Note: I have no idea what Ryoga's parents are named.
Charlotte's Web
Chapter 27
Family: The Tie that Binds People to Chairs!
"You have got to be kidding." Kasumi repeated.
"But . . . we're not. If we have the wrong address we're terribly sorry,"
"It wouldn't surprise me at all if we did have the wrong place," The second form said. It-she(?) turned on her companion.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" The first demanded.
"Can't you ask for directions just once in your life?"
"I could, I used to too, but then I realized they weren't doing me any good, dear."
"Well I'm not beyond asking for directions!" She snapped. Then to Kasumi in a voice so polite it almost made her forget that the figure had been yelling a moment ago, she asked, "Where is the Tendo training hall? Do you know?"
"Well of course I do, you are at the Tendo Training Hall, but you can't be here for Ryoga!"
"And why not?" Both said together.
"Well we never sent any message out for his parents to come, and it seems rather coincidental that you would show up now, you must be assassins hired by Mr. Saotome!"
"Wow! I hired assassins? I sure was on top of things." Genma said proudly.
Lotion looked hurt. "How could you hire assassins . . . and not come to me first!?" She screamed at Saotome. It was the first thing she'd said all day. Kasumi wished she'd remained quiet.
"Eh . . . I'm sorry . . . do I know you?" Genma asked Lotion.
The young Chinese girl scoffed and crossed her arms. "I have nothing to say to you or anyone else! You have offended my honor and-"
"I thought you had nothing to say." Nabiki said monotonously.
"MMMM!!!" Lotion scowled.
Meanwhile Cologne decided it'd been too long since she'd pestered future son-in-law. So she went over to the Tendo training hall. When she arrived she found Kasumi negotiating with two visitors, very unlike her. "Hello Kasumi." Cologne said.
"Oh! Hello Cologne." Kasumi said. "Ryoga said something about you telling Akari not to break his legs, that was very kind of you."
"Who is trying to break our son's legs?!" One of the visitors cried.
"We do what we can for those we can help." Cologne said benevolently.
"Oh wont you come in?" Kasumi asked.
"I shall." Cologne nodded.
"What about us? Where is our son?" The other visitor cried.
"Oh . . . right . . ." Kasumi scratched her head.
"Just let them in, it will rain soon." Cologne said.
"Yes. Okay." Kasumi said. "Come in please."
"It's about time." The woman scoffed.
Cologne came inside and saw Ryoga coming out of a swoon, Nabiki looking really annoyed with him, Nodoka checking her watch, Genma cringing under the hateful gaze of . . . Lo-Chun!
"Wak! What are you doing here?!" Cologne scowled at the young Amazon. "Didn't you go back to the village yet?"
Lotion scowled, then tried to say something, but didn't. Cologne chuckled. Then she turned to Ranma, who'd just doused himself with a kettle of hot water. "Hello future son-in-law. I trust you have been well."
"About as well as I can be." Ranma scoffed. "Ever since you started bugging Ryoga instead of me, life has been cake."
"Is that so . . . well . . . I have great news. I've decided to mix work with pleasure." Cologne said.
"Eh . . . yeah, good fer you." Ranma shrugged. "Not that I care, what does that mean?"
"It means you cant-eh I mean you *can* have your cake and eat it too." Cologne grinned. "Don't go anywhere, you'll want to see this."
"Eh . . . okay."
The two strangers came in, Ryoga came around immediately. "I was having the most wonderful dream!" He cried. "Except you were there!" he pointed to Nabiki. "And you! And you!" He pointed to Kasumi and Ranma respectively. "And you (Soun), and you (Akane), and . . . who are you again?" He pointed to Lo-Chun.
The young assassin's face became a perfect picture of fury and she reached into some unseen pocket, took out a piece of paper and a crayon that was nearly spent, she wrote a note and handed it to Ryoga.
"I am the feared assassin Han Lo-Chun" Ryoga read out loud. "Oh yeah, I remember you."
"Do you remember us?" One of the visitors asked. He bore a slight resemblance to Ryoga,
Cologne immediately assumed he was some relative. Said something about Ryoga being his son? This gave her an idea.
"Father?"
"He's not insane!" Ryoga's father cried happily.
"And mother?" Ryoga frowned. "What are you two doing here?"
"We met at an Okonomyaki restaurant." Ryoga's mother said.
"The clerk said she knew you, and that you usually hung out at the Tendo Training Hall. We decided to come see you, to spend some time as a family again." His father added.
"How sweet." Nodoka said. "I wish I could be with my husband and son . . ."
"We're right here dear." Genma said.
Nodoka nodded. "Yes, I know but you see I don't have time to spend with you, it's ten, the pilots will be here for the threesome."
"Why god? Why!?" Genma cried. "She said she'd be her normal old self when we got back!"
"I lied." Nodoka said simply. The doorbell rang, Kasumi answered it and two rather attractive men came inside asking for "The Widow Saotome"
"Aha, well Kasumi, we're off to perform our filthy acts of adultery in your bedroom."
"Some times it's hard not to scream." Kasumi mumbled.
"Excuse me young men, do you know that woman is my wife?" Genma demanded.
"Did you know we don't care?" One of the pilots asked.
"Don't worry honey, this is the last time I'll go outside of our marriage, I promise." Nodoka said.
Cologne scratched her head. This was new . . .
But then she didn't care.
"Ryoga, why don't you introduce us to everyone?" Ryoga's mother suggested.
"Er . . . right. Uh . . . lets see . . . well eh . . . Ranma, mom'n'dad, mom'n'dad Ranma, Akane, mom'n'dad, mom'n'dad, Akane."
This went on for quite a while. Lotion's introduction took some time because Ryoga introduced her full title, "The Feared Amazonian Warrioress-Assassin Hand Lotion"
The last person he introduced was Nabiki. "And this is my fiancée-"
Cologne sprung, she splashed Ranma with cold water and shoved him forward, Ranko was what Ryoga's parents saw, Ryoga saw Ranko and yelped "Ranma!"
"You're engaged to this fine young lady?" Ryoga's father exclaimed. "Son, how on earth did you get so lucky?"
Cologne expected Nabiki to be furious, to her surprise the middle Tendo was holding back laughter.
Well if not for Ryoga and future son-in-law's obvious agonized embarrassment Cologne would have called the whole thing a failed attempt at cruelty. She'd have to mix business with pleasure more often, she needed practice.
"N-no, this isn't my fiancée-" Ryoga said, Ranko cut him off.
"So I'm not good enough for ya?" She demanded.
Ryoga blinked. He stared at Ranko for a moment. "Have you lost it Ranma?"
Ranma thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, yer right, yer not man enough for me anyway."
Now Nabiki failed to contain her laughter, Lotion even giggled, Kasumi was smiling, Soun and Genma looked confused, Akane was outraged.
"Ranma, stop teasing Ryoga!" Akane shoved Ranma aside and apologized to Ryoga's parents.
"You'll have to forgive him-eh her, he-er she is a jerk. Your son is actually engaged to my sister, Nabiki. And *I* was the first one to know they were in love." Akane said proudly.
"Yes, she knew before anyone else-your son and our sister included-even cared." Kasumi said.
"Oh . . . that's too bad, that one was cute." Ryoga's mother said.
"Believe me, you don't want that one as your daughter-in-law." Akane glared at Ranko, who put her hands up in surrender.
"Gee Akane, cant a girl have a wee bit 'o fun?"
"So son, you didn't introduce us to Nabiki, which one is she? The one with the sword? She seems a bit old for you, but then-" Ryoga's father was saying.
"I'm Nabiki." Nabiki said calmly.
Ryoga's mother forced a smile. "I was afraid of that."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Nabiki growled.
"Oh nothing. Lots of girls dress like . . . that."
"Like what?!" Nabiki demanded.
"Oh nothing, nothing!" Ryoga's father threw a hand over his wife's mouth.
Ryoga's mother bit her husband's hand with sharp canines, apparently Ryoga got the fangs from her side of the family.
"Well . . . this is entertaining." Cologne said.
"Indeed." Kasumi nodded. "I wish I had a video camera, this would take Weeks of our Lives right off the air."
"Oh, you watch Weeks of our Lives?" Ryoga's mother exclaimed. "I've missed the last twenty episodes, tell me, did Gray tell Lori he loved her?"
"Yes. Then he broke up with her and then got back together with her, got her pregnant, killed his evil twin brother who then got together with Andrea . . . or was it Angora? Anyway they had a baby but for some reason Lori is still pregnant, their child is named Brian junior."
"Brian junior?"
"Yes. And then Ray went into a coma, and now Jennifer is waiting for him to wake up so she can tell him that she's pregnant with his child."
"But she's five years old!"
"Yes, but there is another Jennifer, the twenty six year old Jennifer from the future, she had a time machine and she went into the past to warn Ray that he'd be going into a coma and-"
"Kasumi, that is all very nice, but for those of us who think soap operas are stupid, and ridiculous, and also don't know what the heck you're talking about, please be quiet." Soun said, massaging his forehead.
"Yes father." Kasumi sighed.
"You should marry that one, son." Ryoga's mother said. "She has good taste in television shows."
"I watch Weeks of our Lives too!" Nabiki cried.
"Oh really?" Ryoga's mother raised an eyebrow.
"Yes."
"I can vouch that." Lo-Chun nodded.
"Then tell me, what is Billy's favorite thing in the world?"
Cologne watched the middle Tendo try to figure it out. "Eh . . . cigarettes?"
"Anyone could have known that!" Ryoga's mother scowled.
"I have a great idea," Ryoga said, "how about if, before you judged her, you got to know Nabiki . . . no . . . no that might not work . . ."
"Now Ryoga, I think that's a great idea." Kasumi enthused.
"Yes . . . once they really know her, get to know how truly evil she is, they'll hate her even more." Cologne nodded.
"You know elder, you do not have to comment on *everything*." Lo-Chun informed Cologne.
Cologne scowled. "I knew you'd remember how to speak eventually."
"Well, they don't like me much, do they?" Nabiki scoffed as she shoved Ryoga towards the bed.
"Eh . . . no, I cant say they do." Ryoga nodded.
"Do you think they'll come around?"
"They had better, or I'll be forced to disown them." Ryoga said seriously, Nabiki laughed bitterly. She was about to take her shirt off when there was a knock on the door. "It never ends!" Nabiki moaned. She stomped over to the door and opened it, there was Kasumi.
"Aha, Nabiki, I've managed to convince father that allowing you to have sex with Ryoga doesn't constitute to actual punishment."
"Ryoga, please tell whoever it is at the door that I'm still not talking to them."
"Eh, she say's"
"Yes, I heard her." Kasumi said sadly. "Anyway I think it'd be best if Ryoga slept in the guest room with his parents and Ranma and Mr. Saotome."
"Will Nodoka be there?" Nabiki broke her vow of silence towards Kasumi to ask that one vital question."
"No, she's unconscious in my room." Kasumi said. "As such I will be sleeping in the dojo with Hand Lotion."
"Oooh! But that's not proper!"
"She's a girl Nabiki."
"Yeah, and we all know your sexual preferences!" Nabiki said wildly.
Kasumi frowned. "You have to learn when to just give up Nabiki."
"I know!" Nabiki whined. She stomped over to her bed, and sighed. "Fine then, take my beloved fiancée from me in my moment of heat, I'll just go see if maybe one of the pilots is still hanging around here."
"What!" Ryoga protested.
"Don't listen to her, I made sure they left right away." Kasumi said to Ryoga. "Military men in a house full of innocent young flowers-and Ranma-I couldn't let them stay for a moment longer than necessary." She turned to Nabiki. "To any sisters I might have who want to pretend I don't exist because I don't want them having pre-marital sex, I just wanted to note that I heard Ryoga's mother make a comment about how you're better than 'the pig farmer' but not so good as 'the billionaire's daughter', at least she understands you're better than Akari."
"Oh great. And who is this billionaire's daughter?" Nabiki demanded.
"Gotta go now!" Ryoga said, "much to talk about with mom and dad y'know, see ya!"
"Hey! Hey you said you hadn't had any other girlfriends before me and Akari!"
"I haven't. See you tomorrow!" Ryoga said, running off. Kasumi shook her head.
"Don't worry Nabiki, I'm sure they'll get to know you better and then they'll . . . uh . . . oh . . . well maybe you could be on your best behavior for now."
Nabiki glared. "Oh right, you're still not talking to me." Kasumi frowned. "Well, maybe tomorrow you could wear that blue sweater with the white pants you usually wear . . . instead of those short shorts that you decided to cut even shorter . . . just a suggestion."
"BUT THAT'S A WINTER OUTFIT! IT'S SPRING!" Nabiki exploded.
Kasumi smiled warmly, "Aha, you talked to me."
"I talked towards you."
"Good enough for me." Kasumi said. "Bye!" She hugged Nabiki and left. Nabiki glared after her.
"Look, mother, I know maybe Nabiki can look a little . . ." Ryoga searched for the correct word. He was going to say "evil" or "like a female version of the devil", his mother however had a very different definition for the middle Tendo:
"'Look a little' like a the sort of woman who stands on the side of the street with a trench coat; which she opens for each passerby and asks them if they want to 'party' because that's the only way she can make enough money to feed her starving children who have resorted to incest as a form of entertainment because the house has no cable, phones, radio or even windows?"
Ryoga blinked. "Wow, you really don't like her!"
"Oh don't be silly Ryoga, she's lovely."
Ryoga gawked at his mother. "You . . . you just said-"
"Come now son, it's not what you say that counts, it's what you do."
"I guess . . ." Ryoga scratched his head. "Could you just be a little nicer to her?"
"Why? Wasn't I nice?" Mother asked.
"No, you were horrible!" Ryoga scowled.
"Can't a person get some sleep?" Ryoga's father grumbled.
"Look, I love her okay-"
"Of course son. It's natural for a young boy to think you're in love with a girl when you're not."
"But I *am*!" Ryoga scowled.
"Certainly you feel that way. Of course you just forgot all about Harume."
"Who?"
"You know, Yoshimi Harume, the daughter of billionaire Kotaro Harume, head of Harume Enterprises, heiress to a fortune large enough to found a country, the girl who so desperately tried to get you to fall in love with her."
"We were five!" Ryoga cried.
"Yes, and you broke her heart."
"I wasn't interested in girls then, I was *five*!"
"So you're saying if you could come into contact with her again you'd marry her instead?"
"No! I love Nabiki, I want to marry her, I'm engaged to *her*, I don't care if she's evil, I don't care if she's blackmailed me time and time again, I don't care if she's sex-obsessed-"
"I'd call that a plus." Ryoga's father added.
"I don't care that you don't like her, mother, because I will marry her."
"Unless she changes *her* mind?"
"Yes?" Ryoga stared at his mother. "What are you planning?"
"I asked your friend with the pigtail about her . . . turns out she'll do anything for the right price . . ."
"You're going to pay her to break up with me?" Ryoga scowled.
"No, we're going to have Yoshimi Harume pay her to break up with you, then you'll be free to wed her and we can enter the seat of power in the new empire that her father will build. If this Nabiki really loves you, she will refuse the money and not break up with you."
"That's just dumb." Ryoga scoffed. He knew Nabiki would never refuse money if it were offered to her in a large enough amount!
"Dumb like a moose, Ryoga, dumb like a moose!"
"You know Nabiki was planning on making her own empire too, she was all set up to buy an island, then I failed to win her one million American dollars and . . . oh why do I bother? I'll make you a deal mother, if Nabiki shows more strength of character than you expected and refuses Yoshimi's money, then you have to pay for the wedding."
"That's dumb."
"Dumb like a moose, mother, dumb like a moose!"
"Oh alright." Ryoga's mother sighed.
"And one more thing," Ryoga said.
"What?"
"Please, *please* don't piss her off."
"Why would I do that?" Mother cried innocently.
"I'm warning you, at her disposal are powers against which you cannot hope to contend." Ryoga said, perhaps he was exaggerating a bit, yet Nabiki was like a goddess to him, both in body and mind, but also because of the strange powers she seemed to have over people.
"Oh really? Well then, young man, let us see who has true power, when I get Yoshimi and her father down here."
"Nabiki will bankrupt their company and found her own." Ryoga warned. Actually he hoped she did, that'd show mother who the crack whore was. No, that wasn't fair, Ryoga hadn't seen Yoshimi for eleven years, maybe she was just a regular whore.
The next day, Nabiki woke much earlier than anyone else, she showered and dressed quickly, and decided to check on Ryoga, maybe they could make out or something before Kasumi woke up.
However she found Ryoga sound asleep, Ranma and Genma were too, but Ryoga's parents were awake and chatting. They stopped when they saw her, his father smiled and waved, his mother scowled at her.
Nabiki wondered if maybe Kasumi was right about being on her best behavior. "Good morning!" She said cheerfully. "How are you today?"
"Fine, thanks." Mr. Hibiki shrugged.
"I just learned my son was engaged to a silly little slut, how would you be? My glass heart shattered."
Nabiki decided Kasumi was an idiot. "Really? Are you sure it was made of glass, not ice?" Nabiki growled. Ryoga's mother glared at her, electricity snapped between the two of them for a moment, though Nabiki didn't realize it her fists clenched. Eventually the older woman averted her gaze first, Nabiki was left feeling as if she'd had some strange sort of victory.
"Well," Nabiki said cheerfully, "why don't we have a quick little chat?"
"Oh that would be lovely." Ryoga's mother said coolly.
"Eh . . . chat? About what?" Ryoga's father asked.
Nabiki sat down across from Ryoga's mother. "So," she said, "I see Ryoga gets his fangs from you-"
"They aren't fangs, I don't appreciate you calling them that."
"But you call them fangs all the time hon-ooff!" Ryoga's father began, but was cut off by an elbow in the chest.
"I'm terribly sorry." Nabiki said. "You know, Ryoga sends Akane all sorts of souvenirs from the places he visits, he goes to such interesting places, have you ever been to someplace really interesting?"
"Of course not."
"Don't be modest honey. The whole family does a fair amount of traveling actually."
"Right, the sense of direction thing . . ." Nabiki trailed off, and as she expected Ryoga's mother erupted.
"I don't have a bad sense of direction!" She hissed.
As she expected, Ryoga's father gave the truthful answer. "Honey, it's nothing to be ashamed of!"
"Look," Nabiki said, "why don't we go for a walk?" She offered. "I'll bet you don't come by this place often, let me show you around town!"
"Not on your life!"
"That'd be wonderful!"
Later that day Ryoga woke early (but not so early as Nabiki) and found his way to the kitchen,
Kasumi was there, she looked to be lacking sleep, "Good morning." Ryoga offered.
"She wouldn't shut up!" Kasumi growled. "She wanted to start a fire and roast marshmallows! She wanted to show me how to throw steak knives, then she expected me to kiss her finger when she pricked herself on one of them!"
"Are we talking about the assassin?"
"YES!"
"Oh . . . okay." Ryoga blinked. "Maybe you should get a little more rest?" He offered.
"Rest? REST!? Impossible! I have to cook, I have to clean, I have to-"
"You have a slave for all that, remember?" Ryoga said.
Kasumi looked right through him. "You're right . . . where is he? Ryoga! RYOGA!" She shouted.
"I'm right here Kasumi." Ryoga said. "I think you need to get some sleep."
"Yes . . . yes . . . sleep . . . must sleep . . . sleep is good . . ."
"I'll make breakfast." Ryoga assured her.
"Hmm . . . we're all going to die . . . but I must rest . . . oh my . . . please don't use any vinegar, Akane."
"Eh . . . I wont." Ryoga blinked.
"Good night . . ." Kasumi said, she stumbled off into the dining room and fell asleep on the table. Ryoga went to work preparing food, he made an extravagant dinner of noodles because when it came right down to it he was cooking for maybe a dozen people and that was the only thing he could prepare quickly.
Akane came downstairs before anyone else, she smiled at Ryoga and said, "You're cooking? You should have woken me up, I'd have helped you!"
"Sorry, you know me and my sense of direction." Ryoga said with a forced smile. 'And I want my parents to *live* long enough to accept Nabiki.' He thought.
"Wow! These are great! Did you make them from scratch?"
"I can't make noodles from-I mean yes. Yes I did. Good aren't they?" Ryoga grinned.
"Oh they're the best!" Akane cried.
"Enough! No more flirting with my man!" Ryoga thought Nabiki had said it, to his surprise it was Ranko.
"Oh, hi Ranma." He said lamely.
"Oh don't be that way, what with our engagement!"
"I really wish you hadn't reminded me of that, I blame my mother's dislike of Nabiki purely on the bad introduction."
"And whose fault was that?" Ranko scoffed.
"Cologne's mostly." Ryoga shrugged.
"Really? I was going to blame you." Ranko said.
"Hey, I wanted to introduce her last, all dramatic like, and then maybe emphasize my emotion by kissing her, or holding her or something romantic-"
"You're a sick boy."
"But then Cologne shoves you forward and you play along and humiliate me and confuse my parents-hey, it's your fault too!" He showed some noodles into the redhead's mouth, which never seemed to close, even when she ate. "Now sit down, eat up." Ryoga said with forced cheerfulness. He realized just how hard it must be for Kasumi to always be smiling.
Next person to awake was Lotion, she wrote a very detailed letter for Ryoga about how she was going back to China to train and become a real fighter to one day defeat Shampoo and Cologne, how she'd miss everyone terribly, but one day return to destroy him and Nabiki since they'd been the first people to weaken her with 'kindness'-even though they hadn't been especially kind to her at all-and how she'd also go into a drug rehab center because she had become addicted to the tea Kasumi kept giving her.
Unfortunately for Ryoga he couldn't read a blinking word of it because it was all written in some strange hybrid language of Japanese, Chinese, English and . . . what the heck . . . elven?
There were several illustrations though so he guessed most of it, something in her letter seemed to inquire if he'd like to come along to help her cut down a tree, and Ryoga politely refused. He was sorry to see her go, she was really a fun person to be around, then she started trying to get him to put vanilla extract into the noodles and he decided he wouldn't miss her so much after all.
The next two awake were Soun and Nodoka who came out of the washroom together, Ryoga decided to pretend they weren't wearing each other's cloths, Ranma and Akane seemed to be following his lead.
Genma on the other hand made no such attempt at normality, and Soun was mauled by an enraged giant panda, however showing the sort of strength that only a woman can, Nodoka flashed them both and stopped the fighting.
Luckily she was facing the other way, Ryoga and Ranko didn't see her, but Akane seemed really offended.
Ryoga wasn't too keen on seeing his rival's mother naked, partially because Ranma was-in truth-like a brother to him which made Nodoka like a mother to him and just thinking of seeing her naked made him think of his own real mother and then he felt ill.
Luckily the sight was driven from his mind when Nabiki came home . . . wait a second . . . came home?
"Aren't you supposed to come from upstairs?" Ryoga asked.
"Not even married yet, and already you're telling me where I can and cannot come from?" She scowled.
"Well no, I just didn't know you were-oh forget it." Ryoga sighed.
"Wuss." Ranko whispered.
Ryoga shoved some noodles in her mouth. "Cretin." He returned.
"Aha, good morning son!" Ryoga's father said, he too came inside from outside, followed soon after by mother.
"Uh . . . good morning . . . breakfast?"
"Man cannot live by instant noodles alone!" Father cried, seeing the noodles.
"Oh, but Ryoga made these from scratch!" Akane said.
Everyone stared at her. Finally Soun said, "Forgive her, she's simple, but still, we love her."
"What's that mean?" Akane cried.
"Anyway, we've already been to breakfast with your former fiancée." Mother said.
"Former?" Ryoga scowled. "You got Yoshimi to offer her money, didn't you!?"
"Money!?" Nabiki squeaked. "Money, you say?"
Ryoga's mother shook her head. "Ah . . . yes. We had hoped to get her to break up with you without having to call Yoshimi. Now it seems, by mentioning the money, you've made that a necessity."
"So what did you three do?" Akane asked.
"Hmm? Yeah, well . . ." Nabiki looked at the floor. "It's complicated . . ."
"What is?" Ryoga's father asked. "You see we all woke up especially early, and she offered to show us around town, the way she took us I'm pretty sure she meant to leave us in a dark corner or something, well we ran into this guy, Kin'of'soup'Eh or something-"
"Kinnosuke." Nabiki interpreted.
Ryoga glared.
"Well he offered to take us all out to breakfast and despite Nabee's-
"Nabiki!"
"Right, well despite her warnings your mother agreed."
"He was so cute! I thought he might be a good husband for her. I hoped she'd marry him instead of you, son."
"That's the dumbest thing I've heard yet!" Ryoga cried.
"Dumb like a-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, 'dumb like a moose', mother." Ryoga sighed.
"Actually the moose has a rather underrated intelligence." Soun noted.
Ryoga glared.
"Well anyway despite your former girlfriend's pleas we went out with the guy, then he ditched us after making sure we all ordered the most expensive thing on the menu."
"She tried to get away too, but my reach is much longer than you'd think." Ryoga's mother added.
"Yes dear, indeed it is."
"Why is she his 'former' fiancée?" Soun asked.
"Well you see we're not so poor as we look, we offered to pay the bill if she'd agree to break up with Ryoga." Father said. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have had a problem with a money-obsessed nympho-maniac as a daughter-in-law, but the wife, y'know?"
Ryoga looked at Nabiki, "you agreed?" He gawked.
Nabiki blinked. "Uh . . . tell me about this money."
"You did agree, didn't you!?" Akane gasped.
"Well I couldn't very well let Kinnosuke win!" Nabiki cried.
"So you agreed to break up with me so you and Kinnosuke could try and make each other pay for stuff?" Ryoga blinked.
"Yes. But you see Ryoga-"
"I knew this would happen!" Ryoga sighed. "I knew you were just waiting for the right moment-" Nabiki slapped him, he barely felt it, still that she'd done it shut him up. "We weren't going to *stay* broken up you idiot! They never said we had to!"
"I thought it went without saying . . ." Ryoga's mother frowned.
"Well it didn't, and you didn't say it, and it's too late now because we broke up and now we're back together."
"We are?" Ryoga said, unenthusiastically.
"You have to believe me, I'd never give up what we have."
"What do we have?" Ryoga wondered.
"Beats me, but I wont give it up."
Ryoga smiled weakly, he supposed she was telling the truth, only because he knew she really wouldn't give up something that belonged to her. Sell it maybe, but never give it up.
"Ahem. If you two would kindly remember that there are others in this room who don't want to see you get all romantic . . ." Soun said.
"And you, young lady," Ryoga's mother said, "are going to have to pay for deceiving us."
"Bill me." Nabiki scoffed.
"They won't ever get along, will they?" Akane sighed to Ryoga.
"I didn't really expect them too, Nabiki is too . . . independent, my mother thinks women should be passive and act like servants." Ryoga whispered back.
"Well talk about practicing what you preach . . ." Akane whispered.
"Hey! She may be trying to break me and Nabiki up, but she's still my mom!" Ryoga protested.
"Sorry." Akane sighed.
Nabiki glared at her future mother-in-law, by the gods she'd marry Ryoga even if just to be able to walk up to that woman and say "Hi *mom*" and watch her squirm.
Still, all this confrontation did was give her reason to slap Ryoga-which had been sort of fun-and cause her to become extremely horny. This meant they'd have to find some place hidden to do what Nodoka had turned into a pass time without being interrupted by people who might not approve.
Of course then Ryoga was always such a wuss about it, she decided she'd have to just ignore her feelings.
Until Ryoga suddenly got up and said, "Nabiki will do just about anything for money, but no matter how rich Yoshimi is, Nabiki wont give me up, I'm sure of it."
"You were doubting her a second ago." Genma pointed out.
"Yes . . . well now I know better." Ryoga said.
"How rich *is* this Yoshimi?" Nabiki asked.
"She is Yoshimi Harume, daughter of Kotaro Harume." Ryoga's mother said, "And she wants to marry Ryoga."
Nabiki gawked. She glared at Ryoga. "So that's the billionaire's daughter!? First Akari, now this? I can compete with Akari, I can definitely compete with Azusa, but not that!"
"Who is Azusa?" Ryoga's mother asked.
"Crazy girl." Ryoga shuddered.
"She is in love with you too?" Ryoga's father asked.
"Well, she sort'a only wants him for his body, if you know what I mean." Ranko chuckled.
"That's not true!" Ryoga cried. "Nabiki is the only one I've ever-eh . . . oh you mean P-Chan. Very funny Ranma."
"Nabiki is the only one you've ever what?" Ryoga's father asked.
"Banged." Ranma said simply.
"If you weren't a girl Ranma I'd-" Ryoga growled, then bopped Ranma on the head anyway.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Ryoga's mother growled.
"I wont!" His father cried. "Son, you've *slept* with that long-legged goddess?"
Ryoga's mother slapped his father on the back of the head. "Don't you have any class?" She demanded.
"Of course not! Now son, you used protection right?"
"No . . ." Ryoga trailed off, then his eyes lit up. "I didn't, and now she's pregnant. So you see, that's why I have to marry her."
"Oh!" Ryoga's mother cried. "This is awful! Well Nabiki, at least the money Yoshimi will give you will when you break up with Ryoga help you care for the child on your own."
Nabiki's eye twitched. "Have you ever considered that my love for Ryoga might be more imported than money?"
"You said 'imported'." Kasumi noted.
"No I didn't." Nabiki scowled. "Ryoga is far more important to me than honey!"
"You said 'honey'." Ryoga pointed out, looking annoyed.
"I always call you 'honey'!" Nabiki hugged him.
"Now we're getting somewhere! Alright then son, let's just see about this girl," Ryoga's mother cackled, she slapped a 100 yen coin on the table, and shoved Ryoga down next to it. "Choose, one or the other!"
"Of course I choose Ryoga!" Nabiki said, hugging Ryoga.
"Okay . . . then give me the coin back."
"What coin?"
"The one you're hiding in your mouth."
"I swallowed it."
"You lie!"
Nabiki glared. She spat the coin out, and looked at it reluctantly . . . she looked at Ryoga, then the coin. 'It's just a lousy one hundred, you can probably find one on the sidewalk or something!' she thought to herself. 'But . . . but it's so shinny! And it's been in my mouth, not even Ryoga has been in my mouth, the coin is precious, we must keep the precious!' She glared at Ryoga's mother. 'Pretend she's Kuno, she just bought some pictures and you're giving change. Giving change! Now drop the coin in her hand . . . c'mon . . . c'mon . . .' Nabiki gave up the coin.
"There! Take it!" She cried. "Parting . . . such bitter lament, where is the sweet sorrow I was told of?"
"I wonder if there's a support group for people like you, Nabiki." Ranko sneered.
Nabiki laughed wickedly, "Remember who emptied their wallet for me, weak minded fool!" She waved her hand in front of Ranko's face, "You're a duck!"
"That won't work on me twice!" Ranko scoffed. Then coughed, "quack"
"How did you do that?" Akane gasped.
Nabiki shrugged.
"She may have resisted the coin, but we shall see how far she'll go once the Harumes get here!"
"We will see no such thing!" Soun said at last. "Do you have any idea how hard I thought it'd be to get this girl off my hands? She's a monster I tell you!"
"Daddy!" Nabiki growled, her eyes narrowed.
"The grown-ups are talking dear. Anyway, she's mean, she's cruel, when she was a little girl she walked in on me and her mother making love, and did she freak out, or need a "birds and the bees" talk like her older sister did when she found me conceiving Akane? No! Nabiki charged me for ruining her virgin eyes!"
"Heh . . . how old was I then?" Nabiki asked.
"I'd have thought, too young to know about charging people for such things, but as I wanted to get back to your mother I just paid." Soun growled. "Anyway, it gets worse, I thought she'd end up marrying this insane boy with a wooden sword just for his money and I'd be related to that disgusting family, when I found out Ryoga had proposed to her, and she'd accepted, it was as if god had finally forgiven me for all those sins I watched Saotome commit!"
"Hey!" Genma cried. "You sinned pretty bad yourself!"
"Shut up!" Soun glared at Ryoga's parents. "Don't you see? With your son and Saotome's boy-eh . . . girl . . . eh . . . boy disguised as a girl, the Tendo Training Hall would CRUSH the Koruda School of Combat!"
"That's all very interesting but-" Ryoga's mother began, his father cut her off.
"The Koruda School of Combat? Those Koruda rats! Consider Ryoga your son-in-law, we'll crush them! Tendo, Saotome, and Hibiki, we'll make those Koruda swine pay!"
Nabiki blinked. "Y'know, now I *really* want to know who these Koruda people are . . ."
"No kidding." Akane scratched her head. "I'm going to be late for school . . ."
"Yes . . . Nabiki, you'd better go too . . ." Kasumi said.
"No way! I may come back and find Ryoga is gone to marry some billionaire's daughter!"
"I'd rather die than marry her!" Ryoga said.
"Then you can come to school with me." Nabiki said.
"I'd rather die then go to school with you!" Ryoga said.
"You are far too dramatic." Nabiki sighed.
"Just go, I'll make sure he doesn't marry anyone." Kasumi said.
"Fine . . . but keep Nodoka away from him!"
"Why, I'd never . . . oh fine!" Nodoka pouted. "Well I've just lost all reason to hang around here . . ." she turned to Ryoga's father, "are you happy in your marriage?"
"Fairly."
"If that ever changes, here's my card." Nodoka said, she then got up and left.
"She has a card now?" Soun blinked.
"Tendo, tell me this is all a dream . . ."
"I want to, Saotome, I really want to."
"Might I use your phone?" Ryoga's mother asked.
Nabiki knew she was up to something, but father nodded and said 'yes' and Kasumi shoved her out the door.
Meanwhile, in a large, luscious mansion a phone rang. It was immediately lunged upon by a horde of pink ninjas who fought over it viciously until a broad shouldered man with a long beard and bushy eyebrows came into the room. He tapped his gold cane on the ground, and the ninjas disbursed, the one still holding the phone rushed forward and presented it to his master.
The man took the phone, and spoke into it. There was a pause, then he threw it at the ninja's face. "They hung up you idiot!"
The ninja scrambled and put the phone back on the receiver, then it rung again, he was about to bring it to his master when the other ninjas mobbed him.
The master scowled and walked through the crowd to the phone and answered. "Hello? Ah, how good to hear your voice again madam. What? Well yes, Yoshimi is still rather persistent about marrying your son, she's rejected an offers from various wealthy young lads." The man lied. "Me? Come there? Well . . . I don't see why not . . . no, don't bother telling me where you are, I'll have my people trace the call. What? Well I'm aware that that would be a waste of resources, but I'm rich, and eccentric, I can do whatever I want." He hung up and turned to his ninjas. "Alright, where did that call come from?"
"From the Tendo Training Hall in Nerima." A phone operator appeared out of nowhere to answer his question.
"What state is that in?"
"It's in Japan sir."
"Eh . . . that place! I haven't been there in years!"
"You *live* in Japan, sir." The operator sighed.
"Well . . . who wants to come with me to Nerima?" The man, whom, if you haven't guess yet, was called Kotaro Harume asked.
The ninjas cringed.
"Well? Speak up. Who wants to come along?"
"W-we dare not go to Nerima! We've received word from our brothers in black, their entire cult was nearly wiped out by a man in sandals with a leather jacket on a motor cycle wielding a chainsaw!"
"Who among you does not fear this man with the chainsaw?" Kotaro asked.
One ninja stepped forward. "I fear no man!" He said.
"Then you shall accompany me. Let us go!"
"Daddy!" A shrill voice cried.
"Let us go *quickly*." Kotaro decided.
"Oh Daddy! Daddy! Did I hear you say you were going somewhere?" The rich man and his ninja body guard rushed out of the mansion and towards their helicopter.
"Take me to Nerima!" Kotaro cried to the chopper pilot.
"Where is that sir?"
"We'll figure that out when we're in the air! Now Drive!"
"But sir, we–"
"Drive the chopper, damn it drive!"
"Technically you don't 'drive' them-"
"FLY!" Kotaro screamed as his daughter came closer.
"Lifting off sir." The chopper pilot sighed.
"Just you wait Nerima! I'm coming! I'm coming, and soon enough I'll be rid of my daughter for good!" Kotaro chuckled. Down below the young girl was jumping up and down waving her arms in the air and screaming things at the helicopter, as if her father would hear them.
These Hibikis were the only people who wanted his daughter in their family, the engagement had been postponed eleven years because their son mysteriously disappeared whenever it was time to arrange a second formal meeting, or whenever it came time to negotiate terms of the marriage, but now he was found, trapped and apparently would be that way for a while.
Kotaro intended to make good use of this, and get rid of that annoying daughter of his for good . . . of course he couldn't kill her, there was always the chance he'd need an extra kidney, but he could do the next best thing . . . wed her off and then make sure he was too busy to ever take a visit from her, that the Hibikis never seemed to know where they were, or where they were headed made it even easier, if Yoshimi followed the boy everywhere-as she had when they were younger-he'd never have to worry about her darkening his doorstep again!
At that very moment, back at the Tendo Training Hall, Ryoga Hibiki felt a sudden chill, he trembled and his teeth began to chatter so Kasumi brought him a blanket, strangely this didn't help . . .
To Be Continued . . .
Next Chapter . . .
"Oh Ryoga, don't say that! You and I are married souls, our hearts are the same, our love will be legendary!"Akari cried.
"That is quite enough of that." Ryoga's mother sighed. Nabiki glared at her, she had always heard that most women tended to dislike their mother-in-laws, thusly she believed her *uncontrollable, consuming, ever rising level of HATRED* for the women was a good omen.
"Young lady, you speak words like song lyrics, and you melt my heart." Ryoga's mother said calmly, "If my son were not previously engaged I would let him wed you in an instant-were that his desire-however, as you can likely see, this young woman," she jabbed a finger at Nabiki, "is stealing his heart like a succubus on cocaine. Destroy her, and my son's love may indeed be yours."
Charlotte's Web
Chapter 27
Family: The Tie that Binds People to Chairs!
"You have got to be kidding." Kasumi repeated.
"But . . . we're not. If we have the wrong address we're terribly sorry,"
"It wouldn't surprise me at all if we did have the wrong place," The second form said. It-she(?) turned on her companion.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" The first demanded.
"Can't you ask for directions just once in your life?"
"I could, I used to too, but then I realized they weren't doing me any good, dear."
"Well I'm not beyond asking for directions!" She snapped. Then to Kasumi in a voice so polite it almost made her forget that the figure had been yelling a moment ago, she asked, "Where is the Tendo training hall? Do you know?"
"Well of course I do, you are at the Tendo Training Hall, but you can't be here for Ryoga!"
"And why not?" Both said together.
"Well we never sent any message out for his parents to come, and it seems rather coincidental that you would show up now, you must be assassins hired by Mr. Saotome!"
"Wow! I hired assassins? I sure was on top of things." Genma said proudly.
Lotion looked hurt. "How could you hire assassins . . . and not come to me first!?" She screamed at Saotome. It was the first thing she'd said all day. Kasumi wished she'd remained quiet.
"Eh . . . I'm sorry . . . do I know you?" Genma asked Lotion.
The young Chinese girl scoffed and crossed her arms. "I have nothing to say to you or anyone else! You have offended my honor and-"
"I thought you had nothing to say." Nabiki said monotonously.
"MMMM!!!" Lotion scowled.
Meanwhile Cologne decided it'd been too long since she'd pestered future son-in-law. So she went over to the Tendo training hall. When she arrived she found Kasumi negotiating with two visitors, very unlike her. "Hello Kasumi." Cologne said.
"Oh! Hello Cologne." Kasumi said. "Ryoga said something about you telling Akari not to break his legs, that was very kind of you."
"Who is trying to break our son's legs?!" One of the visitors cried.
"We do what we can for those we can help." Cologne said benevolently.
"Oh wont you come in?" Kasumi asked.
"I shall." Cologne nodded.
"What about us? Where is our son?" The other visitor cried.
"Oh . . . right . . ." Kasumi scratched her head.
"Just let them in, it will rain soon." Cologne said.
"Yes. Okay." Kasumi said. "Come in please."
"It's about time." The woman scoffed.
Cologne came inside and saw Ryoga coming out of a swoon, Nabiki looking really annoyed with him, Nodoka checking her watch, Genma cringing under the hateful gaze of . . . Lo-Chun!
"Wak! What are you doing here?!" Cologne scowled at the young Amazon. "Didn't you go back to the village yet?"
Lotion scowled, then tried to say something, but didn't. Cologne chuckled. Then she turned to Ranma, who'd just doused himself with a kettle of hot water. "Hello future son-in-law. I trust you have been well."
"About as well as I can be." Ranma scoffed. "Ever since you started bugging Ryoga instead of me, life has been cake."
"Is that so . . . well . . . I have great news. I've decided to mix work with pleasure." Cologne said.
"Eh . . . yeah, good fer you." Ranma shrugged. "Not that I care, what does that mean?"
"It means you cant-eh I mean you *can* have your cake and eat it too." Cologne grinned. "Don't go anywhere, you'll want to see this."
"Eh . . . okay."
The two strangers came in, Ryoga came around immediately. "I was having the most wonderful dream!" He cried. "Except you were there!" he pointed to Nabiki. "And you! And you!" He pointed to Kasumi and Ranma respectively. "And you (Soun), and you (Akane), and . . . who are you again?" He pointed to Lo-Chun.
The young assassin's face became a perfect picture of fury and she reached into some unseen pocket, took out a piece of paper and a crayon that was nearly spent, she wrote a note and handed it to Ryoga.
"I am the feared assassin Han Lo-Chun" Ryoga read out loud. "Oh yeah, I remember you."
"Do you remember us?" One of the visitors asked. He bore a slight resemblance to Ryoga,
Cologne immediately assumed he was some relative. Said something about Ryoga being his son? This gave her an idea.
"Father?"
"He's not insane!" Ryoga's father cried happily.
"And mother?" Ryoga frowned. "What are you two doing here?"
"We met at an Okonomyaki restaurant." Ryoga's mother said.
"The clerk said she knew you, and that you usually hung out at the Tendo Training Hall. We decided to come see you, to spend some time as a family again." His father added.
"How sweet." Nodoka said. "I wish I could be with my husband and son . . ."
"We're right here dear." Genma said.
Nodoka nodded. "Yes, I know but you see I don't have time to spend with you, it's ten, the pilots will be here for the threesome."
"Why god? Why!?" Genma cried. "She said she'd be her normal old self when we got back!"
"I lied." Nodoka said simply. The doorbell rang, Kasumi answered it and two rather attractive men came inside asking for "The Widow Saotome"
"Aha, well Kasumi, we're off to perform our filthy acts of adultery in your bedroom."
"Some times it's hard not to scream." Kasumi mumbled.
"Excuse me young men, do you know that woman is my wife?" Genma demanded.
"Did you know we don't care?" One of the pilots asked.
"Don't worry honey, this is the last time I'll go outside of our marriage, I promise." Nodoka said.
Cologne scratched her head. This was new . . .
But then she didn't care.
"Ryoga, why don't you introduce us to everyone?" Ryoga's mother suggested.
"Er . . . right. Uh . . . lets see . . . well eh . . . Ranma, mom'n'dad, mom'n'dad Ranma, Akane, mom'n'dad, mom'n'dad, Akane."
This went on for quite a while. Lotion's introduction took some time because Ryoga introduced her full title, "The Feared Amazonian Warrioress-Assassin Hand Lotion"
The last person he introduced was Nabiki. "And this is my fiancée-"
Cologne sprung, she splashed Ranma with cold water and shoved him forward, Ranko was what Ryoga's parents saw, Ryoga saw Ranko and yelped "Ranma!"
"You're engaged to this fine young lady?" Ryoga's father exclaimed. "Son, how on earth did you get so lucky?"
Cologne expected Nabiki to be furious, to her surprise the middle Tendo was holding back laughter.
Well if not for Ryoga and future son-in-law's obvious agonized embarrassment Cologne would have called the whole thing a failed attempt at cruelty. She'd have to mix business with pleasure more often, she needed practice.
"N-no, this isn't my fiancée-" Ryoga said, Ranko cut him off.
"So I'm not good enough for ya?" She demanded.
Ryoga blinked. He stared at Ranko for a moment. "Have you lost it Ranma?"
Ranma thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, yer right, yer not man enough for me anyway."
Now Nabiki failed to contain her laughter, Lotion even giggled, Kasumi was smiling, Soun and Genma looked confused, Akane was outraged.
"Ranma, stop teasing Ryoga!" Akane shoved Ranma aside and apologized to Ryoga's parents.
"You'll have to forgive him-eh her, he-er she is a jerk. Your son is actually engaged to my sister, Nabiki. And *I* was the first one to know they were in love." Akane said proudly.
"Yes, she knew before anyone else-your son and our sister included-even cared." Kasumi said.
"Oh . . . that's too bad, that one was cute." Ryoga's mother said.
"Believe me, you don't want that one as your daughter-in-law." Akane glared at Ranko, who put her hands up in surrender.
"Gee Akane, cant a girl have a wee bit 'o fun?"
"So son, you didn't introduce us to Nabiki, which one is she? The one with the sword? She seems a bit old for you, but then-" Ryoga's father was saying.
"I'm Nabiki." Nabiki said calmly.
Ryoga's mother forced a smile. "I was afraid of that."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Nabiki growled.
"Oh nothing. Lots of girls dress like . . . that."
"Like what?!" Nabiki demanded.
"Oh nothing, nothing!" Ryoga's father threw a hand over his wife's mouth.
Ryoga's mother bit her husband's hand with sharp canines, apparently Ryoga got the fangs from her side of the family.
"Well . . . this is entertaining." Cologne said.
"Indeed." Kasumi nodded. "I wish I had a video camera, this would take Weeks of our Lives right off the air."
"Oh, you watch Weeks of our Lives?" Ryoga's mother exclaimed. "I've missed the last twenty episodes, tell me, did Gray tell Lori he loved her?"
"Yes. Then he broke up with her and then got back together with her, got her pregnant, killed his evil twin brother who then got together with Andrea . . . or was it Angora? Anyway they had a baby but for some reason Lori is still pregnant, their child is named Brian junior."
"Brian junior?"
"Yes. And then Ray went into a coma, and now Jennifer is waiting for him to wake up so she can tell him that she's pregnant with his child."
"But she's five years old!"
"Yes, but there is another Jennifer, the twenty six year old Jennifer from the future, she had a time machine and she went into the past to warn Ray that he'd be going into a coma and-"
"Kasumi, that is all very nice, but for those of us who think soap operas are stupid, and ridiculous, and also don't know what the heck you're talking about, please be quiet." Soun said, massaging his forehead.
"Yes father." Kasumi sighed.
"You should marry that one, son." Ryoga's mother said. "She has good taste in television shows."
"I watch Weeks of our Lives too!" Nabiki cried.
"Oh really?" Ryoga's mother raised an eyebrow.
"Yes."
"I can vouch that." Lo-Chun nodded.
"Then tell me, what is Billy's favorite thing in the world?"
Cologne watched the middle Tendo try to figure it out. "Eh . . . cigarettes?"
"Anyone could have known that!" Ryoga's mother scowled.
"I have a great idea," Ryoga said, "how about if, before you judged her, you got to know Nabiki . . . no . . . no that might not work . . ."
"Now Ryoga, I think that's a great idea." Kasumi enthused.
"Yes . . . once they really know her, get to know how truly evil she is, they'll hate her even more." Cologne nodded.
"You know elder, you do not have to comment on *everything*." Lo-Chun informed Cologne.
Cologne scowled. "I knew you'd remember how to speak eventually."
"Well, they don't like me much, do they?" Nabiki scoffed as she shoved Ryoga towards the bed.
"Eh . . . no, I cant say they do." Ryoga nodded.
"Do you think they'll come around?"
"They had better, or I'll be forced to disown them." Ryoga said seriously, Nabiki laughed bitterly. She was about to take her shirt off when there was a knock on the door. "It never ends!" Nabiki moaned. She stomped over to the door and opened it, there was Kasumi.
"Aha, Nabiki, I've managed to convince father that allowing you to have sex with Ryoga doesn't constitute to actual punishment."
"Ryoga, please tell whoever it is at the door that I'm still not talking to them."
"Eh, she say's"
"Yes, I heard her." Kasumi said sadly. "Anyway I think it'd be best if Ryoga slept in the guest room with his parents and Ranma and Mr. Saotome."
"Will Nodoka be there?" Nabiki broke her vow of silence towards Kasumi to ask that one vital question."
"No, she's unconscious in my room." Kasumi said. "As such I will be sleeping in the dojo with Hand Lotion."
"Oooh! But that's not proper!"
"She's a girl Nabiki."
"Yeah, and we all know your sexual preferences!" Nabiki said wildly.
Kasumi frowned. "You have to learn when to just give up Nabiki."
"I know!" Nabiki whined. She stomped over to her bed, and sighed. "Fine then, take my beloved fiancée from me in my moment of heat, I'll just go see if maybe one of the pilots is still hanging around here."
"What!" Ryoga protested.
"Don't listen to her, I made sure they left right away." Kasumi said to Ryoga. "Military men in a house full of innocent young flowers-and Ranma-I couldn't let them stay for a moment longer than necessary." She turned to Nabiki. "To any sisters I might have who want to pretend I don't exist because I don't want them having pre-marital sex, I just wanted to note that I heard Ryoga's mother make a comment about how you're better than 'the pig farmer' but not so good as 'the billionaire's daughter', at least she understands you're better than Akari."
"Oh great. And who is this billionaire's daughter?" Nabiki demanded.
"Gotta go now!" Ryoga said, "much to talk about with mom and dad y'know, see ya!"
"Hey! Hey you said you hadn't had any other girlfriends before me and Akari!"
"I haven't. See you tomorrow!" Ryoga said, running off. Kasumi shook her head.
"Don't worry Nabiki, I'm sure they'll get to know you better and then they'll . . . uh . . . oh . . . well maybe you could be on your best behavior for now."
Nabiki glared. "Oh right, you're still not talking to me." Kasumi frowned. "Well, maybe tomorrow you could wear that blue sweater with the white pants you usually wear . . . instead of those short shorts that you decided to cut even shorter . . . just a suggestion."
"BUT THAT'S A WINTER OUTFIT! IT'S SPRING!" Nabiki exploded.
Kasumi smiled warmly, "Aha, you talked to me."
"I talked towards you."
"Good enough for me." Kasumi said. "Bye!" She hugged Nabiki and left. Nabiki glared after her.
"Look, mother, I know maybe Nabiki can look a little . . ." Ryoga searched for the correct word. He was going to say "evil" or "like a female version of the devil", his mother however had a very different definition for the middle Tendo:
"'Look a little' like a the sort of woman who stands on the side of the street with a trench coat; which she opens for each passerby and asks them if they want to 'party' because that's the only way she can make enough money to feed her starving children who have resorted to incest as a form of entertainment because the house has no cable, phones, radio or even windows?"
Ryoga blinked. "Wow, you really don't like her!"
"Oh don't be silly Ryoga, she's lovely."
Ryoga gawked at his mother. "You . . . you just said-"
"Come now son, it's not what you say that counts, it's what you do."
"I guess . . ." Ryoga scratched his head. "Could you just be a little nicer to her?"
"Why? Wasn't I nice?" Mother asked.
"No, you were horrible!" Ryoga scowled.
"Can't a person get some sleep?" Ryoga's father grumbled.
"Look, I love her okay-"
"Of course son. It's natural for a young boy to think you're in love with a girl when you're not."
"But I *am*!" Ryoga scowled.
"Certainly you feel that way. Of course you just forgot all about Harume."
"Who?"
"You know, Yoshimi Harume, the daughter of billionaire Kotaro Harume, head of Harume Enterprises, heiress to a fortune large enough to found a country, the girl who so desperately tried to get you to fall in love with her."
"We were five!" Ryoga cried.
"Yes, and you broke her heart."
"I wasn't interested in girls then, I was *five*!"
"So you're saying if you could come into contact with her again you'd marry her instead?"
"No! I love Nabiki, I want to marry her, I'm engaged to *her*, I don't care if she's evil, I don't care if she's blackmailed me time and time again, I don't care if she's sex-obsessed-"
"I'd call that a plus." Ryoga's father added.
"I don't care that you don't like her, mother, because I will marry her."
"Unless she changes *her* mind?"
"Yes?" Ryoga stared at his mother. "What are you planning?"
"I asked your friend with the pigtail about her . . . turns out she'll do anything for the right price . . ."
"You're going to pay her to break up with me?" Ryoga scowled.
"No, we're going to have Yoshimi Harume pay her to break up with you, then you'll be free to wed her and we can enter the seat of power in the new empire that her father will build. If this Nabiki really loves you, she will refuse the money and not break up with you."
"That's just dumb." Ryoga scoffed. He knew Nabiki would never refuse money if it were offered to her in a large enough amount!
"Dumb like a moose, Ryoga, dumb like a moose!"
"You know Nabiki was planning on making her own empire too, she was all set up to buy an island, then I failed to win her one million American dollars and . . . oh why do I bother? I'll make you a deal mother, if Nabiki shows more strength of character than you expected and refuses Yoshimi's money, then you have to pay for the wedding."
"That's dumb."
"Dumb like a moose, mother, dumb like a moose!"
"Oh alright." Ryoga's mother sighed.
"And one more thing," Ryoga said.
"What?"
"Please, *please* don't piss her off."
"Why would I do that?" Mother cried innocently.
"I'm warning you, at her disposal are powers against which you cannot hope to contend." Ryoga said, perhaps he was exaggerating a bit, yet Nabiki was like a goddess to him, both in body and mind, but also because of the strange powers she seemed to have over people.
"Oh really? Well then, young man, let us see who has true power, when I get Yoshimi and her father down here."
"Nabiki will bankrupt their company and found her own." Ryoga warned. Actually he hoped she did, that'd show mother who the crack whore was. No, that wasn't fair, Ryoga hadn't seen Yoshimi for eleven years, maybe she was just a regular whore.
The next day, Nabiki woke much earlier than anyone else, she showered and dressed quickly, and decided to check on Ryoga, maybe they could make out or something before Kasumi woke up.
However she found Ryoga sound asleep, Ranma and Genma were too, but Ryoga's parents were awake and chatting. They stopped when they saw her, his father smiled and waved, his mother scowled at her.
Nabiki wondered if maybe Kasumi was right about being on her best behavior. "Good morning!" She said cheerfully. "How are you today?"
"Fine, thanks." Mr. Hibiki shrugged.
"I just learned my son was engaged to a silly little slut, how would you be? My glass heart shattered."
Nabiki decided Kasumi was an idiot. "Really? Are you sure it was made of glass, not ice?" Nabiki growled. Ryoga's mother glared at her, electricity snapped between the two of them for a moment, though Nabiki didn't realize it her fists clenched. Eventually the older woman averted her gaze first, Nabiki was left feeling as if she'd had some strange sort of victory.
"Well," Nabiki said cheerfully, "why don't we have a quick little chat?"
"Oh that would be lovely." Ryoga's mother said coolly.
"Eh . . . chat? About what?" Ryoga's father asked.
Nabiki sat down across from Ryoga's mother. "So," she said, "I see Ryoga gets his fangs from you-"
"They aren't fangs, I don't appreciate you calling them that."
"But you call them fangs all the time hon-ooff!" Ryoga's father began, but was cut off by an elbow in the chest.
"I'm terribly sorry." Nabiki said. "You know, Ryoga sends Akane all sorts of souvenirs from the places he visits, he goes to such interesting places, have you ever been to someplace really interesting?"
"Of course not."
"Don't be modest honey. The whole family does a fair amount of traveling actually."
"Right, the sense of direction thing . . ." Nabiki trailed off, and as she expected Ryoga's mother erupted.
"I don't have a bad sense of direction!" She hissed.
As she expected, Ryoga's father gave the truthful answer. "Honey, it's nothing to be ashamed of!"
"Look," Nabiki said, "why don't we go for a walk?" She offered. "I'll bet you don't come by this place often, let me show you around town!"
"Not on your life!"
"That'd be wonderful!"
Later that day Ryoga woke early (but not so early as Nabiki) and found his way to the kitchen,
Kasumi was there, she looked to be lacking sleep, "Good morning." Ryoga offered.
"She wouldn't shut up!" Kasumi growled. "She wanted to start a fire and roast marshmallows! She wanted to show me how to throw steak knives, then she expected me to kiss her finger when she pricked herself on one of them!"
"Are we talking about the assassin?"
"YES!"
"Oh . . . okay." Ryoga blinked. "Maybe you should get a little more rest?" He offered.
"Rest? REST!? Impossible! I have to cook, I have to clean, I have to-"
"You have a slave for all that, remember?" Ryoga said.
Kasumi looked right through him. "You're right . . . where is he? Ryoga! RYOGA!" She shouted.
"I'm right here Kasumi." Ryoga said. "I think you need to get some sleep."
"Yes . . . yes . . . sleep . . . must sleep . . . sleep is good . . ."
"I'll make breakfast." Ryoga assured her.
"Hmm . . . we're all going to die . . . but I must rest . . . oh my . . . please don't use any vinegar, Akane."
"Eh . . . I wont." Ryoga blinked.
"Good night . . ." Kasumi said, she stumbled off into the dining room and fell asleep on the table. Ryoga went to work preparing food, he made an extravagant dinner of noodles because when it came right down to it he was cooking for maybe a dozen people and that was the only thing he could prepare quickly.
Akane came downstairs before anyone else, she smiled at Ryoga and said, "You're cooking? You should have woken me up, I'd have helped you!"
"Sorry, you know me and my sense of direction." Ryoga said with a forced smile. 'And I want my parents to *live* long enough to accept Nabiki.' He thought.
"Wow! These are great! Did you make them from scratch?"
"I can't make noodles from-I mean yes. Yes I did. Good aren't they?" Ryoga grinned.
"Oh they're the best!" Akane cried.
"Enough! No more flirting with my man!" Ryoga thought Nabiki had said it, to his surprise it was Ranko.
"Oh, hi Ranma." He said lamely.
"Oh don't be that way, what with our engagement!"
"I really wish you hadn't reminded me of that, I blame my mother's dislike of Nabiki purely on the bad introduction."
"And whose fault was that?" Ranko scoffed.
"Cologne's mostly." Ryoga shrugged.
"Really? I was going to blame you." Ranko said.
"Hey, I wanted to introduce her last, all dramatic like, and then maybe emphasize my emotion by kissing her, or holding her or something romantic-"
"You're a sick boy."
"But then Cologne shoves you forward and you play along and humiliate me and confuse my parents-hey, it's your fault too!" He showed some noodles into the redhead's mouth, which never seemed to close, even when she ate. "Now sit down, eat up." Ryoga said with forced cheerfulness. He realized just how hard it must be for Kasumi to always be smiling.
Next person to awake was Lotion, she wrote a very detailed letter for Ryoga about how she was going back to China to train and become a real fighter to one day defeat Shampoo and Cologne, how she'd miss everyone terribly, but one day return to destroy him and Nabiki since they'd been the first people to weaken her with 'kindness'-even though they hadn't been especially kind to her at all-and how she'd also go into a drug rehab center because she had become addicted to the tea Kasumi kept giving her.
Unfortunately for Ryoga he couldn't read a blinking word of it because it was all written in some strange hybrid language of Japanese, Chinese, English and . . . what the heck . . . elven?
There were several illustrations though so he guessed most of it, something in her letter seemed to inquire if he'd like to come along to help her cut down a tree, and Ryoga politely refused. He was sorry to see her go, she was really a fun person to be around, then she started trying to get him to put vanilla extract into the noodles and he decided he wouldn't miss her so much after all.
The next two awake were Soun and Nodoka who came out of the washroom together, Ryoga decided to pretend they weren't wearing each other's cloths, Ranma and Akane seemed to be following his lead.
Genma on the other hand made no such attempt at normality, and Soun was mauled by an enraged giant panda, however showing the sort of strength that only a woman can, Nodoka flashed them both and stopped the fighting.
Luckily she was facing the other way, Ryoga and Ranko didn't see her, but Akane seemed really offended.
Ryoga wasn't too keen on seeing his rival's mother naked, partially because Ranma was-in truth-like a brother to him which made Nodoka like a mother to him and just thinking of seeing her naked made him think of his own real mother and then he felt ill.
Luckily the sight was driven from his mind when Nabiki came home . . . wait a second . . . came home?
"Aren't you supposed to come from upstairs?" Ryoga asked.
"Not even married yet, and already you're telling me where I can and cannot come from?" She scowled.
"Well no, I just didn't know you were-oh forget it." Ryoga sighed.
"Wuss." Ranko whispered.
Ryoga shoved some noodles in her mouth. "Cretin." He returned.
"Aha, good morning son!" Ryoga's father said, he too came inside from outside, followed soon after by mother.
"Uh . . . good morning . . . breakfast?"
"Man cannot live by instant noodles alone!" Father cried, seeing the noodles.
"Oh, but Ryoga made these from scratch!" Akane said.
Everyone stared at her. Finally Soun said, "Forgive her, she's simple, but still, we love her."
"What's that mean?" Akane cried.
"Anyway, we've already been to breakfast with your former fiancée." Mother said.
"Former?" Ryoga scowled. "You got Yoshimi to offer her money, didn't you!?"
"Money!?" Nabiki squeaked. "Money, you say?"
Ryoga's mother shook her head. "Ah . . . yes. We had hoped to get her to break up with you without having to call Yoshimi. Now it seems, by mentioning the money, you've made that a necessity."
"So what did you three do?" Akane asked.
"Hmm? Yeah, well . . ." Nabiki looked at the floor. "It's complicated . . ."
"What is?" Ryoga's father asked. "You see we all woke up especially early, and she offered to show us around town, the way she took us I'm pretty sure she meant to leave us in a dark corner or something, well we ran into this guy, Kin'of'soup'Eh or something-"
"Kinnosuke." Nabiki interpreted.
Ryoga glared.
"Well he offered to take us all out to breakfast and despite Nabee's-
"Nabiki!"
"Right, well despite her warnings your mother agreed."
"He was so cute! I thought he might be a good husband for her. I hoped she'd marry him instead of you, son."
"That's the dumbest thing I've heard yet!" Ryoga cried.
"Dumb like a-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, 'dumb like a moose', mother." Ryoga sighed.
"Actually the moose has a rather underrated intelligence." Soun noted.
Ryoga glared.
"Well anyway despite your former girlfriend's pleas we went out with the guy, then he ditched us after making sure we all ordered the most expensive thing on the menu."
"She tried to get away too, but my reach is much longer than you'd think." Ryoga's mother added.
"Yes dear, indeed it is."
"Why is she his 'former' fiancée?" Soun asked.
"Well you see we're not so poor as we look, we offered to pay the bill if she'd agree to break up with Ryoga." Father said. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have had a problem with a money-obsessed nympho-maniac as a daughter-in-law, but the wife, y'know?"
Ryoga looked at Nabiki, "you agreed?" He gawked.
Nabiki blinked. "Uh . . . tell me about this money."
"You did agree, didn't you!?" Akane gasped.
"Well I couldn't very well let Kinnosuke win!" Nabiki cried.
"So you agreed to break up with me so you and Kinnosuke could try and make each other pay for stuff?" Ryoga blinked.
"Yes. But you see Ryoga-"
"I knew this would happen!" Ryoga sighed. "I knew you were just waiting for the right moment-" Nabiki slapped him, he barely felt it, still that she'd done it shut him up. "We weren't going to *stay* broken up you idiot! They never said we had to!"
"I thought it went without saying . . ." Ryoga's mother frowned.
"Well it didn't, and you didn't say it, and it's too late now because we broke up and now we're back together."
"We are?" Ryoga said, unenthusiastically.
"You have to believe me, I'd never give up what we have."
"What do we have?" Ryoga wondered.
"Beats me, but I wont give it up."
Ryoga smiled weakly, he supposed she was telling the truth, only because he knew she really wouldn't give up something that belonged to her. Sell it maybe, but never give it up.
"Ahem. If you two would kindly remember that there are others in this room who don't want to see you get all romantic . . ." Soun said.
"And you, young lady," Ryoga's mother said, "are going to have to pay for deceiving us."
"Bill me." Nabiki scoffed.
"They won't ever get along, will they?" Akane sighed to Ryoga.
"I didn't really expect them too, Nabiki is too . . . independent, my mother thinks women should be passive and act like servants." Ryoga whispered back.
"Well talk about practicing what you preach . . ." Akane whispered.
"Hey! She may be trying to break me and Nabiki up, but she's still my mom!" Ryoga protested.
"Sorry." Akane sighed.
Nabiki glared at her future mother-in-law, by the gods she'd marry Ryoga even if just to be able to walk up to that woman and say "Hi *mom*" and watch her squirm.
Still, all this confrontation did was give her reason to slap Ryoga-which had been sort of fun-and cause her to become extremely horny. This meant they'd have to find some place hidden to do what Nodoka had turned into a pass time without being interrupted by people who might not approve.
Of course then Ryoga was always such a wuss about it, she decided she'd have to just ignore her feelings.
Until Ryoga suddenly got up and said, "Nabiki will do just about anything for money, but no matter how rich Yoshimi is, Nabiki wont give me up, I'm sure of it."
"You were doubting her a second ago." Genma pointed out.
"Yes . . . well now I know better." Ryoga said.
"How rich *is* this Yoshimi?" Nabiki asked.
"She is Yoshimi Harume, daughter of Kotaro Harume." Ryoga's mother said, "And she wants to marry Ryoga."
Nabiki gawked. She glared at Ryoga. "So that's the billionaire's daughter!? First Akari, now this? I can compete with Akari, I can definitely compete with Azusa, but not that!"
"Who is Azusa?" Ryoga's mother asked.
"Crazy girl." Ryoga shuddered.
"She is in love with you too?" Ryoga's father asked.
"Well, she sort'a only wants him for his body, if you know what I mean." Ranko chuckled.
"That's not true!" Ryoga cried. "Nabiki is the only one I've ever-eh . . . oh you mean P-Chan. Very funny Ranma."
"Nabiki is the only one you've ever what?" Ryoga's father asked.
"Banged." Ranma said simply.
"If you weren't a girl Ranma I'd-" Ryoga growled, then bopped Ranma on the head anyway.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Ryoga's mother growled.
"I wont!" His father cried. "Son, you've *slept* with that long-legged goddess?"
Ryoga's mother slapped his father on the back of the head. "Don't you have any class?" She demanded.
"Of course not! Now son, you used protection right?"
"No . . ." Ryoga trailed off, then his eyes lit up. "I didn't, and now she's pregnant. So you see, that's why I have to marry her."
"Oh!" Ryoga's mother cried. "This is awful! Well Nabiki, at least the money Yoshimi will give you will when you break up with Ryoga help you care for the child on your own."
Nabiki's eye twitched. "Have you ever considered that my love for Ryoga might be more imported than money?"
"You said 'imported'." Kasumi noted.
"No I didn't." Nabiki scowled. "Ryoga is far more important to me than honey!"
"You said 'honey'." Ryoga pointed out, looking annoyed.
"I always call you 'honey'!" Nabiki hugged him.
"Now we're getting somewhere! Alright then son, let's just see about this girl," Ryoga's mother cackled, she slapped a 100 yen coin on the table, and shoved Ryoga down next to it. "Choose, one or the other!"
"Of course I choose Ryoga!" Nabiki said, hugging Ryoga.
"Okay . . . then give me the coin back."
"What coin?"
"The one you're hiding in your mouth."
"I swallowed it."
"You lie!"
Nabiki glared. She spat the coin out, and looked at it reluctantly . . . she looked at Ryoga, then the coin. 'It's just a lousy one hundred, you can probably find one on the sidewalk or something!' she thought to herself. 'But . . . but it's so shinny! And it's been in my mouth, not even Ryoga has been in my mouth, the coin is precious, we must keep the precious!' She glared at Ryoga's mother. 'Pretend she's Kuno, she just bought some pictures and you're giving change. Giving change! Now drop the coin in her hand . . . c'mon . . . c'mon . . .' Nabiki gave up the coin.
"There! Take it!" She cried. "Parting . . . such bitter lament, where is the sweet sorrow I was told of?"
"I wonder if there's a support group for people like you, Nabiki." Ranko sneered.
Nabiki laughed wickedly, "Remember who emptied their wallet for me, weak minded fool!" She waved her hand in front of Ranko's face, "You're a duck!"
"That won't work on me twice!" Ranko scoffed. Then coughed, "quack"
"How did you do that?" Akane gasped.
Nabiki shrugged.
"She may have resisted the coin, but we shall see how far she'll go once the Harumes get here!"
"We will see no such thing!" Soun said at last. "Do you have any idea how hard I thought it'd be to get this girl off my hands? She's a monster I tell you!"
"Daddy!" Nabiki growled, her eyes narrowed.
"The grown-ups are talking dear. Anyway, she's mean, she's cruel, when she was a little girl she walked in on me and her mother making love, and did she freak out, or need a "birds and the bees" talk like her older sister did when she found me conceiving Akane? No! Nabiki charged me for ruining her virgin eyes!"
"Heh . . . how old was I then?" Nabiki asked.
"I'd have thought, too young to know about charging people for such things, but as I wanted to get back to your mother I just paid." Soun growled. "Anyway, it gets worse, I thought she'd end up marrying this insane boy with a wooden sword just for his money and I'd be related to that disgusting family, when I found out Ryoga had proposed to her, and she'd accepted, it was as if god had finally forgiven me for all those sins I watched Saotome commit!"
"Hey!" Genma cried. "You sinned pretty bad yourself!"
"Shut up!" Soun glared at Ryoga's parents. "Don't you see? With your son and Saotome's boy-eh . . . girl . . . eh . . . boy disguised as a girl, the Tendo Training Hall would CRUSH the Koruda School of Combat!"
"That's all very interesting but-" Ryoga's mother began, his father cut her off.
"The Koruda School of Combat? Those Koruda rats! Consider Ryoga your son-in-law, we'll crush them! Tendo, Saotome, and Hibiki, we'll make those Koruda swine pay!"
Nabiki blinked. "Y'know, now I *really* want to know who these Koruda people are . . ."
"No kidding." Akane scratched her head. "I'm going to be late for school . . ."
"Yes . . . Nabiki, you'd better go too . . ." Kasumi said.
"No way! I may come back and find Ryoga is gone to marry some billionaire's daughter!"
"I'd rather die than marry her!" Ryoga said.
"Then you can come to school with me." Nabiki said.
"I'd rather die then go to school with you!" Ryoga said.
"You are far too dramatic." Nabiki sighed.
"Just go, I'll make sure he doesn't marry anyone." Kasumi said.
"Fine . . . but keep Nodoka away from him!"
"Why, I'd never . . . oh fine!" Nodoka pouted. "Well I've just lost all reason to hang around here . . ." she turned to Ryoga's father, "are you happy in your marriage?"
"Fairly."
"If that ever changes, here's my card." Nodoka said, she then got up and left.
"She has a card now?" Soun blinked.
"Tendo, tell me this is all a dream . . ."
"I want to, Saotome, I really want to."
"Might I use your phone?" Ryoga's mother asked.
Nabiki knew she was up to something, but father nodded and said 'yes' and Kasumi shoved her out the door.
Meanwhile, in a large, luscious mansion a phone rang. It was immediately lunged upon by a horde of pink ninjas who fought over it viciously until a broad shouldered man with a long beard and bushy eyebrows came into the room. He tapped his gold cane on the ground, and the ninjas disbursed, the one still holding the phone rushed forward and presented it to his master.
The man took the phone, and spoke into it. There was a pause, then he threw it at the ninja's face. "They hung up you idiot!"
The ninja scrambled and put the phone back on the receiver, then it rung again, he was about to bring it to his master when the other ninjas mobbed him.
The master scowled and walked through the crowd to the phone and answered. "Hello? Ah, how good to hear your voice again madam. What? Well yes, Yoshimi is still rather persistent about marrying your son, she's rejected an offers from various wealthy young lads." The man lied. "Me? Come there? Well . . . I don't see why not . . . no, don't bother telling me where you are, I'll have my people trace the call. What? Well I'm aware that that would be a waste of resources, but I'm rich, and eccentric, I can do whatever I want." He hung up and turned to his ninjas. "Alright, where did that call come from?"
"From the Tendo Training Hall in Nerima." A phone operator appeared out of nowhere to answer his question.
"What state is that in?"
"It's in Japan sir."
"Eh . . . that place! I haven't been there in years!"
"You *live* in Japan, sir." The operator sighed.
"Well . . . who wants to come with me to Nerima?" The man, whom, if you haven't guess yet, was called Kotaro Harume asked.
The ninjas cringed.
"Well? Speak up. Who wants to come along?"
"W-we dare not go to Nerima! We've received word from our brothers in black, their entire cult was nearly wiped out by a man in sandals with a leather jacket on a motor cycle wielding a chainsaw!"
"Who among you does not fear this man with the chainsaw?" Kotaro asked.
One ninja stepped forward. "I fear no man!" He said.
"Then you shall accompany me. Let us go!"
"Daddy!" A shrill voice cried.
"Let us go *quickly*." Kotaro decided.
"Oh Daddy! Daddy! Did I hear you say you were going somewhere?" The rich man and his ninja body guard rushed out of the mansion and towards their helicopter.
"Take me to Nerima!" Kotaro cried to the chopper pilot.
"Where is that sir?"
"We'll figure that out when we're in the air! Now Drive!"
"But sir, we–"
"Drive the chopper, damn it drive!"
"Technically you don't 'drive' them-"
"FLY!" Kotaro screamed as his daughter came closer.
"Lifting off sir." The chopper pilot sighed.
"Just you wait Nerima! I'm coming! I'm coming, and soon enough I'll be rid of my daughter for good!" Kotaro chuckled. Down below the young girl was jumping up and down waving her arms in the air and screaming things at the helicopter, as if her father would hear them.
These Hibikis were the only people who wanted his daughter in their family, the engagement had been postponed eleven years because their son mysteriously disappeared whenever it was time to arrange a second formal meeting, or whenever it came time to negotiate terms of the marriage, but now he was found, trapped and apparently would be that way for a while.
Kotaro intended to make good use of this, and get rid of that annoying daughter of his for good . . . of course he couldn't kill her, there was always the chance he'd need an extra kidney, but he could do the next best thing . . . wed her off and then make sure he was too busy to ever take a visit from her, that the Hibikis never seemed to know where they were, or where they were headed made it even easier, if Yoshimi followed the boy everywhere-as she had when they were younger-he'd never have to worry about her darkening his doorstep again!
At that very moment, back at the Tendo Training Hall, Ryoga Hibiki felt a sudden chill, he trembled and his teeth began to chatter so Kasumi brought him a blanket, strangely this didn't help . . .
To Be Continued . . .
Next Chapter . . .
"Oh Ryoga, don't say that! You and I are married souls, our hearts are the same, our love will be legendary!"Akari cried.
"That is quite enough of that." Ryoga's mother sighed. Nabiki glared at her, she had always heard that most women tended to dislike their mother-in-laws, thusly she believed her *uncontrollable, consuming, ever rising level of HATRED* for the women was a good omen.
"Young lady, you speak words like song lyrics, and you melt my heart." Ryoga's mother said calmly, "If my son were not previously engaged I would let him wed you in an instant-were that his desire-however, as you can likely see, this young woman," she jabbed a finger at Nabiki, "is stealing his heart like a succubus on cocaine. Destroy her, and my son's love may indeed be yours."