Part Five-
Sonny could see his ex-wife from the window in his penthouse. She was sitting on a bench, looking dazed and lost. He wanted to go to her, to see is she was alright. But, he didn't want to push. He did want to scare he away from him again.
Sonny sighed and leaned his head against the cool, bullet-proof glass. This was what his life was now. Guards, bullet-proof glass, and guns. There was no light, no happiness here. Not anymore. Not since Carly.
As much as he hated admitting it, she was everything to him. The light of his life, as the old saying went. He hated that she made him vulnerable, that even after their time spent apart, she still made him weak in the knees. Sonny chuckled at himself and turned away from the window.
"Sonny?" A light, airy voice asked him.
Sonny looked up and saw his baby sister standing in the doorway.
"Courtney." Sonny said with a smile.
"Hey, big brother." She smiled, hugging him.
"What are you doing here?" He asked her.
"Fall break." She answered.
Sonny rolled his eyes. "You've got some sort of break every other week at that collage of yours."
Courtney laughed softly. "You seen the papers today?" She asked, a smirk on her face.
Sonny shook his head.
"Well, here they are." Courtney said, throwing it on the table.
Sonny looked them over and saw several pictures of himself and Carly. He looked at the semi-provocative and offensive photos and felt his mood lower. He hated the press. All through their marriage, they had made their private, innocent moments into something twisted and ugly. Carly had hated it at first. The magazines would say something about the other cheating. She was always upset, always coming this close to murdering the PC paparazzi.
"Damn them." He muttered, rubbing his face.
"So, she's back." Courtney said.
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"She's running from her husband." Sonny answered.
"What's he doing to her?" Courtney asked, her voice sad.
"Hell if I know, but her arm's broken." Sonny said, his voice tight.
"He's beating her?"
Sonny didn't answer. He couldn't. He didn't want to admit that he didn't protect Carly. He didn't want to admit that he had failed her.
Courtney saw this and stopped pushing.
"Should I go and say 'hello'?" She asked.
Courtney and Carly had never officially met. His sister had come into his life soon after they had split.
"If you want too." Sonny shrugged, his own self-pity had risen within him.
"Sonny, it isn't you fault." Courtney sighed.
"Isn't it?" Sonny barked out. "She was my wife. I made vows to protect her, to love her. Now, she's running from her wife-beating husband."
"Sonny!" Courtney said. "It happens. Whether we like it or not. It happens. From what you've told me, Carly is strong. She's a survivor. She won't let anyone, let alone a man, take her down."
Sonny laughed hollowly and shook his head. "My mother used to be a strong women. She had soft features and a sharp tongue. You didn't mess with Adella Corinthos." Sonny smiled. "But, then Mike left. And Deke strolled in. With his smiles and promises. His cold eyes and hard hands." Sonny face twisted into that of a look of pain. "He would hit my mother, beat her to tears, then plead for forgiveness, vowing never to do it again." Sonny's eyes glared with rage. "Only, to have it happen the next night."
Courtney didn't know what to say. Sonny had never been this open. This truthful, especially about his mother.
"I bet that is what Marcus Fascinelli was doing with Carly." Sonny said. "I'd stake my life on it."
All was quiet when a voice from the doorway said, "Then you're a dead man, Corinthos."
*
Carly had come up to the penthouse to get her coat. She had left it there last night. Johnny had let her in, right in the middle of Sonny's tirade.
"I bet that is what Marcus Fascinelli was doing with Carly. I'd stake my life on it."
Carly didn't know what to say.
He was wrong.
"Then you'd be a dead man, Corinthos."
He slowly looked up at her, his eyes not surprised.
"Sonny?" She asked tiredly. "Can we get one thing straight? You don't know a thing about my life. You don't know my husband. You don't know me, anymore." She said sadly.
Sonny just looked at her, his eyes betraying his stone cold face.
"Then, pray tell, dear Car-o-line," He said mockingly. "How'd you break your arm?"
Carly gave him a patient smile, the kind of smile he hated. "That, my dear ex-husband, is none of your business."
Sonny bristled, and Courtney wasn't sure just what she was witnessing.
Carly flicked a glance over at Courtney. Blonde, short, blue eyes… Carly dismissed her on the spot, thinking she was Sonny lover. She set her jaw and looked coldly at Sonny.
"I think I left my jacket here." She said.
Sonny laughed. "Convenient excuse, sweetheart." He retorted.
Carly rolled her eyes. So this was how it's going to be?
She spotted her coat folded on the chair and grabbed it. She flicked her hair out of her face and smiled coolly at Sonny.
"Told you it was here." She mumbled. "Don't worry, I'm leaving. Forgive me for interrupting your…time together." She said, viciously politely.
Sonny snorted, heat he hadn't felt in years running through his veins.
"Go ahead, Carly. Run, that's what you do best." He called to her.
She froze in mid-step and whipped to face him, her hair flying. She knew exactly what he was talking about.
"Do not berate me, Sonny. That is no longer your place." She bit out. "And, do not blame me. I had no choice." She laughed hollowly. "After all, you did tell me to leave before you ran me out."
"And, why did I have to kick you out, Carly? Tell me that, huh?" Sonny exploded.
"You never let me explain!" Carly screamed. "You-you jumped to conclusions, just like you always do!" She paused for a moment, gritting her teeth. "Nothing's changed, has it Sonny?" She asked him, her expression suddenly sad. "It's always your way, or no one's way. Your just a power hungry, angry man, Sonny." Her eyes turned dark. "Just like Marcus." She whispered.
Sonny snapped and grabbed her arm when she turned to leave. "Do not, DO NOT compare me to him, Carly. You know me better than that, you know I am not like him!" His eyes seemed desperate to her. "I loved you. I never would have hurt you. Never! Not like him." Sonny hissed.
"But you did, Sonny! You did. More than you'll ever know." Carly whispered to him, her eyes narrowing. She composed herself and pulled away from Sonny. "If you'll excuse me, I have a prior engagement I must get to." She said with forced politeness and a false smile.
She turned on her heel and walked out of the penthouse, her shoulders high and straight.
*
Sonny sighed and rubbed his face tiredly.
"Well." Courtney piped up. "That was Carly."
"You got that right." Sonny murmured.
"I don't think she likes me." Courtney said lightly. "She gave me this…look."
"She thinks that you're my lover." Sonny said, cracking a smile.
"Ugh."
"She's jealous." Sonny said, his grin widening.
That was a start.
The feelings were still there.
As was hope.
*
Carly was shaking with anger and confusion as she stomped away from Sonny's building. God, she hated that man. So damn much! Carly flicked her hair off of her shoulders irritably. What was she thinking to come back here? What had she hoped to happen? That Sonny would wait for her? That he would love her once more?
Wishful thinking. That's what it was.
Sonny had kicked her out. He had told her to leave and basically never, ever come back. But, did he mean it? The thing with Sonny was that he hid behind anger and intimidation. He hurt others before they could hurt him. It was a law he had made himself and lived by.
Carly sighed and shook her head, berating herself for being so naïve. Subconsciously she had thought, by coming here, Sonny would be there for her and that would solve all of her problems. While, it only really made more of them. She still had feelings for her ex-husband. She didn't know the extent or real definition of them, but they were there. Like it or not, she still felt something for Sonny. She always would. They had woven each other into their hearts. No matter how much time passed, or how many significant others there were, Sonny and Carly would always have something between them.
*
It had been raining hard when she stepped off of the Greyhound bus. It was a cold rain, warning of the coming winter. The bus pulled away and she was left alone. No one had gotten off with her. Carly hefted her bag over her shoulder and started to walk. There were few stores open at this time of night. It wasn't like Florida, where everything stayed open all night. Carly dodged deep puddles and put her hood over her head to keep the rain from soaking her. She came across a small diner.
Kelly's.
Carly pushed open the door and heard the small bell ring. There were few people there. A couple of older teenage boys, some waitresses. Carly frowned and scanned the diner for any older people. Any women who could be her birth mother.
She felt the eyes of someone on her. She looked and met gazes with a darker man. He had caramel skin and black eyes. He wasn't too bad on the eyes, but that wasn't what she was here for. Carly looked away and walked up to the counter.
"Excuse me?" She asked, her voice rough.
"How may I help you?" A blonde girl asked.
Carly could tell that everyone was listening to her. Her Southern accent stood out among these New Englanders. Apparently, this was the kind of small town where everyone had to know everyone else's business. Carly ignored them and went on.
"I'm lookin' for a Barbara Spencer. Do you know her?" She asked, her voice low.
"Honey, she owns this place." The waitress smiled. "But, she's not here right now. She's at the hospital. She works there too."
"Do you know when she'll be here?" Carly pressed.
"Before closing time. Which, is in an hour." The waitress answered, then went to tend to a customer.
"Great." Carly muttered and leaned up against the counter. She was starving, and the luring aroma of warm food wasn't helping. She didn't have any money, she'd spent it all on her bus ticket. This was starting to seem like a bad idea. This Barbara Spencer had given her up for a reason. Why would she want her back? Why was Carly even here?
Because, she had nothing else to lose.
*
Sonny knocked on the red wooden door softly. He could hear muted shuffling and a muffled, "One minute!" from inside. He tapped his foot softly and tried to figure out what was going on in there.
Did she have company?
Was he intruding?
Was she with a man?
Did he care?
Yes. He did. He cared very much.
Finally, he heard the sliding on bolted locks and the door flew open.
He had to smile at the sight presented to him. Carly stood in front of him, her hair wrapped in up in a towel, her face covered in white gunk, and cotton balls shoved between freshly painted toe nails.
"Busy?" He asked, flashing his dimples at her.
She eyed him. He had flowers and wine in his hands.
A peace offering.
She opened the door wider and invited him in.
"Never too busy, for you." She smiled.
Sonny stepped into Carly's suit and gazed around. Shoes were on the floor. Dresses hung behind doors, slightly peeking out. Sonny spotted a huge bowl of popcorn and diet soda on the coffee table.
This room was clearly Carly.
"Excuse the mess." She commented as she closed the door. "If I'd known that Mr. Clean himself was coming, I'd have tidied up a bit." She smiled.
Sonny chuckled. "Funny, Carly."
"Aren't I?" She smirked as she walked to the bathroom.
Sonny tried not to ogle her backside, but couldn't help himself. She looked adorable in her tiny tank top and flannel pajama bottoms.
Sonny took off his suit jacket and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. He made himself comfortable and the couch and waited for her to return. He turned his head slightly and could see her in the bathroom. She had the door open slightly and he saw he washing her face. He smiled slightly, remembering her small daily quirks.
Carly would always use a q-tip to clean away her eye makeup.
She used petroleum jelly on her lips instead of chap-stick.
It's what made her, well, her.
"You planning on staying?" Carly called as she padded from the bathroom to her bed room.
Sonny craned his neck to see her. "If that's alright with you?" He called back.
"I'll take that as a yes." Carly smirked as she jumped onto the couch next to him. She looked at him, in his suit attire. "Sonny." She eyed him.
"What?"
"You can relax a little. Lounge around. Kick back your feet. Just stop being so damned…uptight." Carly said, smiling and stretching out on the couch.
She wrapped a blanket around her and placed the popcorn bowl in her lap.
"I am not uptight." Sonny muttered.
Carly laughed, but said nothing. She grabbed the remote and pushed the 'play' button. Sonny watched as images flicked onto the screen, and glanced wryly at Carly.
"You pick this on purpose." He said, accusingly.
"It's my favorite movie." Carly smirked sweetly.
"The Godfather?" He asked disbelievingly.
Carly smiled and nodded happily.
Sonny shook his head and sighed, mumbling something about crazy women. Carly kept squirming around on the couch every few minutes. She was trying to get comfortable. Sonny rolled his eyes at her fidgetiness and finally wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. Her head fell on his shoulder and she sighed softly, contentedly. After a little while, about an hour into the movie, Carly snuggled against him, her breathing soft and even, though she was awake. Sonny had his arm around her, his fingers smoothing through her long hair. She crunched on popcorn and sipped her drink, not really noticing how familiar all of this seemed.
For a moment, it was almost as if Sonny and Carly were once again husband and wife.
Together again.
*
It had been two long weeks since Lily's death. Sonny had not left the penthouse at all. Neither had Carly. He wasn't right in the mind at the moment. He was still caught up in his grief. Every night when he tried to close his eyes, he would see the limo exploding. Along with his happiness and future.
"Sonny." A soft voice called. "Dinner."
Sonny turned his head slowly and saw Carly bringing over a plate of something to him. Normally, he would have had a fit that there was food in his living room. Now, he didn't care. It didn't matter. Nothing did.
"I'm not hungry." Sonny said slowly.
"You have to eat, Sonny." Carly said, almost commanding. "You didn't eat breakfast or lunch."
"So what?" Sonny asked, uncontrolled anger rushing to the surface. "What? You gonna be my caretaker and watch over me? Make sure the big, bad mobster of this sorry ass town stays healthy and strong?" He looked at her, his tone mocking. "No thanks, little girl. I gotta enough grief without adding you to the list."
Carly laughed, a hollow, broken sound that hurt his ears. "Look around, Sonny. Look real hard." She stepped forward, her eyes flashing furiously. "Do you see anybody else here? Do you? It's just me, Sonny. Just me. Nobody else cares if you rot away in here or not. Nobody, except me."
"Did I ask you your pity?!" Sonny exploded. "Did I ask for you to stay here? Did I ask for you to care about me? No. I didn't. And, I won't. Because, I don't need you. I don't need anything. I never, ever did. Just go, Carly. Get the hell out!"
Carly looked to the floor and back into Sonny's eyes. "You think you're the only one hurting. Yeah, you were getting married to her. Yeah, she was having your kid. Yeah, you lost a helluva lot more than I did. You act like you're the only one that misses her. You're fucking wrong! God, I would do anything to bring her back! Anything! She was my best friend. I hurt too." She started to walk out. "We both hurt. I thought I could help you, that we could help each other. That's what Lily would want." She wiped tears out of her eyes and laughed again. "Ya know what, Sonny? I-I'm done. You wanna wallow in your pain and suffering, go right ahead. And, ya know what else? Go to hell, Sonny." She whispered, her voice breaking as she walked out of the penthouse, leaving Sonny alone.
"Carly." Sonny whispered to himself. "I'm already there."
*
Carly had been walking around town for hours. She knows she looked like hell and that everyone had thought so. No one approached her. It was like her grief was a sickness. No one wanted to be infected. And, everyone knew that she was staying with Sonny. That, in itself, was it's own disease to this biased town.
The night had fallen and the air had grown cold. Carly felt a pressure of panic in her chest and ran all the way across town back to Harborview Towers. Something was wrong. She could feel it. There were no guards at their posts. Jason wasn't even in the country. Sonny was all alone in his home.
"Oh, dear God…" Carly whispered as she ran up the stairs. The elevator took too long. She needed to get to Sonny. Now.
She got to PH4 and twisted the door handle. The door was locked.
"Sonny!" She screamed from the hallway. "Sonny, let me in!"
There was no answer, no sound. Her heart jumped in her chest. She pulled her bobby pin out of her hair and prayed that what Luke had taught her would hold true. She poked the pin into the lock and within seconds, she heard the lock click. She rushed in and tripped over something that was on the ground. She fell hard on the floor and lie still for a moment. Something crunched beneath her.
Carly rolled over and felt something sharp sting into her back.
"Ahh." She moaned and got to her knees.
Her eyes were slowly adjusting to the pitch black of the room. She could see a figure huddled by the couch.
"Sonny." She said softly, knowing it was him. "What happened?"
Lightening flashed and illuminated the room. Carly gasped when she saw smashed glass all over the place. Chairs that had been smashed against the wall.
"Sonny?" She asked again.
'What did you do?' She silently asked herself.
That's when she saw it.
She blinked and prayed her eyes were playing tricks on her.
Sonny held a piece of jagged, broken mirror placed over the skin of his wrists.
"No…" Carly moaned softly.
"I thought about what you said. You were right. Nobody cares. Nobody will miss me." Sonny said, his voice raspy.
"Sonny, no." Carly moaned. "I didn't mean it like that."
"I have too. I killed her. Why am I still here?" Sonny asked.
"Because, you still have a life to live!"
"No! It's punishment. Either way. I kill myself and end up in hell. Devil's already made a place for me." Sonny whispered.
"No!" Carly cried, standing up.
"I have too."
Carly ran her hands through her hair and started to hyperventilate. She didn't know what to do!
"Fine. Fine, fine, fine." She mumbled madly, stumbling over to the terrace doors.
It had started to rain.
Sonny watched her with wide eyes.
Carly climbed up onto the metal railing and balanced on her heels.
"Fine , Sonny!" She screamed over the rain. "We'll do it together!"
"Carly?" Sonny asked slowly.
"Yeah!" Carly yelled, trying in vain not to move, she felt unsteady, ready to plummet to the wet sidewalk. "You cut your wrists and bleed to death in the goddamn penthouse! I'll jump down and fall and to my death onto the goddamn sidewalk!"
"Carly, wait…" Sonny said, standing, the fog in his head clearing.
"Don't back out now!" Carly screamed, the wind making her more than she already was unsteady.
"Carly!" Sonny yelled, dropping the broken mirror. "Don't!"
"Devil's made a place for us, Sonny! Why not go now?!" Carly knew this was insane. But, it was working.
Sonny was rushing out to the terrace, his eyes blazing.
"Are you crazy?" Sonny exploded, his eyes scared. "Get down!"
"Says the man who was holding glass to his wrists moments ago." Carly said, getting ready to jump back onto the terrace.
The wind blew and in her heels, she slipped, not able to regain her balance. She cried out as she started to fall backwards. In her mind, she could see the ground rushing to meet her.
"No!" Sonny yelled and he lunged forward, grabbing her arms and pulling her to him.
Carly and Sonny stumbled backwards to the doors.
Carly was wet and shaking, her breath hitched, her body still panicking.
Sonny had his arms wrapped around her, tightly.
"You can't go. You can't leave like Lily did." He was murmuring into her wet hair.
"I wasn't." Carly said softly. "I had to make you see!"
"You could have died." Sonny whispered. "I can't be alone." Then he looked at her. "I didn't think you were coming back. I thought I was alone."
Carly shook her head, tears in her eyes. "Lily didn't just leave you." She said, angrily. "She left me, too. Damn it, Sonny! She left both of us! She left both of us to live, without her." Tears streamed down her cheeks. "You're not alone, I'm here too. I'm here too." She murmured, clutching Sonny to her.
Sonny buried his face into her shoulder, silently weeping.
He knew she was right. He knew he had been selfish in his grief. She was hurting too. She was the only one that cared. He had tried to push her away, but she came back.
She came back…
TBC