Bring Me to Life
By Gingivere the Shadowreaver
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Chapter 16
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The Wei forces knew that the Wu would not even try to reason with them for their prisoner, knowing full well that sacrificing one of their rivers was too much for one life, so that would leave the negotiations to be left in the dust, like their tracks. Cao Cao knew better then to move the troops all at once, in fear of over working his already tired forces, so he ordered for Zhang Liao to stay behind until all of the Wei forces were cleared.
He let his cousin leave first, scouting the area to make sure their path was safe from any enemy attacks, before he and the prisoner would follow. He knew going anywhere near the mountains was a threat, but staying here was worse.
When Zhang He arrived with the prisoner, he gave him direct orders to wait at least tree hours before leaving with his forces. Zhang He was to be the last before Zhang Liao, so that if there was an attack, he'd have his best generals at the rear.
Now, Cao Cao rode upon his black steed, with his most trusted (well, minus Dian Wei and Xu Zhu, who he seriously missed right now) at his side and the sleeping Lu Xun nudged between himself and the horse's neck. If it were not for the fact that this was his prisoner and that his life was valuable to him in the future, he would have put him upon Liu Bei's wild horse.
As they rode among the midnight skies, the Hero of Chaos held Lu Xun closely, making sure he did not slip. He wondered, though, if it was safe to have Sima Yi stay behind to gather the supplies... Ever day they held Lu Xun hostage, he grew more and more worried about his own strategist. 'He should keep his personal affairs far from business... let him hurt himself, as long as it does not affect the outcome of battle...'
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"Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, I'm starved!"
Zhou Yu wasn't really too surprised to hear his sworn brother day this at all, but he was more surprised to see him slow his horse down, to ride along side the carriages. It wasn't really the fact of his intuitions, but more fear for Sun Ce's atrocious appetite that worried him. "Sun Ce, we should keep those supplies for the mountain raids..."
Sun Ce gave him a childish look, poking out his tongue and getting his horse into a trot as Zhou Yu slowed his own pace. "A king's gotta eat some time, you know..."
"But if you eat ALL of the supplies, then what? The mountains will be just as harsh on us as they will be for Lord Cao Cao, my lord..."
"Zhou Yu, I order you to let me nibble on some meat buns!"
"Lord Sun-"
Pang Tong was actually sleeping on the horse when he grumbled, "Keep it down, children... Lord Sun Ce, it's not good to sneak your hand in the cookie jar. You're suppose to be setting a good EXAMPLE for the young ones..."
Looking at his fellow strategist, Zhou Yu nodded, "Thank you; you should listen to your- Sun Ce!"
It was too late, as the Little Conqueror was already halfway in the carriage, his feet barely gripping the poor horse's saddle. Zhou Yu only sighed, feeling defeated but saying nothing, knowing it wouldn't help anyway. Sun Ce's head was just too thick!
"Food, food, food... let's see here, what do we have?" Sun Ce was beyond blissed, ignoring the looks from the officers and his generals.
"That food is for the mission... do you realize how valuable they will be for us when we get there, Sun Ce? Sun Ce, are you even LISTENING to me?" Zhou Yu resembled that of a nagging parent, and his patience began to run a bit thin.
"Nahhhhhhhhhhh, not a word!"
Laughing full-heartingly, Pang Tong shook his head, trying to ease Zhou Yu's tensions. "Let him get a stomach ache before we start the raids; he'll learn his lesson..."
Pang Tong was not really worried, until he remembered something too late, hearing Sun Ce's shout, "What the... Da Qiao!?"
"Oh... yeah... oops..." The hooded Shu officer scratched his nose with his free finger, looking back as Sun Ce fell off the horse, too surprised. "Well, what do you know... never would have thought SHE got in there!"
Forgetting their past argument, Zhou Yu went to aid his friend, leaping off his own to help Sun Ce to his feet. That was when Da Qiao poked her head out from the carriage, holding a meat bun in her hand as she spoke shyly. "I was just preparing a meal for you, Lord Sun Ce..."
The chaos was somehow quelled when Sun Ce regained his senses, staring down at the maiden in front of him. She was so cute when she was a bit bashful; he was anything but angry that she had tagged along, but he took the time to look over her torn clothes, astonished that the past battles had no affect on her astounding beauty. She was so cute, with her hands behind her back, one toe pivoted, cheeks red as roses.
He had sent Pang Tong and Zhou Yu ahead, as he stayed behind to give the girl a lecture, something that he truly was NOT good at. But, he'd do anything to keep her with him for a little while.
"Da Qiao, do you realize how dangerous this mission is going to be?" Sun Ce began, trying to keep his voice strict, but if it was a soldier and not a beautiful woman in front of him, then maybe he could have done it better. "You've done enough to help, and I don't want you getting hurt, that's all..."
The older of the Qiaos' eyes shifted slightly, and she only looked cuter, much to her dismay but to Sun Ce's delight. "I only wish to help, Lord Sun Ce... Lu Xun's a close... friend to me and I feel as if I should do all that I can to help the situation."
Well, Sun Ce could not be angry with her at all, and he sighed, "Well, now that you're here, I guess it's too late to send you back, so I guess you're stickin' with us."
"Thank you, my lord..." Da Qiao's smile was pure golden to him, and rather it was denial or not, he yearned to make her his own. She gave him a bow, that smile never fading as Sun Ce mounted his steed. "You don't realize how much this helps me just to be of some assistance."
Seeing his withdrawn hand, she looked up at Sun Ce's smiling face, as he wished for her to join him on the horse. She did not object, but she was concerned when he placed an arm around her small waist, but more concerned with his words. "Don't worry... we'll save your friend!"
As the horse started off to catch up with the army, Da Qiao made a vow to herself, wondering how she could show her true feelings to Lu Xun without hurting Sun Ce in the process. 'I hope Sun Ce understands...'
~*~*~*~
Zhang He wasn't sure about the entire idea of leaving in groups, but he made no complaints. It simply wasn't worth it... the only thing he had against it was the long wait for doing nothing until it was time for him and his troops to leave. And the fact that Lu Xun was taken away with Cao Cao, but perhaps it was for the better...
But what to do? Sima Yi was left with the supplies duties, to he figured that it was best if he was left alone to complete his duties.
He could sleep, but alas, sleep would not come easy...
Then, not being tired at all, he went back out into the night air, not caring about the icy wind that nipped at his now clothed flesh. Staring at the moon, he only sighed, doing the one thing that could make him relaxed enough to go to sleep, the one thing he could always count on to clear his mind and tire his body; he began to dance.
He often would dance for his soldiers, as they seemed to enjoy it well, and he would also dance for another man, who was watching him now, though he did not know it. He admitted, though, that he always seemed more graceful when he wore those glimmering claws he adored so often. But, alas, why put them on when he was not to battle soon?
"No... do not worry now. Just dance... now, for no one else but yourself, just... dance..." The Wei general murmured to himself, slowly striking the poses he had practiced a thousand times.
They were missing something, something that made them so beautiful before. He needed no music, for he could have sung a melody in his smooth, almost tenor voice, but that would have woken the camp. What was it that he was missing?
He was gaining nothing from this dance, and he stopped, refusing to desecrate it anymore. Sighing, he realized what it was that he needed, "I have no partner..."
Though he should have been monitoring the supplies, Sima Yi had other things to do, as he still spied upon his general. Sima Yi must have heard him, or he was thinking the exact same thing, as he revealed himself. "Quite alone, aren't you?"
Caught unawares, Zhang He spun around to face him in a panic, raising his arms into defensive position, although he had no weapons. The moonlight shone brightly against his long, wet hair, and when he saw who it was that was there, he only smiled, "You're suppose to be packing the supplies. And how long have you been spying on me, Yi-chan?"
"Long enough to see that you truly have no place in your heart for me any longer..." Sima Yi's remark was harsh and bitter, but the look in his eyes justified his words.
Zhang He gave a puzzled look, "Whatever are you talking about, Yi-chan?"
Half his face lay hidden, but it was enough to signal his pain to him. He saw a hint of tears; why would Sima Yi cry? He had never seen tears rise from those eyes before...
He stepped forward, reaching out to brush those tears away, "Why do you cry? What has caused you such pain? Tell me, my dearest Yi-chan..."
Instead of an answer with words, he received his answers with a harsh slap, and the pained man walked right past him, calling to him as he sent him a warning glare. "How many times must I remind you who your superiors are? Never call me that, and I mean it this time, or there won't BE a next time."
Now Zhang He was very confused and he reached out, grabbing the man's arm, and he hissed, "Don't you walk away from me. What is WRONG with you?! Why do you seem so pained, so full of wrath? Why do you strike me?"
"I strike because I am hurting you, in the same way that you have hurt me, over and over again!"
In that moment the general understood, "You saw me with Lu Xun tonight, at the river, didn't you?"
Now the tears were streaming, something that Sima Yi could not hide as hard as he tried. He broke his hand free, once again trying to leave, but the officer would not let him, grabbing it yet again. He struck again, aiming to break his nose, "Don't touch me!"
Zhang He blocked the blow, and his blue eyes burned with an angry fire, "No... you and I must touch, for you will not listen to me otherwise. Do you doubt my love for you even now?!"
"I can have you executed..." Sima Yi threatened, knowing how pathetic he sounded right now. He knew, even Zhang He knew, that he could not do such a thing, even if he tried. "I will do it... I swear..."
Releasing him, Zhang He turned away, pain now flooding his voice more than anger, "Perhaps you should... perhaps it would be best for us both. Damn it, Sima Yi, I love you. I cannot tell you that enough, and you claim to love me. Yet, you cannot trust me. How can you love me... if you cannot trust me?"
At a loss for words, Sima Yi didn't even trust himself, much less this man. They did not see Zhang Liao stand from the watchtower, half groggily sneering and looking down at them as some soldiers took interest. "Lover's spat... dammit, can I at least sleep in peace..."
There was silence for a few moments, and Zhang He spoke softly, "Why do you not go? Or is there something you require... my lord?"
Sima Yi sneered, turning his head away from him. "No... I have supplies to tend to."
Zhang He sighed, preparing to leave, just as he said he would. He turned back to Sima Yi, keeping his voice carefully impassive, "Until the morning, my lord. I shall return sometime before then."
Sima Yi just gave him a tear-filled glare, turning away to him and the moonlight. He headed towards the river alone, speaking lowly and dismissing him. "Sleep well... for the march will be long and harsh."
He heard his officer speak bitterly, "Oh no, my lord. I fear the march not at all. Nothing can be harsher or longer than the trials you are putting my heart through now..."
"You are dismissed."
"I only wish my emotions were made to leave so easily... that I could dismiss them as you dismiss me..."
Then Zhang He left, hearing the soft splashing of a man entering the river. He looked back at Sima Yi again, seeing him stand knee deep in the slow river, staring towards the full moon. How his heart ached... surely he did not mean to cause so much pain to this man...
Almost against his will he walked back, wading into the water himself, and he heard Sima Yi hiss, "You were dismissed, Zhang He."
"Then consider this disobeying direct orders." Zhang He grabbed Sima Yi's chin, forcing him into a kiss that he could not hold back on.
Sima Yi tried to remain firm, tried to remember all the pain he was feeling now. But under his love's gentle touch, he felt himself yielding, and he gave in quite easily to the kiss.
They were lucky that Zhang Liao had left earlier, otherwise the man would have slain them both in that very spot. The tears still flowed, but these tears were slightly different now then the ones he had shed before. 'Curse my weak, gullible heart...'
Zhang He pulled back, brushing the tears away, "Don't cry, my love. I do not mean to hurt you..."
"Just... just shut up while you're still ahead..." Sima Yi growled, half relieved, half troubled. Would he do this, again? Would he break his heart for a third time?
Zhang He did as he was told, wrapping his arms around his love and pulling him into an embrace. Sima Yi sighed, resting his head on the other man's chest, "Why do I always fall for this? Why can I never maintain my strength against you? All you have to do is touch me, tell me you love me, and I melt like a lit candle..."
"I don't know... maybe love is a strange thing indeed..." The general suggested, letting his soft chin rest on the fabric that hid his soft black hair. "I'm still under your command... so if you wish for me to stop, I will do it."
"Do you think I want for you to stop?"
Zhang He smiled, rubbing his cheek against the other man's face, "It would certainly seem that you do not... but I can never be too sure."
When his love did not respond, he only spoke to him, his voice gentle, "Do you feel better now?"
"A little... but I shall never feel better until that demon is gone from our hands..."
"Oh now, he's no demon..." Zhang He laughed ever so softly, nibbling on the dangling strand from the elegant clothing he wore on his head. "Nowhere in his name is Demon."
Sima Yi sighed, allowing his love to continue, though he turned his face to avoid the next kiss, "No... it won't work this time..."
"What won't work?" The general cocked his head, kissing the soft cheek that lay before him.
"You cannot stop me from believing he is a demon... you cannot seduce me into forgetting that..."
Laughing again, Zhang He looked back at the moon, no longer able to feel his legs anymore. The moon was not as pretty as the man he embraced, nor would it ever be. "I don't think even Lord Cao Cao can make you think otherwise, but I know you're wrong. No child like him can be a true Demon..."
But Sima Yi sighed, "How blind you have become... can you not see he has come between us?"
Zhang He blinked, turning back, "Come between us? Lu Xun?!"
"Of course! Don't act so innocent! You KNOW it is true."
"My love, I honestly do NOT know what you are talking about! Is this why you have been so upset? Are you... JEALOUS of little Xun-chan?!"
The tears would not stop, and he growled, turning away from him again. "You call him that... how can you use that name for the both of us?"
How could he possibly explain? Zhang He tried, "He's so troubled, Yi-chan... when I saw him in battle, I felt nothing but this deep sense of pity for him, to see a child being forced to kill so early. I knew he was in pain, long before he knew. And I wanted to help him."
"Help the enemy? Why the change of heart?" Sima Yi looked to him, wiping away the tears with his sleeves. "This is coming from a man who would raid an entire village with Zhang Liao and leave none alive..."
He was suddenly grabbed from behind, and Zhang He's voice was frosty, "Would you prefer me that way? Cold, vicious, heartless? I can give you that Yi-chan if you desire it; I can be cruel... allow me to show you..."
The kiss was harsh, passionate and demanding, lacking any hint of the tenderness and gentleness of his normal kisses. The hands clutching his shoulders dug deep, and when the kiss was broken, he cried out, "No... He-chan... stop..."
"But I thought you liked this!" The man snapped wildly, his grip getting tighter as the terrified strategist struggled more. "Wasn't this what you asked for?"
"Stop it! I'll wake the entire camp, and if Zhang Liao does not kill you then Lord Cao Cao will!"
Grinning nastily, he seemed to welcome it. "Then let us die together... maybe that will prove my love to you."
Zhang He ripped off his love's hat, allowing his hair to fall down and waft in the breeze, and his voice dropped, the malice never leaving, "You want me to strip you like I striped those villages? You want me to tear into your flesh with my claws the way I did all those enemy soldiers? No... you ASKED for this Yi-chan... and I love you too much to deny you..."
Sima Yi snarled, biting the invading tongue, and both fear and pain shone in his tear-filled eyes, "Stop this NOW Zhang He or you WILL be punished..."
"Then the punishment will be well worth it, to see the same fear in your eyes as those of the ones I've slain..." He was lying, for he felt his heart shatter from those terrified violet eyes. But he could not back down now, for his pain only made him fiercer. "Zhang Liao is not the only man to be feared..."
Now Sima Yi really panicked, struggling against this man more than he had against any other foe. He did the first thing that came to his mind, driving his knee into the tender spot of his assailant. That broke the kiss, but only for a little while as he was attacked again, but he screamed, shoving his hand protectively into Zhang He's beautiful face. "LORD ZHANG LIAO!"
He cried out as his fingers were nipped harshly, drawing blood, and Zhang He brought him all the closer, ignoring the splashing of the cold water as he lifted his superior in his arms and brought him towards the opposite shore, "NO! No one will interfere in this! Not my Lord Cao Cao, not Zhang Liao... not ANYONE!"
The Wei general set the other man on the ground, and he stood over him, his hair and clothes dripping wet, but he cared not, his blue eyes blazing with a brutality Sima Yi had never seen directed at him before. Yet, what hurt him more was the raw pain he saw being thinly veiled by that other emotion. He could almost swear he saw the beginnings of tears in those eyes...
"Whatever you are planning, please stop! Don't do something you'll regret!" Sima Yi pleaded, bringing his bleeding hands up to shield his face. He backed away, to no avail as the strong hands stopped him from going anywhere. "Please!"
"No, too late for that, for now I have lived a life of regret!" Snarling, Zhang He was not going to let him leave, not until he saw his tears.
"Please..."
Zhang He nipped his ears and throat, his growl animalistic, "What ever is the matter? Doesn't this please you, my lord?"
"No..." Sima Yi could feel tears prick his eyes, but refused to let them flow, "He-chan... please... please stop..."
"Then tell me, how IS it that you want to be pleased? I have been kind, gentle, and I have been cruel... tell me what do you WANT?!" Zhang He bellowed in his ears, tears now falling from his sparkling blue eyes and onto the soft frightened face of the man under him. "Quit these minds games, my lord! And do not blame Xun-chan for ANY of this... you have brought it upon yourself."
Again, he mentioned that demon... that evil, smiling demon that would have died with that evil laughter if he were watching this. He WAS a demon sent from Hell to separate them. That bloody, rotten, FILTHY little demon!!!
Sima Yi hissed, closing his violet eyes to contain the tears gathering there, "I want YOU! I want the He-chan I fell in love with! The one who would never keep secrets from me; the one who would never hurt me. Do you even CARE how I feel?! You set me aflame with jealousy every time your roving eye catches sight of another man; you set me on fire with lust every time you touch me. You have my heart and my soul... and yet you never seem to take care to keep them both from being hurt!"
"I have kept nothing from you... you are the one hiding your true self from me. Your jealousy clouds your mind; you bring this pain upon yourself..."
"That demon brings it! I never questioned your love until HE came!"
Sima Yi cried out when the clenched fist struck his jaw like a rock, and he withered under that terrible, possessed voice. "I BROUGHT HIM BECAUSE... BECAUSE WHEN I SAW HIM IN BATTLE, HE HAD POTENTIAL... he has NO place in my heart, not in the sense YOU think of it as! He's a CHILD, A DAMN CHILD; I will never feel the same for him as I feel for you!"
Zhang He's tears were not lessening; if anything they were increasing, and he lowered his voice, stroking his love's hair gently, "You speak of giving your heart and soul to me; if you have not yet seen that you possess mine than you are even blinder than I think. Do you think that it does not hurt me, to see the pain and fear in your eyes? Your jealous glances strike my soul like hissing acid and poison; the first to burn a hole and the second to slowly give me a torturous death..."
"He-chan..."
He was silenced by the gentlest kiss he had ever received; the raging beast in his love had seemed to die away. After, Zhang He lifted his head, and he almost sobbed, "I love you Yi-chan, and you have to trust in my love. If... if you cannot do that, then there will be no way for us to continue our relationship. I... I cannot live with your jealousy; you will kill me with it..."
Sima Yi did not know how to combat those words, and he did nothing when Zhang He rose and left, wading back through the water to return to his tent. Instead, the jealous, hurt strategist lay there still, sobbing uncontrollably.
What a horrible night! How could the moon still shine so lovely? He cried and cried, unable to stop the man as he now heard him step out of the water, continuing on his way. "Damn you, demon... how can I kill you, without harming him? Your spell is strong, almost too strong... damn you to every level of the Abyss!"
By Gingivere the Shadowreaver
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Chapter 16
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The Wei forces knew that the Wu would not even try to reason with them for their prisoner, knowing full well that sacrificing one of their rivers was too much for one life, so that would leave the negotiations to be left in the dust, like their tracks. Cao Cao knew better then to move the troops all at once, in fear of over working his already tired forces, so he ordered for Zhang Liao to stay behind until all of the Wei forces were cleared.
He let his cousin leave first, scouting the area to make sure their path was safe from any enemy attacks, before he and the prisoner would follow. He knew going anywhere near the mountains was a threat, but staying here was worse.
When Zhang He arrived with the prisoner, he gave him direct orders to wait at least tree hours before leaving with his forces. Zhang He was to be the last before Zhang Liao, so that if there was an attack, he'd have his best generals at the rear.
Now, Cao Cao rode upon his black steed, with his most trusted (well, minus Dian Wei and Xu Zhu, who he seriously missed right now) at his side and the sleeping Lu Xun nudged between himself and the horse's neck. If it were not for the fact that this was his prisoner and that his life was valuable to him in the future, he would have put him upon Liu Bei's wild horse.
As they rode among the midnight skies, the Hero of Chaos held Lu Xun closely, making sure he did not slip. He wondered, though, if it was safe to have Sima Yi stay behind to gather the supplies... Ever day they held Lu Xun hostage, he grew more and more worried about his own strategist. 'He should keep his personal affairs far from business... let him hurt himself, as long as it does not affect the outcome of battle...'
~*~*~*~
"Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, I'm starved!"
Zhou Yu wasn't really too surprised to hear his sworn brother day this at all, but he was more surprised to see him slow his horse down, to ride along side the carriages. It wasn't really the fact of his intuitions, but more fear for Sun Ce's atrocious appetite that worried him. "Sun Ce, we should keep those supplies for the mountain raids..."
Sun Ce gave him a childish look, poking out his tongue and getting his horse into a trot as Zhou Yu slowed his own pace. "A king's gotta eat some time, you know..."
"But if you eat ALL of the supplies, then what? The mountains will be just as harsh on us as they will be for Lord Cao Cao, my lord..."
"Zhou Yu, I order you to let me nibble on some meat buns!"
"Lord Sun-"
Pang Tong was actually sleeping on the horse when he grumbled, "Keep it down, children... Lord Sun Ce, it's not good to sneak your hand in the cookie jar. You're suppose to be setting a good EXAMPLE for the young ones..."
Looking at his fellow strategist, Zhou Yu nodded, "Thank you; you should listen to your- Sun Ce!"
It was too late, as the Little Conqueror was already halfway in the carriage, his feet barely gripping the poor horse's saddle. Zhou Yu only sighed, feeling defeated but saying nothing, knowing it wouldn't help anyway. Sun Ce's head was just too thick!
"Food, food, food... let's see here, what do we have?" Sun Ce was beyond blissed, ignoring the looks from the officers and his generals.
"That food is for the mission... do you realize how valuable they will be for us when we get there, Sun Ce? Sun Ce, are you even LISTENING to me?" Zhou Yu resembled that of a nagging parent, and his patience began to run a bit thin.
"Nahhhhhhhhhhh, not a word!"
Laughing full-heartingly, Pang Tong shook his head, trying to ease Zhou Yu's tensions. "Let him get a stomach ache before we start the raids; he'll learn his lesson..."
Pang Tong was not really worried, until he remembered something too late, hearing Sun Ce's shout, "What the... Da Qiao!?"
"Oh... yeah... oops..." The hooded Shu officer scratched his nose with his free finger, looking back as Sun Ce fell off the horse, too surprised. "Well, what do you know... never would have thought SHE got in there!"
Forgetting their past argument, Zhou Yu went to aid his friend, leaping off his own to help Sun Ce to his feet. That was when Da Qiao poked her head out from the carriage, holding a meat bun in her hand as she spoke shyly. "I was just preparing a meal for you, Lord Sun Ce..."
The chaos was somehow quelled when Sun Ce regained his senses, staring down at the maiden in front of him. She was so cute when she was a bit bashful; he was anything but angry that she had tagged along, but he took the time to look over her torn clothes, astonished that the past battles had no affect on her astounding beauty. She was so cute, with her hands behind her back, one toe pivoted, cheeks red as roses.
He had sent Pang Tong and Zhou Yu ahead, as he stayed behind to give the girl a lecture, something that he truly was NOT good at. But, he'd do anything to keep her with him for a little while.
"Da Qiao, do you realize how dangerous this mission is going to be?" Sun Ce began, trying to keep his voice strict, but if it was a soldier and not a beautiful woman in front of him, then maybe he could have done it better. "You've done enough to help, and I don't want you getting hurt, that's all..."
The older of the Qiaos' eyes shifted slightly, and she only looked cuter, much to her dismay but to Sun Ce's delight. "I only wish to help, Lord Sun Ce... Lu Xun's a close... friend to me and I feel as if I should do all that I can to help the situation."
Well, Sun Ce could not be angry with her at all, and he sighed, "Well, now that you're here, I guess it's too late to send you back, so I guess you're stickin' with us."
"Thank you, my lord..." Da Qiao's smile was pure golden to him, and rather it was denial or not, he yearned to make her his own. She gave him a bow, that smile never fading as Sun Ce mounted his steed. "You don't realize how much this helps me just to be of some assistance."
Seeing his withdrawn hand, she looked up at Sun Ce's smiling face, as he wished for her to join him on the horse. She did not object, but she was concerned when he placed an arm around her small waist, but more concerned with his words. "Don't worry... we'll save your friend!"
As the horse started off to catch up with the army, Da Qiao made a vow to herself, wondering how she could show her true feelings to Lu Xun without hurting Sun Ce in the process. 'I hope Sun Ce understands...'
~*~*~*~
Zhang He wasn't sure about the entire idea of leaving in groups, but he made no complaints. It simply wasn't worth it... the only thing he had against it was the long wait for doing nothing until it was time for him and his troops to leave. And the fact that Lu Xun was taken away with Cao Cao, but perhaps it was for the better...
But what to do? Sima Yi was left with the supplies duties, to he figured that it was best if he was left alone to complete his duties.
He could sleep, but alas, sleep would not come easy...
Then, not being tired at all, he went back out into the night air, not caring about the icy wind that nipped at his now clothed flesh. Staring at the moon, he only sighed, doing the one thing that could make him relaxed enough to go to sleep, the one thing he could always count on to clear his mind and tire his body; he began to dance.
He often would dance for his soldiers, as they seemed to enjoy it well, and he would also dance for another man, who was watching him now, though he did not know it. He admitted, though, that he always seemed more graceful when he wore those glimmering claws he adored so often. But, alas, why put them on when he was not to battle soon?
"No... do not worry now. Just dance... now, for no one else but yourself, just... dance..." The Wei general murmured to himself, slowly striking the poses he had practiced a thousand times.
They were missing something, something that made them so beautiful before. He needed no music, for he could have sung a melody in his smooth, almost tenor voice, but that would have woken the camp. What was it that he was missing?
He was gaining nothing from this dance, and he stopped, refusing to desecrate it anymore. Sighing, he realized what it was that he needed, "I have no partner..."
Though he should have been monitoring the supplies, Sima Yi had other things to do, as he still spied upon his general. Sima Yi must have heard him, or he was thinking the exact same thing, as he revealed himself. "Quite alone, aren't you?"
Caught unawares, Zhang He spun around to face him in a panic, raising his arms into defensive position, although he had no weapons. The moonlight shone brightly against his long, wet hair, and when he saw who it was that was there, he only smiled, "You're suppose to be packing the supplies. And how long have you been spying on me, Yi-chan?"
"Long enough to see that you truly have no place in your heart for me any longer..." Sima Yi's remark was harsh and bitter, but the look in his eyes justified his words.
Zhang He gave a puzzled look, "Whatever are you talking about, Yi-chan?"
Half his face lay hidden, but it was enough to signal his pain to him. He saw a hint of tears; why would Sima Yi cry? He had never seen tears rise from those eyes before...
He stepped forward, reaching out to brush those tears away, "Why do you cry? What has caused you such pain? Tell me, my dearest Yi-chan..."
Instead of an answer with words, he received his answers with a harsh slap, and the pained man walked right past him, calling to him as he sent him a warning glare. "How many times must I remind you who your superiors are? Never call me that, and I mean it this time, or there won't BE a next time."
Now Zhang He was very confused and he reached out, grabbing the man's arm, and he hissed, "Don't you walk away from me. What is WRONG with you?! Why do you seem so pained, so full of wrath? Why do you strike me?"
"I strike because I am hurting you, in the same way that you have hurt me, over and over again!"
In that moment the general understood, "You saw me with Lu Xun tonight, at the river, didn't you?"
Now the tears were streaming, something that Sima Yi could not hide as hard as he tried. He broke his hand free, once again trying to leave, but the officer would not let him, grabbing it yet again. He struck again, aiming to break his nose, "Don't touch me!"
Zhang He blocked the blow, and his blue eyes burned with an angry fire, "No... you and I must touch, for you will not listen to me otherwise. Do you doubt my love for you even now?!"
"I can have you executed..." Sima Yi threatened, knowing how pathetic he sounded right now. He knew, even Zhang He knew, that he could not do such a thing, even if he tried. "I will do it... I swear..."
Releasing him, Zhang He turned away, pain now flooding his voice more than anger, "Perhaps you should... perhaps it would be best for us both. Damn it, Sima Yi, I love you. I cannot tell you that enough, and you claim to love me. Yet, you cannot trust me. How can you love me... if you cannot trust me?"
At a loss for words, Sima Yi didn't even trust himself, much less this man. They did not see Zhang Liao stand from the watchtower, half groggily sneering and looking down at them as some soldiers took interest. "Lover's spat... dammit, can I at least sleep in peace..."
There was silence for a few moments, and Zhang He spoke softly, "Why do you not go? Or is there something you require... my lord?"
Sima Yi sneered, turning his head away from him. "No... I have supplies to tend to."
Zhang He sighed, preparing to leave, just as he said he would. He turned back to Sima Yi, keeping his voice carefully impassive, "Until the morning, my lord. I shall return sometime before then."
Sima Yi just gave him a tear-filled glare, turning away to him and the moonlight. He headed towards the river alone, speaking lowly and dismissing him. "Sleep well... for the march will be long and harsh."
He heard his officer speak bitterly, "Oh no, my lord. I fear the march not at all. Nothing can be harsher or longer than the trials you are putting my heart through now..."
"You are dismissed."
"I only wish my emotions were made to leave so easily... that I could dismiss them as you dismiss me..."
Then Zhang He left, hearing the soft splashing of a man entering the river. He looked back at Sima Yi again, seeing him stand knee deep in the slow river, staring towards the full moon. How his heart ached... surely he did not mean to cause so much pain to this man...
Almost against his will he walked back, wading into the water himself, and he heard Sima Yi hiss, "You were dismissed, Zhang He."
"Then consider this disobeying direct orders." Zhang He grabbed Sima Yi's chin, forcing him into a kiss that he could not hold back on.
Sima Yi tried to remain firm, tried to remember all the pain he was feeling now. But under his love's gentle touch, he felt himself yielding, and he gave in quite easily to the kiss.
They were lucky that Zhang Liao had left earlier, otherwise the man would have slain them both in that very spot. The tears still flowed, but these tears were slightly different now then the ones he had shed before. 'Curse my weak, gullible heart...'
Zhang He pulled back, brushing the tears away, "Don't cry, my love. I do not mean to hurt you..."
"Just... just shut up while you're still ahead..." Sima Yi growled, half relieved, half troubled. Would he do this, again? Would he break his heart for a third time?
Zhang He did as he was told, wrapping his arms around his love and pulling him into an embrace. Sima Yi sighed, resting his head on the other man's chest, "Why do I always fall for this? Why can I never maintain my strength against you? All you have to do is touch me, tell me you love me, and I melt like a lit candle..."
"I don't know... maybe love is a strange thing indeed..." The general suggested, letting his soft chin rest on the fabric that hid his soft black hair. "I'm still under your command... so if you wish for me to stop, I will do it."
"Do you think I want for you to stop?"
Zhang He smiled, rubbing his cheek against the other man's face, "It would certainly seem that you do not... but I can never be too sure."
When his love did not respond, he only spoke to him, his voice gentle, "Do you feel better now?"
"A little... but I shall never feel better until that demon is gone from our hands..."
"Oh now, he's no demon..." Zhang He laughed ever so softly, nibbling on the dangling strand from the elegant clothing he wore on his head. "Nowhere in his name is Demon."
Sima Yi sighed, allowing his love to continue, though he turned his face to avoid the next kiss, "No... it won't work this time..."
"What won't work?" The general cocked his head, kissing the soft cheek that lay before him.
"You cannot stop me from believing he is a demon... you cannot seduce me into forgetting that..."
Laughing again, Zhang He looked back at the moon, no longer able to feel his legs anymore. The moon was not as pretty as the man he embraced, nor would it ever be. "I don't think even Lord Cao Cao can make you think otherwise, but I know you're wrong. No child like him can be a true Demon..."
But Sima Yi sighed, "How blind you have become... can you not see he has come between us?"
Zhang He blinked, turning back, "Come between us? Lu Xun?!"
"Of course! Don't act so innocent! You KNOW it is true."
"My love, I honestly do NOT know what you are talking about! Is this why you have been so upset? Are you... JEALOUS of little Xun-chan?!"
The tears would not stop, and he growled, turning away from him again. "You call him that... how can you use that name for the both of us?"
How could he possibly explain? Zhang He tried, "He's so troubled, Yi-chan... when I saw him in battle, I felt nothing but this deep sense of pity for him, to see a child being forced to kill so early. I knew he was in pain, long before he knew. And I wanted to help him."
"Help the enemy? Why the change of heart?" Sima Yi looked to him, wiping away the tears with his sleeves. "This is coming from a man who would raid an entire village with Zhang Liao and leave none alive..."
He was suddenly grabbed from behind, and Zhang He's voice was frosty, "Would you prefer me that way? Cold, vicious, heartless? I can give you that Yi-chan if you desire it; I can be cruel... allow me to show you..."
The kiss was harsh, passionate and demanding, lacking any hint of the tenderness and gentleness of his normal kisses. The hands clutching his shoulders dug deep, and when the kiss was broken, he cried out, "No... He-chan... stop..."
"But I thought you liked this!" The man snapped wildly, his grip getting tighter as the terrified strategist struggled more. "Wasn't this what you asked for?"
"Stop it! I'll wake the entire camp, and if Zhang Liao does not kill you then Lord Cao Cao will!"
Grinning nastily, he seemed to welcome it. "Then let us die together... maybe that will prove my love to you."
Zhang He ripped off his love's hat, allowing his hair to fall down and waft in the breeze, and his voice dropped, the malice never leaving, "You want me to strip you like I striped those villages? You want me to tear into your flesh with my claws the way I did all those enemy soldiers? No... you ASKED for this Yi-chan... and I love you too much to deny you..."
Sima Yi snarled, biting the invading tongue, and both fear and pain shone in his tear-filled eyes, "Stop this NOW Zhang He or you WILL be punished..."
"Then the punishment will be well worth it, to see the same fear in your eyes as those of the ones I've slain..." He was lying, for he felt his heart shatter from those terrified violet eyes. But he could not back down now, for his pain only made him fiercer. "Zhang Liao is not the only man to be feared..."
Now Sima Yi really panicked, struggling against this man more than he had against any other foe. He did the first thing that came to his mind, driving his knee into the tender spot of his assailant. That broke the kiss, but only for a little while as he was attacked again, but he screamed, shoving his hand protectively into Zhang He's beautiful face. "LORD ZHANG LIAO!"
He cried out as his fingers were nipped harshly, drawing blood, and Zhang He brought him all the closer, ignoring the splashing of the cold water as he lifted his superior in his arms and brought him towards the opposite shore, "NO! No one will interfere in this! Not my Lord Cao Cao, not Zhang Liao... not ANYONE!"
The Wei general set the other man on the ground, and he stood over him, his hair and clothes dripping wet, but he cared not, his blue eyes blazing with a brutality Sima Yi had never seen directed at him before. Yet, what hurt him more was the raw pain he saw being thinly veiled by that other emotion. He could almost swear he saw the beginnings of tears in those eyes...
"Whatever you are planning, please stop! Don't do something you'll regret!" Sima Yi pleaded, bringing his bleeding hands up to shield his face. He backed away, to no avail as the strong hands stopped him from going anywhere. "Please!"
"No, too late for that, for now I have lived a life of regret!" Snarling, Zhang He was not going to let him leave, not until he saw his tears.
"Please..."
Zhang He nipped his ears and throat, his growl animalistic, "What ever is the matter? Doesn't this please you, my lord?"
"No..." Sima Yi could feel tears prick his eyes, but refused to let them flow, "He-chan... please... please stop..."
"Then tell me, how IS it that you want to be pleased? I have been kind, gentle, and I have been cruel... tell me what do you WANT?!" Zhang He bellowed in his ears, tears now falling from his sparkling blue eyes and onto the soft frightened face of the man under him. "Quit these minds games, my lord! And do not blame Xun-chan for ANY of this... you have brought it upon yourself."
Again, he mentioned that demon... that evil, smiling demon that would have died with that evil laughter if he were watching this. He WAS a demon sent from Hell to separate them. That bloody, rotten, FILTHY little demon!!!
Sima Yi hissed, closing his violet eyes to contain the tears gathering there, "I want YOU! I want the He-chan I fell in love with! The one who would never keep secrets from me; the one who would never hurt me. Do you even CARE how I feel?! You set me aflame with jealousy every time your roving eye catches sight of another man; you set me on fire with lust every time you touch me. You have my heart and my soul... and yet you never seem to take care to keep them both from being hurt!"
"I have kept nothing from you... you are the one hiding your true self from me. Your jealousy clouds your mind; you bring this pain upon yourself..."
"That demon brings it! I never questioned your love until HE came!"
Sima Yi cried out when the clenched fist struck his jaw like a rock, and he withered under that terrible, possessed voice. "I BROUGHT HIM BECAUSE... BECAUSE WHEN I SAW HIM IN BATTLE, HE HAD POTENTIAL... he has NO place in my heart, not in the sense YOU think of it as! He's a CHILD, A DAMN CHILD; I will never feel the same for him as I feel for you!"
Zhang He's tears were not lessening; if anything they were increasing, and he lowered his voice, stroking his love's hair gently, "You speak of giving your heart and soul to me; if you have not yet seen that you possess mine than you are even blinder than I think. Do you think that it does not hurt me, to see the pain and fear in your eyes? Your jealous glances strike my soul like hissing acid and poison; the first to burn a hole and the second to slowly give me a torturous death..."
"He-chan..."
He was silenced by the gentlest kiss he had ever received; the raging beast in his love had seemed to die away. After, Zhang He lifted his head, and he almost sobbed, "I love you Yi-chan, and you have to trust in my love. If... if you cannot do that, then there will be no way for us to continue our relationship. I... I cannot live with your jealousy; you will kill me with it..."
Sima Yi did not know how to combat those words, and he did nothing when Zhang He rose and left, wading back through the water to return to his tent. Instead, the jealous, hurt strategist lay there still, sobbing uncontrollably.
What a horrible night! How could the moon still shine so lovely? He cried and cried, unable to stop the man as he now heard him step out of the water, continuing on his way. "Damn you, demon... how can I kill you, without harming him? Your spell is strong, almost too strong... damn you to every level of the Abyss!"