Sagey's Story
She was not the sort of woman a man like him would want. Instead of expensive garments, she wore simple pieces of whatever was left over from the older girls, or, in desperate cases, boys. But she was tall, so sometimes decent clothes were hard to come by. Many times on cooler days he would see her traipsing the streets in one of Jack Kelly's vests that he wasn't wearing that day, and her hair would be wrapped, as usual, in the boy's handkerchief. He couldn't understand why she kept it cooped up that way; if he had his way, it would be allowed to cascade like red waterfalls down her back; he would run his hands through those waves and make her feel what he felt for her.
Her height. It was good that she was tall - an inch or two shorter than him - and he knew she was perfect for him. She could almost look him straight in the eye, or so he imagined, if she stood directly in front of him. But so far he had never had the chance to find out what it would be like to lock gazes with her. He admired her from afar, waiting for the day when somehow, someway he would be able to woo her and offer her better than any of those boys could.
And after almost an entire year of imagining, anticipating, waiting, his golden opportunity was the thing that got him out of bed today.
It was no secret, her condition. She was probably seven months along, and it was visible. The guys were bright enough to know that the growth in her stomach wasn't just a few extra pounds gained from reckless eating. Sure, there had been whispers, but that didn't last long; she just came right out and said it one day during her sixth month.
"Boys," she had announced, "I'm having a baby!" Because that was just the way she was. Trust Sage to acknowledge the bright side of a potentially horrendous situation. Well, after that the boys only talked with her about the happiness that would come with the new addition to their family. Suppertime was spent discussing possible names, lunchtime was spent arguing over who would get to hold the little bundle of joy first; of course, the obvious answer to that question would have to be the father - he deserved to hold the baby first. But then that brought up another question. Who was he?
This she refused to tell them.
"I guess you'll find out when it's born," was the only answer she would give.
"But dat's cheap. What if it just looks like you?" pointed out Boots.
"When then I guess you'll nevah know," Sage said with a smile.
And neither would she.
She was but sixteen years old, and yet she had enough discipline not to allow herself to become overly intimate with anyone who might be interested in her. Yes, she was a mature sixteen - in mind and body. She knew her full figure was certainly desirable, and her dark auburn hair made her stand out when she walked with a crowd. Even though her height and natural body strength provided protection, she knew that if a predator was determined enough he would be able to overpower her. This was not her biggest fear, though, as she knew the guys looked out for her. They had done a perfect job so far; never had she been attacked or even had a hand laid on her the wrong way, and so one of the possibilities of how this baby had come to be was no longer.
The thing was, though, that was the only possible way she could have conceived. It was simple. She had not given herself to anyone. And if she had, she did not remember it..
At first, she was terrified. 'How did this happen?!' she wondered in bewildered horror, in the very clutches of fear. 'Well, maybe it's just a couple of missed periods.' She was trying to control herself, to justify the situation.
But after three more months with no blood, she decided it was time to face up. She was gaining minimal weight, too - not so much that her clothes didn't fit anymore because they had always been too big for her - and after a few minutes' thought and preparation she decided to tell the boys. They were like her brothers, after all; she couldn't just keep this from them.
So she was as frank with them and open about it as possible. She didn't want there to be any unanswered question - except for the ultimate unanswerable, of course.
Today, for some reason, she was feeling particularly vulnerable, and found it difficult to move through the crowds in the streets. She was feeling the extra weight, too, and couldn't maneuver her way around the obstacles as easily as before. But she couldn't just stay home. She had to sell. "Maybe it's time for a break," she said to herself and headed straight for Tibby's. It was no surprise that Bumlets, Mush, Blink, and that older man were already dining there.
"Hey, Sagey." Mush motioned to her.
"Aftahnoon, fellas," she greeted, as he rose to hug her. She wasn't sure how she should act towards the businessman, or whatever he was, that had been spending time with the boys ever since last year. They had been introduced once, but hadn't had interaction beyond that; somehow their time with the boys had never overlapped. 'I guess it's about time I talked to him,' she decided. 'What's his name? Oh, yeah..Denton.'
She stared at him. She couldn't help it - he was looking at her, casually it seemed, with a small yet welcoming smile. She knew she was perceptive; even after looking into his eyes for a mere two seconds she knew what he was thinking. His eyes had betrayed him.
"Hello, Sage," he said with mild rasp.
'He can't be less than thirty years,' she mused. She nodded. "Mr. Denton." All of a sudden she felt the need to address him formally. She was not smiling.
'I wonder where he lives?'
"Aw, he don't need a title." Blink grinned and slapped the tall man's shoulder. "He's just Denton."
A familiar phrase came back to her.
'Our man Denton..'
She had never made the connection before. Because she hadn't befriended the boys until after the Great Strike of '99, she had not witnessed the compassionate journalist helping them in his own way to gain their victory. So this was the man.
A smile broke out on her face as she realized. They exchanged glances throughout the lunch, and as it was coming to a close he politely asked if she would circle the park with him before going back to work. He would have offered his help with her selling, but he guessed that no one would buy from him anyway, and even if they would, he knew that newsboys and newsgirls alike were almost always too prideful to accept help with their work. He didn't know Sagey though.
Small talk. He was very good at that. After all, he had had an insane amount of time to think about what he would say to her on this day.
But he knew that they could not talk about nothing forever. He took a deep, calming breath when they had arrived at a secluded spot in the park. After stopping in his tracks and placing a hand gently on her shoulder, he turned his body so he faced her and looked bravely into those eyes.
Both hearts beat faster: his because he was deathly afraid of her reaction, and hers because she was aware of his nervousness. She had nothing to worry about, though; her decision was made and a resolution formulation in her mind.
"I have admired you from the first moment I saw you," he began shakily. "From the very first moment, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever laid eyes on."
'Beautiful. Most beautiful girl. That's what I am to him.' Her eyes drifted downward and her head followed. Frowning, he lifted her chin with his hand and leaned in towards her.
"Did I say something wrong?" What offense could he have brought upon her? Every woman wanted to hear those words..he was just lucky enough to be able to mean them.
She looked up at him. She couldn't deny it; she enjoyed his touch. "No," she responded, shaking her head back and forth gently enough so that he wouldn't remove his hand from her face. "You haven't said anything wrong."
She hadn't anticipated how welcoming his embrace would feel. In the 50 minutes she had been in his company, she had gone over in her mind the benefits of having a strong older man. But she hadn't known that it would be as nice as this.
"Good." He swallowed. "Sage, I - " His hand traveled up her face, his fingertips brushing her cheek. She was shivering with every move they made. It was such an innocent touch. She was afraid to move for fear of him taking his hands off her.
"You know how I feel about you."
She closed her eyes, surrendering herself. She was being sucked in. But was that such a bad thing? Without opening her eyes, she answered, "Yes, I know."
"Does it bother you?" He started to frown. "Because if it does, I - "
"No - no, it doesn't bother me at all. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way." Her eyes were opened now, and she was smiling at him. She placed her hand over his and helped it to glide up and down her face. "I'm glad that you feel that way."
Could this be real? She was happy with him, with his advances. He could not believe his luck. He hadn't expected it to be this easy.
"Well, you can't imagine how happy you've made me." He figured it was an appropriate time. There was no sound in his head except for her breathing as he leaned his head to the side and gently grazed his lips against hers before kissing her deeply.
A sudden thrill came over her as one of his hands wrapped itself around her waist and pulled her closer, closer..ever so close to him, and she was caught. It was all she needed - this older man, who had a job, and a steady life, and would take care of her and love her and make sure she had what she needed.
Perhaps she was thinking that subconsciously, but in the moment when he was pressing his lips to hers the only thoughts that filled her head were those that can't possibly be described or written on paper..those that can only be felt and not scribed. She was gone.
"So what's she gonna do all day, huh? Sit around, lookin' out da window o' somethin'?"
It was a week later, after Sage had broken the news, frankly as always, to her brothers. They had been shocked by what she had to tell them, but in the end all were supportive and eager to see her off, even though she would only be living ten minutes' brisk walk away from her old home. All, that is, except one.
Jack was no stranger to change. Things happened all the time that were out of his hands. It nearly drove him mad when they did, but he eventually came to grips with shifts in his everyday life and accepted the coming events with maturity. But this he could just not handle.
Bryan was holding a brown tattered suitcase. "A going away present for da Lady," the old man at the desk had said fondly as he saw his former daughter off that day. She had no bags so he had graciously given her this. She had placed her small collection of clothing, including Jack's shirt and bandana ("Keep it," he said coldly) in it and carried it outside where Bryan was waiting.
Now, standing in front of the apartment where Sage would be spending the rest of her days happily as a married woman, Jack was having his last say. He realized he would probably never speak to Denton again after this meeting. He needed to make it good.
"You know she's only goin' wit you cuz you got money," he stated firmly. And he honestly believed this. "She tinks it's de only way ta live now dat she's pregnant. She don't tink she can survive livin' wit us. She tinks she's secure wit you." He stuck his hands in his back pockets and wore the slightly confused expression he had worn sometimes during the strike. Another change he hadn't been able to handle with ease.
He knew Jack was only 18. He knew how absurd it was to believe anything he said; this kid was an expert when it came to "improving the truth." And yet, somehow, this young, naïve person's words slashed Bryan Denton. He knew it wasn't the truth; Sage loved him - she did. Or she would someday. How could he feel so much warmth when in her arms without her feeling something similar to love for him?
"Jack..all I can say is that Sage will be protected with me. She will be secure. Which is more than she can say when she's with you."
Jack simply looked at him. "We always looked out fa her. You think you can just walk in heah, walk into her life and take ovah? You got anothah thing comin'.." Kelly wasn't being himself. Something inside was just bursting to come out, but, of course, he wouldn't let it. He wouldn't let himself say anything more. At least, not to Denton.
Bryan sighed. "Jack, don't be like this, please. Now I think we both know that Sage and her baby are safer with me."
Something snapped inside of Jack. He smirked. That was it. The baby.
"I don't know what you want me to do..I can't just leave her at the Lodge. She belongs with me, regardless of whether or not you can accept that," Denton said firmly, and entered his house.
Jack was left on the stoop, free of charge; free of everything he had been so gripped by for the past half year. His fear had no power over him anymore. He was cut loose. There was absolutely nothing holding him back from what he wanted to do - ever.
"Oh, well," he said to himself smartly. "I guess one baby doesn't mattah." He started to leave, but stopped and turned on his heel. "But don'tchu wanna know whose baby it is, Denton?" A wry smile worked its way into his face and he walked slowly away from the house.
He knew Denton would get curious sooner or later, if he hadn't already; it was only a matter of time before he came to one of the boys for the truth. And Jack knew it would be himself. How much was he willing to tell the man? Nothing short of what it would take to keep him coming back for more.
'What I'm gonna tell you will kill you, 'Bryan,'' he thought to himself. It was a good day after all.
Twilight at the Denton household. The atmosphere was perfect: the lights were dim, the candles were placed all around the room, and a man and his new wife were sitting on the loveseat. It seemed like love surrounded them - or perhaps it was just the way they wanted each other. Could it be considered love? To some, yes. To others, it might only be intense attraction. Who knows, though, in the end? It didn't really matter anyway - all that mattered was that Sagey was safe, and Denton had gotten what he wanted.
"You look so beautiful," he acknowledged, lightly touching her arm and handing her a wine glass.
Good God. The wine glass.
Sage couldn't control the flood of memories rushing back to her. She didn't want them - she didn't want to know what had happened to her that night. She hadn't seen a liquor glass since; she didn't want to see it now.
And yet, it was there.
"Come on, Sagey, it'll be fun." He had laughed and tried to hug her. "I can't wait to see you drunk."
"Oh, alright, you." She had laughed and downed the whiskey. They had always had fun together. He was the one she had felt the closest to. After all, she had always worn his old clothes. She had wanted to prove she could handle it, especially in front of him. "See, I can hold my liquor."
It had been fun, at first. But with every passing minute she had downed another, and then he had downed another, and another, and then everything beyond that was history except waking up with a splitting headache in a room that was not her own.
"Dear God!"
"What? Sage, what's - what's wrong?" Her husband held her close and tried to calm her. But even then he could tell that nothing he could say could possibly lessen the anxiety she felt; it was evident from the sheer horror on her face.
"I - I know whose baby it is."
And you know something? At that moment she would have done anything to not know again.
She was not the sort of woman a man like him would want. Instead of expensive garments, she wore simple pieces of whatever was left over from the older girls, or, in desperate cases, boys. But she was tall, so sometimes decent clothes were hard to come by. Many times on cooler days he would see her traipsing the streets in one of Jack Kelly's vests that he wasn't wearing that day, and her hair would be wrapped, as usual, in the boy's handkerchief. He couldn't understand why she kept it cooped up that way; if he had his way, it would be allowed to cascade like red waterfalls down her back; he would run his hands through those waves and make her feel what he felt for her.
Her height. It was good that she was tall - an inch or two shorter than him - and he knew she was perfect for him. She could almost look him straight in the eye, or so he imagined, if she stood directly in front of him. But so far he had never had the chance to find out what it would be like to lock gazes with her. He admired her from afar, waiting for the day when somehow, someway he would be able to woo her and offer her better than any of those boys could.
And after almost an entire year of imagining, anticipating, waiting, his golden opportunity was the thing that got him out of bed today.
It was no secret, her condition. She was probably seven months along, and it was visible. The guys were bright enough to know that the growth in her stomach wasn't just a few extra pounds gained from reckless eating. Sure, there had been whispers, but that didn't last long; she just came right out and said it one day during her sixth month.
"Boys," she had announced, "I'm having a baby!" Because that was just the way she was. Trust Sage to acknowledge the bright side of a potentially horrendous situation. Well, after that the boys only talked with her about the happiness that would come with the new addition to their family. Suppertime was spent discussing possible names, lunchtime was spent arguing over who would get to hold the little bundle of joy first; of course, the obvious answer to that question would have to be the father - he deserved to hold the baby first. But then that brought up another question. Who was he?
This she refused to tell them.
"I guess you'll find out when it's born," was the only answer she would give.
"But dat's cheap. What if it just looks like you?" pointed out Boots.
"When then I guess you'll nevah know," Sage said with a smile.
And neither would she.
She was but sixteen years old, and yet she had enough discipline not to allow herself to become overly intimate with anyone who might be interested in her. Yes, she was a mature sixteen - in mind and body. She knew her full figure was certainly desirable, and her dark auburn hair made her stand out when she walked with a crowd. Even though her height and natural body strength provided protection, she knew that if a predator was determined enough he would be able to overpower her. This was not her biggest fear, though, as she knew the guys looked out for her. They had done a perfect job so far; never had she been attacked or even had a hand laid on her the wrong way, and so one of the possibilities of how this baby had come to be was no longer.
The thing was, though, that was the only possible way she could have conceived. It was simple. She had not given herself to anyone. And if she had, she did not remember it..
At first, she was terrified. 'How did this happen?!' she wondered in bewildered horror, in the very clutches of fear. 'Well, maybe it's just a couple of missed periods.' She was trying to control herself, to justify the situation.
But after three more months with no blood, she decided it was time to face up. She was gaining minimal weight, too - not so much that her clothes didn't fit anymore because they had always been too big for her - and after a few minutes' thought and preparation she decided to tell the boys. They were like her brothers, after all; she couldn't just keep this from them.
So she was as frank with them and open about it as possible. She didn't want there to be any unanswered question - except for the ultimate unanswerable, of course.
Today, for some reason, she was feeling particularly vulnerable, and found it difficult to move through the crowds in the streets. She was feeling the extra weight, too, and couldn't maneuver her way around the obstacles as easily as before. But she couldn't just stay home. She had to sell. "Maybe it's time for a break," she said to herself and headed straight for Tibby's. It was no surprise that Bumlets, Mush, Blink, and that older man were already dining there.
"Hey, Sagey." Mush motioned to her.
"Aftahnoon, fellas," she greeted, as he rose to hug her. She wasn't sure how she should act towards the businessman, or whatever he was, that had been spending time with the boys ever since last year. They had been introduced once, but hadn't had interaction beyond that; somehow their time with the boys had never overlapped. 'I guess it's about time I talked to him,' she decided. 'What's his name? Oh, yeah..Denton.'
She stared at him. She couldn't help it - he was looking at her, casually it seemed, with a small yet welcoming smile. She knew she was perceptive; even after looking into his eyes for a mere two seconds she knew what he was thinking. His eyes had betrayed him.
"Hello, Sage," he said with mild rasp.
'He can't be less than thirty years,' she mused. She nodded. "Mr. Denton." All of a sudden she felt the need to address him formally. She was not smiling.
'I wonder where he lives?'
"Aw, he don't need a title." Blink grinned and slapped the tall man's shoulder. "He's just Denton."
A familiar phrase came back to her.
'Our man Denton..'
She had never made the connection before. Because she hadn't befriended the boys until after the Great Strike of '99, she had not witnessed the compassionate journalist helping them in his own way to gain their victory. So this was the man.
A smile broke out on her face as she realized. They exchanged glances throughout the lunch, and as it was coming to a close he politely asked if she would circle the park with him before going back to work. He would have offered his help with her selling, but he guessed that no one would buy from him anyway, and even if they would, he knew that newsboys and newsgirls alike were almost always too prideful to accept help with their work. He didn't know Sagey though.
Small talk. He was very good at that. After all, he had had an insane amount of time to think about what he would say to her on this day.
But he knew that they could not talk about nothing forever. He took a deep, calming breath when they had arrived at a secluded spot in the park. After stopping in his tracks and placing a hand gently on her shoulder, he turned his body so he faced her and looked bravely into those eyes.
Both hearts beat faster: his because he was deathly afraid of her reaction, and hers because she was aware of his nervousness. She had nothing to worry about, though; her decision was made and a resolution formulation in her mind.
"I have admired you from the first moment I saw you," he began shakily. "From the very first moment, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever laid eyes on."
'Beautiful. Most beautiful girl. That's what I am to him.' Her eyes drifted downward and her head followed. Frowning, he lifted her chin with his hand and leaned in towards her.
"Did I say something wrong?" What offense could he have brought upon her? Every woman wanted to hear those words..he was just lucky enough to be able to mean them.
She looked up at him. She couldn't deny it; she enjoyed his touch. "No," she responded, shaking her head back and forth gently enough so that he wouldn't remove his hand from her face. "You haven't said anything wrong."
She hadn't anticipated how welcoming his embrace would feel. In the 50 minutes she had been in his company, she had gone over in her mind the benefits of having a strong older man. But she hadn't known that it would be as nice as this.
"Good." He swallowed. "Sage, I - " His hand traveled up her face, his fingertips brushing her cheek. She was shivering with every move they made. It was such an innocent touch. She was afraid to move for fear of him taking his hands off her.
"You know how I feel about you."
She closed her eyes, surrendering herself. She was being sucked in. But was that such a bad thing? Without opening her eyes, she answered, "Yes, I know."
"Does it bother you?" He started to frown. "Because if it does, I - "
"No - no, it doesn't bother me at all. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way." Her eyes were opened now, and she was smiling at him. She placed her hand over his and helped it to glide up and down her face. "I'm glad that you feel that way."
Could this be real? She was happy with him, with his advances. He could not believe his luck. He hadn't expected it to be this easy.
"Well, you can't imagine how happy you've made me." He figured it was an appropriate time. There was no sound in his head except for her breathing as he leaned his head to the side and gently grazed his lips against hers before kissing her deeply.
A sudden thrill came over her as one of his hands wrapped itself around her waist and pulled her closer, closer..ever so close to him, and she was caught. It was all she needed - this older man, who had a job, and a steady life, and would take care of her and love her and make sure she had what she needed.
Perhaps she was thinking that subconsciously, but in the moment when he was pressing his lips to hers the only thoughts that filled her head were those that can't possibly be described or written on paper..those that can only be felt and not scribed. She was gone.
"So what's she gonna do all day, huh? Sit around, lookin' out da window o' somethin'?"
It was a week later, after Sage had broken the news, frankly as always, to her brothers. They had been shocked by what she had to tell them, but in the end all were supportive and eager to see her off, even though she would only be living ten minutes' brisk walk away from her old home. All, that is, except one.
Jack was no stranger to change. Things happened all the time that were out of his hands. It nearly drove him mad when they did, but he eventually came to grips with shifts in his everyday life and accepted the coming events with maturity. But this he could just not handle.
Bryan was holding a brown tattered suitcase. "A going away present for da Lady," the old man at the desk had said fondly as he saw his former daughter off that day. She had no bags so he had graciously given her this. She had placed her small collection of clothing, including Jack's shirt and bandana ("Keep it," he said coldly) in it and carried it outside where Bryan was waiting.
Now, standing in front of the apartment where Sage would be spending the rest of her days happily as a married woman, Jack was having his last say. He realized he would probably never speak to Denton again after this meeting. He needed to make it good.
"You know she's only goin' wit you cuz you got money," he stated firmly. And he honestly believed this. "She tinks it's de only way ta live now dat she's pregnant. She don't tink she can survive livin' wit us. She tinks she's secure wit you." He stuck his hands in his back pockets and wore the slightly confused expression he had worn sometimes during the strike. Another change he hadn't been able to handle with ease.
He knew Jack was only 18. He knew how absurd it was to believe anything he said; this kid was an expert when it came to "improving the truth." And yet, somehow, this young, naïve person's words slashed Bryan Denton. He knew it wasn't the truth; Sage loved him - she did. Or she would someday. How could he feel so much warmth when in her arms without her feeling something similar to love for him?
"Jack..all I can say is that Sage will be protected with me. She will be secure. Which is more than she can say when she's with you."
Jack simply looked at him. "We always looked out fa her. You think you can just walk in heah, walk into her life and take ovah? You got anothah thing comin'.." Kelly wasn't being himself. Something inside was just bursting to come out, but, of course, he wouldn't let it. He wouldn't let himself say anything more. At least, not to Denton.
Bryan sighed. "Jack, don't be like this, please. Now I think we both know that Sage and her baby are safer with me."
Something snapped inside of Jack. He smirked. That was it. The baby.
"I don't know what you want me to do..I can't just leave her at the Lodge. She belongs with me, regardless of whether or not you can accept that," Denton said firmly, and entered his house.
Jack was left on the stoop, free of charge; free of everything he had been so gripped by for the past half year. His fear had no power over him anymore. He was cut loose. There was absolutely nothing holding him back from what he wanted to do - ever.
"Oh, well," he said to himself smartly. "I guess one baby doesn't mattah." He started to leave, but stopped and turned on his heel. "But don'tchu wanna know whose baby it is, Denton?" A wry smile worked its way into his face and he walked slowly away from the house.
He knew Denton would get curious sooner or later, if he hadn't already; it was only a matter of time before he came to one of the boys for the truth. And Jack knew it would be himself. How much was he willing to tell the man? Nothing short of what it would take to keep him coming back for more.
'What I'm gonna tell you will kill you, 'Bryan,'' he thought to himself. It was a good day after all.
Twilight at the Denton household. The atmosphere was perfect: the lights were dim, the candles were placed all around the room, and a man and his new wife were sitting on the loveseat. It seemed like love surrounded them - or perhaps it was just the way they wanted each other. Could it be considered love? To some, yes. To others, it might only be intense attraction. Who knows, though, in the end? It didn't really matter anyway - all that mattered was that Sagey was safe, and Denton had gotten what he wanted.
"You look so beautiful," he acknowledged, lightly touching her arm and handing her a wine glass.
Good God. The wine glass.
Sage couldn't control the flood of memories rushing back to her. She didn't want them - she didn't want to know what had happened to her that night. She hadn't seen a liquor glass since; she didn't want to see it now.
And yet, it was there.
"Come on, Sagey, it'll be fun." He had laughed and tried to hug her. "I can't wait to see you drunk."
"Oh, alright, you." She had laughed and downed the whiskey. They had always had fun together. He was the one she had felt the closest to. After all, she had always worn his old clothes. She had wanted to prove she could handle it, especially in front of him. "See, I can hold my liquor."
It had been fun, at first. But with every passing minute she had downed another, and then he had downed another, and another, and then everything beyond that was history except waking up with a splitting headache in a room that was not her own.
"Dear God!"
"What? Sage, what's - what's wrong?" Her husband held her close and tried to calm her. But even then he could tell that nothing he could say could possibly lessen the anxiety she felt; it was evident from the sheer horror on her face.
"I - I know whose baby it is."
And you know something? At that moment she would have done anything to not know again.