. I'm from another world, and you're rather famous there. I think I have the book in my bag." I rummage through my backpack, which I miraculously still have and withdraw my copy of 'The Hobbit'. "Here, this is a book about you, and your adventures." I hand it to him and he takes it with shaking hands. He opens it slowly and leafs through the pages.
"Well, that is a wonder. Look at the printing, Frodo, it's so regular and precise. And the pages.the parchment is so fine and white, but durable. It must have cost you a lot of money, Lady Caitlyn."
"Not really. My world is a world of Science, not Magic. There are no other intelligent races, but Men. We have many machines to do our bidding, and we are able to mass-produce items. There are millions of copies of that book in existence. They are still being produced, at the rate of hundreds a day, and people buy them with an amount of money that doesn't truly equal more then an hour's work." The Hobbits are dumbstruck by what I am saying. "I wonder sometimes if the reason we have so many tales and stories of other worlds, and other races that exist side by side with Men, is that we are lonely."
"It sounds fascinating, Lady Caitlyn." Bilbo says.
"Please don't call me Lady, just Cat will do. Where I come from, there are few places where there are still nobles, and less where a monarchy is still in place. Quite different to Middle Earth."
"Yes, yes." Bilbo is captivated by my book.
"You can keep it to read, if you like. You can tell me where it goes wrong." I say with a laugh.
"That's a good idea. I will do that." He gives a slight wave of his hand, totally engrossed with the book. I nudge Frodo and we quietly leave Bilbo to his book. We walk further along the paths of Rivendell; Elves pass around us ignoring us. So snobbish, obviously a stranger and a Hobbit are beneath their notice. I decide to make them notice us, if I'm going to be away in a day or so I don't care if they think me mad. Frodo will eventually leave with them to go to the Land beyond the Sea, but maybe I'll change that.
I begin to sing a song, another song of my world that will shock the Elves, "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira, "Lucky you were born that far away so, we could both make fun of distance, lucky that I love a foreign land for, the lucky fact of your existence, baby I would climb the Andes solely, to count the freckles on your body, never could imagine there were only, ten million ways to love somebody," I start adding in the marvelous belly dancing techniques of Shakira now, "Le do le le le le, le do le le le le, can't you see, I'm at your feet?" Frodo looks horrified and the Elves look scandalized. Perfect! I start dancing in circles, continuing with my dance techniques, "Whenever, wherever, we're meant to be together, I'll be there and you'll be near, and that's the deal my dear, thereover, hereunder, you'll never have to wonder, we can always play by ear, but that's the deal my dear,"
I look ahead and see Boromir surrounded by Elves. I smile widely and wave cheekily at him and sing louder for his benefit, "Lucky that my lips not only mumble, they spill kisses like a fountain, lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains," I glance down at Frodo, who's face is red with embarrassment and shock. I look back up again and see Boromir now trying to politely thrust his way through the Elves, "Lucky that I have strong legs like my mother, to run for cover when I need it, and these two eyes that for no other, the day you leave will cry a river," I strike a pose and blow a kiss at Boromir, "Le do le le le le, le do le le le le, at your feet, I'm at your feet," Boromir grabs my arm and tries to move me. I smile at him and continue to sing the song, going onto the chorus.
"Will you stop?" Boromir furiously whispers into my ear. I shake my head and keep singing, licking my lips now because my mouth is dry. I am now well into the second choruses after the line 'lost in my eyes'.
"You've got me head over heels, there's nothing left to fear, if you really feel the way I feel." I half bow, despite Boromir holding onto my arm, "Thank you, thank you, you've been a wonderful audience." I say scathingly.
"Will you come now?"
"Sure, I've finished rattling their cages.for now. It seems to me that the Elves have forgotten how to have fun."
Boromir drags me off protesting with Frodo trotting along behind. Why haven't I kicked him in the balls yet? Because I want to save him from himself. And if I kick him in the balls, I remove his pride. Besides, I kinda like him. More so then any stuck up Elf.