AN: This is my first Author's note, as I find that they generally disrupt the plot. I thought to overcome this by answering queries in my review section, but as Old Man gracefully pointed out, ff.net does not condone this. Therefore, hereafter, I shall reply in author's notes much akin to these.

And while I'm here, I just want to say, thank you to all of you reviewers. You have no idea how elated I am to see those alerts in my mailbox, and I hope that all of you will keep reviewing regularly :-) And for those whom read this fiction and don't review, I exhort you, I plead, please leave a review! Otherwise, to me, you don't exist at all! So please leave me a review… please? :-)

And also, please ignore the scientific bloopers that Darklight ascendant has pointed out. I am no science whiz, and I apologize for this :-/ And anyway, if we were to get extremely technical, the Fairies shielding is illogical and is probably a scientific impossibility. So if any of you see a scientific mistake, please excuse me :-)

And yes, Jade Sabre, asinine means stupid. :-) Much like me :-P And A5H2M8, no, I do not give con. Crit. to all my reviewers, only if I'm in the mood :-) And I would like to apologize for my occasional verbosity, I would like to assure you, I do not read the dictionary for fun :-D

OK, enough of my incoherent ramblings. On with the story!

Informative Findings

The unlikely, motley band had flown back to Ireland more or less without incident, unless you count the numerous sparing sessions between Holly and Artemis, and was assembled in Fowl's lab, awaiting the results of his DNA test.

"This machine will analyse the sample given, in this case, the suitcase, or whatever is left of it. It will scan for any traces of DNA and read them, matching them accordingly with the appropriate person in my, or rather the CIA's database, which I obtained by hacking into their mainframe" Artemis announced somewhat sententiously.

"Basic stuff, Fowl, now can we get on with it?" Foaly replied in a bored tone.

Artemis was irked. "This is a very advanced piece of work, Foaly. Not even the police, or for that matter, the FBI, have obtained something of this level of sophistry yet. This requires much technological acumen. Only one sufficiently adroit in this field would be able to-"

"Foaly's right, Mud Boy, we've had this for years. Now can we just move on?" Holly interrupted impatiently.

Artemis bristled, and his expression darkened. "Very well," he muttered blackly.

He fed the charred scrap into the machine gently and pressed the 'analyse and compute' button. After a few seconds, the results appeared on the screen, an assortment of letters glowing incandescently.

Artemis consulted it for a moment. "Hmm… there are two DNA samples here. One is human, and the other is a bizarre mutation of normal DNA… I can't make it out. It seems very similar to a humans, yet just different enough to throw me off track…"

Foaly peered through Holly's comp screen. "That's a sprite's," he answered.

The group pondered on that for a moment. "Ew," they remarked in unison.

Artemis recovered from that somewhat morbid contemplation and returned to the screen. "I shall now proceed to match it using the CIA's database," he said. "Any known criminal shall appear on the screen if it is their sample we have here."

Holly rolled her eyes. "I think we've been through this, Fowl. Getting repetitive, are we?"

Artemis eyes flashed angrily. "I was merely afraid that you, dear Captain, had trouble recalling any information I have supplied, taking into account your greatly inferior mental capabilities and your tendency to ignore your betters," he attacked maliciously.

Holly's expression turned frosty. "You just-"

Foaly sighed. "If both of you are done denigrating each other, we have a mission here," he said reprovingly.

"Of course, Foaly. It merely irks me to be verbally assaulted by that excuse for a Captain," Artemis straightened.

"Excuse for a- You pathetic Mud Boy, I am going to debilitate you with my buzz baton so bad you won't be able sit down for mo-"

"Break it up, both of you!" Foaly's voice rang out sharply. "Honestly," he muttered to himself. "And no more smarmy comments, the both of you!" The centaur added with asperity.

"Fine, Foaly, I will attempt to halt this abeyance, if Holly will consent to do the same," Artemis replied grudgingly.

"Same goes here," Holly said, eying Fowl with a certain distaste. She was beginning to wonder why she had ever missed him, even if only for a brief moment.

"Good," Foaly answered. He didn't really think it was going to work, but it was worth a shot.

"As I was saying, I shall run a search. Hold on for a bit." Artemis's fingers flew over the keyboard.

"One match. A certain Felix de Boer," Artemis said, somewhat disturbed.

Holly tapped her foot impatiently. "Not all of us are so acquainted with the criminal world, Fowl. Enlighten us."

"Hmm… Felix de Boer. Criminal mastermind, owns his own criminal network, akin to the mafia, but slightly more- sophisticated, if that is the right term. Has a reputation for cruelty, and is as slippery as an eel. Not one to be trusted."

"Duh," remarked Holly exasperatedly, her voice carrying no small amounts of irritation.

Artemis ignored that. He was becoming more and more proficient at that nowadays. "He is very intelligent, though, and cunning. His base is a virtual fortress, and is more or less impregnable under normal circumstances, but hopefully with Fairy magic, and a little Fairy weaponry, we can do it. Of course, assuming that he is guilty, he will have a significant advantage in terms of technology," Artemis elaborated.

"Now that's a cheery thought," Holly remarked.

"Where is his base located?" queried Mulch.

"Poland," answered Artemis shortly. He did not like the odds if he came head to head with Felix de Boer. Especially when Felix had the technological advantage. And the home ground reception on his side.

"Poland? That's an unlikely place for a criminal mastermind to make his base. I have never heard of something like this," Holly said disbelievingly.

"Which is precisely why he did it, Holly," Artemis answered with tones that spoke volumes, rubbing his brow.

"You'll excuse me if I don't think the way a cruel, debased, evil, sinister, demented, criminal does, Fowl. I am afraid you have an advantage in that field," Holly remarked caustically.

"Also, he cited tax reasons, or something like that in the monthly edition of 'Flouting the Law'." Artemis finished. "And I am not a cruel, evil, debased, sinister, demented criminal, Holly. Just a greedy one." He rubbed his temple yet again. A migraine was heading his way. He could feel it.

Holly snorted. "I certainly saw signs of all the above when you kidnapped me, Fowl."

"It was all about the money, Holly. It was nothing personal. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time." Artemis replied wearily.

"That still doesn't justify your actions, Artemis." Holly said quietly.

"I know," Artemis answered, with a tinge of- could it be? - regret.

 Holly relented slightly when she saw his melancholic, regretful features.

"Well, lets get on with business," Artemis continued brusquely, as though nothing had happened.

"We shall require an ingenious plan in order to outsmart Felix. I, naturally, shall supply this. You all shall be informed in due time. Holly, I believe you shall need to perform the ritual, as this plan shall probably involve magic, and much of it at that."

Holly saluted ironically. "Aye aye, sir," she commented sardonically.

Artemis sighed but let that pass. "Mulch, you have your standard fairy burglary equipment?"

"Yep, Arty-O," Mulch answered.

Artemis looked pained. "Mulch, what inspired you to call me by that ridiculous name?"

Mulch grinned and shrugged. "Just came to me, I suppose," he said. "Maybe my muse decided to spark my creativity. Like it?"

"Well, Mulch, Butler's fist shall also come to you if you don't stop that foolishness." Artemis folded his arms and raised his eyebrow.

Mulch gulped. "Sure, Arty-" he began.

"Ahem," Butler cleared his throat, seemingly innocuously, while he lifted his arm and flexed it.

"I-I mean, Artemis," Mulch finished quickly.

"Good," Artemis smirked.

"Um… Artemis. Will I be joining you on this mission?" Butler asked tentatively, diffidently.

Artemis thought about it for a while. This matter had been troubling him. "I will consider it," he said finally.

Butler's shoulders sagged a little. Oh well, he thought, it was better than an outright no.

"But Juliet will be coming, so rest easy, old friend. I shall have a Butler at my side, one way or the other." Artemis consoled him.

"I guess that's better than nothing," replied Butler resignedly.

"Foaly, I assume you will be with us during the entire mission?" Artemis directed his question to the centaur.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Foaly whinnied.

"Are we all clear, then?" Artemis inquired.

"Yes," they chorused.

"Very well then, let us make our preparations. One ingenious plan, coming right up."

They all shuddered at that.

*

As Holly was flying towards a Ritual site, she recontacted Foaly.

"Foaly, does this new finding vindicate Fowl?" Holly questioned.

"I believe it does," admitted the centaur.

Holly was in two minds about this. The irate, annoyed part of dearly longed for an excuse to administer retribution, but the more forgiving section of her mind was relieved to see Fowl go free.

"I suppose you will have to tell Fowl about this," added Foaly casually.

"Tell Fowl? Are you insane? Give me one good reason why I should inform that- that- that vindictive monster about any of this!" Holly ranted.

"Well… it would help to let Fowl know he isn't suspected at all. He's bound to have a few suspicions already. If Fowl is feeling that he is a suspect, it could compromise the mission. Before this, it couldn't be helped, but now that we have this option, we must as well inform him," Foaly said reasonably.

Holly seethed for a while. Then her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Is that the only reason?" She asked pointedly.

"Well, it would be amusing to see you try and explain the whole thing to him," Foaly added, grinning, right before he terminated communications, leaving a simmering Holly hovering a few hundred feet above the picturesque Irish landscape.