Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plotline (unfortunately). If I did, then a) I would be rich and wouldn't need to write fanfiction and b) Draco would be much too busy to appear in fanfictions like this one… if ya know what I mean… *wink wink* I may own some characters in later chapters but as of the moment, all the characters are stolen.
Note: This will be slash in later chapters though not yet. For those of you who don't know what slash is, it's boy/boy relationships, so if you're at all squeamish about that sort of thing then please hit the back button now. Any little kiddies who have stumbled on this story by mistake please also hit the back button now. Please don't read this and then moan about a) me stealing J. K. Rowling;s characters (this is fanfiction after all) and b) the slash content in later chapters. Flames will be used to toast marshmallows. But enough from me, on with the story!
Chapter 4
A blade hovered just millimetres above a pale wrist. A tiny flick of the other wrist and it plunged down, slicing the fragile skin with ease. A brief gasp of pain bursts from full pink lips, slowly spreading into a smile. Tension eases out of knotted muscles as the knife dances up pale as death arms. Blood streams off the ends of long delicate fingers, mingling with the water flowing off the lean, bruised body. Sobs echoed around the luxurious bathroom as the fragile boy slid to the floor, blood staining his body, gashes running deep. Yet not as deep as the gashes in his soul.
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21st September 2003
Dear Diary,
Who knows what it is, to be surrounded by people and yet utterly alone? No-one would understand. How could they? It just all got too much. I couldn't take it any more. I… I had to do something. You see, I can't even write it here. At least now those bastard muggles who dare to call themselves my aunt and uncle will know something of the pain I have been going through for the last 16 years. I had so many good reasons for doing it. But that still cannot console my conscience. Cannot wash the blood from my hands. His screams run through my head at night. His face reminds me of what I have done every time I close my eyes. How long will it be, I wonder, before I am discovered. What then? Will I be dragged off to some muggle jail? Or will I be thrown into Azkaban for the rest of my dismal pointless life? For surely Dumbledore cannot condone this. Ron and Hermione must never find out. I must be 'the Golden Boy' for them. I can't let them down. But it may be inevitable. Hermione's bound to work out that something's wrong. Whatever happens no-one must know I tried to kill myself as well.
Draco seems strangely subdued at the moment. I wonder what's up with the little daddies boy. Oh wait. No I don't. I hate the little ferret.
I don't know how this will all end, but I hope, Oh Merlin I pray that no-one else gets hurt.
~ Harry
Harry wipes the tears from his cheeks and, prising up the floor boards, he slips the little black notebook back into the cubby-hole. Replacing the floorboards he smiles, a grim smirk, and mutters to himself.
"No-one will ever find out."
"Find out what, mate?" Ron walks into the dorm, a goofy grin plastered over his face.
"What?" Harry looks around nervously. "Oh nothing." He grins. "Just talking to Rosie."
"Rosie?" Ron looks puzzled.
"Oh yeah." Harry replies. "I forgot you don't know about Rosie…"
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All of Hogwarts was still. The moon tinted everything with glittering silver. Shadows dappled the ground, inky black. A dark shape flashes quickly across the grounds, watched from the top of the astronomy tower. The figure vanishes into the Forbidden Forest, followed at a distance by a shadow. Curiously this shadow appears to be cast by absolutely nothing. A blink from the eyes watching, and all has vanished, the grounds returning to the calm and silence of night as though no-one has ever been there.
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"Ronnie, darling." A girl's voice rang out from deeper within the forest. Ron grinned and broke into a run.
"Hermione?!?" Harry muttered in surprise.
He crept to the edge of the clearing and blinked in surprise. The clearing flickered in the soft glow of candlelight, rose petals were scattered over the ground and romantic music drifted between the trees.
"Wow." Harry gasped.
He watched as Ron ran to Hermione and gathered her into his arms.
"It's perfect, my love." He grinned, planting a kiss on her full lips. "Just perfect."
She responded eagerly to his kiss. Harry smiled sadly as he watched.
"I wondered how long it would take them to work out what the rest of the school has known for ages." He grinned momentarily. "I wonder who had the beginning of 5th year…" He turns away sadly and walks slowly back to the castle. I wish I had someone to do things like that for me. He thinks wistfully as he makes his way back up to his dormitory.
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A tear fell from the top of the astronomy tower, plummeting to earth un-noticed. The eyes from which it fell watching the bodiless shadow move slowly back to the school. A sigh floated off, lost in the midnight breeze.
"And I could never have him."
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"I hate him. I hate him. I hate him!" Harry pounds a pillow viciously. "He makes my life a living hell." He pauses. "And yet I can't get him out of my mind." He mutters, his gaze troubled, his mind in a turmoil. "The only time I feel truly alive is when I fight with him…"
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There you go. Please PLEASE review and tell me what you think. How could I improve it? Should I write more or not?