Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Note: This is a sequel to my short "Premonition". I did not intend to continue with it, but a bunny attacked and I wrote (by hand for once).
Promise
Five years ago. It was five years ago today and I remain the broken man I was that day. That day she was gone and I was sure I would be gone too. She had been my air and water. I lived for her existence and when she ceased to exist I had nothing to live for.
It sickens me to know that today she exists as nothing but a memory. She should be real dammit, not a figment of my imagination. Last night I dreamed of her, again. It was a pleasant dream that ended with the sweetest kiss, the most precious touch, that I woke feeling her warmth on my lips. I had gently run the tips of my fingers along the trail she traced until the warmth faded and my eyes flooded with tears. She had been so real but in that surreal moment it was as if she had died all over again. My already dead heart had been beating in that dream and to wake to its cold stillness reminded me only of the pain I felt without her.
I'm so pathetic. Five years and I am only a shell. Five years of loneliness, of refusing to let anyone in, to fill my hollowness once again. I could never move on. I could never betray her like that...deny our love. Our bond was everything. It was as if I was addicted to what we had. She was that special one, the only, that made my life complete. She changed me, wholly and forever.
A dream come true, now gone and only that...a dream.
I become nauseated when the memory of that day surfaces. The officers had held me back, away from my elixir of life that lay unmoving beneath a blanket of misfortune. I had yelled and screamed her name, willing her with everything I had to return to me. But she never rose from that ruin of death. Her essence was stolen, ripped apart that mournful day, and I have been in search of it ever since.
I only hope that I do not fall apart before I can conclude my search. I refuse to be defeated -to be cheated- when it comes to you, Rory. Not like I was those few years ago. God chose to take my most precious gem and I hate Him for that. I refuse to accept that you are in heaven. You must be a wondering spirit, lost and alone. My love, I hope you are not frightened. I will protect you; I swear it on my own life. I will die before I ever let you suffer ever again.
I will find you, Rory, and we can be together once again. I promise.