The Elements Series is set immediately after 'And It Rained…' So you must read that first! Also, this fic isn't pure Buffy/Spike - Willow/Kennedy, Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya and hints of Dawn/Andrew are also included. Others will appear later on too, and I'm open to ANY suggestions to improve the fic! (though I completely draw the line at B/A or Riley returning - lol)
Distribution: Just let me know please! Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all the characters, and so does ME, Fox, etc
***
Giles held back the tears and embraced his slayer again.
Buffy was right, Faith had been so brave.
But Buffy was blaming herself; he could see it in her eyes. He knew what she was thinking…if she had reached just an inch further…she would've caught Faith. And the First. Which meant, when it came down to it, everything had happened the way it was supposed to. The hellmouth sealed for now, with the First trapped inside. Of course, the First wasn't killed, just prevented from wreaking quite as much havoc. There was no doubt in the watcher's mind that one day, the First Evil would find a way out, and humanity would be threatened once more. But not in his, or Buffy's lifetime, thank god.
"You said…Willow. Is she okay?"
Buffy shook her head. "Not really." She sighed. "Will's unconscious in a room not far from yours. They…god, Giles, the doctors don't know when she'll wake up. If ever."
Giles took this in. "She will, Buffy. She's strong. Willow will wake up soon, I promise. She'll be fine." As he watched a tear rolled down Buffy's cheek, he prayed desperately that he would be able to keep his promise.
"And Anya?"
"No word yet. We can only hope that she'll appear in a day or two. I hope that she just took off as soon as it was over, needed to think everything over, or something like that. Xander is…he's not good. He keeps saying that she's dead. I really hope he's wrong…" Buffy brushed her hair behind her ear. He took off for his flat as soon as we got you and Will to the hospital. I thought he should have some time to himself."
Giles frowned. "I think in these circumstances Xander needs someone to be there for him. Especially if he truly believes Anya is dead…who knows what he might do?"
Buffy nodded, now very worried. "I'll go round to get him in a minute, and take him back to my house."
"How
is everyone else?"
"Bad. Kennedy is with Will, she may have a broken leg. Vi has her head in a
bandage and arm in a sling, Dawn and Andrew have seen better days, but Amanda
seems to be fine. Oh and Spike. He got out okay."
Giles studied Buffy's face carefully. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
"What would I want to tell you?" Buffy tried to look innocent.
"It's just…when you mentioned Spike…" Giles stopped mid-sentence, as he saw her eyes flicker. Ah. He got it. "Nothing." Believe me, as soon as I get out of here it will be something. But he left it for now.
"Giles…" Buffy got up and straightened Giles' blanket. "I have to go now, but I'll come back later, to see how you're doing, okay?"
Her watcher nodded and smiled at her. She returned the smile, but faintly.
"Be safe…send my love to Dawn."
Buffy nodded. "I will."
And she shut the door gently behind her.
*********
Buffy wandered back to the waiting area, grabbing an ice pack on her way.
Spike and Dawn stood up as she approached.
"Did you…"Dawn paused. "Did you tell him what had happened?"
Buffy nodded.
"Someone mind filling me in at some point?" Spike raised an eyebrow.
Buffy smiled softly and pressed the ice pack to her forehead. "I'll tell you when we get back."
Andrew spoke up. "So…so are we going back to the house now? Cause I think I left my microwave on…"
"Andrew," Buffy looked at him, slightly amused. "It's not your microwave."
"We'll see…" Andrew looked at her as slyly as he could. "We'll see…"
Buffy rolled her eyes as she turned towards the others. "Amanda, Vi. We're going."
"What about Kennedy?" Vi pointed out.
"I stopped to check on her and Will after I left Giles," Buffy explained. "She wanted to stay a little longer. She'll call us just before she comes home."
They made their way towards the exit.
"There's someone we have to get before we go back…" Buffy announced.
"Who?" asked Vi.
"Xander."
*******
Rocking on his heels, Xander Harris shuddered as a tear rolled down his cheek.
He couldn't face anything. Anyone. Not now. Not ever.
So he slowly turned around, his face shadowed by the dim lighting, and shuffled to the kitchen.
He tugged on the cold metal handle of the kitchen drawer. The drawer slid open to reveal a standard cutlery tray, but on top of them was a large, sharp kitchen knife.
Xander forced his shaking hand to reach towards the knife, and close his fingers around it.
It felt cool in his grip. Calming.
He examined it carefully and tilted it to the left. The sharp metal object glinted in the light, coaxing him to put it to his skin.
So he lifted his left wrist, put it to the edge of the knife, and held his breath. He wasn't going to break down. Not after all this. He didn't have any tears left.
Xander slowly released his breath, and prepared to leave the world.
"Xander!"
His head whipped up.
"Xander!!"
Buffy ran to his side and snatched the knife from his hand. "What the hell are you doing?" Her eyes were wide with fear, terrified that if she had been a second later, she might've lost another friend that night.
"I…" Xander stuttered. "I can't…not any more…" And with that he broke his promise to himself, and collapsed on the floor in a sobbing heap. "Anya…" he whispered.
His body shook with pure hatred for still being in this world when he could not share it with the one person who ever truly understood him. He had lost the woman he loved, and he just couldn't understand what he could have done to deserve this pain. He hated himself for being alive without her.
Buffy knelt down beside him, worry evident in her eyes, tears beginning to form again.
"Maybe…" she paused. "Maybe she survived Xand. We still don't know for sure."
She got no response, only more tears.
So she took his hand and held it tight. "But we'll get you through this. Just come home with me, yeah?" The slayer tried to get him to stand up. "I'll look after you. You don't have to be alone…"
She slid her arm under his shoulder and supported him as they walked to the door of his flat.
As they stumbled out of the building, Xander almost hated himself for not being a second quicker, so he didn't have to face this world any more.
But another part of him, a saner part that was buried deep inside, took in Buffy's words and was grateful for them. He knew he didn't have to face this pain on his own anymore.
I'm not alone.
**********
Buffy turned the door handle to the Summers' residence wearily, and forced the door open. The second she did so, everyone piled into the house – Amanda and Spike supporting Xander. Vi, Dawn and Andrew shuffled into the living room, and threw themselves down on the sofa. Guess everyone's still staying here then…Buffy sighed but managed to smile encouragingly at Xander as Amanda and Spike helped him upstairs to her room.
The remaining Slayer made her way to the kitchen to try and find a painkiller and maybe a strong cup of coffee. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard, the white medicine box from under the sink and sat down at the table.
Leaning slightly backwards on her seat she could see Andrew setting up the sofa for himself; Vi laying out duvets on the floor; Amanda leaping down the stairs; and to her surprise Dawn hobbling down the stairs after her, armed with her own duvet and pillow to join them.
"Looks like they're settling down for the night then."
Buffy nodded thoughtfully. She had felt Spike walk up behind her just before she noticed Vi making the living room floor her own.
Spike slipped off his coat.
"What do you want?" He said, walking over to the stove. "Eggs? Bacon?"
Buffy's head whipped round. "What?" She raised an eyebrow. "You're going to cook?"
"You need something to eat, luv," Spike grabbed a frying pan. "You're worn out."
"I'm fine," Buffy waved her hand dismissively. "Not hungry. Got post-fight and post-rainstorm jitters." She looked at him pointedly.
He bent down to lean towards her on the table and kissed her lightly on the nose.
"Jitters or no jitters, you, Miss Summers, are going to have a meal," He smiled widely. "And like it."
Buffy rolled her eyes as he straightened up and got back to the stove.
"Now, eggs boiled or fried?"
"Scrambled." Buffy smirked
*********
Dawn's eyes widened and she backed away from the half-shut kitchen door. The ex-key could barely believe that she had just seen what she had. Buffy and Spike. Together. Again.
She stumbled over to the stairs and sat down on the bottom step. I should've known… Dawn had noticed something was…different when they were at the hospital. But she had ignored it, not thinking…
She tried to be angry, and clenched her fists, ready to hit Spike for moving in on her sister again. Not that she would actually, you know, knock him out, but it would be worth a try. He attacked her…he almost…she tried to get herself mad at him again, but she just couldn't manage it. Dawn knew how much her sister trusted him now, and how she had forgiven him a long time ago. She remembered what Buffy had told her… "For the record? Spike knew how wrong it was. That's why he went away."
Dawn frowned, stood up and looked back through the crack in the door. The two were bickering; something about scrambled eggs and whether or not Buffy thought she would get food poisoning from Spike's cooking.
"You haven't cooked for over 100 years!" her sister screeched at the vampire.
"How hard can it be?" Spike threw his hands in the air for emphasis.
Buffy raised both eyebrows at him.
Spike mirrored her look.
Silence.
Buffy rolled her eyes in defeat. "Fine!" she moved forwards in her chair. "But if I get food poisoning from weirdly-cooked eggs…" She made a slicing motion across her neck.
"I'll have you know I used to cook for my mum all the time," Spike said indignantly.
As they continued their argument, Dawn sighed to herself. She couldn't be mad at him, or her for that matter. And she was tired.
Dawn glanced back at Buffy and Spike. As Spike leaned forwards to kiss her again, Buffy melted and agreed to give the chef a chance.
Dawn almost smiled at the sight of them and agreed with herself not to make a scene right then.
So the Slayer's younger sister padded across the hallway and back to bed in the living room. And somehow? Knowing that they were together made her feel kinda happy.
*********
AN: *pokes reader* Review! There's a candy cane waiting for you behind the review button. Honest.