Chapter 5
A tired Buffy awoke to the less than dulcet vocalizations of Xander Harris belting out the words to an overplayed pop song outside her window. Extraordinary construction supervisor he may be, Celine Dion he was not.
She peered blurrily at the alarm clock on her bedside table. Squinting, she could just make out the time as 10:06. *This is Willow's idea of not too early? * Did the evil witch not have a clue as to what time she'd managed to drag herself away from the party?
As eager as the three of them had been to leave, Angel and Buffy had got caught by his parents again and Cordelia, in the meantime, had devoured virtually a quarter of the buffet.
They had dutifully applauded as donator after donator had paraded their cheques in front of the waiting press reporters. Wisely, after last years fight between Josh Hamilton's third wife and girlfriend of that particular moment, the press cameras had been banned.
She had danced with the rich men, the hangers on and the ubiquitous ass pinchers, all the while keeping an eye out for a person called Spike. * Really what sort of person was called Spike?* Not to be outdone a little voice in the back of her mind asked. Why do you get called Spike?* Certain naughty little images popped up.
After saying her farewells, and getting a cab back to her house, she had crawled into bed at the ridiculous hour of four am. And now, as a wake up call she had the dawn chorus of Xander singing 'My Love Shall Go On" as he set up the BBQ.
If she heard one more refrain, Xander would discover waking her this early, would remove any prospect he had of his life going on.
She stuck her head under her pillow in an effort to drown out the appalling noise and in a vain attempt to get some more sleep, when a suspiciously chipper redhead stuck her head around the bedroom door.
"Morning Buffy." Sang Willow happily.
"Willow, tell me you didn't have caffeine. Please." Begged a muffled voice.
"I didn't have caffeine."
"Okay. Now tell me the truth."
"I had caffeine."
Buffy with her face down on the bed threw the pillow at her friend with unerring accuracy considering she didn't even look. "Will, you promised. No more mochaccinnos, the sugar-caffeine rush is too much for you."
Willow entered the room and sat down on the bed. "I got you one."
Buffy's head lifted at lightening speed as her hand made a grab for the polystyrene container in Willow's hand. "You are a Goddess." She whispered as she supped the heavenly concoction and waited for the rush. *Ah legalised additive stimulant. The best.*
She watched warily as Willow got up and headed to the window. Remembering her words from the phone message last night, she was about to ask what was going on when Willow spoke. "Xander's here."
"Yeah I heard. What's with the sudden burst of Celine anyway? And is it justifiable homicide if I kill him for it?"
"Anya. And no." Willow giggled.
"She here too?"
"Oh yes. You know Xander and Anya. Joined at the hips." Willow looked at Buffy as they shuddered at the scary place they had both just visited.
Both friends had mixed feelings regarding Xander's new girlfriend, Anya. The two of them had met when Xander had joined her father's construction consultancy over six years ago. Anya had been very forthright in her pursuit of this 'new addition' and even now, memories of conversations referring to "interlocking bodies", made them cringe.
Oddly it had been Xander who had resisted the development of their relationship, although it was obvious he was attracted to the beautiful blonde/ brunette/ redhead whose hair colour and style managed to change at least once a month. Xander had finally found himself a place where he fitted and he wasn't going to let dating the boss's daughter be the reason for, or against his success. He was going to do it on his own and for four years he had held Anya off, which only seemed to make her more determined to have him.
When he finally made junior partner that was when all hell broke loose. Let's just say four years of pent up passion and sexual tension being released was going to spill over into most situations, and Anya's complete openness regarding all things, but specifically sex, made for some startling revelations that were best left unsaid, or in some unfortunate cases, unseen.
How Anya ever made it to her position as a promising new architect, without deeply embarrassing or scaring away clients they would never know. They had no doubt of her talent, she was innovative and determined, it was just her people skills that were frightening and her love for money, and her quest for orgasms... the list went on. So finally they had admitted it between themselves. They didn't think Anya was good enough for Xander. But then to be honest, no one was going to be good enough for him, and they knew for a fact he felt no one would ever be good enough for his favourite girls.
"It is kind of nice that he's found someone who, you know, loves him." Willow admitted somewhat reluctantly.
Buffy nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but does she have to love him everywhere? I'm still finding it hard to use my washing machine after the time I found them in the laundry room waiting for the spin cycle."
"Jealous much?" Teased Willow with raised eyebrows as she returned to sit beside Buffy.
"Oh yeah." sighed Buffy.
"Yeah me too."
Buffy looked closely at her friend detecting the slight sadness in her eyes. " So no luck with Willow lovage?"
Willow shrugged her shoulders with a moue of disappointment. "There's someone I'm interested in, but it's difficult."
Buffy nudged her shoulder with her own. "Hey. I told you before. I'm very flattered but I don't see you that way."
This elicited the tried for laugh. "Sweetie, you don't know what you're missing."
At this both girls started to roll around on the bed giggling and tickling each other, their empty cups falling to the floor. Oh yeah the sugar rush had arrived.
Xander Harris chose that exact moment to enter the bedroom and halted with an audible gulp. The young women stopped at the sudden intrusion, looked towards him, then back to each other with an identical evil twinkle in their eyes.
They turned their attention back to the brunette, and with a come hither look, Buffy draped one of her arms over Willow's shoulder and began caressing a lock of her russet hair, as Willow placed her hand suggestively on Buffy's knee, trailing her index finger in small patterns.
"Hey Xand. Wanna join us?" asked Willow in the most seductive voice she could muster.
"Hell yeah." And he dove onto the bed, tickling the teasing minxes for all they were worth.
The three friends finally collapsed, exhausted from the caffeine and sugar induced tickle-fest they'd just enjoyed. They hadn't been that stupid in a long while.
Buffy muttered a happy, "I've missed you guys." as Anya wandered through the door.
"Is the orgy over? Because there's couple of tall, glowery brunette people at the front door."
Buffy hopped up quickly from her completely destroyed bed covers and headed to the shower. "It's Angel and Cordy. I invited them last night. God they're early. Can you let them in and make them feel welcome? I'll be down in a few."
"Angel and Cordy? Cordy? As in Cordelia Chase? As in queen bitch of Sunnydale High?" Asked a baffled Xander.
"Yep" came Buffy's voice, muffled by the intervening door, "and they're my friends. So play nice Xander. We're not in high school anymore. We are responsible adults." She thought back to the spur-of-the-moment tickle escapade as she undressed for the shower. "Okay most of the time we're responsible adults. So play nice Xand. Please."
She heard a rather petulant. "I will if she will." As she stepped under the shower.
Suitably clean, awake and dressed comfortably in a worn pair of jeans and old sweatshirt Buffy skipped down the stairs and into the relaxing atmosphere of her kitchen. Her friends were all settled around the counter supping orange juice or coffee. She headed towards the kettle but before she could reach it a hand placed a cup of her favourite tea in hers. She smelt the smokey aroma of the Lapsang Souchong and smiled her thanks at Willow. Okay now she was really suspicious. Willow only made her tea when something was up.
True to their word, her friends had brought with them all the required elements of a fabulous cookout. There were the makings of a salad, large foil wrapped potatoes for baking, huge juicy looking steaks and absurd quantities of alcohol. There was enough for everyone even including the extra couple.
Although there was the occasional mumble from Xander that he wouldn't have any steaks to take home now.
The morning was spent in a pleasant haze, lounging around, eating fresh pastries and fruit salad. Simply enjoying each other's company, relaxing and talking. *Just what the doctor ordered, * thought Buffy, *or he would have if I ever got the time to see him. *
She was happy that Angel and Cordy mixed in with the rest of her friends so well. She had worried about her "two worlds" combining, but as she had danced with Angel last night she had felt that is was time to bring them together. She couldn't really explain why she had kept them apart. So she had asked him if he and Cordelia would like to come over the next day. Angel had surprised her by saying yes. And as she had pondered his answer, she had wondered why she had still continued to look for the Englishman Cordy had described. It was obvious he had been long gone, so why had she kept looking? And why was he there at all?
The day progressed, and when people other than Xander, who was always hungry, expressed an interest in eating, they moved into the garden. The first of many bottles of wine and beer were opened as Xander and Angel gathered together, in the great honoured tradition of men everywhere when confronted with the exciting prospect of playing with fire, around the barbeque.
Dawn arrived home pulling a shy Andrew behind her. They were just in time to see the two males narrowly avoid losing their eyebrows, as an exciting pall of blue flame lit the coals as the lighter fluid ignited. The proud males were upset when their achievement was met with a flurry of giggles from the woman folk, who just couldn't contain their laughter at the sight of the two smoke blackened faces, and slunk off like little boys
The guys returned cleaner and showing a newfound camaraderie 'that could only be forged in the face of death' claimed a slightly intoxicated and overexcited Xander.
While waiting for the marinated meat to cook, Buffy assembled the salad at the deck table and, as her concentration drifted from conversation to conversation, she continued to watch for an opportunity to corner her sneaky friend.
Cordelia and Anya were having a deeply involved conversation regarding their respective sex lives.
"What I want to know is how I'm expected to get in that position with a giant beach ball in my stomach?" lamented Cordy, expressing only one of the many problems she foresaw with making love while heavily pregnant.
Stopping the conversation with a raised finger Anya disappeared for a moment into the house and returned clutching her bag. To Cordy's surprise she presented her with a sex manual. "Pages 91 to 105 are good positions for sex when expecting. Of course they're also extremely stimulating when you're not. Xander and I are going to do position 42 in the advanced section later on tonight while we role-play 'the caveman and the captured virgin'. He has a leopard print loincloth and I've purchased a furry bikini which I have great expectations of him removing with his teeth."
Buffy didn't even know that Cordelia Chase could blush, let alone that much, when Anya started to describe some of her personal favourites.
Angel and Xander's conversation was heavily sports related and Buffy's interest waned quickly from hearing talk of eligible receivers, sacking and men in motion. It was far too testosterone ridden for her, and quite honestly, sounded like it had a little too much in common with Anya and Cordy's discussion.
She watched, getting increasingly annoyed as Willow and Dawn whispered excitedly in each other's ears, looking for all the world like guilty schoolgirls.
*Willow's wily. Like Wile E Coyote,* thought Buffy.*Wait a minute. No. No it was the roadrunner that was the smart one. Out running every trap set by the inept canine.* Buffy could sympathise with his despair of ever catching that elusive bird because Willow had out witted every move she'd made in an attempt to get her to spill the beans about this 'something' she had to tell her. She had let it go for the better part of the day. *Okay, but enough is enough.*
Buffy got up from the table, grabbed Willow's hand and dragged her back into the house. It was time to find out exactly what was going on.
Willow had seen Buffy getting more and more antsy and knew pretty soon she was going to have to come clean. She should have told Buffy as soon as she saw her. She'd had every intention of doing so when she'd taken her the coffee. Problem was, she knew Buffy wasn't exactly going to be happy clappy about this, and had chickened out big time.
Then when she found out Cordy and Angel were here she really didn't want them to witness this. So of course being the self-assured, non-evasive, intelligent person she was, she then managed to avoid her friend's not so subtle hints to tell her what was going on. She had gotten Buffy worked up into a complete lather, and because she hadn't told her out right, it was going to be ten times worse.
"Okay Willow time to 'fess up. What did you have to tell me? What's all the whispering and giggling?"
Willow saw a sudden thought seem to flit through her eyes. "Oh my. Willow, you're not interested in Dawn are you? 'Cos I know she likes boys; at least I'm fairly sure it's boys. "
"Whoa, Buffy relax. No I'm not interested in Dawn, not like that. We were talking about Andrew. She likes him. And hey. Why shouldn't I be interested in Dawn?"
"Honey that wasn't what I meant, I just didn't want you to be hurt. And she's interested in Andrew? .Really? He seems kinda.gay?"
"Yeah well, apparently he's not."
"How would she know? You know what don't tell me. We've had the talk. I trust her." Willow saw Buffy's obvious distress that Dawn hadn't confided in her, but then again when was she around to talk to about these sorts of things. Hopefully this 'project' would rectify the time Buffy had available for herself and Dawn.
"Okay Willow. So if you being interested in Dawn isn't what you had to tell me. What is it? I'm fairly sure you can't tell me my boyfriend's cheating on me this time, 'cos he's sitting in my back yard with his wife. So spill, Missy."
Willow took a deep breath and braced herself for Hurricane Buffy.
"Well you see it's like this."
As Buffy dragged a reluctant Willow into the house, her co-conspirators, Xander, Anya and Dawn watched and waited for the inevitable explosion. This meant their conversations abruptly stopped, and a confused Cordelia asked, "What's going on? "
"Willow's about to tell Buffy she's hired her a man to relieve her stress." Anya stated matter of factly, "They're waiting for her head to explode."
"Ahn, you promised." Whined her boyfriend, " I told you, only on the agreement you wouldn't tell anyone."
"You said I couldn't tell Buffy. You never said anything about telling anyone else." Reasoned a literal Anya.
Cordelia and Angel looked at each other, none the wiser as to what was going on, while Andrew simply continued playing on the Gameboy he'd brought with him.
"Anya." before Xander had the opportunity to try and explain that telling anyone was wrong, the expected conflagration exploded and the raised voice of an extremely annoyed Buffy Summers resounded out into the garden, and if the volume was anything to go by, probably throughout the entire neighbourhood.
"You did what, now, why?!"
"I think she took that better than I expected," stated a shocked Xander after his ears stopped ringing, looking at the stunned faces of the group.
Dawn looked at him, shaking her head. "Let's see if Willow's still alive. Then, if we live through the next ten minutes, it'll have gone better than expected."
"Xander. Explain." demanded Cordelia.
After Xander outlined the plan Willow had devised and the reasoning behind it. The five interested people, and Andrew, settled down to wait for the damage report after the storm had passed.
Only a few streets away a tired and aggravated Spike wandered around the smallish house, finally having escaped the over eager realtor woman. After dodging many inappropriate touches, and attempts on her behalf to give him her phone number, Spike had finally asked her to let him get a feel for the place by himself.
The property was fairy basic and it wasn't much bigger than the flat. But it did have a third bedroom, a separate kitchen and most importantly a back garden that he was currently watching his roommate run around in, as if he'd never seen grass or daylight before.
"Well?" asked the Realtor, unable to leave him alone for more than a few moments.
"It's small. There's barely any garden."
"Garden? Oh the backyard. You know your accent is so sexy."
Spike stepped away from the groping hand reaching for his arm.
As if realising she might be losing a sale with her unwanted attentions she switched back into business mode. "It's a great neighbourhood, everyone's friendly and it's very."
Unfortunately for her at that moment a loud banshee like shriek echoed throughout the house, ".quiet." She looked incredibly annoyed at the obvious contradiction the loud screech had made of her sales pitch.
Spike gave a wicked smile amused at her discomfort. "Sounds like my sort of place. Let's sort out the details."
He walked back into his new home with a partially satisfied real estate agent behind him. The moue she affected was unnecessary for him to realise she was disappointed he hadn't taken any of her hints regarding a deal of a more personal nature. She'd have to resign herself to just having to have the commission from the sale of the house. * Much better than the apartment. * he added mentally.
Willow sat on the couch watching Buffy pace back and forth in front of her. She took a deep breath, thanking whatever deity was looking over her for the small reprieve from the Wrath of Buffy, * Or maybe not, * she thought as Buffy turned towards her and sat on the coffee table to face her.
"Explain to me again, exactly what you did, Willow. "
Willow gulped, " I hired you a Personal Assistant."
"Why exactly would you do that?" asked Buffy in a deceptively sweet voice.
"I thought you could use the help. You're always so busy. This is the first time in an age that we've managed to spend any amount of time together. Dawn said you were having trouble fitting in your studies around the amount of work Hank was getting you to do."
"Dawn was in on this?" At Willows reluctant nod Buffy whispered "Traitor," and continued to mutter under her breath about interfering friends and disloyal family members.
"So you think I can't cope, is that it? That I'm unable to take care of Dawn properly?"
"No. It's nothing like that. Look Buffy. You have coped extraordinarily well since Joyce's death. Having to work, look after Dawn and study. But you don't have any time for you. When was the last time you went down to the beach? Or had the time to go to the movies with Dawn? When did you last do any sculpting?" She noticed Buffy flinch at the last question.
"Buffy you do everything for everyone else and nothing for yourself. All we are trying to do is give you some time to be you. This PA will be able to help you at work and maybe run a few personal errands for you." Willow watched to see if she was buying this in anyway. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth by a long shot. Buffy didn't need to know about his additional orders.
"No."
"No? No to what?"
"No I wont have a PA. I can manage my responsibilities by myself."
"Tough. I already hired him."
"Him? It's a him? And how the hell can you hire somebody for me? Who do you expect to pay him?"
"You will, or at least your company will."
"No way. "
"There's been an allocation in the personnel budget since you joined the firm to hire a PA, you just never did."
"How exactly did you find that out Willow? No, don't tell me you hacked into the company computer to try and ruin my life." Buffy stood and resumed her pacing, every tense step screaming her growing agitation that everyone felt the need to meddle in her life.
"Oh don't be so dramatic. " Willow watched the blonde scurry back and forth on the living room carpet. "I didn't need to hack. Your stubbornness seems to have made you forget my company has the contract for the Computing Division. I know everything your computers know."
Buffy stopped, realising something obvious, "I'll just fire him."
"You can't."
"What?" She turned to look at the woman on the couch.
"You can't. He's hired under a contract to my company. He's got a six- month probation period. If you really don't want him after that time then I'll let him go."
"You've thought of everything, "Buffy turned her back on her annoyed.
"I've tried." She agreed.
"Which of my so-called friends are in on this?"
Now Willow really was angry with her stubborn friend.
"That's enough!" Willow stood up, uncharacteristically letting her anger show, as she continued to talk to Buffy's tense back.
"Your 'so-called friends' have watched you cope with everything life's thrown at you. You've been brilliant. But we hurt when you hurt. Every year we watch you go into a depression. You won't tell us why. You won't let us help. We've had enough Buffy. We are sick of seeing you like this. You will accept this PA. He will help you and you will take time to enjoy life before you work yourself to death. Is this really the life you think your mother would want for you?"
"That's low." Buffy pouted at her as she turned.
"Yes it is. Buffy we're only doing this because we love you. Now you can be stubborn, you can be mad at us and you can sulk. But come Monday morning Spike Giles will be your personal assistant."
"Spike?!"
Willow watched with interest and not some little alarm, as her friend's mouth clamped shut after that loud exclamation, and she slumped into the nearest armchair.
* What on earth did I say to shut Buffy up so quickly? * She was so absorbed in her thoughts she almost missed her friend's capitulation and the small answering voice.
"'kay."
"Spike?!"
The high-pitched shriek attracted the crew on the deck. Andrew was so startled he dropped his game and fumbled for the escaped batteries.
Their interest had been diverted from the goings on inside the house, as the steaks became ready, and Cordelia, with the impatient appetite of an expectant mother, had demanded she be allowed to eat. Xander had quickly agreed and everyone had tucked in.
Cordelia was the first to react. "Spike? As in blonde English Spike?"
"I don't know, but Willow did say she'd met him at a Computer Conference. Come to think of it she did mention he was British. That's the same thing right?" asked Xander
"Close enough, honey." nodded his girlfriend.
"Actually." started Andrew pedantically, but stopped, distracted when Dawn handed him back his fixed game boy.
Cordelia couldn't help her grin.
"What's so funny?" asked her husband, "Cordy, it's 's unlikely that it's the same man."
"Oh come on Angel, how many Englishmen called Spike do you think there are working in LA?"
"Wait, you've met this guy?" Asked Dawn interested. "What's he like?"
Cordelia described him to them.
"He sounds delicious," observed Dawn dreamily
"Oh he is, and believe me Buffy's going down."
At Anya's overly interested look, she amended. "Figuratively speaking. This guy is very astute, he's not gonna let Buffy stonewall him like she has us in the past. This is going to be fun."
"Cordy I don't think Buffy needs confrontation right now, she's in a very delicate place." Angel interrupted.
"Angel, my love. Our Buffy is many things, but delicate is not one of them. " A slow grin graced her features. "I stand by what I said. This is going to be fun."
A tired Buffy awoke to the less than dulcet vocalizations of Xander Harris belting out the words to an overplayed pop song outside her window. Extraordinary construction supervisor he may be, Celine Dion he was not.
She peered blurrily at the alarm clock on her bedside table. Squinting, she could just make out the time as 10:06. *This is Willow's idea of not too early? * Did the evil witch not have a clue as to what time she'd managed to drag herself away from the party?
As eager as the three of them had been to leave, Angel and Buffy had got caught by his parents again and Cordelia, in the meantime, had devoured virtually a quarter of the buffet.
They had dutifully applauded as donator after donator had paraded their cheques in front of the waiting press reporters. Wisely, after last years fight between Josh Hamilton's third wife and girlfriend of that particular moment, the press cameras had been banned.
She had danced with the rich men, the hangers on and the ubiquitous ass pinchers, all the while keeping an eye out for a person called Spike. * Really what sort of person was called Spike?* Not to be outdone a little voice in the back of her mind asked. Why do you get called Spike?* Certain naughty little images popped up.
After saying her farewells, and getting a cab back to her house, she had crawled into bed at the ridiculous hour of four am. And now, as a wake up call she had the dawn chorus of Xander singing 'My Love Shall Go On" as he set up the BBQ.
If she heard one more refrain, Xander would discover waking her this early, would remove any prospect he had of his life going on.
She stuck her head under her pillow in an effort to drown out the appalling noise and in a vain attempt to get some more sleep, when a suspiciously chipper redhead stuck her head around the bedroom door.
"Morning Buffy." Sang Willow happily.
"Willow, tell me you didn't have caffeine. Please." Begged a muffled voice.
"I didn't have caffeine."
"Okay. Now tell me the truth."
"I had caffeine."
Buffy with her face down on the bed threw the pillow at her friend with unerring accuracy considering she didn't even look. "Will, you promised. No more mochaccinnos, the sugar-caffeine rush is too much for you."
Willow entered the room and sat down on the bed. "I got you one."
Buffy's head lifted at lightening speed as her hand made a grab for the polystyrene container in Willow's hand. "You are a Goddess." She whispered as she supped the heavenly concoction and waited for the rush. *Ah legalised additive stimulant. The best.*
She watched warily as Willow got up and headed to the window. Remembering her words from the phone message last night, she was about to ask what was going on when Willow spoke. "Xander's here."
"Yeah I heard. What's with the sudden burst of Celine anyway? And is it justifiable homicide if I kill him for it?"
"Anya. And no." Willow giggled.
"She here too?"
"Oh yes. You know Xander and Anya. Joined at the hips." Willow looked at Buffy as they shuddered at the scary place they had both just visited.
Both friends had mixed feelings regarding Xander's new girlfriend, Anya. The two of them had met when Xander had joined her father's construction consultancy over six years ago. Anya had been very forthright in her pursuit of this 'new addition' and even now, memories of conversations referring to "interlocking bodies", made them cringe.
Oddly it had been Xander who had resisted the development of their relationship, although it was obvious he was attracted to the beautiful blonde/ brunette/ redhead whose hair colour and style managed to change at least once a month. Xander had finally found himself a place where he fitted and he wasn't going to let dating the boss's daughter be the reason for, or against his success. He was going to do it on his own and for four years he had held Anya off, which only seemed to make her more determined to have him.
When he finally made junior partner that was when all hell broke loose. Let's just say four years of pent up passion and sexual tension being released was going to spill over into most situations, and Anya's complete openness regarding all things, but specifically sex, made for some startling revelations that were best left unsaid, or in some unfortunate cases, unseen.
How Anya ever made it to her position as a promising new architect, without deeply embarrassing or scaring away clients they would never know. They had no doubt of her talent, she was innovative and determined, it was just her people skills that were frightening and her love for money, and her quest for orgasms... the list went on. So finally they had admitted it between themselves. They didn't think Anya was good enough for Xander. But then to be honest, no one was going to be good enough for him, and they knew for a fact he felt no one would ever be good enough for his favourite girls.
"It is kind of nice that he's found someone who, you know, loves him." Willow admitted somewhat reluctantly.
Buffy nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but does she have to love him everywhere? I'm still finding it hard to use my washing machine after the time I found them in the laundry room waiting for the spin cycle."
"Jealous much?" Teased Willow with raised eyebrows as she returned to sit beside Buffy.
"Oh yeah." sighed Buffy.
"Yeah me too."
Buffy looked closely at her friend detecting the slight sadness in her eyes. " So no luck with Willow lovage?"
Willow shrugged her shoulders with a moue of disappointment. "There's someone I'm interested in, but it's difficult."
Buffy nudged her shoulder with her own. "Hey. I told you before. I'm very flattered but I don't see you that way."
This elicited the tried for laugh. "Sweetie, you don't know what you're missing."
At this both girls started to roll around on the bed giggling and tickling each other, their empty cups falling to the floor. Oh yeah the sugar rush had arrived.
Xander Harris chose that exact moment to enter the bedroom and halted with an audible gulp. The young women stopped at the sudden intrusion, looked towards him, then back to each other with an identical evil twinkle in their eyes.
They turned their attention back to the brunette, and with a come hither look, Buffy draped one of her arms over Willow's shoulder and began caressing a lock of her russet hair, as Willow placed her hand suggestively on Buffy's knee, trailing her index finger in small patterns.
"Hey Xand. Wanna join us?" asked Willow in the most seductive voice she could muster.
"Hell yeah." And he dove onto the bed, tickling the teasing minxes for all they were worth.
The three friends finally collapsed, exhausted from the caffeine and sugar induced tickle-fest they'd just enjoyed. They hadn't been that stupid in a long while.
Buffy muttered a happy, "I've missed you guys." as Anya wandered through the door.
"Is the orgy over? Because there's couple of tall, glowery brunette people at the front door."
Buffy hopped up quickly from her completely destroyed bed covers and headed to the shower. "It's Angel and Cordy. I invited them last night. God they're early. Can you let them in and make them feel welcome? I'll be down in a few."
"Angel and Cordy? Cordy? As in Cordelia Chase? As in queen bitch of Sunnydale High?" Asked a baffled Xander.
"Yep" came Buffy's voice, muffled by the intervening door, "and they're my friends. So play nice Xander. We're not in high school anymore. We are responsible adults." She thought back to the spur-of-the-moment tickle escapade as she undressed for the shower. "Okay most of the time we're responsible adults. So play nice Xand. Please."
She heard a rather petulant. "I will if she will." As she stepped under the shower.
Suitably clean, awake and dressed comfortably in a worn pair of jeans and old sweatshirt Buffy skipped down the stairs and into the relaxing atmosphere of her kitchen. Her friends were all settled around the counter supping orange juice or coffee. She headed towards the kettle but before she could reach it a hand placed a cup of her favourite tea in hers. She smelt the smokey aroma of the Lapsang Souchong and smiled her thanks at Willow. Okay now she was really suspicious. Willow only made her tea when something was up.
True to their word, her friends had brought with them all the required elements of a fabulous cookout. There were the makings of a salad, large foil wrapped potatoes for baking, huge juicy looking steaks and absurd quantities of alcohol. There was enough for everyone even including the extra couple.
Although there was the occasional mumble from Xander that he wouldn't have any steaks to take home now.
The morning was spent in a pleasant haze, lounging around, eating fresh pastries and fruit salad. Simply enjoying each other's company, relaxing and talking. *Just what the doctor ordered, * thought Buffy, *or he would have if I ever got the time to see him. *
She was happy that Angel and Cordy mixed in with the rest of her friends so well. She had worried about her "two worlds" combining, but as she had danced with Angel last night she had felt that is was time to bring them together. She couldn't really explain why she had kept them apart. So she had asked him if he and Cordelia would like to come over the next day. Angel had surprised her by saying yes. And as she had pondered his answer, she had wondered why she had still continued to look for the Englishman Cordy had described. It was obvious he had been long gone, so why had she kept looking? And why was he there at all?
The day progressed, and when people other than Xander, who was always hungry, expressed an interest in eating, they moved into the garden. The first of many bottles of wine and beer were opened as Xander and Angel gathered together, in the great honoured tradition of men everywhere when confronted with the exciting prospect of playing with fire, around the barbeque.
Dawn arrived home pulling a shy Andrew behind her. They were just in time to see the two males narrowly avoid losing their eyebrows, as an exciting pall of blue flame lit the coals as the lighter fluid ignited. The proud males were upset when their achievement was met with a flurry of giggles from the woman folk, who just couldn't contain their laughter at the sight of the two smoke blackened faces, and slunk off like little boys
The guys returned cleaner and showing a newfound camaraderie 'that could only be forged in the face of death' claimed a slightly intoxicated and overexcited Xander.
While waiting for the marinated meat to cook, Buffy assembled the salad at the deck table and, as her concentration drifted from conversation to conversation, she continued to watch for an opportunity to corner her sneaky friend.
Cordelia and Anya were having a deeply involved conversation regarding their respective sex lives.
"What I want to know is how I'm expected to get in that position with a giant beach ball in my stomach?" lamented Cordy, expressing only one of the many problems she foresaw with making love while heavily pregnant.
Stopping the conversation with a raised finger Anya disappeared for a moment into the house and returned clutching her bag. To Cordy's surprise she presented her with a sex manual. "Pages 91 to 105 are good positions for sex when expecting. Of course they're also extremely stimulating when you're not. Xander and I are going to do position 42 in the advanced section later on tonight while we role-play 'the caveman and the captured virgin'. He has a leopard print loincloth and I've purchased a furry bikini which I have great expectations of him removing with his teeth."
Buffy didn't even know that Cordelia Chase could blush, let alone that much, when Anya started to describe some of her personal favourites.
Angel and Xander's conversation was heavily sports related and Buffy's interest waned quickly from hearing talk of eligible receivers, sacking and men in motion. It was far too testosterone ridden for her, and quite honestly, sounded like it had a little too much in common with Anya and Cordy's discussion.
She watched, getting increasingly annoyed as Willow and Dawn whispered excitedly in each other's ears, looking for all the world like guilty schoolgirls.
*Willow's wily. Like Wile E Coyote,* thought Buffy.*Wait a minute. No. No it was the roadrunner that was the smart one. Out running every trap set by the inept canine.* Buffy could sympathise with his despair of ever catching that elusive bird because Willow had out witted every move she'd made in an attempt to get her to spill the beans about this 'something' she had to tell her. She had let it go for the better part of the day. *Okay, but enough is enough.*
Buffy got up from the table, grabbed Willow's hand and dragged her back into the house. It was time to find out exactly what was going on.
Willow had seen Buffy getting more and more antsy and knew pretty soon she was going to have to come clean. She should have told Buffy as soon as she saw her. She'd had every intention of doing so when she'd taken her the coffee. Problem was, she knew Buffy wasn't exactly going to be happy clappy about this, and had chickened out big time.
Then when she found out Cordy and Angel were here she really didn't want them to witness this. So of course being the self-assured, non-evasive, intelligent person she was, she then managed to avoid her friend's not so subtle hints to tell her what was going on. She had gotten Buffy worked up into a complete lather, and because she hadn't told her out right, it was going to be ten times worse.
"Okay Willow time to 'fess up. What did you have to tell me? What's all the whispering and giggling?"
Willow saw a sudden thought seem to flit through her eyes. "Oh my. Willow, you're not interested in Dawn are you? 'Cos I know she likes boys; at least I'm fairly sure it's boys. "
"Whoa, Buffy relax. No I'm not interested in Dawn, not like that. We were talking about Andrew. She likes him. And hey. Why shouldn't I be interested in Dawn?"
"Honey that wasn't what I meant, I just didn't want you to be hurt. And she's interested in Andrew? .Really? He seems kinda.gay?"
"Yeah well, apparently he's not."
"How would she know? You know what don't tell me. We've had the talk. I trust her." Willow saw Buffy's obvious distress that Dawn hadn't confided in her, but then again when was she around to talk to about these sorts of things. Hopefully this 'project' would rectify the time Buffy had available for herself and Dawn.
"Okay Willow. So if you being interested in Dawn isn't what you had to tell me. What is it? I'm fairly sure you can't tell me my boyfriend's cheating on me this time, 'cos he's sitting in my back yard with his wife. So spill, Missy."
Willow took a deep breath and braced herself for Hurricane Buffy.
"Well you see it's like this."
As Buffy dragged a reluctant Willow into the house, her co-conspirators, Xander, Anya and Dawn watched and waited for the inevitable explosion. This meant their conversations abruptly stopped, and a confused Cordelia asked, "What's going on? "
"Willow's about to tell Buffy she's hired her a man to relieve her stress." Anya stated matter of factly, "They're waiting for her head to explode."
"Ahn, you promised." Whined her boyfriend, " I told you, only on the agreement you wouldn't tell anyone."
"You said I couldn't tell Buffy. You never said anything about telling anyone else." Reasoned a literal Anya.
Cordelia and Angel looked at each other, none the wiser as to what was going on, while Andrew simply continued playing on the Gameboy he'd brought with him.
"Anya." before Xander had the opportunity to try and explain that telling anyone was wrong, the expected conflagration exploded and the raised voice of an extremely annoyed Buffy Summers resounded out into the garden, and if the volume was anything to go by, probably throughout the entire neighbourhood.
"You did what, now, why?!"
"I think she took that better than I expected," stated a shocked Xander after his ears stopped ringing, looking at the stunned faces of the group.
Dawn looked at him, shaking her head. "Let's see if Willow's still alive. Then, if we live through the next ten minutes, it'll have gone better than expected."
"Xander. Explain." demanded Cordelia.
After Xander outlined the plan Willow had devised and the reasoning behind it. The five interested people, and Andrew, settled down to wait for the damage report after the storm had passed.
Only a few streets away a tired and aggravated Spike wandered around the smallish house, finally having escaped the over eager realtor woman. After dodging many inappropriate touches, and attempts on her behalf to give him her phone number, Spike had finally asked her to let him get a feel for the place by himself.
The property was fairy basic and it wasn't much bigger than the flat. But it did have a third bedroom, a separate kitchen and most importantly a back garden that he was currently watching his roommate run around in, as if he'd never seen grass or daylight before.
"Well?" asked the Realtor, unable to leave him alone for more than a few moments.
"It's small. There's barely any garden."
"Garden? Oh the backyard. You know your accent is so sexy."
Spike stepped away from the groping hand reaching for his arm.
As if realising she might be losing a sale with her unwanted attentions she switched back into business mode. "It's a great neighbourhood, everyone's friendly and it's very."
Unfortunately for her at that moment a loud banshee like shriek echoed throughout the house, ".quiet." She looked incredibly annoyed at the obvious contradiction the loud screech had made of her sales pitch.
Spike gave a wicked smile amused at her discomfort. "Sounds like my sort of place. Let's sort out the details."
He walked back into his new home with a partially satisfied real estate agent behind him. The moue she affected was unnecessary for him to realise she was disappointed he hadn't taken any of her hints regarding a deal of a more personal nature. She'd have to resign herself to just having to have the commission from the sale of the house. * Much better than the apartment. * he added mentally.
Willow sat on the couch watching Buffy pace back and forth in front of her. She took a deep breath, thanking whatever deity was looking over her for the small reprieve from the Wrath of Buffy, * Or maybe not, * she thought as Buffy turned towards her and sat on the coffee table to face her.
"Explain to me again, exactly what you did, Willow. "
Willow gulped, " I hired you a Personal Assistant."
"Why exactly would you do that?" asked Buffy in a deceptively sweet voice.
"I thought you could use the help. You're always so busy. This is the first time in an age that we've managed to spend any amount of time together. Dawn said you were having trouble fitting in your studies around the amount of work Hank was getting you to do."
"Dawn was in on this?" At Willows reluctant nod Buffy whispered "Traitor," and continued to mutter under her breath about interfering friends and disloyal family members.
"So you think I can't cope, is that it? That I'm unable to take care of Dawn properly?"
"No. It's nothing like that. Look Buffy. You have coped extraordinarily well since Joyce's death. Having to work, look after Dawn and study. But you don't have any time for you. When was the last time you went down to the beach? Or had the time to go to the movies with Dawn? When did you last do any sculpting?" She noticed Buffy flinch at the last question.
"Buffy you do everything for everyone else and nothing for yourself. All we are trying to do is give you some time to be you. This PA will be able to help you at work and maybe run a few personal errands for you." Willow watched to see if she was buying this in anyway. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth by a long shot. Buffy didn't need to know about his additional orders.
"No."
"No? No to what?"
"No I wont have a PA. I can manage my responsibilities by myself."
"Tough. I already hired him."
"Him? It's a him? And how the hell can you hire somebody for me? Who do you expect to pay him?"
"You will, or at least your company will."
"No way. "
"There's been an allocation in the personnel budget since you joined the firm to hire a PA, you just never did."
"How exactly did you find that out Willow? No, don't tell me you hacked into the company computer to try and ruin my life." Buffy stood and resumed her pacing, every tense step screaming her growing agitation that everyone felt the need to meddle in her life.
"Oh don't be so dramatic. " Willow watched the blonde scurry back and forth on the living room carpet. "I didn't need to hack. Your stubbornness seems to have made you forget my company has the contract for the Computing Division. I know everything your computers know."
Buffy stopped, realising something obvious, "I'll just fire him."
"You can't."
"What?" She turned to look at the woman on the couch.
"You can't. He's hired under a contract to my company. He's got a six- month probation period. If you really don't want him after that time then I'll let him go."
"You've thought of everything, "Buffy turned her back on her annoyed.
"I've tried." She agreed.
"Which of my so-called friends are in on this?"
Now Willow really was angry with her stubborn friend.
"That's enough!" Willow stood up, uncharacteristically letting her anger show, as she continued to talk to Buffy's tense back.
"Your 'so-called friends' have watched you cope with everything life's thrown at you. You've been brilliant. But we hurt when you hurt. Every year we watch you go into a depression. You won't tell us why. You won't let us help. We've had enough Buffy. We are sick of seeing you like this. You will accept this PA. He will help you and you will take time to enjoy life before you work yourself to death. Is this really the life you think your mother would want for you?"
"That's low." Buffy pouted at her as she turned.
"Yes it is. Buffy we're only doing this because we love you. Now you can be stubborn, you can be mad at us and you can sulk. But come Monday morning Spike Giles will be your personal assistant."
"Spike?!"
Willow watched with interest and not some little alarm, as her friend's mouth clamped shut after that loud exclamation, and she slumped into the nearest armchair.
* What on earth did I say to shut Buffy up so quickly? * She was so absorbed in her thoughts she almost missed her friend's capitulation and the small answering voice.
"'kay."
"Spike?!"
The high-pitched shriek attracted the crew on the deck. Andrew was so startled he dropped his game and fumbled for the escaped batteries.
Their interest had been diverted from the goings on inside the house, as the steaks became ready, and Cordelia, with the impatient appetite of an expectant mother, had demanded she be allowed to eat. Xander had quickly agreed and everyone had tucked in.
Cordelia was the first to react. "Spike? As in blonde English Spike?"
"I don't know, but Willow did say she'd met him at a Computer Conference. Come to think of it she did mention he was British. That's the same thing right?" asked Xander
"Close enough, honey." nodded his girlfriend.
"Actually." started Andrew pedantically, but stopped, distracted when Dawn handed him back his fixed game boy.
Cordelia couldn't help her grin.
"What's so funny?" asked her husband, "Cordy, it's 's unlikely that it's the same man."
"Oh come on Angel, how many Englishmen called Spike do you think there are working in LA?"
"Wait, you've met this guy?" Asked Dawn interested. "What's he like?"
Cordelia described him to them.
"He sounds delicious," observed Dawn dreamily
"Oh he is, and believe me Buffy's going down."
At Anya's overly interested look, she amended. "Figuratively speaking. This guy is very astute, he's not gonna let Buffy stonewall him like she has us in the past. This is going to be fun."
"Cordy I don't think Buffy needs confrontation right now, she's in a very delicate place." Angel interrupted.
"Angel, my love. Our Buffy is many things, but delicate is not one of them. " A slow grin graced her features. "I stand by what I said. This is going to be fun."