Obi Wan traveled over to Yoda's house to tell him what had happened
to his fingers. Yoda opened his door and laughed when he saw Obi Wan's four
missing fingers. "Me see your apprentice burn fingers off. Hahahaha..."
Yoda said to Obi Wan while making drinks for both of them. "But Yoda, this
is a serious matter." Obi Wan said, taking a sip of the drink Yoda had made
him. "That it is, the pork is strong with him, for he holds it in his lunch
socks." "It's lunch box Yoda, lunch box."
A voice could be heard in the distance, getting closer by the second. "Obi Wan, the old foolish man who has very short memory. Oh yes he has very short memory." Luke was singing that as he walked into Yoda's hut. Obi Wan tried to stick his middle fingers at Luke. "Right he is, short memory you do have." Once again, Obi Wan realized he had no middle fingers anymore.
Luke bowed to Yoda for a polite greeting. "Strong, the pork is with you." Yoda said mistakenly in a New York accent. He smacked his chest twice and talked like he usually did again. "Give me the pork you have." Yoda said in a very serious voice. Luke looked at Yoda's hands and saw no gloves, just Yoda's skin. "But Yoda, you have no sign of protection, your hands will be burned badly." Luke said to Yoda. "Just give me it, it shall not burn me." With that Luke handed the pork to Yoda, so he would not get him too mad.
Amazingly, it did not burn Yoda's hands. Luke looked stun at the sight of Yoda just holding it, without any sign of pain. Obi Wan put his gloves on, stole the piece from Yoda, and threw it at Luke's hands. "I have gloves on you idiot." Luke said, making a point that Obi Wan really did have memory damage. Yoda sat in the corner laughing as Luke put the pork back into his pocket. Obi Wan, now mad from being called an idiot, walked over to Luke to attack him. Yoda could sense this in his mind and attacked Obi Wan with his cane, eventually killing him.
Yoda then looked at Luke. "Your first Jedi mission starts now, go kill Darth Skywalker. Wait, I've given away too much, his name is Darth Vader, go kill him." "But Yoda, why did you call him Darth Skywalker." Yoda started breathing extremely loud and hard. "Because...he is...your father." "Are you serious, Yoda?" "Hell no, I just made that up to freak you out." Luke then went on his way to find Darth Skywalker, I mean Darth Vader.
A week took place before Luke found Darth Vader. "Luke...I am...your father." Darth said, breathing hard. "No you are not, Yoda already told me." "Damn...I wanted...to make...that statement...freak you out." Luke didn't reply, he just quickly threw his piece of pork at Darth Vader. The piece of pork burned through his ugly cheap plastic costume and killed him.
One million years later Luke was still alive thanks to his power in the pork. Yoda was also still alive. Luke was fighting Mike Tyson in a boxing match. The first punch that hit Luke killed him. Yoda ran into the ring and bit Mike Tyson's ear off. "How do you like it?" Yoda yelled loudly. After that Yoda ran around the gym he was in poking people with his stick.
THE END
A voice could be heard in the distance, getting closer by the second. "Obi Wan, the old foolish man who has very short memory. Oh yes he has very short memory." Luke was singing that as he walked into Yoda's hut. Obi Wan tried to stick his middle fingers at Luke. "Right he is, short memory you do have." Once again, Obi Wan realized he had no middle fingers anymore.
Luke bowed to Yoda for a polite greeting. "Strong, the pork is with you." Yoda said mistakenly in a New York accent. He smacked his chest twice and talked like he usually did again. "Give me the pork you have." Yoda said in a very serious voice. Luke looked at Yoda's hands and saw no gloves, just Yoda's skin. "But Yoda, you have no sign of protection, your hands will be burned badly." Luke said to Yoda. "Just give me it, it shall not burn me." With that Luke handed the pork to Yoda, so he would not get him too mad.
Amazingly, it did not burn Yoda's hands. Luke looked stun at the sight of Yoda just holding it, without any sign of pain. Obi Wan put his gloves on, stole the piece from Yoda, and threw it at Luke's hands. "I have gloves on you idiot." Luke said, making a point that Obi Wan really did have memory damage. Yoda sat in the corner laughing as Luke put the pork back into his pocket. Obi Wan, now mad from being called an idiot, walked over to Luke to attack him. Yoda could sense this in his mind and attacked Obi Wan with his cane, eventually killing him.
Yoda then looked at Luke. "Your first Jedi mission starts now, go kill Darth Skywalker. Wait, I've given away too much, his name is Darth Vader, go kill him." "But Yoda, why did you call him Darth Skywalker." Yoda started breathing extremely loud and hard. "Because...he is...your father." "Are you serious, Yoda?" "Hell no, I just made that up to freak you out." Luke then went on his way to find Darth Skywalker, I mean Darth Vader.
A week took place before Luke found Darth Vader. "Luke...I am...your father." Darth said, breathing hard. "No you are not, Yoda already told me." "Damn...I wanted...to make...that statement...freak you out." Luke didn't reply, he just quickly threw his piece of pork at Darth Vader. The piece of pork burned through his ugly cheap plastic costume and killed him.
One million years later Luke was still alive thanks to his power in the pork. Yoda was also still alive. Luke was fighting Mike Tyson in a boxing match. The first punch that hit Luke killed him. Yoda ran into the ring and bit Mike Tyson's ear off. "How do you like it?" Yoda yelled loudly. After that Yoda ran around the gym he was in poking people with his stick.
THE END