Disclaimer: Look at the chapter one!
A/N: I apologize for previous inconveniences. I had by mistake
uploaded a HP chapter instead of this one... Also, thanks to
all my reviewres!
~Cynewulf Sedai of the Orange Ajah
"Then," the Amyrlin continued coldly, "perhaps you will be able to explain the murders these daggers were used for."
"Murders? What bloody... Jeaine's daggers?" Nemi stared at her blankly, as the cold autumn rain of truth was beginning to fall at her. "You are telling me... that Jeaine is...dead?"
Amyrlin looked at her, full of abomination, as if looking at a dead Trolloc.
"There is no use in lying now that you are caught. These daggers were proved yours."
"LYING?!" Nemi spat out, astounded. Jeaine...dead... herself accused of LYING... Nemi knew there was no time for feelings, no time for amazement, or for any bloody thing at all...Not now! She collected herself in a moment, embracing the void (still painfully aware of the True Source she could not touch). She was calm now, whatever it might had cost her.
"Look here, MOTHER!" she said icily. "You are playing a filthy game with me, I can see that, though I do not know what your goal might be. And I'm completely in your power now, as you caught me off guard. But, Amyrlin or not, you WILL tell me what happened to Jeaine. Now!"
Siuan Sanche observed her with cold, considering eyes, and began to speak, as if talking to herself.
"She is either acting extremely well... better than I have ever seen anyone act...Or she is really innocent. But it would be too much of a coincidence, now, wouldn't it..."
Nemi fixed the woman with her tilted black eyes and wouldn't let go.
"IS. JEAINE. DEAD?"
"Since, as you nicely put it, you are fully in my power, I might as well tell you a few things. Things that I suspect you already know, but...who knows, now..."
"JEAINE?"
"No, daughter, Jeaine is not dead as far as I know."
Nemi sighed with relief and surpressed tears that began to fill her eyes.
"Thank the Light!"
"No reason for that," the Amyrlin said. "Jeaine is a Black Ajah, and she has run away."
Nemi everything but laughed.
"Is this a bad joke?"
The Amirlyn's cold eyes gave her the answer.
"But Black Ajah doesn't exist! It's just a myth! Or are you telling me all those idiotic rumors are true?"
"I'm afraid that they do exist, daughter, and they are out there."
"But an Aes Sedai can NOT be a darkfriend. Simply can NOT! The three oaths..."
Amirlyn raised an eyebrow.
"It seems that one gets released of all the oaths given at earning the shawl when one gives the new oaths... oaths to the Dark One. And I still do not believe you, DAUGHTER."
"But anyone could be a Black, then!" Nemi exclaimed. "ANYONE! Lights, it is NOT a joke is it?"
"No. And yes, anyone could be a darkfriend as far as I know, and you are under suspicion more than anyone at the moment."
"At that, how do I know YOU are not one?"
"You don't," the Amyrlin said. "But enough of that. I want you to explain yourself, and NOW!"
"But can't you just tell me..."
"No."
"But I just want to know..."
"No!"
"Wait, I'm suspected to be Black Ajah because I was away from The Tower for a while? Because of leaving without giving a notice? And what are those murders you are talking about?"
"Supposing you really don't know... Well, then. On the night you diseppeared, thirteen other Aes Sedai... FORMER Aes Sedai disappeared as well. What a coincidence, ha? Three sisters were murdered that night, as well as two warders, and a number of guards and servants. Two of which died of YOUR knives. The third knife was found in your room, stabbed in your pillow."
"And you are sure, completely SURE Jeaine is not dead somewhere out there, with a dagger through her heart or...or...or..."
Nemi was on the edge of tears again, the stabbing COLD tears of terror.
"I can by no means be sure of that, daughter. But most probably she left with them."
"I REFUSE to believe that about her! REFUSE! Mother. She IS my best friend, after all!"
"I'd advice you to use the Past Tense about that. And you can believe or not believe what you choose. But you still didn't explain what were your daggers doing there if you really are not one of them. Which I, well... begin to believe. Apparently without a reason... "
"They are not MY daggers, I told you already, Mother. All my daggers are here..."
Nemi's emotions seemed to be somewhere else at the moment. She didn't feel a thing besides for a complete blankness... It will all come back to torture her afterwards but now...now she simply began to take out her daggers and put them on the table in front of Siuan Sanche. She took two from under her dress, the other two from her sleeves, a pair from her shoes, and a tiny one from the depths of her (still tangled) hair.
"All here. All seven of them," she concluded. "But I will tell you something. Jeaine and I..." she felt a stab of grief at mentioning the name of her friend... once her friend. "We had matching collection of seven daggers each. Had them made at the same time. As you see mine are here... ALMOST identical to Jeaine's ones. If you take a look on the hilts, you will see a tiny N and J carved in the silver. That stands for Nemi and Jeaine. Her collection has J and N carved. In the vice versa order, you see... And I still CAN NOT believe that..."
"Enough of that. Let me see..." The Amyrlin studied two daggers intently for a while, one Nemi's and the another one that belonged to Jeaine Caide. "I see," she said. "And there is a script in the old tongue under the letters. 'Forever friends' in the old tongue."
Nemi shivered: "I'll cast them all in the deepest place of the Erinin River..."
"That can wait. All right, I accept that these daggers are not yours. But it still doesn't prove your innocence in the cause."
"As I see the things... no one's innocence at all can be proved now. Only the opposite, if anything, can be proved. All I can say is that I'm NOT one of them... But it's not much, is it?"
"No."
"But why would I come back here if I actually was... Black? It would be bloody idiotic thing to do."
"To spy, for example. And watch your language."
Nemi rolled her eyes slightly.
"I'm sorry, Mother. But... If I...supposedly...WAS one of THEM... And I actually KILLED people, and then ran away. It wouldn't be very probable that you would believe me if I came back. To spy. It would be more likely that you would arrest me and have me stilled. As I see it, they must have LEFT some spies here, but actually sanding someone BACK here after all that? I don't think so."
"That does make sanse, of course."
"Wait!" a sudden thought flashed trough Nemi's head. "Those two daggers that have been... used. On WHOM were they used?"
"Servants. On the Black's way out, I think."
"And the third one was stabbed trough my pillow?"
"Exactly. Stabbed a few times, judging after the appearance of the pillow in the morning."
Nemi thought frantically: she had obviously left earlier that night, before all the terrible things began to happen. Someone might have entered her room... with murderous intentions... and then, seeing her bed empty, get furious and stab the pillow in helpless rage. And Jeaine has always had a flaming temper, quite uncontrollable, actually...
"But," Nemi squeaked in a small voice, "someone might have stolen her knives, right? They might have taken her... as a hostage or something... and used her daggers, and..."
"Empty speculations, I'm afraid. I'm sorry, daughter."
"But, Jeaine would not have killed ME. She would NOT. Whatever else happened. She is my best...was my best..." Nemi shivered in a violent sob, and then tried to compose herself.
"There are more serious things in the world at the moment then the lost of your petty friendship, daughter."
"It was NOT petty! It was..."
"What?"
Nemi sighed.
"Nothing."
"Look, daughter," Siuan Sanche said, an unexpected echo of sympathy in her voice. "We do not know much about the oaths given to the Dark One at becoming one of his...minions. But the Aes Sedai that have studied the matter think that one is made to sacrifice what is the most precious to them, as a proof of her or his fealty. It might have been that, you know."
Nemi stayed silent.
"Chesmal killed her Gaidin," the Amyrlin continued.
Nemi gaped.
"Chesmal Sedai is one of them AS WELL?"
"Just 'Chesmal', now."
"Who else?"
"Liandrin was their leader, I think. Beside her... Eldrith Jhondar. Marillin Gemalphin. Asne Zeramene."
"What, Asne? But...well, if Jeaine could have done it, ANYONE could..."
Amyrlin didn't seem to hear her. She continued quoting the names as if she had repeated them to herself time after time.
"Rianna Andomeran. Amico Nagoyin. Joiya Byir. Temaile Kinderode. Berylla Naron. Falion Bhoda. Ispan Shefar."
Nemi sighed with relief suddenly, realizing that the Amyrlin had finished.
"What?" Siuan Sanche asked irritably.
"Nothing. I'm just relieved Alanna is not among them."
"Why? Because she is your 'second best' friend? Fishguts, you must stop thinking in those Novice terms. Besides, we can not trust ANYONE here, do you understand?"
"We? You shouldn't trust ME either, Mother. Nothing is..."
"I certainly do not. Do you think me stupid?"
"Of course not, Mother, I just..."
"But for the time being, I, in a way, accept your explanation. It seems rather logical, and I choose to COOPERATE with you for a time. As I cooperate with some other people, although I do not trust THEM, either?"
"Whom?"
"Do you really expect me to tell you that?"
"Well. No, Mother."
"Of course not. I guess you only checked if I was on my guard?"
Nemi's cheeks reddened violently.
"No reason for blushing," the Amyrlin smiled slightly. "It was a clever thing to do, actually. Well, I will have tasks for you. Not too important in the beginning. We will see afterwards. And I WARN you not to mention this to anyone."
"Of course, mother."
"Do you understand me? When I say anyone, I MEAN anyone. Not to Alanna, not to Myrelle, not to Aroenne. None of your third, fourth or tenth best friends."
"I understand."
Nemi felt the instant relief and a moment of perfect happiness filled her as the shield disappeared and the True Source became available again.
"Now, here is what I want you to do first. And remember, I do NOT trust you. One wrong step and..."
"Yes, Mother. What do you want me to do?"
"Then," the Amyrlin continued coldly, "perhaps you will be able to explain the murders these daggers were used for."
"Murders? What bloody... Jeaine's daggers?" Nemi stared at her blankly, as the cold autumn rain of truth was beginning to fall at her. "You are telling me... that Jeaine is...dead?"
Amyrlin looked at her, full of abomination, as if looking at a dead Trolloc.
"There is no use in lying now that you are caught. These daggers were proved yours."
"LYING?!" Nemi spat out, astounded. Jeaine...dead... herself accused of LYING... Nemi knew there was no time for feelings, no time for amazement, or for any bloody thing at all...Not now! She collected herself in a moment, embracing the void (still painfully aware of the True Source she could not touch). She was calm now, whatever it might had cost her.
"Look here, MOTHER!" she said icily. "You are playing a filthy game with me, I can see that, though I do not know what your goal might be. And I'm completely in your power now, as you caught me off guard. But, Amyrlin or not, you WILL tell me what happened to Jeaine. Now!"
Siuan Sanche observed her with cold, considering eyes, and began to speak, as if talking to herself.
"She is either acting extremely well... better than I have ever seen anyone act...Or she is really innocent. But it would be too much of a coincidence, now, wouldn't it..."
Nemi fixed the woman with her tilted black eyes and wouldn't let go.
"IS. JEAINE. DEAD?"
"Since, as you nicely put it, you are fully in my power, I might as well tell you a few things. Things that I suspect you already know, but...who knows, now..."
"JEAINE?"
"No, daughter, Jeaine is not dead as far as I know."
Nemi sighed with relief and surpressed tears that began to fill her eyes.
"Thank the Light!"
"No reason for that," the Amyrlin said. "Jeaine is a Black Ajah, and she has run away."
Nemi everything but laughed.
"Is this a bad joke?"
The Amirlyn's cold eyes gave her the answer.
"But Black Ajah doesn't exist! It's just a myth! Or are you telling me all those idiotic rumors are true?"
"I'm afraid that they do exist, daughter, and they are out there."
"But an Aes Sedai can NOT be a darkfriend. Simply can NOT! The three oaths..."
Amirlyn raised an eyebrow.
"It seems that one gets released of all the oaths given at earning the shawl when one gives the new oaths... oaths to the Dark One. And I still do not believe you, DAUGHTER."
"But anyone could be a Black, then!" Nemi exclaimed. "ANYONE! Lights, it is NOT a joke is it?"
"No. And yes, anyone could be a darkfriend as far as I know, and you are under suspicion more than anyone at the moment."
"At that, how do I know YOU are not one?"
"You don't," the Amyrlin said. "But enough of that. I want you to explain yourself, and NOW!"
"But can't you just tell me..."
"No."
"But I just want to know..."
"No!"
"Wait, I'm suspected to be Black Ajah because I was away from The Tower for a while? Because of leaving without giving a notice? And what are those murders you are talking about?"
"Supposing you really don't know... Well, then. On the night you diseppeared, thirteen other Aes Sedai... FORMER Aes Sedai disappeared as well. What a coincidence, ha? Three sisters were murdered that night, as well as two warders, and a number of guards and servants. Two of which died of YOUR knives. The third knife was found in your room, stabbed in your pillow."
"And you are sure, completely SURE Jeaine is not dead somewhere out there, with a dagger through her heart or...or...or..."
Nemi was on the edge of tears again, the stabbing COLD tears of terror.
"I can by no means be sure of that, daughter. But most probably she left with them."
"I REFUSE to believe that about her! REFUSE! Mother. She IS my best friend, after all!"
"I'd advice you to use the Past Tense about that. And you can believe or not believe what you choose. But you still didn't explain what were your daggers doing there if you really are not one of them. Which I, well... begin to believe. Apparently without a reason... "
"They are not MY daggers, I told you already, Mother. All my daggers are here..."
Nemi's emotions seemed to be somewhere else at the moment. She didn't feel a thing besides for a complete blankness... It will all come back to torture her afterwards but now...now she simply began to take out her daggers and put them on the table in front of Siuan Sanche. She took two from under her dress, the other two from her sleeves, a pair from her shoes, and a tiny one from the depths of her (still tangled) hair.
"All here. All seven of them," she concluded. "But I will tell you something. Jeaine and I..." she felt a stab of grief at mentioning the name of her friend... once her friend. "We had matching collection of seven daggers each. Had them made at the same time. As you see mine are here... ALMOST identical to Jeaine's ones. If you take a look on the hilts, you will see a tiny N and J carved in the silver. That stands for Nemi and Jeaine. Her collection has J and N carved. In the vice versa order, you see... And I still CAN NOT believe that..."
"Enough of that. Let me see..." The Amyrlin studied two daggers intently for a while, one Nemi's and the another one that belonged to Jeaine Caide. "I see," she said. "And there is a script in the old tongue under the letters. 'Forever friends' in the old tongue."
Nemi shivered: "I'll cast them all in the deepest place of the Erinin River..."
"That can wait. All right, I accept that these daggers are not yours. But it still doesn't prove your innocence in the cause."
"As I see the things... no one's innocence at all can be proved now. Only the opposite, if anything, can be proved. All I can say is that I'm NOT one of them... But it's not much, is it?"
"No."
"But why would I come back here if I actually was... Black? It would be bloody idiotic thing to do."
"To spy, for example. And watch your language."
Nemi rolled her eyes slightly.
"I'm sorry, Mother. But... If I...supposedly...WAS one of THEM... And I actually KILLED people, and then ran away. It wouldn't be very probable that you would believe me if I came back. To spy. It would be more likely that you would arrest me and have me stilled. As I see it, they must have LEFT some spies here, but actually sanding someone BACK here after all that? I don't think so."
"That does make sanse, of course."
"Wait!" a sudden thought flashed trough Nemi's head. "Those two daggers that have been... used. On WHOM were they used?"
"Servants. On the Black's way out, I think."
"And the third one was stabbed trough my pillow?"
"Exactly. Stabbed a few times, judging after the appearance of the pillow in the morning."
Nemi thought frantically: she had obviously left earlier that night, before all the terrible things began to happen. Someone might have entered her room... with murderous intentions... and then, seeing her bed empty, get furious and stab the pillow in helpless rage. And Jeaine has always had a flaming temper, quite uncontrollable, actually...
"But," Nemi squeaked in a small voice, "someone might have stolen her knives, right? They might have taken her... as a hostage or something... and used her daggers, and..."
"Empty speculations, I'm afraid. I'm sorry, daughter."
"But, Jeaine would not have killed ME. She would NOT. Whatever else happened. She is my best...was my best..." Nemi shivered in a violent sob, and then tried to compose herself.
"There are more serious things in the world at the moment then the lost of your petty friendship, daughter."
"It was NOT petty! It was..."
"What?"
Nemi sighed.
"Nothing."
"Look, daughter," Siuan Sanche said, an unexpected echo of sympathy in her voice. "We do not know much about the oaths given to the Dark One at becoming one of his...minions. But the Aes Sedai that have studied the matter think that one is made to sacrifice what is the most precious to them, as a proof of her or his fealty. It might have been that, you know."
Nemi stayed silent.
"Chesmal killed her Gaidin," the Amyrlin continued.
Nemi gaped.
"Chesmal Sedai is one of them AS WELL?"
"Just 'Chesmal', now."
"Who else?"
"Liandrin was their leader, I think. Beside her... Eldrith Jhondar. Marillin Gemalphin. Asne Zeramene."
"What, Asne? But...well, if Jeaine could have done it, ANYONE could..."
Amyrlin didn't seem to hear her. She continued quoting the names as if she had repeated them to herself time after time.
"Rianna Andomeran. Amico Nagoyin. Joiya Byir. Temaile Kinderode. Berylla Naron. Falion Bhoda. Ispan Shefar."
Nemi sighed with relief suddenly, realizing that the Amyrlin had finished.
"What?" Siuan Sanche asked irritably.
"Nothing. I'm just relieved Alanna is not among them."
"Why? Because she is your 'second best' friend? Fishguts, you must stop thinking in those Novice terms. Besides, we can not trust ANYONE here, do you understand?"
"We? You shouldn't trust ME either, Mother. Nothing is..."
"I certainly do not. Do you think me stupid?"
"Of course not, Mother, I just..."
"But for the time being, I, in a way, accept your explanation. It seems rather logical, and I choose to COOPERATE with you for a time. As I cooperate with some other people, although I do not trust THEM, either?"
"Whom?"
"Do you really expect me to tell you that?"
"Well. No, Mother."
"Of course not. I guess you only checked if I was on my guard?"
Nemi's cheeks reddened violently.
"No reason for blushing," the Amyrlin smiled slightly. "It was a clever thing to do, actually. Well, I will have tasks for you. Not too important in the beginning. We will see afterwards. And I WARN you not to mention this to anyone."
"Of course, mother."
"Do you understand me? When I say anyone, I MEAN anyone. Not to Alanna, not to Myrelle, not to Aroenne. None of your third, fourth or tenth best friends."
"I understand."
Nemi felt the instant relief and a moment of perfect happiness filled her as the shield disappeared and the True Source became available again.
"Now, here is what I want you to do first. And remember, I do NOT trust you. One wrong step and..."
"Yes, Mother. What do you want me to do?"