So now, after all that, we're heading back down the mountain. Damn I hate
this. Boromir and Aragorn had had to carry the Hobbits through this really
bad, deep drifty bit. I trip suddenly over a hidden rock and my hands
plunge through the snow onto a sharp rock underneath, cutting them open and
letting blood flow. I yelp in surprised pain, then throw back my head and
howl like a wolf as the mountain seizes me through the blood connection and
drags me down into itself. Cold is the overwhelming sensation; cold, and a
devastating icy rage. Why me? I cry to Caradhas, barely aware of my body as
I float in its consciousness.
Because I can, and I hate. It replies to me callously.
Let me go. I plead with it.
Why? You are warm, I feel you in myself and you are warm. I haven't been warm in an age at least.
Let me go or I die.
Do I care?
Let me go.
No. I have you now. Mine. A growl of possessiveness.
I feel Caradhas sift my memories, sighing as it comes across ones of my mother and Boromir. It is a very disconcerting feeling, like icy fingers pawing through my mind.
What is this? It presents me with a particularly poignant memory of my mother taking care of me.
Love. Let me go. I numbly repeat, feeling myself starting to slip further into the cold.
Yes.
Caradhas accepts its copies of my memories. I sense my memories and the feelings attached to them flicker through my mind, and the extremely weird feeling of them being spun off out of my head. It's kinda like having a tooth extracted while under anesthetic. You feel it, but you're distanced from it. I spin up gasping for breath, teeth chattering, still screaming at the pain and shock. "Oh god, oh god, oh god." Boromir is cradling me in his arms and I cling to him, chanting my litany, "Oh god, oh god, oh god. . ."
"What happened?" Boromir asks me gently.
"Caradhas." I gasp in a breath. "Caradhas seized my mind and drew me down through my blood." I look at my bloody hands, which are missing areas of skin.
"You froze to the rock." Legolas says as he crouches next to Boromir. "We had to pull you off."
"Gah." Words are not coming. In fact, all the words are running away into the sunset, yelling back nasty things and sounding strangely like the ginger bread man. I suddenly jump up, nearly knocking out Boromir's head on the way, throw back my head and scream into the sky, "Whoever the FUCK it is that's screwing around with me, better get down here right now so I can kick its arse!" No irate gods come down to answer my foolish challenge. "Cowards!" I stomp off, away from the flabbergasted Fellowship, swearing loudly and continuously at, well, just about everything. "Hate this fucking world, oh yes I do. And I hate every misbegotten thing in it. Hate the fucking superior, snooty, goddamn annoying irritating Elves who all need to go and have a good shag. Well, actually, that's about all I hate." I pause, frown and think for a moment. "Ah, I hate the snow. Yes, definitely hate the snow. And there's no FUCKING coffee!" I whirl around and glare at the Fellowship. "You can all just sod off! Disappear back into Tolkien's mind, or wherever the fuck you came from and let me wake up, go home, and get back to my fairly normal life! Back to where I don't have to talk to people, and, and can hide in the bush and pretend my bitch of a day didn't happen. Where I can be mocked and humiliated, but hey, that's alright because at least there aren't things trying to eat me because I'm WARM!" I kick at the stone, tears running down my face again. "Fucking mountain! Come up here and kiss my arse, you fucking son of a bitch!" I growl, as it doesn't appear that it's happening and feeling this irrational need to make something bleed and whimper in pain.
"Cat?" Boromir walks over to me, and I look up at him. My mouth twists bitterly. Want to love me? Gotta fight for it.
I slide my sword out of my scabbard and warn him off. "Something's gonna bleed today, and I already am." I throw the sword away and look past him. Legolas. Perfect. I dodge Boromir, and go for Legolas instead. My first punch catches him by surprise, and then he's back up in my face. I can hear myself laughing somewhere, but that's all right because I need to bleed, need to fight something that's here. I laugh and my mouth is aching with it and then Leggy ain't fighting me anymore, just holding my arms away as I laugh myself into a kind of sanity. "Sorry and thanks, Leggy babe." I close my eyes in relief as the weird feeling goes away.
"Babe? I am almost three thousand years old." Legolas sounds quite insulted.
"Different world, terms have changed. Quite a bit, though you can still call a baby babe, also means whoah, hot sexy guy, or friend, or lots of stuff. Term of endearment. And that was me needing to touch base with reality, because I'm still a bit wigged by the whole mountain thing." I add on in a murmur so only he can hear, "And it was either fight someone, or do naughty things with Boromir, and I don't see many places to hide, do you?" His ears blush very faintly at the top, and I detach myself from his now nerveless hands. "Thanks again. Is this the part where I cry and get your top all wet again?" I grin at him, feeling much better. "He's real good at the older brother thing, ya know." I tell the others and Legolas' ears flush redder. I reach up and ruffle his hair, he grabs my hand and looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I push my lower lip out and pout at him. A smile appears on his face as I stick my tongue out at him and cross my eyes. He lets go of my hand and I bounce, well I would be bouncing if the snow didn't cling to my feet, over to Boromir and fling my arms around him. He hugs me back, then his hands slide down my back and I stand on tiptoes and wriggle. A growl of interest and ownership and I look up at him; slowly lick my upper lip, mischief dancing through my eyes.
"And you're back with us?"
"But barely. Scary, dear god, but that was terrifying. Goddamn mountain. Stole my memories right out of my head." I pout and then hide my face against his shoulder. "Can I just say once more that was one of the most terrifying things that has happened to me while I'm here? What is it with the evil things that get into my head and want to eat me?" I whine in irritation. "I mean, I know I'm cute and all, but damn!"
"Not just cute, a beauty beyond words. A vision. An enchantment that would enthrall the world, if they had but eyes to see." Boromir's voice slips into the mode I have tagged 'courtly lover' in my head. Deep voice, syllables carefully enunciated, and a whole nother way of speaking.
"Mmm, pretty." I mumble into his chest and he strokes my hair. Aragorn politely coughs, and we step apart, my face a little flushed and grinning wildly.
"Shall we continue? We still have many miles to cover before dark." Arargorn turns and starts down the hill again. Well, mountain really, but a general downwards direction. I poke my tongue out at his back and slip my hand in Boromir's as we follow him.
"I really feel like singing again." I confide to Boromir thoughtfully.
"So sing something. As Gandalf said, anything that is looking for us knows where we are, and what we are doing. So sing, lift our spirits."
"I'll just clarify that this was written by a guy, ok?" He nods, looking at me with amusement as I open my mouth and swing into Shaggy's 'Wasn't me.' "Alright, honey came in and she caught me redhanded, sleeping with the girl next door, picture this we were both caught naked, banging on the bathroom floor. How could I forget that I had given her an extra key? All this time she was standing there, she never took her eyes off me." Legolas is giving me odd looks, so I wave at him with my free hand. I skip the rap bit, because I never understood it anyway. "But she caught me on the counter. Wasn't me. Caught me banging on the sofa. Wasn't me." I drop my voice on each 'wasn't me' so I sound a little bit more like what I remember. The Hobbits are smiling as I sing, so hey, done some good work there. "She saw the marks on my shoulder. Wasn't me. Heard the words that I told her. Wasn't me. Heard the screams getting louder. Wasn't me. She said I said it was over!
"Honey came in and she caught me redhanded sleeping with the girl next door." I start the chorus again, and Merry starts to sing along with me. Aw, the little Hobbit is so cute! And actually a good singer. Nice light tenor voice. I take my hand out of Boromir's and start to make large gestures to go with the song. The words change, but Merry only stumbles for a second and sings what I sing. I give him a thumbs up. "I had tried to keep her from what she was about to see, why should she believe me when I tell her it wasn't me?" I sing the next rap bit because this one had actually been understandable. The Hobbits laugh along with me as I start the next chorus and verse. "Wanna tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused." My voice spirals upwards, getting louder as my touch with reality comes rushing back. "I've been listening to your reasoning, it makes no sense at all." Merry keeps joining me on the choruses and then we finish. I bow my head and the other Hobbits clap. "Well, that was fun." I grin at Merry, who smiles back.
"Interesting song."
"Written by a man, may I just elucidate you all? Guy talking to another guy about a girl."
"When we reach the bottom and Aragorn lets us rest, will you sing again? Your songs.have such emotion in them." Legolas says almost wistfully. "It is interesting to compare techniques and lyrics."
"Well, the songs aren't mine, and I just open my mouth and let the song come out. Good natural voice, no training. Sure, it's cool, Leggy. I'll sing." I smile at him and he smiles back. I think he is very lonely on this journey. There are no other Elves for him to talk to. I am (supposedly) half an Elf, so I have the blood, but Aragorn has the language and the soul of an Elf. But he's just.not. Poor Aragorn. Not Elf, but not really human either. Way big destiny laid on him. Yuck, way big thoughts for going down a mountain on, so I shake them out of my head and start thinking about what I can sing tonight.
Because I can, and I hate. It replies to me callously.
Let me go. I plead with it.
Why? You are warm, I feel you in myself and you are warm. I haven't been warm in an age at least.
Let me go or I die.
Do I care?
Let me go.
No. I have you now. Mine. A growl of possessiveness.
I feel Caradhas sift my memories, sighing as it comes across ones of my mother and Boromir. It is a very disconcerting feeling, like icy fingers pawing through my mind.
What is this? It presents me with a particularly poignant memory of my mother taking care of me.
Love. Let me go. I numbly repeat, feeling myself starting to slip further into the cold.
Yes.
Caradhas accepts its copies of my memories. I sense my memories and the feelings attached to them flicker through my mind, and the extremely weird feeling of them being spun off out of my head. It's kinda like having a tooth extracted while under anesthetic. You feel it, but you're distanced from it. I spin up gasping for breath, teeth chattering, still screaming at the pain and shock. "Oh god, oh god, oh god." Boromir is cradling me in his arms and I cling to him, chanting my litany, "Oh god, oh god, oh god. . ."
"What happened?" Boromir asks me gently.
"Caradhas." I gasp in a breath. "Caradhas seized my mind and drew me down through my blood." I look at my bloody hands, which are missing areas of skin.
"You froze to the rock." Legolas says as he crouches next to Boromir. "We had to pull you off."
"Gah." Words are not coming. In fact, all the words are running away into the sunset, yelling back nasty things and sounding strangely like the ginger bread man. I suddenly jump up, nearly knocking out Boromir's head on the way, throw back my head and scream into the sky, "Whoever the FUCK it is that's screwing around with me, better get down here right now so I can kick its arse!" No irate gods come down to answer my foolish challenge. "Cowards!" I stomp off, away from the flabbergasted Fellowship, swearing loudly and continuously at, well, just about everything. "Hate this fucking world, oh yes I do. And I hate every misbegotten thing in it. Hate the fucking superior, snooty, goddamn annoying irritating Elves who all need to go and have a good shag. Well, actually, that's about all I hate." I pause, frown and think for a moment. "Ah, I hate the snow. Yes, definitely hate the snow. And there's no FUCKING coffee!" I whirl around and glare at the Fellowship. "You can all just sod off! Disappear back into Tolkien's mind, or wherever the fuck you came from and let me wake up, go home, and get back to my fairly normal life! Back to where I don't have to talk to people, and, and can hide in the bush and pretend my bitch of a day didn't happen. Where I can be mocked and humiliated, but hey, that's alright because at least there aren't things trying to eat me because I'm WARM!" I kick at the stone, tears running down my face again. "Fucking mountain! Come up here and kiss my arse, you fucking son of a bitch!" I growl, as it doesn't appear that it's happening and feeling this irrational need to make something bleed and whimper in pain.
"Cat?" Boromir walks over to me, and I look up at him. My mouth twists bitterly. Want to love me? Gotta fight for it.
I slide my sword out of my scabbard and warn him off. "Something's gonna bleed today, and I already am." I throw the sword away and look past him. Legolas. Perfect. I dodge Boromir, and go for Legolas instead. My first punch catches him by surprise, and then he's back up in my face. I can hear myself laughing somewhere, but that's all right because I need to bleed, need to fight something that's here. I laugh and my mouth is aching with it and then Leggy ain't fighting me anymore, just holding my arms away as I laugh myself into a kind of sanity. "Sorry and thanks, Leggy babe." I close my eyes in relief as the weird feeling goes away.
"Babe? I am almost three thousand years old." Legolas sounds quite insulted.
"Different world, terms have changed. Quite a bit, though you can still call a baby babe, also means whoah, hot sexy guy, or friend, or lots of stuff. Term of endearment. And that was me needing to touch base with reality, because I'm still a bit wigged by the whole mountain thing." I add on in a murmur so only he can hear, "And it was either fight someone, or do naughty things with Boromir, and I don't see many places to hide, do you?" His ears blush very faintly at the top, and I detach myself from his now nerveless hands. "Thanks again. Is this the part where I cry and get your top all wet again?" I grin at him, feeling much better. "He's real good at the older brother thing, ya know." I tell the others and Legolas' ears flush redder. I reach up and ruffle his hair, he grabs my hand and looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I push my lower lip out and pout at him. A smile appears on his face as I stick my tongue out at him and cross my eyes. He lets go of my hand and I bounce, well I would be bouncing if the snow didn't cling to my feet, over to Boromir and fling my arms around him. He hugs me back, then his hands slide down my back and I stand on tiptoes and wriggle. A growl of interest and ownership and I look up at him; slowly lick my upper lip, mischief dancing through my eyes.
"And you're back with us?"
"But barely. Scary, dear god, but that was terrifying. Goddamn mountain. Stole my memories right out of my head." I pout and then hide my face against his shoulder. "Can I just say once more that was one of the most terrifying things that has happened to me while I'm here? What is it with the evil things that get into my head and want to eat me?" I whine in irritation. "I mean, I know I'm cute and all, but damn!"
"Not just cute, a beauty beyond words. A vision. An enchantment that would enthrall the world, if they had but eyes to see." Boromir's voice slips into the mode I have tagged 'courtly lover' in my head. Deep voice, syllables carefully enunciated, and a whole nother way of speaking.
"Mmm, pretty." I mumble into his chest and he strokes my hair. Aragorn politely coughs, and we step apart, my face a little flushed and grinning wildly.
"Shall we continue? We still have many miles to cover before dark." Arargorn turns and starts down the hill again. Well, mountain really, but a general downwards direction. I poke my tongue out at his back and slip my hand in Boromir's as we follow him.
"I really feel like singing again." I confide to Boromir thoughtfully.
"So sing something. As Gandalf said, anything that is looking for us knows where we are, and what we are doing. So sing, lift our spirits."
"I'll just clarify that this was written by a guy, ok?" He nods, looking at me with amusement as I open my mouth and swing into Shaggy's 'Wasn't me.' "Alright, honey came in and she caught me redhanded, sleeping with the girl next door, picture this we were both caught naked, banging on the bathroom floor. How could I forget that I had given her an extra key? All this time she was standing there, she never took her eyes off me." Legolas is giving me odd looks, so I wave at him with my free hand. I skip the rap bit, because I never understood it anyway. "But she caught me on the counter. Wasn't me. Caught me banging on the sofa. Wasn't me." I drop my voice on each 'wasn't me' so I sound a little bit more like what I remember. The Hobbits are smiling as I sing, so hey, done some good work there. "She saw the marks on my shoulder. Wasn't me. Heard the words that I told her. Wasn't me. Heard the screams getting louder. Wasn't me. She said I said it was over!
"Honey came in and she caught me redhanded sleeping with the girl next door." I start the chorus again, and Merry starts to sing along with me. Aw, the little Hobbit is so cute! And actually a good singer. Nice light tenor voice. I take my hand out of Boromir's and start to make large gestures to go with the song. The words change, but Merry only stumbles for a second and sings what I sing. I give him a thumbs up. "I had tried to keep her from what she was about to see, why should she believe me when I tell her it wasn't me?" I sing the next rap bit because this one had actually been understandable. The Hobbits laugh along with me as I start the next chorus and verse. "Wanna tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused." My voice spirals upwards, getting louder as my touch with reality comes rushing back. "I've been listening to your reasoning, it makes no sense at all." Merry keeps joining me on the choruses and then we finish. I bow my head and the other Hobbits clap. "Well, that was fun." I grin at Merry, who smiles back.
"Interesting song."
"Written by a man, may I just elucidate you all? Guy talking to another guy about a girl."
"When we reach the bottom and Aragorn lets us rest, will you sing again? Your songs.have such emotion in them." Legolas says almost wistfully. "It is interesting to compare techniques and lyrics."
"Well, the songs aren't mine, and I just open my mouth and let the song come out. Good natural voice, no training. Sure, it's cool, Leggy. I'll sing." I smile at him and he smiles back. I think he is very lonely on this journey. There are no other Elves for him to talk to. I am (supposedly) half an Elf, so I have the blood, but Aragorn has the language and the soul of an Elf. But he's just.not. Poor Aragorn. Not Elf, but not really human either. Way big destiny laid on him. Yuck, way big thoughts for going down a mountain on, so I shake them out of my head and start thinking about what I can sing tonight.