SHARING THE SUNLIGHT WITH THE FREE - THE DAWN
Chapter Eleven
It was too late to retract the words. They were out, and echoing in the silence that followed.
'I am Muggle-born.'
Kière moaned softly and stared at the tablecloth. Aurelia knew his expression to mean that he wanted to put his head down on the table and sigh, but obviously he couldn't do so now.
Lord and Lady Banning looked quite taken-aback. Lady Banning's smile had become quite fixed. Aurelia gulped. Surely.surely they would not be prejudiced? Kière was not.or was he? But he had said that he did not believe.
Thoughts rushed through her head, both rational and irrational. Why had Kière wanted her not to disclose her heritage? Was he appalled by it too, in spite of what he told her? And the inevitable question: why was it such a horrible thing to be Muggle-born?
Why would no one talk? The silence was worse than the sharpest insults that could be thrown at her. Lady Banning had ceased to smile, and was staring at her as though she had grown and extra head. Lord Banning looked mildly disgusted.
'I - I hope 'tis no trouble.?' Aurelia tried to break the ice.
'N-not at all,' said Lady Banning, but her tone was unconvincing and chilly, and Aurelia noticed that she had dropped the 'dear'. 'J-just a surprise.'
Lord Banning was less surreptitious. His eyes were narrowed in an expression of loathing.
'Well!' Lady Banning said briskly. 'Henry, do call an end to luncheon.'
With his eyes still fixed murderously on Aurelia, Lord Banning pressed a little bell at his side and a maid came running. Finally turning away, Lord Banning muttered something.
'Yes sir.' The maid bobbed a curtsey.
'And call the girl looking after Miss Bland,' he added sourly.
'Yes sir, right away, sir.' The maid rushed off.
'Father -' Kière ventured, but Lord Banning silenced him with a glare.
Ethel appeared in the doorway a moment later.
'You called, sir?'
'Take Miss Bland to her room to change. Further instructions will be given there.'
'Father - really.'tis not necessary.' He was treated to another of his father's harsh stares.
Deeming it wisest to follow instructions, Aurelia left with Ethel. Behind her, she could hear Kière getting an earful from Lord Banning.
'What were you thinking, inviting one of those kind!' He did not say the word 'Mudblood', but he might as well have, for all it stung. Either he thought that she was out of earshot.or he did not care if she heard. Aurelia hoped it was the former. She knew she should move, that this conversation was not meant for her ears, but nevertheless, she stayed put, her feet rooted to the spot.
'Kièran Banning! If this is the kind of filth you associate with at that school.' Lady Banning's voice punctuated her husband's reprimands. 'I cannot believe that the school would accept -'
'Mother! Aurelia is not just some Muggle-born.she is a powerful witch -'
'A witch indeed - to cast a charm on my son. How foolish are you, son, to fall for whatever lowly spell it is that she uses.'
'I am not under a spell, Father.'
'How long has this been going on?'
'Nothing has been going on, Father. And really, Aurelia is above Muggle- borns.she has grown up with the Professors, after all! Surely that cancels out any flaw in her blood -'
Aurelia's breath caught in her throat.
Surely that cancels out any flaw in her blood.
His words chilled her to the bone. So even Kière thought it was wrong to be Muggle-born?
Of course. He had grown up in this household. His parents were obviously vehemently opposed to the idea of Muggle-borns doing magic; how could she have expected him to be any different?
'- once a Muggle, always a Muggle,' Lord Banning was saying. 'Nothing can rid the taint in their blood.'
'Kièran, you are forbidden to consort with that girl any longer!'
'Fine. Fine.' Kière sounded colder than Aurelia had ever heard him. 'Have it your way. I care not.'
She could not stay any longer. Stifling a sob, she finally allowed Ethel to lead her back to her room.
~
She would not cry. She would not cry. She would not cry.
But she was finding it hard not to. All her illusions about this holiday were shattered. Where was the happy Christmas, the glorious time, the kindly parents that Kière had assured her? Even the elegant mansion now felt cold and forbidding.
Ethel was peering at her in a strange manner. Forcing herself to stay calm, Aurelia faced the maid.
'Please - what am I to do, then?'
Ethel gave a rather shrill laugh.
'Huh. Yer actin' all uppity like the rest o' them. Yer no better than us, miss.'
'W-what do you mean?'
'Yer tainted blood too! An' I thought ye were one o' them. Nay, miss, yer in fer it now.' The young maid shook her head sagely.
'I - I do not understand.'
'Fit fer naught but servitude, miss. Yer a Mudblood, same as the rest o' us servants. I dunno what ye were thinkin', tryin' ter get close ter the young master - but t'was foolish of ye miss. Not one to care fer low-born filth like us.'
Aurelia could feel her heart sinking lower and lower.
'It.cannot be. Kière and I have been friends for years. He.he has never cared about something like that.'
Has never cared.or was it just a pretense?
Ethel laughed again.
'One o' them? Friends with the like o' ye? Aye, t'will be the day pigs fly. Ye better learn now. Yer not worth nothin' if yer not pure-bred magic folk.'
'No.stop, please.' The tears were threatening to prick at her eyes again.
''Tis the truth,' shrugged Ethel.
'So - you are all Muggle-born? All the.servants?' She whispered the last word, feeling the degradation.
'Ye have no need to say it so. Yer right. O' course, there would be no pure- blood wizard or witch willin' ter be reduced to this state!'
'But.that.it is not right! It is just unfair!'
'Who are ye, miss, to question fair? They make the rules. They have the magic. They have the power.'
'But.you have magic too?'
'I do, miss. But if ye dunno how ter use magic, nothin' ye can do with it,' Ethel looked curiously at Aurelia. 'Ye tellin' me ye do?'
'Yes - of course.'
Ethel looked disbelieving, so Aurelia promptly extracted her wand from her trunk.
'A wand.like them pure-blood folk.'
'Yes, a wand, Ethel. And this wand can do magic. Just like 'them pure-blood folk'. The truth is, you could do magic too. If you could not, you probably would be living with Muggles, undisturbed by the Wizarding world or its population.'
'I could do magic? Yer kiddin', miss.'
'No, I am not.' Suddenly, a bright idea struck her. 'Come with me to Hogwarts, Ethel. You could learn to do magic as well.'
'Me! Miss.such an idea.an' me only a Mudblood.'
'You have to stop thinking of yourself as such, Ethel. That is a filthy word, and you should not be using it yourself! You are Muggle-born. And you can go to school too. There are seven Muggle-borns in Hogwarts, myself included. Why not you?'
'I - too old, miss.twenny soon.'
'No,' said Aurelia firmly. The more she thought on it, the more determined she was to see Ethel out of this position and given a proper magical education. 'I am only eighteen this year. And what does it matter how old you are? No - I am certain. You will go to Hogwarts.'
'I.' Ethel's face brightened into a shy smile. 'Ye may not be a proper pure- blood witch, miss, but yer greater than any o' them!'
Aurelia could not help but blush.
'You need not call me 'miss', you know, Ethel. I have a name.and 'tis Aurelia.'
'Aurelia,' whispered Ethel, trying out the name. 'Thank ye.'
~
The girls were busy formulating a plan on how Ethel would leave with Aurelia. Assuming that the Bannings were unlikely to welcome Aurelia any longer in their residence, they would have to leave soon. Aurelia instructed the older girl to bring her belongings to pack in her trunk. As they packed, they worked out each step systematically.
'Aurelia!'
The door to the room flew open. Aurelia slammed her trunk shut, not wanting anyone to see Ethel's things inside.
'Ethel was just helping me to pack -' she started, then she realised it was Kière. Panting and slightly disheveled, he looked round the room in surprise.
'How - who told you -'
Gathering her wits about her quickly, Aurelia stood and looked him squarely in the eye.
'What do you want, Kière?'
'I.oh, Aurelia, I wanted to warn you before.I tried to tell you not to tell my parents that you were -'
'That I was a Mudblood?' cut in Aurelia smoothly.
'No - I mean, yes, you should not have said you were Muggle-born. But I apologise.I could not get to you sooner.I should have.'
'So is that all there is?' said Aurelia quietly. 'You would have me cover up what I am, because you believe that my past is dirty? That I am born of filth?'
'No, of course not!' Kière sounded exasperated. 'You have grown up with the Professors, after all! How can you be anything but a proper witch -'
'Kière! Are you ashamed of my past, that you wish to hide it from your parents, from yourself?'
'Well! 'Tis not like you have offered much information about it! Do you not consider your Muggle past a shameful affair too? You never talk about it - certainly one would think you consider your heritage tainted!'
Aurelia felt an unquellable fury rise in her. How dare he try to bring up her past against her? He knew nothing of what she had gone through, nothing of the fear and sorrow that haunted her. Who was he to comment? She forgot that she was a guest in his house, forgot that Ethel was watching, eyes wide, in a corner, forgot that Kière had been her one best friend for nearly seven years. She unleashed her anger on him, choosing the words so that they would sting and smart.
'So it is true! All your ideals are nothing but rot, Kièran Banning. You are as prejudiced as your parents and the rest of the Wizarding world! Well, I can tell you this. You can take your decayed beliefs and discriminatory perceptions and leave me alone. I cannot believe I was ever your friend, but I am no longer! And I am leaving.'
Kière stared at her in a state of shock. There was a very long silence. Finally, he spoke up, his tone even colder than when he had answered his parents, though the words were the same.
'Fine. Fine. I care not.' He turned to leave, but seemed to remember something before he walked out the door. 'As for leaving,' he added acidly, 'you are free to do so. In fact, I have already seen to it that the carriage is to see you back to Hogwarts this evening, Miss Bland. Good day.'
He stormed away, leaving a shaking Aurelia and a fascinated Ethel.
'Oh miss,' cried Ethel. 'Such a row.they will be mad.'
'I care not.' Aurelia found herself repeating Kière's words. 'Not about them - nor about him.'
~
Thus later that evening, they found themselves entering the carriage. Aurelia performed an engorgement charm on the inside of her trunk, and Ethel stowed herself away inside. The trunk was then modified with a lightening charm, and Aurelia heaved it into the carriage.
Perhaps out of spite, the Banning family had changed the appearance of the carriage. It had been reduced to a drab, rickety old thing, with a cramped, unfurnished room inside. The manservant drafted to send her back was stony- faced, evidently not appreciating the journey. He refused to acknowledge Aurelia, even when she offered a timid greeting.
Despite having written off the Bannings as another prejudiced Wizarding family, Aurelia was still quite hurt by all this. She had hoped, that Kière was different, that he and his family would accept her.
Apparently she was wrong.
Was she also wrong to argue with Kière? Now that the argument was over, she was beginning to feel both embarrassed and guilty. She wished she had not been so cutting.but it was all over now. Their friendship was over.
If only.if only things had been different.
Aurelia tried to brush the thoughts away.
'Ethel. Ethel?' She turned to the other girl, who had by now come out of her trunk, and was with her in the carriage's small room.
But Ethel was sound asleep, having had an exhausting day.
Aurelia turned back to the window. The grey countryside was once more flashing past, no longer new and exciting now, but harsh and dreary. It was raining. She traced a raindrop as it trickled down the pane.
Kière.she missed him already. It was hard to believe that they really were no longer friends. If only she had not been so hasty. She was really starting to regret it all now.
'Take me back,' she whispered to the weeping sky. 'Take me back to before everything fell apart.'
And knowing it could not comply, she pressed her forehead to the cold glass and let the tears fall.
Chapter Eleven
It was too late to retract the words. They were out, and echoing in the silence that followed.
'I am Muggle-born.'
Kière moaned softly and stared at the tablecloth. Aurelia knew his expression to mean that he wanted to put his head down on the table and sigh, but obviously he couldn't do so now.
Lord and Lady Banning looked quite taken-aback. Lady Banning's smile had become quite fixed. Aurelia gulped. Surely.surely they would not be prejudiced? Kière was not.or was he? But he had said that he did not believe.
Thoughts rushed through her head, both rational and irrational. Why had Kière wanted her not to disclose her heritage? Was he appalled by it too, in spite of what he told her? And the inevitable question: why was it such a horrible thing to be Muggle-born?
Why would no one talk? The silence was worse than the sharpest insults that could be thrown at her. Lady Banning had ceased to smile, and was staring at her as though she had grown and extra head. Lord Banning looked mildly disgusted.
'I - I hope 'tis no trouble.?' Aurelia tried to break the ice.
'N-not at all,' said Lady Banning, but her tone was unconvincing and chilly, and Aurelia noticed that she had dropped the 'dear'. 'J-just a surprise.'
Lord Banning was less surreptitious. His eyes were narrowed in an expression of loathing.
'Well!' Lady Banning said briskly. 'Henry, do call an end to luncheon.'
With his eyes still fixed murderously on Aurelia, Lord Banning pressed a little bell at his side and a maid came running. Finally turning away, Lord Banning muttered something.
'Yes sir.' The maid bobbed a curtsey.
'And call the girl looking after Miss Bland,' he added sourly.
'Yes sir, right away, sir.' The maid rushed off.
'Father -' Kière ventured, but Lord Banning silenced him with a glare.
Ethel appeared in the doorway a moment later.
'You called, sir?'
'Take Miss Bland to her room to change. Further instructions will be given there.'
'Father - really.'tis not necessary.' He was treated to another of his father's harsh stares.
Deeming it wisest to follow instructions, Aurelia left with Ethel. Behind her, she could hear Kière getting an earful from Lord Banning.
'What were you thinking, inviting one of those kind!' He did not say the word 'Mudblood', but he might as well have, for all it stung. Either he thought that she was out of earshot.or he did not care if she heard. Aurelia hoped it was the former. She knew she should move, that this conversation was not meant for her ears, but nevertheless, she stayed put, her feet rooted to the spot.
'Kièran Banning! If this is the kind of filth you associate with at that school.' Lady Banning's voice punctuated her husband's reprimands. 'I cannot believe that the school would accept -'
'Mother! Aurelia is not just some Muggle-born.she is a powerful witch -'
'A witch indeed - to cast a charm on my son. How foolish are you, son, to fall for whatever lowly spell it is that she uses.'
'I am not under a spell, Father.'
'How long has this been going on?'
'Nothing has been going on, Father. And really, Aurelia is above Muggle- borns.she has grown up with the Professors, after all! Surely that cancels out any flaw in her blood -'
Aurelia's breath caught in her throat.
Surely that cancels out any flaw in her blood.
His words chilled her to the bone. So even Kière thought it was wrong to be Muggle-born?
Of course. He had grown up in this household. His parents were obviously vehemently opposed to the idea of Muggle-borns doing magic; how could she have expected him to be any different?
'- once a Muggle, always a Muggle,' Lord Banning was saying. 'Nothing can rid the taint in their blood.'
'Kièran, you are forbidden to consort with that girl any longer!'
'Fine. Fine.' Kière sounded colder than Aurelia had ever heard him. 'Have it your way. I care not.'
She could not stay any longer. Stifling a sob, she finally allowed Ethel to lead her back to her room.
~
She would not cry. She would not cry. She would not cry.
But she was finding it hard not to. All her illusions about this holiday were shattered. Where was the happy Christmas, the glorious time, the kindly parents that Kière had assured her? Even the elegant mansion now felt cold and forbidding.
Ethel was peering at her in a strange manner. Forcing herself to stay calm, Aurelia faced the maid.
'Please - what am I to do, then?'
Ethel gave a rather shrill laugh.
'Huh. Yer actin' all uppity like the rest o' them. Yer no better than us, miss.'
'W-what do you mean?'
'Yer tainted blood too! An' I thought ye were one o' them. Nay, miss, yer in fer it now.' The young maid shook her head sagely.
'I - I do not understand.'
'Fit fer naught but servitude, miss. Yer a Mudblood, same as the rest o' us servants. I dunno what ye were thinkin', tryin' ter get close ter the young master - but t'was foolish of ye miss. Not one to care fer low-born filth like us.'
Aurelia could feel her heart sinking lower and lower.
'It.cannot be. Kière and I have been friends for years. He.he has never cared about something like that.'
Has never cared.or was it just a pretense?
Ethel laughed again.
'One o' them? Friends with the like o' ye? Aye, t'will be the day pigs fly. Ye better learn now. Yer not worth nothin' if yer not pure-bred magic folk.'
'No.stop, please.' The tears were threatening to prick at her eyes again.
''Tis the truth,' shrugged Ethel.
'So - you are all Muggle-born? All the.servants?' She whispered the last word, feeling the degradation.
'Ye have no need to say it so. Yer right. O' course, there would be no pure- blood wizard or witch willin' ter be reduced to this state!'
'But.that.it is not right! It is just unfair!'
'Who are ye, miss, to question fair? They make the rules. They have the magic. They have the power.'
'But.you have magic too?'
'I do, miss. But if ye dunno how ter use magic, nothin' ye can do with it,' Ethel looked curiously at Aurelia. 'Ye tellin' me ye do?'
'Yes - of course.'
Ethel looked disbelieving, so Aurelia promptly extracted her wand from her trunk.
'A wand.like them pure-blood folk.'
'Yes, a wand, Ethel. And this wand can do magic. Just like 'them pure-blood folk'. The truth is, you could do magic too. If you could not, you probably would be living with Muggles, undisturbed by the Wizarding world or its population.'
'I could do magic? Yer kiddin', miss.'
'No, I am not.' Suddenly, a bright idea struck her. 'Come with me to Hogwarts, Ethel. You could learn to do magic as well.'
'Me! Miss.such an idea.an' me only a Mudblood.'
'You have to stop thinking of yourself as such, Ethel. That is a filthy word, and you should not be using it yourself! You are Muggle-born. And you can go to school too. There are seven Muggle-borns in Hogwarts, myself included. Why not you?'
'I - too old, miss.twenny soon.'
'No,' said Aurelia firmly. The more she thought on it, the more determined she was to see Ethel out of this position and given a proper magical education. 'I am only eighteen this year. And what does it matter how old you are? No - I am certain. You will go to Hogwarts.'
'I.' Ethel's face brightened into a shy smile. 'Ye may not be a proper pure- blood witch, miss, but yer greater than any o' them!'
Aurelia could not help but blush.
'You need not call me 'miss', you know, Ethel. I have a name.and 'tis Aurelia.'
'Aurelia,' whispered Ethel, trying out the name. 'Thank ye.'
~
The girls were busy formulating a plan on how Ethel would leave with Aurelia. Assuming that the Bannings were unlikely to welcome Aurelia any longer in their residence, they would have to leave soon. Aurelia instructed the older girl to bring her belongings to pack in her trunk. As they packed, they worked out each step systematically.
'Aurelia!'
The door to the room flew open. Aurelia slammed her trunk shut, not wanting anyone to see Ethel's things inside.
'Ethel was just helping me to pack -' she started, then she realised it was Kière. Panting and slightly disheveled, he looked round the room in surprise.
'How - who told you -'
Gathering her wits about her quickly, Aurelia stood and looked him squarely in the eye.
'What do you want, Kière?'
'I.oh, Aurelia, I wanted to warn you before.I tried to tell you not to tell my parents that you were -'
'That I was a Mudblood?' cut in Aurelia smoothly.
'No - I mean, yes, you should not have said you were Muggle-born. But I apologise.I could not get to you sooner.I should have.'
'So is that all there is?' said Aurelia quietly. 'You would have me cover up what I am, because you believe that my past is dirty? That I am born of filth?'
'No, of course not!' Kière sounded exasperated. 'You have grown up with the Professors, after all! How can you be anything but a proper witch -'
'Kière! Are you ashamed of my past, that you wish to hide it from your parents, from yourself?'
'Well! 'Tis not like you have offered much information about it! Do you not consider your Muggle past a shameful affair too? You never talk about it - certainly one would think you consider your heritage tainted!'
Aurelia felt an unquellable fury rise in her. How dare he try to bring up her past against her? He knew nothing of what she had gone through, nothing of the fear and sorrow that haunted her. Who was he to comment? She forgot that she was a guest in his house, forgot that Ethel was watching, eyes wide, in a corner, forgot that Kière had been her one best friend for nearly seven years. She unleashed her anger on him, choosing the words so that they would sting and smart.
'So it is true! All your ideals are nothing but rot, Kièran Banning. You are as prejudiced as your parents and the rest of the Wizarding world! Well, I can tell you this. You can take your decayed beliefs and discriminatory perceptions and leave me alone. I cannot believe I was ever your friend, but I am no longer! And I am leaving.'
Kière stared at her in a state of shock. There was a very long silence. Finally, he spoke up, his tone even colder than when he had answered his parents, though the words were the same.
'Fine. Fine. I care not.' He turned to leave, but seemed to remember something before he walked out the door. 'As for leaving,' he added acidly, 'you are free to do so. In fact, I have already seen to it that the carriage is to see you back to Hogwarts this evening, Miss Bland. Good day.'
He stormed away, leaving a shaking Aurelia and a fascinated Ethel.
'Oh miss,' cried Ethel. 'Such a row.they will be mad.'
'I care not.' Aurelia found herself repeating Kière's words. 'Not about them - nor about him.'
~
Thus later that evening, they found themselves entering the carriage. Aurelia performed an engorgement charm on the inside of her trunk, and Ethel stowed herself away inside. The trunk was then modified with a lightening charm, and Aurelia heaved it into the carriage.
Perhaps out of spite, the Banning family had changed the appearance of the carriage. It had been reduced to a drab, rickety old thing, with a cramped, unfurnished room inside. The manservant drafted to send her back was stony- faced, evidently not appreciating the journey. He refused to acknowledge Aurelia, even when she offered a timid greeting.
Despite having written off the Bannings as another prejudiced Wizarding family, Aurelia was still quite hurt by all this. She had hoped, that Kière was different, that he and his family would accept her.
Apparently she was wrong.
Was she also wrong to argue with Kière? Now that the argument was over, she was beginning to feel both embarrassed and guilty. She wished she had not been so cutting.but it was all over now. Their friendship was over.
If only.if only things had been different.
Aurelia tried to brush the thoughts away.
'Ethel. Ethel?' She turned to the other girl, who had by now come out of her trunk, and was with her in the carriage's small room.
But Ethel was sound asleep, having had an exhausting day.
Aurelia turned back to the window. The grey countryside was once more flashing past, no longer new and exciting now, but harsh and dreary. It was raining. She traced a raindrop as it trickled down the pane.
Kière.she missed him already. It was hard to believe that they really were no longer friends. If only she had not been so hasty. She was really starting to regret it all now.
'Take me back,' she whispered to the weeping sky. 'Take me back to before everything fell apart.'
And knowing it could not comply, she pressed her forehead to the cold glass and let the tears fall.