"That's the place. Enjoy yourselves," Foaly said.
Artemis stared at the dilapidated warehouse, located at an abandoned back street.
"This decrepit place?" Asked Artemis disbelievingly. "It just seems so… wrong somehow. Maybe I am too used to conducting business in more… civilized sites."
"Business? You mean your despicable criminal activities," shot Holly.
"That too," conceded Artemis. "But I suppose to each his own."
"No one wants to hear your idiot homilies," spat the diminutive elf.
"Shall we go in?" Questioned Juliet impatiently.
"Foaly. Is this place booby trapped?" inquired Artemis.
"How am I supposed to know?" Foaly replied somewhat grumpily. "My computers are down, remember?"
"So the only way is
to walk in and pray?" Mulch asked incredulously. "I think I'll take my leave
now," he said as he began to walk away.
"Very well, Mulch, I'm sure you can find your way home without the Lear Jet,"
smirked Artemis.
Mulch stopped dead in his tracks.
"Go on, Mulch. Don't let the thought of freezing and starving to death in the cold, Russian winter stop you from taking cowardly flight," Artemis continued smugly.
"You're a hard man, Artemis." Mulch walked back to them slowly, slouched.
"Never claimed to be otherwise," replied Artemis loftily.
"At any rate, we may still be able to avoid any booby traps left to greet us. Firstly, Holly, use your thermal scan to see if there are any life forms in there." Artemis instructed.
She did accordingly, not bothering to argue, for once. Probably a first.
"A few mice, and one cat," she answered.
"Well, that takes care of the issue of a live reception, at least," Butler said. "Not that it says very much."
Holly took a deep breath. "Well, shall we go in?"
*
Felix leaned back in his office. A screen was put before him. He watched it lazily out of the corner of his eye. It was highly unlikely that any fairies would be able to venture aboveground, but he had learned that it didn't pay to be too complacent. At any rate, he had left a few… surprises for any fairy who miraculously managed to arrive at the surface and find the site. However, he was pretty sure that this would not come to pass. Or so he hoped.
He leaned back and went to his paperwork, still glancing at the screen periodically. Just in case.
*
"Not so fast, Captain," Artemis instructed.
Holly bristled. "I believe I know what doing, Fowl. I have been in this business before you were even-" she started vociferously.
Artemis cut her off. "Well, if you'd like to be blown into infinitesimal pieces, go on ahead, Holly," he said calmly. He turned to the rest of the group. "I get the wings," he told them loudly.
Mulch snickered, and Juliet tried to hide her grin. Butler kept his impassive face, but a tinge of mirth crept into his eyes. Even Foaly whinnied amusedly. Holly felt her cheeks redden.
"In case you have forgotten, Captain, we have not resolved the issue of booby traps. It is entirely possible that there is a land mine in front of the door. The door itself may be rigged."
"Yeah, yeah, Mud Boy," she said a tad irritably. Embarrassed by the boy again. What she wouldn't give to buzz him… She sighed inwardly.
*
A motley group caught Felix's eye. A giant, a blonde ditz, a heavily cloaked short individual and a pale boy appeared on his screen. He snorted. Tourists. He hoped they would not venture inside. Their death would be unfortunate, though hardly worrying. The cost of the explosives wasted was a little more troubling. In fact, there was a mine right in front of the door. He shrugged and went back to his desk.
*
Artemis picked up a small rock and casually lofted it right in front of the door. There did the unfortunate stone meet its untimely demise, as it was, well, blown into infinitesimal pieces.
"I'd hate to use such a cliché, but I told you so," Artemis cocked an eyebrow at Holly.
She stopped herself from buzzing him by fantasizing about her hands on his throat, squeezing for all she was worth.
*
Felix heard a loud explosion. He sighed. Three thousand euros down the bucket. Dumb tourists. He peered at the screen. Strange… they appeared to be intact. Maybe a rock fell on the explosive, he reasoned. At least this would scare them off before they set off some more mines. He did not return to his paperwork, but instead continued looking at the screen. Something was amiss here.
*
Artemis looked around surreptitiously. Good. They were clear. "Holly, if you would kindly disintegrate the doorframe." Artemis said somewhat pompously.
She took out her gun, briefly contemplating the possibility of sending Artemis to an early grave, and did as he said.
*
Felix was still looking at the screen. He was shocked to see a neutrino blast destroying his doorway. What more, it appeared to be coming from thin air. This could only mean…
"The fairies are here," he breathed.
Maybe there was just one, he thought hopefully. He glanced more closely at the short individual. A dwarf. He swallowed. This could turn ugly very fast. But he disabled their shuttles! This could not be!
He pondered for a moment. These fairies must have been aboveground before the incident. Then why were there humans with them, seemingly unperturbed by this ghostly blast?
It dawned on him after a while. He was not the only one who knew of the fairies. He clenched his fist. Oh well, he thought, the competition would be eliminated. Soon.
Come in, little fairies and humans. Step into the warehouse.
Yes, things would take a turn for the better soon.
*
"Now, we shall proceed cautiously," Artemis told the group.
Holly rolled her eyes. She would like nothing better than to throttle this pompous, sententious know-it-all right this instance. She gritted her teeth and followed them in. Dark thoughts flooded her mind, and she caught herself grimly hoping that Artemis was the culprit, if only to blast him into sweet oblivion.
Artemis looked behind the remains of the doorframe. He gestured to a small metallic box. "An explosive. We were anticipated."
"Hold it. There will certainly be more of these sly traps lying in wait. Mulch, if you would please check for electronic devices?" Artemis asked.
"No problem, Fowl," he said a tad sourly. He put his ears and beard to the floor, sensing for vibration of any kind.
"Three metres ahead. Five metres northwest. Four metres to the left. Two metres to the left. Seven metres to the right." Mulch rattled.
At each of Mulch's statements, Artemis tossed a rock to the spot Mulch directed him to. Each time he was rewarded by a deafening mini-explosion.
"Clever. Miniature bombs, just small enough to evade detection from conventional explosive detecting tools," Artemis commented.
"Whatever, Fowl. Let's get this over with. Every moment spent with you ruins my temperament just a little bit more," Holly responded dangerously.
Artemis did not answer, but he did seem to go on a little faster.
*
The intruders had penetrated the warehouse, and somehow avoided being blown to bits. Felix growled. D'Arvit. A word he had picked up from various fairies who were about to kick the bucket. A swear word, or so he gathered.
No matter. Not all the electronics were electrical. And besides, so what if they got through? He had cleaned up after himself thoroughly. He was never one to leave evidence lying around.
*
"Be careful. The danger has not subsided yet. Not all the explosives will be electrical."
Holly removed a bizarre contraption from her tool kit. "Foaly's invention."
"As usual," muttered the centaur.
Holly ignored him.
"It scans the surroundings by bombarding particles all over. You can tell what chemicals are around by the reflection movement of the particle and its various reactions to different compounds. The computer then scans and analyses the findings and tells you what chemicals are in the immediate vicinity," Foaly said smugly. "I am a genius. No doubt about it."
Artemis raised his head. "It depends on which benchmark you use, Foaly. Compared to me-"
Holly broke the two apart, figuratively speaking. "That's enough, boys. Both of you are smart. Happy?" She sighed resignedly.
"Boys will be boys," she muttered to herself while rolling her eyes.
"Whatever, kids. So what did you get, Holly?" broached Juliet.
"Hmm… Semtex nearby, at coordinates 1305, 1492, 0403, 3476, 5782 and 9637."
Artemis snorted. "Well, at least that answered the question to whether the culprit was expected us."
Holly glanced at Artemis strangely. "Yeah. He definitely expected us. I wonder how he knew?"
Artemis rolled his eyes yet again. "Because, Captain, he killed a sprite at this place. It is logical for him to presume that the fairies will come to investigate. I believe the colloquialism 'duh' would be highly appropriate here."
Holly didn't bother to respond to the insult. If she didn't watch herself, she'd become like Root. "So, how are we going to disable Semtex? It is much more explosive than those miniature bombs we encountered. We do the same thing, we're going to get blown up. And anyway if we step out and set them off, we are going to lose the only lead we have. And we can't go around them, certainly, they have us covered."
"Hold on. I'm thinking."
"That's a first," muttered Holly.
Artemis spared a moment to glare at her murderously before returning to contemplative silence.
After a while, Artemis straightened. "I have a plan."