~ Heart of a Star ~
By Voltora
~ Dedicated to Lil Lupin: friend, critic and mentor ~
Authors Notes
Heart of a Star is rated as PG-13 due to content. This fic touches on the subject of domestic violence and child abuse. The child abuse is not of a sexual manner and I have kept the swearing to a minimum. If you are not comfortable with reading such material then I ask that you do not continue reading.
I began writing this fic in September 2002 and was on the verge of completion when Order of the Phoenix was published in June 2003; therefore, there are considerable differences between the childhood that I have created for Sirius Black and the one portrayed by J.K.Rowling in book 5.
Heart of a Star is a completed fic; all chapters are written and ready for posting. There will be weekly posts every Friday, unless fanfiction.net goes down or other technical on-site problems prohibit posting. (If, for any other reason, I am unable to get to a computer to post another chapter, I will make the effort to post on Saturday morning. Failing that, I will wait until the following Friday.)
Disclaimer – Harry Potter is the legal property of J.K.Rowling; I am merely one of many devoted fans on this site who like to borrow her wonderful creations to improve their writing skills. (You know, if I were J.K.Rowling, I would never have allowed 'that death' at the end of book 5 to occur! How could she have done that??)
Any characters or places that you, as the reader, do not recognise from the books, are products of my own creation unless otherwise stated. Please ask if you wish to use them in your own fics. Any similarity between this fic and any other that has been posted prior to Friday 4th July 2003 is simply coincidental and non-intentional.
Chapter One; An Unexpected Encounter
The Hogwarts Express thundered down the tracks, the pistons clacking loudly as the train raced south towards London. A steady gush of white steam clouds billowed up into the clear blue sky that shone with a warm July sun.
The students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were sad to be leaving school, yet happily anticipating the start of their summer holiday.
Some more so than others.
'You guys are going to have to come over to my place again this summer,' Lily Evans said between giggles. 'I need to get Pet back for throwing out my tank of frogspawn … again.'
'Not an animal lover, I take it?' asked Remus Lupin in mock concern. 'Why, Lily, had I known I wouldn't have suggested it as a birthday gift!'
'But she seemed so jealous of Kali,' said Lily, almost mournfully as she stroked the brindle-coloured tabby cat that was purring contentedly on her lap. 'I really thought Petunia would appreciate my getting her a pet.'
'I guess the high pitched, nasal squealing of "Urgh! Oh, Mummy, Lily's put some more of those disgusting, slimy beasties in my room again!" didn't hint that maybe she didn't like the idea of raising her own amphibians?' said Sirius Black, his eyebrows raised.
'Maybe it wasn't subtle enough?' suggested James Potter.
Lily grinned mischievously. 'Actually, I was thinking that she may prefer something furry next time.' Lily's emerald green eyes sparkled in Peter Pettigrew's direction. Peter gave a nervous laugh.
'Hey, I hope you plan to include the rest of us,' said Sirius pointedly. 'Don't leave us out.'
'Wouldn't dream of it.'
The five of them exchanged knowing smiles. Remus looked especially happy and no one was in any doubt why.
Ever since their second year and the revelation of Remus' lycanthropy, James, Sirius and Peter had been constantly researching and repeatedly attempting a very complicated, and highly dangerous, piece of magic; the Animagus Transformation.
This was the learned ability to transform into a single animal form by force of will. It had taken the best part of three years to discover and piece together the complete works regarding Animagi and to succeed in the actual change.
The entire purpose of attempting such an illegal procedure was so that they would be able to keep Remus company on the nights of the full moon, working on a theory that werewolves were only a threat to humans.
It had not been easy. When Remus had first caught wind of what his friends were up to, he did everything he could to discourage them, and then later stall their efforts by removing the books they needed from the Restricted Section of the library and hiding them away, determined to stop them from endangering themselves.
Lily also discovered the illegal venture and almost went straight to Professor McGonagall and the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, before James and Sirius explained exactly why and how they going about it. Despite her initial objections, Lily finally accepted that the purpose of their plan wasn't entirely selfish and warmed to the idea. James even offered Lily the opportunity to join them but she adamantly refused to have any more than a research contribution to their efforts. Privately, Lily felt they had no chance of success, no matter that James and Sirius were top of the year and very skilled in Transfiguration. The magic was just too far advanced for a trio of thirteen-year-old wizards. Nevertheless, Lily made a point of doing all she could to ensure that none of them ever got hurt.
Then, three years later, in early February, James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew exceeded their own expectations by finally undergoing their very first successful transformation into their respective animal forms; stag, dog and rat. When the three of them excitedly showed Remus what they'd accomplished, he'd been so overcome that he'd gone into shock and burst into happy tears.
But while celebrations were undeniably in order, the real test came with the full moon a week later.
The residents of Hogsmeade were in for a terrific fright when the old haunted house, known as the Shrieking Shack, emitted a chorus of unearthly howls and strange bellows from the depths of the building one night. Anyone who might have taken a few minutes to listen to the sounds may have believed them to be almost joyous, as though the restless spirits imprisoned within were celebrating. But the absurdity of such a statement went unspoken.
What fuelled the rumour mill among the students at the school at about the same time were the bizarre nicknames that the mischievous quartet suddenly began referring to one another with. Collectively known as the Marauders, the four Gryffindor boys relished the puzzlement their new names caused among the staff and their fellow students, especially as they were very careful never to reveal even a hint of the origin of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. There was some speculation but none of the rumours came anywhere close to the truth.
The next four full moons passed with a new development in the Marauders' night-time excursions. Under the cover of darkness, a fully-grown werewolf, accompanied by a handsome red-brown stag, a huge bear-like dog and a plump grey rat began to roam the extensive grounds of Hogwarts and the Forbidden Forest, revelling in the wondrous sensation of their new forms, running wild beneath the glowing orb of the moon above.
Ever growing in confidence, the Marauders were gradually making their way into the school building itself, spurred on by the discovery of a secret passage. On a passing comment from James, the notion of a plan of the castle and grounds was quickly planted into their minds.
The Marauders Map, though far from completed, was slowly but surely developing, each section of the castle carefully drawn by James' steady hand and labelled in Remus' perfectly neat and minuscule writing.
Sirius had grown increasingly impatient for each full moon to be able to run under the stars with Prongs, Wormtail and Moony, venturing into the darkest depths of the forest or to explore the ever-shifting layout of the castle.
Despite the risk of meeting an unwary student or patrolling staff member during their forays into the castle, Remus wasn't overly concerned as long as Prongs and Padfoot were by his side. He had been noticeably overjoyed at Sirius' Animagus form. Since the animal form had to effectively emerge from deep within the wizards' subconscious, they had no choice as to what form they would take. Sirius had been pretty chuffed at the result.
Remus, having been very shy and withdrawn when he'd first arrived at Hogwarts, had only truly begun to open up to people after James, Sirius and Peter had shown him that it didn't matter to them that he was a werewolf. Friendship had been something Remus had very little experience of, yet it didn't stop him from forming a close friendship with Sirius, more so than with James or Peter, which seemed to show on another level as the Animagus Transformation was achieved. Now, both in canine forms, the two celebrated the closeness of their friendship by the full moons, and the strange circumstances that had brought them together.
But now the school term was over and the summer holiday had arrived. To the Marauders' dismay, there were to be two full moons over the six-week break, which they would all be separated on. There was no chance that they could come together on those nights without running the serious risk of revealing their illegal magic. Seeing as how they were very much underage to even consider the Transformation, on which there was a twenty-four year old minimum age limit, the legal consequences included time in Azkaban, the wizard prison. Needless to say, none dared to run that particular risk.
So the Marauders set about arranging alternative ventures to make up for it.
'Padfoot, are you sure your mum doesn't mind having us over for a week?' asked James, biting the head off a Chocolate Frog.
'She won't even know we're there,' said Sirius. 'Mum's practically chained to that cauldron; she'll be in her lab most of the time. She only surfaces to forage for food.'
'Is she still working on those revival concoctions then?' asked Lily.
Sirius thought hard.
'I'm not sure really. She did spew a lot of medical jargon I could barely follow last time I saw her at Easter, but she did seem really pleased so I'll take a stab at yes, she is and it's going well … apparently.'
'So I guess we'd better lay off pulling a prank on her this year.' James squirmed guiltily. Remus gave him a sidelong look.
'I second that. Personally I'd like to avoid scrubbing octopus ink off the ceiling again.'
'How was I to know the mugwort roots would combust like that? I never heard anyone mention that fact, Moony. We all agreed to it.'
'True. But I was the one who suggested we try it on Ursa, not Sirius' mum. At least your sister has a sense of humour, Padfoot.'
'We can get her this year instead.' Sirius grinned, rubbing his hands together gleefully. 'Oh, she is going to pay for dressing Cosmic up in that stupid bonnet and ribbons.'
A distinct mew of agreement sounded above their heads. Cosmic, Sirius' black cat, was stretched out on the luggage rack, looking down on them all with his large green eyes, his long tail swinging back and forth with the rocking of the train.
'Mind you, the pink did kinda suit him,' laughed James, ducking to avoid the angry swipe of a paw.
A shrill whistle echoed down the compartments, signalling the train's arrival into the outskirts of London. The Marauders had just changed out of their robes as the Express pulled into Kings Cross Station.
Sirius waved to Cosmic and patted his shoulder. The cat leapt lightly down from the luggage rack to drape himself around Sirius' neck and shoulders like a furry scarf.
The train came to a halt, jolting everyone and their trunks forward. The doors slid open onto a crowded platform of waiting parents. A sudden torrent of students poured out in an effort to locate families before the platform became swamped.
The Marauders hung back, gathering their belongings and seizing heavy trunks, waiting for a lull in the flow of students outside the compartment door.
A second year student staggered into the compartment, dragging her trunk behind her, leaving it half out in the corridor where several people proceeded to trip over it and bruise their feet. The girl was dressed in Muggle clothes but had neglected to remover her hat, which was slighted too large for her. She tilted her head back to see out from under the brim.
'Siri?' came a sweet, innocent-sounding voice.
Sirius rolled his eyes, reached over and lifted the hat up, holding it just above the girl's head, smiling good-naturedly at the impish grin on her face, not unlike his own.
A pair of pale blue eyes shone from beneath a shining mass of raven black hair, which tumbled out from the confines of the hat and all over her pretty face.
'Hi Ursa!' said Lily, smiling. 'Had a good term?'
Ursa nodded.
'I can't wait for next year,' she said breathlessly. 'I'll get to study Arithmancy!'
Sirius raised an eyebrow at his little sister.
'You are very strange. I swear one of us is adopted.'
He dropped the hat back onto her head and pulled it down over her eyes.
'It has to be you. Mum would have refused to have another kid if you'd arrived first,' Ursa retorted from under the brim.
'Must be; she saw how much trouble you were going to be and decided to adopt an older brother for you to keep you in line.'
'And look what happened!'
'Poor Mum - most of her ideas don't backfire so drastically.'
Diving out into the corridor, the Marauders made their way out onto the platform, amid a surging mass of bodies and temporarily abandoned trunks. Cat baskets and owl cages were held aloft as students edged slowly towards the barrier that led out onto the Muggle station.
James, the tallest of the four, craned his neck to see above the crowd. Sirius grabbed his little sister's hand tightly before the surging crowd could force them apart.
The guard at the barrier was letting people out a few at a time so as not to startle the Muggles. As the platform slowly emptied, the Marauders were able to make their way gradually over to where they could see Mr. and Mrs. Lupin.
Mrs. Lupin hurried forward the instant she spotted her son and gave him a hug, then quickly checked him over, asking in a low whisper how he was. Remus assured his mother he was fine, clearly hoping she wasn't about to make a fuss in front of his friends. Mr. Lupin smiled and greeted the Marauders politely. There was a sense of deep gratitude from both the senior Lupins, since they were both fully aware that James, Sirius, Peter and Lily knew of Remus' condition yet held no prejudice against him.
'See you in a few weeks!' James and Sirius yelled simultaneously as the Lupins made their departure, Remus waving back at them as the guard motioned them through the barrier.
Peter vanished as his mother swept him away with only a few words of greeting and goodbye. He smiled apologetically as he disappeared into the crowd, squeaking a brief 'Bye!'
Lily's face spilt into a broad grin as her parents emerged from the crowd. Both were Muggles and a little wary of the mysteriously concealed platform, though equally happy to see their daughter running to meet them.
Skulking behind them, gripping her father's arm in a vice-like grip with her eyes screwed shut as though she were scared to death and repulsed by where she was, was Lily's older sister, Petunia.
Sirius was firmly convinced that one or the other was truly adopted. Unlike Ursa and himself, there was nothing that Lily or Petunia had in common to joke and tease each other about. Lily had beautiful dark red hair, bright green eyes and a slender figure developing while her sister was rake-thin with lank blond hair and murky blue eyes that held nothing but scorn as they reluctantly opened on her father's request to greet her sister. Sullenly, Pet mumbled a hello, clearly wanting to leave, preferably without her freak witch sister. Lily responded pleasantly enough to her less-than-enthusiastic sibling, though she had long given up on tolerance, much less acceptance from her.
Catching the elder Evans daughter's eye, Sirius gave a wicked smile in unison with James. Recognition flooded Pet's fearful gaze, shifting to Lily, hissing urgently between gritted teeth. Lily looked back over her shoulder at the two of them who instantly assumed virtuous smiles and meek postures that screamed innocence.
Lily wasn't fooled for a second. She gave them both a pointed look; Stop teasing her … that's my job.
Obediently, they refined from approaching. Waving goodbye, the two of them set off in search of James' parents, Ursa behind them who waved cheerfully back at the Evans. Pet shuddered, her lip curling.
'James! James, over here!'
Mr. Potter's voice broke through the background noise. James spun round and caught sight of his father moving towards them.
'There you are. I must have been up and down the platform twice.' Ian Potter was a tall, strapping man with James' untidy black hair. He looked about the bustling crowd in dismay. 'Well, could be worse, I suppose. Did you have a good term, James? Sirius?'
James and Sirius grinned mischievously, sneaking sly glances at one another. Ian raised a hand to silence them just as they opened their mouths to reply.
'No, on second thoughts, the number of owls we've had is a fair indication. Do the two of you intend to break some sort of record?'
'Absolutely Dad. We're already on our way to achieving the most number of detentions than any previous student; doesn't that make you feel proud?'
Ian fixed his son with a mildly stern glare.
'So long as you keep those marks up, I'll have no reason to punish you.'
He held out his hand expectantly.
James dug into his pocket and pulled out a parchment envelope. Ian transferred the exam results to his own pocket without opening it. 'Your mother will want to see these. I trust she will be pleased?'
James nodded fervently.
'Sirius, how did your OWLs go?'
'Pretty well, actually. Potions was a bit iffy but I did okay on the rest.'
As they talked, the four of them left platform nine and three quarters and headed out into Muggle London. A large Ministry car was parked just across the road, waiting for them.
Their three heavy trunks disappeared into the cavernous boot of the car while James, Sirius and Ursa piled into the backseat together. Cosmic, refusing to get into his carrier basket, settled himself on Ursa's lap where he sat quietly as she stroked and whispered to him. Ian got into the front seat beside the driver and they set off through the busy traffic, weaving through the tightest gaps with ease and snaking its way to the middle of a slow moving queue heading out of London.
'Are you going to see your father this summer, Sirius?' asked James as they emerged on the motorway.
'I hope so,' said Sirius. 'We haven't seen him for ages, have we, Ursa?'
'No. We saw him at Christmas, though.' Ursa smiled but her eyes were sombre. 'He promised he'd see us for longer this time.'
'Ministry keeping him busy then?'
'Yeah,' said Sirius sadly. 'But he's been clocking up so much overtime they owe him lots of holiday.'
'He did say in his last owl that he'd try to take some time off soon to spend with us,' Ursa added. She looked to her brother. 'Didn't he?'
'Course he did. You know Dad doesn't make a promise he won't keep.'
'Well, let us know won't you, Padfoot? Can't go planning pranks with only three-quarters of the Marauders around. It's not the same otherwise.'
The journey passed quickly and without incident. In next to no time, the Ministry car had pulled up outside Sirius' home in Buckinghamshire.
'Thanks for the lift, Mr. Potter,' said Sirius politely.
'Yes, thank you,' Ursa added, after a prompting nudge.
'No problem, you two. Do you want a hand with those trunks?'
'No thanks, we can manage.'
The moment the car door was open Cosmic sprang out and darted over the low front garden wall, across the driveway and down the side of the house to the back door cat-flap. Sirius and Ursa grabbed their trunks and dragged them up the drive as the car drove away, Sirius yelling, 'See ya, Prongs!' and James shouting a reply just as the Potters swung round the corner.
Halfway to the door, Sirius paused. He looked over the house. It looked exactly the same as he remembered it from last summer, but ... somehow ... something was different. Ursa looked curiously over her shoulder at him.
'Siri? What's wrong?'
'I'm not sure.' Sirius' gaze swept up and down the street behind him. It looked like the perfectly normal Muggle street that it was. And yet he just knew the difference wasn't a visible thing. He shivered, trying to shake the feeling off. It was probably nothing. He was being silly. 'Never mind. Let's just get inside, and drag Mum away from her beloved cauldron.'
The front door key was hidden under a loose brick in the doorstep. Sirius opened up the door, dragging his trunk over the threshold. Ursa followed suit, banging it into the doorframe.
Dropping it in the hallway Sirius was just about to call to his mother when a stranger came out of the kitchen. Both of them froze, staring at each other. Sirius warily eyed the man, Ursa peering curiously around her brother.
The stranger was about five foot eight with large muscular arms. His short brown hair was receding from his forehead. At a guess, Sirius placed his age at late thirties, if not early forties. Cold, slate-grey eyes met Sirius' pale blue ones, then looked him up and down like the man was trying to assess something. Sirius felt rather uncomfortable and disconcerted. A friendly smile abruptly wiped away the prior calculating stare as though the man was satisfied with what he saw.
'Hello there,' he said. His voice was deep and smooth, his grey eyes watching Sirius expectantly.
Sirius was about to demand that the stranger identify himself when, at that moment, there came a clatter of feet from the kitchen and Sirius' mother, Andromeda, appeared at the man's shoulder. She didn't seem to notice the awkwardness of the situation. Instead she seemed flustered, looking from Sirius to Ursa like she barely recognised them.
'Sirius? Ursa? What are you two doing home?'
'School term's over,' said Sirius, not taking his eyes off the stranger.
'Mum!'
Ursa threw herself into her mother's arms. Andromeda seemed to wake up at that moment; she hugged her daughter briefly, realised that Sirius was staring at the man by her side, and straightened up, smiling apologetically.
'Oh, how rude of me. Sirius, Ursa, I'd like you to meet Richard.' She beamed up at the man. Richard nodded politely. Robotically, almost. He held out a hand to Ursa who was nearest.
'A pleasure to meet you, Ursa.' He smiled warmly as Ursa shyly took his hand. 'Why, Ann, you never told me how lovely your daughter is. Quite the charmer.' Ursa giggled, her face turning red. 'Yes, you are certainly as beautiful as your mother, and there I was thinking that wasn't possible.' Richard smoothly winked up at Andromeda who went an even deeper shade of red than Ursa.
Sirius stayed where he was.
Slowly, Richard moved towards him, his hand outstretched, and his smile somewhat fixed, like a stone statue.
Sirius eyed the hand warily. When he didn't take it, Andromeda glared sternly at him, mouthing 'Be polite!'
Reluctantly, Sirius shook Richard's hand, forcing his face into a small, half-hearted smile, muttering, 'Hello,' rather stiffly.
'Nice to meet you … er … Sirius,' Richard boomed cheerfully. 'Such an unusual name, I must say.'
'My father chose it.' Sirius fixed Richard with an accusing stare.
Richard looked rather taken aback. Straightening his jacket, he turned to Andromeda with an uncertain smile.
'Well … er … I really ought to be going. It's getting late. I'll see you soon.'
Andromeda's face lit up like a star.
'Yes, of course!'
And to Sirius' absolute disgust, Richard leaned over and kissed his mother on the lips. Ursa stared, taking a step back, not sure whether to look away or watch.
They broke apart, Andromeda gazing into Richard's eyes adoringly, oblivious to her children's presence.
Sirius pushed past them into the kitchen. Going straight to the cupboard he yanked it open, grabbed the nearest glass and shoved it closed. It slammed louder than he'd intended but the loud bang was oddly satisfying.
Pouring a glass of fruit juice and slopping some over the table, he only just caught a few low murmurings at the front door, then the sound of it being closed. Sirius didn't look up as his mother came and stood in the doorway, her arms folded. Sirius focused on his juice, trying to determine where the pineapple taste that was promised on the bottle was.
'Sirius.'
Nope, all he could taste was grapefruit and citrus.
'Sirius, did you really have to be so rude?'
The glass hit the table with a hollow clunk. Half turning his head, he asked, 'Who is that guy?'
Andromeda looked perplexed.
'His name's Richard. Weren't you listening when I told you?'
'No, what I meant was, who is that guy? What was he doing here?'
Andromeda seemed pained. She sat down opposite Sirius, her light brown hair tousled in a frizzy mess. Her eyes drew Sirius' sullen gaze, sad and rueful.
'Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for Richard to stay so long … you just got home earlier than I thought you would. I was hoping to introduce him properly tomorrow.'
'Yeah, it would have been nice to have had some sort of warning,' said Sirius, staring morosely at the table, 'instead of seeing you kiss some total stranger in the hall the minute I get home from school.'
'Richard isn't a stranger,' she insisted gently. 'We met just after Easter and … well … we starting spending some time together.'
'So you've been going out for how long?' Sirius asked, his voice flat.
'Officially? Two months.'
Sirius nodded glumly. Andromeda gave him an exasperated look.
'Sirius, I don't want you thinking that I'm being unfaithful to your father or something silly like that. We are divorced now and I for one would like to get on with my life.' She reached for his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. 'I'm sorry it's clearly started off on the wrong foot but I'd really love for you and Ursa to give Richard a chance. Get to know him before you condemn the poor guy. Think you can give him a chance? For me? Please, Star?'
At the mention of his childhood pet name, Sirius took a deep, calming breath, taking it in slowly and letting it out after a five second count.
'Okay,' he said softly, quite steadily this time.
'Thank you, Sirius. I really appreciate it. Tomorrow, you , Ursa and Richard can start again over dinner.'
'Dinner? Er, Mum, no offence, but your cooking skills are … well … lacking. In taste. Nutritional value. Edible parts.'
At this, Andromeda gave her son a beseeching smile, her eyes wide and pleading.
Sirius groaned. 'Oh, Mum …'
'Oh, but you can really work magic in the kitchen! I'm frightened of scaring Richard off if I dare cook a meal.' She hesitated for a moment, and then said clearly and carefully, 'But there is one thing I must make very clear, Sirius … Richard is a Muggle.'
Sirius looked up at her in surprise. He thought hard for a moment.
'So he doesn't know we're magic?' he asked slowly.
'No, he doesn't, and it's going to stay that way. At the moment I don't think it would be a good idea to tell him, so I want all magic items, references - everything … to be kept secret. Okay?'
Sirius raised an eyebrow at this.
'But, Mum, my friends are coming over for a week, remember? I wrote and asked you over a month ago and you said it was okay.'
'Well, I'm sorry Sirius but it's just not a good idea now. Richard comes and goes a lot and I don't want him to overhear anything strange or obscure that he'll be sure to question. To reveal the existence of magic to an unsuspecting Muggle must be done very delicately. 'Andromeda paled anxiously at the thought. 'I really want to make sure he won't go away believing we're crazy or delusional.'
'So they can't come over,' said Sirius moodily.
'No.'
Sirius slumped in his chair, disbelievingly. How unfair was that?
'You can still go over and see them, Sirius. There's no need for the long face. It's just how things are right now.'
Andromeda rose and gave him a hug.
'Don't worry your handsome self about it. Everything will work out fine, you'll see.' She kissed him on the cheek. 'Welcome home,' she said, and left the kitchen.
Sirius stared blankly at the wall.
'Yeah. Great to be back,' he muttered bitterly.
*
To Be Continued
*
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