Author's Note: Yes. Some of you may have read this before. This is a re-post. I happened to be looking at my profile and clicked on this one day. Much to my surprise, the format was totally screwed up. Not to mention that the actual writing was horrible…even for a comedy. So I pulled it up and re-tweaked it. Here it is…the song fic based off of GWTW. The song is "Ain't It Funny?" remix by J.Lo and Ja Rule. In this story, I'm assuming all the events from "Scarlett" happened except Rhett getting her back and the whole Cat birth. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own "Gone with the Wind" or "Scarlett". That pleasure belongs to the estate of Margaret Mitchell.
One very fine day in Atlanta Georgia, Scarlett O' Hara/Hamilton/Kennedy/Butler was sitting on the stairs of her Peachtree St. House, much like she had done after Rhett had left her. She sighed. It had been a few hard months, but she decided that Rhett was a major ass, and so she got over him quickly. She had been to Ireland (She also conveniently met all the characters from Scarlett, including Anne) Once again, she sighed before standing and began walking up the stairs to her room.
~*~
Haha it must be the Ass
That got me like damn
If it get any fatter
Man the rule gonna hafta get at her
And our situation won't matter
I come to make you smile
In the freakiest landers
J to the L-O
Hello, no I'm not be harmin' y'alls wall
I'm the rule in the shot call
Off the wall
Like MJ in his early days
It's the achin' Lopez now
~*~
Rhett Butler stood outside the door to his and Scarlett's old home, thinking about the time that had passed since the infamous night where he uttered "Frankly my dear…" speech and left out into the fog. Yet in these past few months, he had (as always) felt a calling for Scarlett, and decided to come back. He knew Scarlett would fall at his knees, and it wouldn't matter the situation of their personal life at all. He put a hand on the doorknob, turned it, and entered while calling "Scarlett, I'm home!" He saw her standing on the stairs, mouth agape. Well, he always knew he was good looking, but c'mon. Why wouldn't she say anything?
~*~
Ain't that funny
It's been awhile since you came around
Now ya wanna see what's goin' downTryin' to tell me how ya want my time
Tryin' to tell me how I'm on your mind
See it never had to be this way
You should of never played the games you played
Now I'm seein' that you're kinda lame
Knowin how the situation changed
~*~
Scarlett saw him there, mouth moving with excuses. He missed her, she was on his mind, and never mind the fact that he had left her, but he was back and that's all that mattered, and would you care to get re-married?
She was in shock. She searched for something to say in reply…anything! She wanted to run to him and jump into his arms. Then, she felt it. The anger. It swam up from somewhere deep in her stomach and flowed red hot life into her tongue. She opened her mouth and said "Look Rhett, it didn't have to be this way! You shouldn't have played the games you played. You were always going out to Belle Wattling's whenever we had a fight instead of staying to work it out! You married Anne when I was over in Ireland. Now that she's dead you expect me to just jump into your arms? Tough luck!"
~*~
Ain't that funny
Baby that you want me, when you had me
Love is crazy, now I can smile and say
Ain't that funny
Baby that you want me, when you had me
Love is crazy, I'm glad I can smile and say
Ain't that funny
~*~
Scarlett paused to smile and then continued talking to a very shocked Rhett.
"Isn't it funny Rhett? You had me all those months ago, begging at your feet, yet now you want me? That's just too damn bad! Love must be the trickiest thing!"
~*~
I remember how you walked away
Even when I tried to call your name
See at first I didn't understand
Now you're lookin' like a lonely man (lonely man)
I remember how you did me wrong
And now you're hurtin' cuz my love is gone
Everybody gets a chance to burn
You can take it as a chance to learn
~*~
Rhett was shocked! Scarlett with a resolve of feeling towards him? This was not how it was supposed to go at all! He started walking towards her, but she put up her hand and began to speak again.
"Remember that night? The night Mellie died? Well, I called for you, I ran after you to this house, begging you not to leave, yet you did anyway. See at first I had no clue what I did wrong except to foolishly love Ashley. Yet here you are, looking all lonely because I don't love you anymore. Everyone gets a lesson to learn in their life Rhett. Mine was to not foolishly chase after your sister-in-law's husband. I burned for that and you can burn too! Take this as a lesson learned."
~*~
I really wish you wouldn't send me gifts
Tryin' to make me sit and reminisce
Tryin' to buy me with your blingin' bling
Thought I told you love don't cost a thing
Hope you realize that now I'm through
And I don't ever wanna hear from you
I had enough of bein' there for you
Now I'm laughin' while you play the fool
~*~
Rhett walked forward and said "Scarlett, I know we can work things out! Frankly my dear…I have gold! Gifts and money! I know you always liked money, my dear. I'll give you bonnets from Paris and everything else! Anything you want, just take me back!"
Scarlett shook her head, and spoke again.
"Listen Rhett, you may try to blind me with your money and everything else you have but I've learned that love doesn't cost a thing. So don't even try it with me."
She paused, smiled again. "Try and give me a remembrance of dignity in our marriage and just leave! I'm through with you! Get over it! Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn about what you feel at this point."
Rhett was shocked. His gleaming eyes were now merely lack-luster. His own "Frankly my dear" speech had been used back against him. His bags dropped from his hands, and one burst open, leaving snap shots of Anne scattered all over the carpeted floor.
~*~
Baby, I got my boyfriend
Is that your girlfriend
But maybe we can be friends
La da da da da da
~*~
Scarlett sneered and said. "Isn't that your "wife" Rhett? I couldn't marry a widower. I have Charles, that English guy back in Ireland, so I have a boyfriend. Maybe we can be friends but that's that." Scarlett turned her back on him then. She smiled slowly to herself before walking up the stairs.
Rhett watched her go. He was dumbfounded. Shaking, he turned and left that house, never to return!
