Title: Mind Games
Author: Caffre James
Date: 23/05/03
Pairing: SSxHP
Rating: G in this part, R in later ones.
Warnings: nothing obscure. Definite happy ending those any who are worried.
Angst. Mind games. AU. Yaoi/slash
Disclaimer: Damned if I own them. Someone else does lol! No $$££ is being
made.
Notes: I'm going to be posting weekly on Tuesdays. I'm not sure how long
it's going to be probably about ten chapters or so. I'm welcome to
suggestions about what people would like to see in the next chapter. I also
need betas. I hope you enjoy!
Prologue:
Now is the globe shrunk tight
Round the mouse's dulled wintering heart.
Weasel and crow, as if moulded from brass,
Move through an outer darkness
Not in their right minds
With the other deaths. She, too, pursues her ends,
Brutal as the stars of this month,
Her Pale head heavy as metal.
Ted Hughes 'Snowdrop.'
Severus snapped awake, years of wary paranoia meaning that the slightest out of place noise could rouse him from the deepest slumber to extreme alertness in seconds. He moved noiselessly out of his bed clamber into the living area, the pristinely ordered room silent as a grave. Glancing round to see if anything was out of place he cocked his head listening intently. Jars of long dead slimy creatures stared back at him disinterestedly apart from a new acquisition that appeared to be waving at him. but apart from that there was nothing to indicate what had awoken him. Feeling a little ridiculous he waved back to the jarred creature that seemed so intent on catching his attention. With a last languid wave of a tentacle it settled back down to sleep.
// Damn thing should be dead - I'll have to take it back tomorrow. //
Feeling displeased at the present situation he continued to wait for a repeat of whatever originally disturbed his slumber.
// First decent night sleep and now this - I swear if it's a house elf regardless of what the old coot says I'll boil it for potion ingredients! //
The old coot in question being the Headmaster. Severus had earlier that week threatened an exceedingly irritating elf with this fate and it had gone literally squealing to Dumbledore. Severus allowed himself a small smirk it had been truly gratifying to inspire that much fear in the singularly annoying creature. A scowl quickly formed when he recalled the headmaster cheerfully forcing him to apologise to the elf and promise that he wouldn't actually boil any house elves. It removed one of his most effective threats against the creatures from his arsenal and more importantly made him feel incredibly stupid.
// I will have to be more inventive. There are more threats where that one came from. // Severus mournfully consoled himself - it was like losing an old friend.
A soft knock at his door disturbed him from his reverie. With his black dressing gown billowing around his sleeping robe he threw open the door ready to tear into whomever dared disturb him at this ungodly hour.
Surprise robbed him of speech. The last person he expected to come calling was standing outside his door looking nervous, Severus corrected himself, more like damn right terrified to be there. Severus drew himself up to his full imposing height and looked down his impressive nose at the now near cowering figure.
'Mr potter,' he began silkily, 'whatever have I done to deserve the pleasure of having you visit me at,' a swift backwards glance at his mantle piece clock confirmed, 'two o'clock in the morning?' his tone had hardened but Harry straightened up and looked him in the eyes in a very determined manner. Irritated onyx eyes met gleaming green in a silent battle.
// Shit //
'I take it you're not going to answer me?' tousled black hair became even more disarrayed as Harry shook his head.
'Not here sir..can I come in?' a softly voiced question from a normally headstrong young man. An interesting contrast Severus mused.
// Can you? I really don't know // Severus closed his eyes briefly trying to settle his confused thoughts.
// It's too early..late..whatever..//
He stepped back abruptly.
'Well what are you waiting for boy?'
//Not a boy really.. just not quite a grown man.// Severus mused tiredly not liking the way his thoughts were heading. At 18 Harry had shot up considerably from the skinny underfed child he had been on his arrival. He would never be tall, too many years of malnutrition had seen to that. He was at present nearly a foot shorter than him at 5"6 to his own 6"3 and with a slender seeker build had an almost fey look about him even with those ridiculous round glasses. He'd had to retake his final year due to the horrendous Death Eater attack last year that lead him to fail his exams abysmally. Severus mentally shuddered recalling his attempt at marking Potters Potions exam. he had read the answer to the first question - a rambling 6 page answer - which made it abundantly clear that Potter knew absolutely nothing about the subject before burning the rest of the offending article. Severus smiled at the memory - he'd roasted a marsh mellow over the burning paper. Be that as it may privately not even Severus could find fault with the decision Harry had made. When it came down to it a choice between revising Potions or taking on the enemy of the free wizarding people it couldn't have been a very hard choice. Knowing how Potter felt about his subject it was probably a relief when old Voldemort decided to stir things up. However he wasn't about to let Potter know that he understood his position, it would ruin his perfectly good reputation of being an evil child-eating monster.
He waved Harry to sit down in on of the high backed chairs by the cold fireplace. Gracefully though tiredly he sat in the other. A hard day of terrorising newly arrived first years was beginning to catch up with him. Severus hated the first day of term not least because it bought a grown up Potter back for an extra year. Leaning back he rested his chin on the back of one hand, elbow propped on the armrest. He gazed into the middle distance not wishing to start this conversation and willing to ignore the need for it at the moment. A soft exhale from his until then equally silent companion focused his gaze on the young man.
// He looks flushed. And cold. // Severus belatedly realised his unsought for guest was only wearing his pyjamas.
// Idiot child. //
Severus glared forcefully at the fireplace that obediently roared into life lighting the room in pleasantly shifting gold shadows. Severus was still strangely unwilling to break the silence. It had been so long since he had a guest in his private rooms it felt, for the want of a better word, nice.
// Even if it is Potter - bane of my existence.just like his father. // However Severus had to admit to himself that his feelings towards the father were very different to his towards the son.
// He, again for the want of a better word, amuses me. Keeps me on my toes. I never realised I was dead until he grew up and kept on challenging me with his wit. //
Severus softly snorted to himself staring into the dancing yellow flames of the fire.
// What melodramatic crap I guess maybe I've spent too much time breathing in potion fumes - next I'll be thinking about pretty flowers and love songs. // Feeling much more like himself he returned to glaring balefully at the source of his current sleepless state and, in his opinion, overly dramatic mental condition.
'Right Potter.' He began briskly, 'Now tell me why you're here so I can tell you to stop being an idiot so I can go back to bed,' Severus gestured with one elegant hand in the direction of his bedroom, ' and get some much needed sleep before I have to teach those imbeciles Albus calls students.' Harry's eyes had followed his professor's gesture and returned to the black gaze looking oddly scandalized. Severus's scowl increased.
'Have you been struck dumb? Don't answer I briefly forgot who I was talking to.' Harry opened his mouth to speak but Severus continued without pausing.
'Look Potter unless you're here to say something containing the words Voldemort, attack, imminent, I am frankly uninterested especially if it has anything to do with. feelings.' Severus expressed the last word with obvious distaste. Severus hadn't become the head of the house full of the most emotionally repressed children for nothing.
'You have your own Head of House so why are you here anyway? Don't answer I don't care. Now if you really want to discuss something come to my office tomorrow. First break. I'll need some entertainment after I've taught the Hufflepuff first years one of them looks oddly familiar-' belatedly realising he was digressing in front of Potter he rose swiftly loaming over the still seated Harry who looked up at him with wide eyes. A soft smile briefly touched the young mans lips so quickly Severus couldn't be sure it had actually been there. Such uncertainty annoyed him and it showed.
'Good Night Mr Potter.' Each word was excruciatingly pronounced in his velvet over gravel voice making it clear Harry's dismissal.
Harry stood his smaller statue making it necessary for him to tilt his head back to look his professor in the eyes. Again irritated onyx met now amused determined green. Severus had the horrible feeling that something had began.
'Good Night Professor Snape.' There was an unmistakable behind those words. He might as well as said 'let the games begin.'
Severus leant his head against the door after it shut behind his student.
// I know I'm paranoid - it's a life skill - but that beautiful wilful child is up to something, if it's games he wants I'll gladly show him why I'm the Head of Slytherin House. He's met more than his match today. // Severus smiled wanly in the flickering golden shadows that lingered after Harry's departure.
// I hope.//
please review. If I don't get any (this has happened in the past) I tend to give up on my fics. Go on encourage me to write more - you know you want to! Constructive criticism is very welcome. (This is my first HP fic and I have spent a great deal of time and effort on it. I want to improve my writing so if you feel there are flaws with my work please for god sake tell me!) Don't flame tho or I'll set my Snape muse on you lol! It wouldn't be pretty- but it could be amusing.
Prologue:
Now is the globe shrunk tight
Round the mouse's dulled wintering heart.
Weasel and crow, as if moulded from brass,
Move through an outer darkness
Not in their right minds
With the other deaths. She, too, pursues her ends,
Brutal as the stars of this month,
Her Pale head heavy as metal.
Ted Hughes 'Snowdrop.'
Severus snapped awake, years of wary paranoia meaning that the slightest out of place noise could rouse him from the deepest slumber to extreme alertness in seconds. He moved noiselessly out of his bed clamber into the living area, the pristinely ordered room silent as a grave. Glancing round to see if anything was out of place he cocked his head listening intently. Jars of long dead slimy creatures stared back at him disinterestedly apart from a new acquisition that appeared to be waving at him. but apart from that there was nothing to indicate what had awoken him. Feeling a little ridiculous he waved back to the jarred creature that seemed so intent on catching his attention. With a last languid wave of a tentacle it settled back down to sleep.
// Damn thing should be dead - I'll have to take it back tomorrow. //
Feeling displeased at the present situation he continued to wait for a repeat of whatever originally disturbed his slumber.
// First decent night sleep and now this - I swear if it's a house elf regardless of what the old coot says I'll boil it for potion ingredients! //
The old coot in question being the Headmaster. Severus had earlier that week threatened an exceedingly irritating elf with this fate and it had gone literally squealing to Dumbledore. Severus allowed himself a small smirk it had been truly gratifying to inspire that much fear in the singularly annoying creature. A scowl quickly formed when he recalled the headmaster cheerfully forcing him to apologise to the elf and promise that he wouldn't actually boil any house elves. It removed one of his most effective threats against the creatures from his arsenal and more importantly made him feel incredibly stupid.
// I will have to be more inventive. There are more threats where that one came from. // Severus mournfully consoled himself - it was like losing an old friend.
A soft knock at his door disturbed him from his reverie. With his black dressing gown billowing around his sleeping robe he threw open the door ready to tear into whomever dared disturb him at this ungodly hour.
Surprise robbed him of speech. The last person he expected to come calling was standing outside his door looking nervous, Severus corrected himself, more like damn right terrified to be there. Severus drew himself up to his full imposing height and looked down his impressive nose at the now near cowering figure.
'Mr potter,' he began silkily, 'whatever have I done to deserve the pleasure of having you visit me at,' a swift backwards glance at his mantle piece clock confirmed, 'two o'clock in the morning?' his tone had hardened but Harry straightened up and looked him in the eyes in a very determined manner. Irritated onyx eyes met gleaming green in a silent battle.
// Shit //
'I take it you're not going to answer me?' tousled black hair became even more disarrayed as Harry shook his head.
'Not here sir..can I come in?' a softly voiced question from a normally headstrong young man. An interesting contrast Severus mused.
// Can you? I really don't know // Severus closed his eyes briefly trying to settle his confused thoughts.
// It's too early..late..whatever..//
He stepped back abruptly.
'Well what are you waiting for boy?'
//Not a boy really.. just not quite a grown man.// Severus mused tiredly not liking the way his thoughts were heading. At 18 Harry had shot up considerably from the skinny underfed child he had been on his arrival. He would never be tall, too many years of malnutrition had seen to that. He was at present nearly a foot shorter than him at 5"6 to his own 6"3 and with a slender seeker build had an almost fey look about him even with those ridiculous round glasses. He'd had to retake his final year due to the horrendous Death Eater attack last year that lead him to fail his exams abysmally. Severus mentally shuddered recalling his attempt at marking Potters Potions exam. he had read the answer to the first question - a rambling 6 page answer - which made it abundantly clear that Potter knew absolutely nothing about the subject before burning the rest of the offending article. Severus smiled at the memory - he'd roasted a marsh mellow over the burning paper. Be that as it may privately not even Severus could find fault with the decision Harry had made. When it came down to it a choice between revising Potions or taking on the enemy of the free wizarding people it couldn't have been a very hard choice. Knowing how Potter felt about his subject it was probably a relief when old Voldemort decided to stir things up. However he wasn't about to let Potter know that he understood his position, it would ruin his perfectly good reputation of being an evil child-eating monster.
He waved Harry to sit down in on of the high backed chairs by the cold fireplace. Gracefully though tiredly he sat in the other. A hard day of terrorising newly arrived first years was beginning to catch up with him. Severus hated the first day of term not least because it bought a grown up Potter back for an extra year. Leaning back he rested his chin on the back of one hand, elbow propped on the armrest. He gazed into the middle distance not wishing to start this conversation and willing to ignore the need for it at the moment. A soft exhale from his until then equally silent companion focused his gaze on the young man.
// He looks flushed. And cold. // Severus belatedly realised his unsought for guest was only wearing his pyjamas.
// Idiot child. //
Severus glared forcefully at the fireplace that obediently roared into life lighting the room in pleasantly shifting gold shadows. Severus was still strangely unwilling to break the silence. It had been so long since he had a guest in his private rooms it felt, for the want of a better word, nice.
// Even if it is Potter - bane of my existence.just like his father. // However Severus had to admit to himself that his feelings towards the father were very different to his towards the son.
// He, again for the want of a better word, amuses me. Keeps me on my toes. I never realised I was dead until he grew up and kept on challenging me with his wit. //
Severus softly snorted to himself staring into the dancing yellow flames of the fire.
// What melodramatic crap I guess maybe I've spent too much time breathing in potion fumes - next I'll be thinking about pretty flowers and love songs. // Feeling much more like himself he returned to glaring balefully at the source of his current sleepless state and, in his opinion, overly dramatic mental condition.
'Right Potter.' He began briskly, 'Now tell me why you're here so I can tell you to stop being an idiot so I can go back to bed,' Severus gestured with one elegant hand in the direction of his bedroom, ' and get some much needed sleep before I have to teach those imbeciles Albus calls students.' Harry's eyes had followed his professor's gesture and returned to the black gaze looking oddly scandalized. Severus's scowl increased.
'Have you been struck dumb? Don't answer I briefly forgot who I was talking to.' Harry opened his mouth to speak but Severus continued without pausing.
'Look Potter unless you're here to say something containing the words Voldemort, attack, imminent, I am frankly uninterested especially if it has anything to do with. feelings.' Severus expressed the last word with obvious distaste. Severus hadn't become the head of the house full of the most emotionally repressed children for nothing.
'You have your own Head of House so why are you here anyway? Don't answer I don't care. Now if you really want to discuss something come to my office tomorrow. First break. I'll need some entertainment after I've taught the Hufflepuff first years one of them looks oddly familiar-' belatedly realising he was digressing in front of Potter he rose swiftly loaming over the still seated Harry who looked up at him with wide eyes. A soft smile briefly touched the young mans lips so quickly Severus couldn't be sure it had actually been there. Such uncertainty annoyed him and it showed.
'Good Night Mr Potter.' Each word was excruciatingly pronounced in his velvet over gravel voice making it clear Harry's dismissal.
Harry stood his smaller statue making it necessary for him to tilt his head back to look his professor in the eyes. Again irritated onyx met now amused determined green. Severus had the horrible feeling that something had began.
'Good Night Professor Snape.' There was an unmistakable behind those words. He might as well as said 'let the games begin.'
Severus leant his head against the door after it shut behind his student.
// I know I'm paranoid - it's a life skill - but that beautiful wilful child is up to something, if it's games he wants I'll gladly show him why I'm the Head of Slytherin House. He's met more than his match today. // Severus smiled wanly in the flickering golden shadows that lingered after Harry's departure.
// I hope.//
please review. If I don't get any (this has happened in the past) I tend to give up on my fics. Go on encourage me to write more - you know you want to! Constructive criticism is very welcome. (This is my first HP fic and I have spent a great deal of time and effort on it. I want to improve my writing so if you feel there are flaws with my work please for god sake tell me!) Don't flame tho or I'll set my Snape muse on you lol! It wouldn't be pretty- but it could be amusing.