Damn, damn, damn, DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just erased this whole chapter by
accident! **kicks computer and screams in frustration** May be a little
while before I feel good enough to cope with writing it again. **kicks
computer some more** I hate computers with a vengeance! **throws computer
out the window** AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Stupid stupid evil malicious
malevolent computer! You go to hell, you burn in hell and you die! My
paranoia in relation to computers is entirely justified, as this shows.
AHHHHH!!!!! So much frustration and anger!
Ok. I'm back. But I still carry such anger! Damn you to hell! Stupid computer! **smiles sweetly** oh, and thank you to my reviewers. You're so nice. I really do appreciate it. I just have been working on a HP fic. Which has over three hundred reviews, so you'd better get off your freaking arses! I mean that in a nice way, of course. Ahem. So we go on.
And then I find out one of my fics was deleted, and my updating anything not allowed! This will be the most awaited chapter ever. And that three hundred review story? That's the one that got deleted. Censorship bites.
We halt a little further on and eat lemblas. It's good, but I fantasize longingly about a cup of hot chocolate and a pain au chocolate, straight out of the oven, when the chocolate's still all gooey. And sweet chilli sauce on top. Mmmm. The wind dies down a bit and we get going while the going's good. Then the wind picks up again. I blink as the snow adheres itself to my eyelashes. The poor little Hobbits, if I'm doing this badly. I bend almost double as I try to force a way against the howling wind. Suddenly, we halt. And then the stones start to fall, among these weird and eerie noises. "Fuck!" I yelp as one crashes right in front of me. I jump backwards, and then Boromir grabs me and pulls into the side of the mountain. I stare in shock at the stone that would have made me an ex-Cat as it thuds into the ground where I had jumped to. The rest of the Fellowship follows Boromir's example as the stones continue to fall.
"We cannot go further tonight," Boromir calls out against the wind. "Let those call it the wind who will; there are fell voices on the air; and those stones are aimed at us." Damn straight! I nearly got hit!
"I do call it the wind," Aragorn yells back from his place at the top of the column, "But that does not make what you say untrue. There are many evil and unfriendly things in the world that have little love for those that go on two legs, and yet are not in league with Sauron, but have purposes of their own. Some have been in this world longer then he." I shiver and press into Boromir's warmth. Sauron's bad enough.
"Caradhas was called the Cruel, and had an ill name, long years ago, when rumor of Sauron had not been heard in these lands." And the dwarf makes his contribution. Can we make up our minds here?
"It matters little who is the enemy, if we can not beat off his attack." Gandalf shouts, his beard iced up, and his hat looking fit to run away.
"But what can we do?" Pippin calls out miserably. I smile at them, they're just too small. Not enough body warmth, not enough height, just . . .handicapped at this precise moment.
"Either stop where we are, or go back, it is no good going on." Well, the wizard is just full of happy news today. "- bottom of a long hard slope. We should have no shelter there from snow, or stones - or anything else." Now, that's really comforting.
"And it is no good going back while the storm holds," Aragorn shouts, hand held up to protect his face, "We have passed no place on the way up that offered more shelter then this cliff-wall we are under now."
"Shelter!" Sam mutters. "If this is shelter, then one wall and no roof make a house." I laugh weakly and settle down while we wait the storm out. I doze uneasily, my head leaning forward, then jerking it back when it slips too far. Boromir rubs my back comfortingly, as he stares out into the snow. I glance blearily around for the Hobbits, and stare at where they should be, behind Bill, but aren't. Just snow. The information processes through my numbed brain, and I leap to my feet and run over to the hillocks of snow. "Boromir! The Hobbits! Help me dig them out!" I start digging frantically and unearth Merry, who coughs and opens his eyes. Boromir digs out Pippin then Frodo.
"This will be the death of the halflings, Gandalf!" Boromir yells out as he stands Frodo on his feet. "It is useless to sit-"
I tune out as I try to get Sam to wake up. "C'mon Sam! Wake up!" He breathes shallowly through blue tinted lips, then opens his eyes. "Walk around, slap your hands together." He numbly does as I tell him. I lose track of the conversation as I make the Hobbits wake up and move around. A hand nudges my shoulder and Boromir offers me a leather flask. "What is that?"
"Miruvor. Take a mouthful, then give some to the Hobbits. It's an Elven drink that Gandalf had." I shrug and take a mouthful.
"Whoa, that's better then vodka!" I grin at him as the warmth travels down my throat and through my chilled body. Boromir raises an eyebrow, and I turn to give the Hobbits some. I sigh in relief as I can see it take effect almost immediately.
"What do you say to fire?" Boromir says suddenly. "The choice seems now between fire or death, Gandalf. Doubtless we shall be hidden from all unfriendly eyes when the snow has covered us, but that will not help us."
"You can make a fire, if you can." Gandalf sighs wearily. "If there are any watchers that can endure this storm, then they can see us, fire or no." I huddle with the Hobbits for warmth as we watch with interest the others trying to light a fire. But not even Legolas or Gimli manages to light it. Finally, Gandalf reluctantly steps forward to do it. He picks up a bundle of wood, holds it aloft for a moment, then cries out "Naur an edraith ammen!" as he puts the wood onto his staff. It lights into blue and green flame and the Hobbits and I sigh happily as we put our hands to the fire. "If there are any to see, then I at least am revealed to them. I have written 'Gandalf is here' in signs that all can read from Rivendell to the mouths of Anduin."
"I thought the blue and green flames were a nice touch though. All magic-y and pretty." I say. Gandalf quirks the corner of his mouth up in amusement at what I say. "Impressive, that's all." I get up as Legolas gives me a glare and go and sit in Boromir's lap. He sighs and wraps his cloak around us both as we stare into the now red and orange flames. I relax into his embrace, then shiver as he nibbles on my ear. Legolas and Aragorn stare at us in scandalized shock. "What?" I say in a choked voice as Boromir does more nice stuff to my ear tip.
"He, he, he!" Legolas splutters.
"Mmmhhmmm?" I hum to encourage Boromir. Boromir puts his hand up my top. My eyelids start to flutter under this combined assault on my erogenous zones.
"He, you, ear, what?!"
"Yeeessssss?"
"Are you getting betrothed?" Aragorn asks in a direct fashion. I frown at him, what the? That was a weird question.
"I dooon't think so. Are we, Boromir?"
"Do you want to?" Boromir asks as he stops doing whatever and talks.
"No. I didn't say stop!" I say as his hand stops moving. Boromir chuckles and recommences his attentions to my ear, now alternately breathing and gently biting on the sensitive tip. "Ohhhh."
"He's biting your ear!" Legolas says angrily.
"That's not all he's doing." I mutter quietly. Obviously not quietly enough, because Legolas snarls, leaps over the fire and drags me out of Boromir's grasp. "Damn it, Legolas! Put me down!" It's really hard to sound dignified when you're upside down. I pound very carefully on Legolas's back. Sure, Legolas has a nice arse, but I never wanted to see it from this close! "Put me down, you prancing Elf!" Legolas puts me down away from Boromir. I glare at him, then kick him in the shins. "Stupid, stupid Elf!" I stalk back over to Boromir as Legolas rubs his shins and glares at me. Mostly, the Fellowship is laughing at Legolas, except for Aragorn and Gandalf. I glower at them all, then get my blanket out and roll myself up in it. "I hate you all." I turn my back to them and ignore them.
"C'mon, Cat, love, don't be like this." Boromir says softly as he runs his hand soothingly over my hair. "Legolas is a trifle straitlaced, is all." I hear Legolas give an angry snort. I relax despite myself.
"You are aware that I would kill him if we didn't need him." I say through the blanket. "Slowly, painfully, with dull edged knives." Boromir laughs softly.
"I feel a bit that way myself. But, c'mon, get up. We need to get out of this first, then you can kill him." Boromir offers. I sigh and sit up.
"Can't stay mad when you offer something like that. I mean, the Elf in pain, what more could a girl wish for?" He grins, looking very smug. I shake my finger at him. "You are still-" He takes my hand and starts to kiss it. "Mmmm."
"Could you two just stop it?" Merry says in a disgusted voice. I laugh and take my hand back. I feel much more cheerful now.
"Let's discuss how I'm gonna kill Legolas for interrupting. I have ideas. . ." Legolas squirms under my steady glare.
"Cat, I-"
"You're in trouble." I interrupt him. "For an Elf, you have an amazing lack of tact or good sense." He has the grace to look embarrassed. He tries to talk again, and I hold my hand up. "Talk to the hand, 'cause the ears aren't listening. You are a bad Elf. Maybe it's connected to the royalty thing. Bad, bad Elf." I scold him. Merry and Pippin are laughing loudly, and even Aragorn looks amused. "You, sirrah, are no gentle Elf!" I start to laugh myself. Hehehe. I love tormenting Legolas. He's turning all red and flustered.
"Leave Legolas alone, alright, Cat? When we get down off this mountain would be better." Boromir chides me gently and I nod in agreement.
"Only for you, Boromir, would I stop tormenting the Elf. It's just too much fun. Watch the tips of his ears, they turn red when he's embarrassed." I whisper to Boromir. Legolas' ears twitch and do that thing and we laugh softly.
Ok. I'm back. But I still carry such anger! Damn you to hell! Stupid computer! **smiles sweetly** oh, and thank you to my reviewers. You're so nice. I really do appreciate it. I just have been working on a HP fic. Which has over three hundred reviews, so you'd better get off your freaking arses! I mean that in a nice way, of course. Ahem. So we go on.
And then I find out one of my fics was deleted, and my updating anything not allowed! This will be the most awaited chapter ever. And that three hundred review story? That's the one that got deleted. Censorship bites.
We halt a little further on and eat lemblas. It's good, but I fantasize longingly about a cup of hot chocolate and a pain au chocolate, straight out of the oven, when the chocolate's still all gooey. And sweet chilli sauce on top. Mmmm. The wind dies down a bit and we get going while the going's good. Then the wind picks up again. I blink as the snow adheres itself to my eyelashes. The poor little Hobbits, if I'm doing this badly. I bend almost double as I try to force a way against the howling wind. Suddenly, we halt. And then the stones start to fall, among these weird and eerie noises. "Fuck!" I yelp as one crashes right in front of me. I jump backwards, and then Boromir grabs me and pulls into the side of the mountain. I stare in shock at the stone that would have made me an ex-Cat as it thuds into the ground where I had jumped to. The rest of the Fellowship follows Boromir's example as the stones continue to fall.
"We cannot go further tonight," Boromir calls out against the wind. "Let those call it the wind who will; there are fell voices on the air; and those stones are aimed at us." Damn straight! I nearly got hit!
"I do call it the wind," Aragorn yells back from his place at the top of the column, "But that does not make what you say untrue. There are many evil and unfriendly things in the world that have little love for those that go on two legs, and yet are not in league with Sauron, but have purposes of their own. Some have been in this world longer then he." I shiver and press into Boromir's warmth. Sauron's bad enough.
"Caradhas was called the Cruel, and had an ill name, long years ago, when rumor of Sauron had not been heard in these lands." And the dwarf makes his contribution. Can we make up our minds here?
"It matters little who is the enemy, if we can not beat off his attack." Gandalf shouts, his beard iced up, and his hat looking fit to run away.
"But what can we do?" Pippin calls out miserably. I smile at them, they're just too small. Not enough body warmth, not enough height, just . . .handicapped at this precise moment.
"Either stop where we are, or go back, it is no good going on." Well, the wizard is just full of happy news today. "- bottom of a long hard slope. We should have no shelter there from snow, or stones - or anything else." Now, that's really comforting.
"And it is no good going back while the storm holds," Aragorn shouts, hand held up to protect his face, "We have passed no place on the way up that offered more shelter then this cliff-wall we are under now."
"Shelter!" Sam mutters. "If this is shelter, then one wall and no roof make a house." I laugh weakly and settle down while we wait the storm out. I doze uneasily, my head leaning forward, then jerking it back when it slips too far. Boromir rubs my back comfortingly, as he stares out into the snow. I glance blearily around for the Hobbits, and stare at where they should be, behind Bill, but aren't. Just snow. The information processes through my numbed brain, and I leap to my feet and run over to the hillocks of snow. "Boromir! The Hobbits! Help me dig them out!" I start digging frantically and unearth Merry, who coughs and opens his eyes. Boromir digs out Pippin then Frodo.
"This will be the death of the halflings, Gandalf!" Boromir yells out as he stands Frodo on his feet. "It is useless to sit-"
I tune out as I try to get Sam to wake up. "C'mon Sam! Wake up!" He breathes shallowly through blue tinted lips, then opens his eyes. "Walk around, slap your hands together." He numbly does as I tell him. I lose track of the conversation as I make the Hobbits wake up and move around. A hand nudges my shoulder and Boromir offers me a leather flask. "What is that?"
"Miruvor. Take a mouthful, then give some to the Hobbits. It's an Elven drink that Gandalf had." I shrug and take a mouthful.
"Whoa, that's better then vodka!" I grin at him as the warmth travels down my throat and through my chilled body. Boromir raises an eyebrow, and I turn to give the Hobbits some. I sigh in relief as I can see it take effect almost immediately.
"What do you say to fire?" Boromir says suddenly. "The choice seems now between fire or death, Gandalf. Doubtless we shall be hidden from all unfriendly eyes when the snow has covered us, but that will not help us."
"You can make a fire, if you can." Gandalf sighs wearily. "If there are any watchers that can endure this storm, then they can see us, fire or no." I huddle with the Hobbits for warmth as we watch with interest the others trying to light a fire. But not even Legolas or Gimli manages to light it. Finally, Gandalf reluctantly steps forward to do it. He picks up a bundle of wood, holds it aloft for a moment, then cries out "Naur an edraith ammen!" as he puts the wood onto his staff. It lights into blue and green flame and the Hobbits and I sigh happily as we put our hands to the fire. "If there are any to see, then I at least am revealed to them. I have written 'Gandalf is here' in signs that all can read from Rivendell to the mouths of Anduin."
"I thought the blue and green flames were a nice touch though. All magic-y and pretty." I say. Gandalf quirks the corner of his mouth up in amusement at what I say. "Impressive, that's all." I get up as Legolas gives me a glare and go and sit in Boromir's lap. He sighs and wraps his cloak around us both as we stare into the now red and orange flames. I relax into his embrace, then shiver as he nibbles on my ear. Legolas and Aragorn stare at us in scandalized shock. "What?" I say in a choked voice as Boromir does more nice stuff to my ear tip.
"He, he, he!" Legolas splutters.
"Mmmhhmmm?" I hum to encourage Boromir. Boromir puts his hand up my top. My eyelids start to flutter under this combined assault on my erogenous zones.
"He, you, ear, what?!"
"Yeeessssss?"
"Are you getting betrothed?" Aragorn asks in a direct fashion. I frown at him, what the? That was a weird question.
"I dooon't think so. Are we, Boromir?"
"Do you want to?" Boromir asks as he stops doing whatever and talks.
"No. I didn't say stop!" I say as his hand stops moving. Boromir chuckles and recommences his attentions to my ear, now alternately breathing and gently biting on the sensitive tip. "Ohhhh."
"He's biting your ear!" Legolas says angrily.
"That's not all he's doing." I mutter quietly. Obviously not quietly enough, because Legolas snarls, leaps over the fire and drags me out of Boromir's grasp. "Damn it, Legolas! Put me down!" It's really hard to sound dignified when you're upside down. I pound very carefully on Legolas's back. Sure, Legolas has a nice arse, but I never wanted to see it from this close! "Put me down, you prancing Elf!" Legolas puts me down away from Boromir. I glare at him, then kick him in the shins. "Stupid, stupid Elf!" I stalk back over to Boromir as Legolas rubs his shins and glares at me. Mostly, the Fellowship is laughing at Legolas, except for Aragorn and Gandalf. I glower at them all, then get my blanket out and roll myself up in it. "I hate you all." I turn my back to them and ignore them.
"C'mon, Cat, love, don't be like this." Boromir says softly as he runs his hand soothingly over my hair. "Legolas is a trifle straitlaced, is all." I hear Legolas give an angry snort. I relax despite myself.
"You are aware that I would kill him if we didn't need him." I say through the blanket. "Slowly, painfully, with dull edged knives." Boromir laughs softly.
"I feel a bit that way myself. But, c'mon, get up. We need to get out of this first, then you can kill him." Boromir offers. I sigh and sit up.
"Can't stay mad when you offer something like that. I mean, the Elf in pain, what more could a girl wish for?" He grins, looking very smug. I shake my finger at him. "You are still-" He takes my hand and starts to kiss it. "Mmmm."
"Could you two just stop it?" Merry says in a disgusted voice. I laugh and take my hand back. I feel much more cheerful now.
"Let's discuss how I'm gonna kill Legolas for interrupting. I have ideas. . ." Legolas squirms under my steady glare.
"Cat, I-"
"You're in trouble." I interrupt him. "For an Elf, you have an amazing lack of tact or good sense." He has the grace to look embarrassed. He tries to talk again, and I hold my hand up. "Talk to the hand, 'cause the ears aren't listening. You are a bad Elf. Maybe it's connected to the royalty thing. Bad, bad Elf." I scold him. Merry and Pippin are laughing loudly, and even Aragorn looks amused. "You, sirrah, are no gentle Elf!" I start to laugh myself. Hehehe. I love tormenting Legolas. He's turning all red and flustered.
"Leave Legolas alone, alright, Cat? When we get down off this mountain would be better." Boromir chides me gently and I nod in agreement.
"Only for you, Boromir, would I stop tormenting the Elf. It's just too much fun. Watch the tips of his ears, they turn red when he's embarrassed." I whisper to Boromir. Legolas' ears twitch and do that thing and we laugh softly.