The Team of the Ring
Once upon a time in a land not so far away which will be named our humble little town. Lived a gay. This gay's name was Finny Baggins. Now Finny Baggins had a humongous head and a small scrawny body. He was also infected with ADHD. Well little Finny Baggins had a friend that was like a butt buddy to him. This friend's name was Sam Densemore. Well one day Finny and Sam were strolling through the streets and discovered a ring in the ditch. Finny picked it up.
"Aaaaaaaaa, it wooks wike a wingggg," said young Finny.
"Yeah but where did it come from?" asked Sam, then quickly jerked his head to one side with the Terret Syndrome that he was affected by.
"Aaaaaaaaa, we go ask Hawwygalf," said Finny. So Finny and Sam trudged to Finny's house where Harrygalf was sitting nicely in the living room.
"Aaaaaaaaa, Hawwygalf, we find a wingggggg, and we don't know where it came fwommmm," said Finny in his non-intelligent gay language.
"Hmmmmm, this ring looks familiar…I must go speak with the head of the Vikings. He is both wise and powerful," said Harrygalf. So Harrygalf mounted his mighty van and rode over to the tower of the Viking's stadium, where
Dennis Green lived. There Dennis Green came out, greeting Harrygalf. And also saying mindless jibberish.
"So Harrygalf, the great ring has been found, has it not?" asked Dennis.
"Why yes it has Dennis, for it has been in the streets all these long years. Under my very nose," said Harrygalf.
"And yet you have not had the wits to see it, you're love for pessimism has surely slowed your mind," said Dennis.
"Well damn it Dennis, we'll have fricken time to act if we fricken act quickly. Now I know that the ring has been found but we must act. If we act, we will still have time," Harrygalf mindlessly repeated.
"Time? What time do you think we have?" asked Dennis.
"Well the little ones have their whole life," said Harrygalf.
"You think that gays can surely behold the ring? For there are none who can. The gays can't even go out of town on their own. How do you think they will destroy the one ring?" asked Dennis.
"Well here's how: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah," Harrygalf said mindlessly for hours and hours. By that time Dennis was asleep in his chair.
"GOD DAMN IT WAKE UP! WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO!" screamed Harrygalf. Dennis suddenly snapped awake.
"Harrygalf, we can't win against the Packers. For the Vikings against the Packers, there is no victory. We must join with them Harrygalf. We must turn to cheeseheads," said Dennis.
"Dennis, what have you been snorting?" asked Harrygalf.
"About 20 kilos," said Dennis, "it has left me a little messed up."
"Well tell me, friend, when did Dennis Green the wise of the Vikings reason for drugs?" asked Harrygalf. Suddenly Dennis got an insane look on his face. He grabbed a football and nailed Harrygalf in the head. Harrygalf flew back. Harrygalf picked up a football and threw it Dennis's stomach. It hit him and sent him flying back through a doorway. Then Dennis threw one at Harrygalf's head again and hit him right in the nose. Harrygalf screamed with pain but quickly chucked one at Dennis. It went really low and hit Dennis right in the nuts. This sent Dennis flying back in great pain. Then Dennis ran up and kicked Harrygalf and he flew through some field goal posts. Harrygalf then got up and ran away from the Viking's tower.
"For you have chosen, defeat," said Dennis.
Finny and Sam were continually playing football in the backyard when suddenly Harrygalf came barging up. He tackled Sam and left him unconscious. He dragged Finny into the house.
"Finny put the ring on the table," said Harrygalf. Finny put the ring on the table and they both observed it for a 5 hour period. After that Harrygalf decided to say something.
"Finny, this is no ordinary ring. The ring is that of the Packers, which I will not utter hear. The language on the ring says, One Ring to win the bowl, One Ring to find the victory, One Ring to bring them all, and in the stadium bind them! This ring belongs to Brett Favre. He lost it when the Packers played the Vikings," said Harrygalf.
"But he was defeated, Brett Favre was defeated," said Finny.
"No Finny, the spirit and victory of Brett Favre endoured. His lifeforce is bound to the ring that he got when he won the superbowl. He must have to defeat all the football teams in the world. He is seeking it, oh his thoughts are bent on it. He must never find it…" said Harrygalf.
"Aaaaaaaaa, fine, then I won't tell anyone!" said Finny.
"But, there was one other who knew the ring was here. I searched everywhere for the creature Nick, but the Packers found him first. I don't know how long they tortured him, but after all the time, the deserved two words. 'Gutter', 'Baggins'!" said Harrygalf.
"Gutter…Baggins…but that will lead them here! Take it Harrygalf!" said Finny shoving the ring towards Harrygalf. Harrygalf then slapped the ring out of Finny's hand and then slapped Finny across the face.
"Damn it bitch! I'm not going to be a Packer fan!" yelled Harrygalf.
"But I'm not a Packer fan!" yelled Finny.
"But you love all football," said Harrygalf.
"Fine, I'll take the ring. But I don't know what to do!" screamed Finny. Finny then went in a corner and cried like a baby.
"I will help you bear this burden. For now we must go to Goman's, for they are holding a council there," said Harrygalf. Suddenly there was a sound.
"Get down," said Harrygalf. Harrygalf picked up a football and chucked it at the sound. He heard a huge moan followed by endless crying. Harrygalf reached down and grabbed a person and flung him through the window.
"God damn Sam Densemore! Have you been spying on us?!?" said Harrygalf filled with rage.
"I didn't do it," said Sam.
"Well now you have to join us! Or else I'll ground Finny for life!" said Harrygalf. Sam got an incredibly scared look on his face, and then decided to join. Harrygalf, Sam, and Finny all left and started for the Goman's for the council.
Once upon a time in a land not so far away which will be named our humble little town. Lived a gay. This gay's name was Finny Baggins. Now Finny Baggins had a humongous head and a small scrawny body. He was also infected with ADHD. Well little Finny Baggins had a friend that was like a butt buddy to him. This friend's name was Sam Densemore. Well one day Finny and Sam were strolling through the streets and discovered a ring in the ditch. Finny picked it up.
"Aaaaaaaaa, it wooks wike a wingggg," said young Finny.
"Yeah but where did it come from?" asked Sam, then quickly jerked his head to one side with the Terret Syndrome that he was affected by.
"Aaaaaaaaa, we go ask Hawwygalf," said Finny. So Finny and Sam trudged to Finny's house where Harrygalf was sitting nicely in the living room.
"Aaaaaaaaa, Hawwygalf, we find a wingggggg, and we don't know where it came fwommmm," said Finny in his non-intelligent gay language.
"Hmmmmm, this ring looks familiar…I must go speak with the head of the Vikings. He is both wise and powerful," said Harrygalf. So Harrygalf mounted his mighty van and rode over to the tower of the Viking's stadium, where
Dennis Green lived. There Dennis Green came out, greeting Harrygalf. And also saying mindless jibberish.
"So Harrygalf, the great ring has been found, has it not?" asked Dennis.
"Why yes it has Dennis, for it has been in the streets all these long years. Under my very nose," said Harrygalf.
"And yet you have not had the wits to see it, you're love for pessimism has surely slowed your mind," said Dennis.
"Well damn it Dennis, we'll have fricken time to act if we fricken act quickly. Now I know that the ring has been found but we must act. If we act, we will still have time," Harrygalf mindlessly repeated.
"Time? What time do you think we have?" asked Dennis.
"Well the little ones have their whole life," said Harrygalf.
"You think that gays can surely behold the ring? For there are none who can. The gays can't even go out of town on their own. How do you think they will destroy the one ring?" asked Dennis.
"Well here's how: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah," Harrygalf said mindlessly for hours and hours. By that time Dennis was asleep in his chair.
"GOD DAMN IT WAKE UP! WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO!" screamed Harrygalf. Dennis suddenly snapped awake.
"Harrygalf, we can't win against the Packers. For the Vikings against the Packers, there is no victory. We must join with them Harrygalf. We must turn to cheeseheads," said Dennis.
"Dennis, what have you been snorting?" asked Harrygalf.
"About 20 kilos," said Dennis, "it has left me a little messed up."
"Well tell me, friend, when did Dennis Green the wise of the Vikings reason for drugs?" asked Harrygalf. Suddenly Dennis got an insane look on his face. He grabbed a football and nailed Harrygalf in the head. Harrygalf flew back. Harrygalf picked up a football and threw it Dennis's stomach. It hit him and sent him flying back through a doorway. Then Dennis threw one at Harrygalf's head again and hit him right in the nose. Harrygalf screamed with pain but quickly chucked one at Dennis. It went really low and hit Dennis right in the nuts. This sent Dennis flying back in great pain. Then Dennis ran up and kicked Harrygalf and he flew through some field goal posts. Harrygalf then got up and ran away from the Viking's tower.
"For you have chosen, defeat," said Dennis.
Finny and Sam were continually playing football in the backyard when suddenly Harrygalf came barging up. He tackled Sam and left him unconscious. He dragged Finny into the house.
"Finny put the ring on the table," said Harrygalf. Finny put the ring on the table and they both observed it for a 5 hour period. After that Harrygalf decided to say something.
"Finny, this is no ordinary ring. The ring is that of the Packers, which I will not utter hear. The language on the ring says, One Ring to win the bowl, One Ring to find the victory, One Ring to bring them all, and in the stadium bind them! This ring belongs to Brett Favre. He lost it when the Packers played the Vikings," said Harrygalf.
"But he was defeated, Brett Favre was defeated," said Finny.
"No Finny, the spirit and victory of Brett Favre endoured. His lifeforce is bound to the ring that he got when he won the superbowl. He must have to defeat all the football teams in the world. He is seeking it, oh his thoughts are bent on it. He must never find it…" said Harrygalf.
"Aaaaaaaaa, fine, then I won't tell anyone!" said Finny.
"But, there was one other who knew the ring was here. I searched everywhere for the creature Nick, but the Packers found him first. I don't know how long they tortured him, but after all the time, the deserved two words. 'Gutter', 'Baggins'!" said Harrygalf.
"Gutter…Baggins…but that will lead them here! Take it Harrygalf!" said Finny shoving the ring towards Harrygalf. Harrygalf then slapped the ring out of Finny's hand and then slapped Finny across the face.
"Damn it bitch! I'm not going to be a Packer fan!" yelled Harrygalf.
"But I'm not a Packer fan!" yelled Finny.
"But you love all football," said Harrygalf.
"Fine, I'll take the ring. But I don't know what to do!" screamed Finny. Finny then went in a corner and cried like a baby.
"I will help you bear this burden. For now we must go to Goman's, for they are holding a council there," said Harrygalf. Suddenly there was a sound.
"Get down," said Harrygalf. Harrygalf picked up a football and chucked it at the sound. He heard a huge moan followed by endless crying. Harrygalf reached down and grabbed a person and flung him through the window.
"God damn Sam Densemore! Have you been spying on us?!?" said Harrygalf filled with rage.
"I didn't do it," said Sam.
"Well now you have to join us! Or else I'll ground Finny for life!" said Harrygalf. Sam got an incredibly scared look on his face, and then decided to join. Harrygalf, Sam, and Finny all left and started for the Goman's for the council.