Follow Your Heart
by
YamiHikari
Disclaimer- *sigh* I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters, happy now? Oh, but Tajima Ryuka is my original character, so there will be hell to pay if you use her without asking and getting permission.
Author's Note- Hmm, since only LorimLowe2 has submitted to my contest, I think that they're gonna win, since no one else has. Let's just wait a couple more days... months... decades. -_-;; ... Oh, and people, read the Author's Notes at the ends of the chapters, pleeeaaaase! I put some news in there, so it's worth reading, okies? Arigato.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ever since it had been reawakened, the beast would not be subdued. Its call, shrill, and somehow conveying the last, rattling breath of a dying man within it, tore through her mind again and again, echoing, until she wanted to scream, to drown that sound out. Anything to keep it out of her mind.
Tajima Ryuka could not sleep for that sound, and it still reached out golden strands, which were far stronger than they seemed, to cage her humanity and control her again.
She couldn't give in. She'd nearly broken her promise once already, and could not, would not, let it happen again. How low had she fallen, to let her past training slip away in less than half a year?
Almost unconsciously, her hand had reached up to the side of her neck, and one finger slid slowly down it, then stopped and recoiled as if from a burning ember at the first of the two small, almost invisible, circular scars, about 2.5 inches away from each other.
The sound crescendoed to an unearthly howl that was never meant for humans to experience. Biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out, the metallic tang of blood quickly filled her mouth. The strands had formed into a noose around her neck and were drawing tighted. She fought to keep it from happening, but she was loosing. The gray of her eyes began to mingle with fiery gold.
A light knock on the door dissolved the noose, and Tajima could breathe again. The knob on the oak door twisted; brass, thank God it was brass, and not gold. She could live for the rest of her life without seeing that color again and be relatively happy. Quatre looked in.
She glanced at him, then away. It hadn't all gone at the sound of that knock.
Letting himself in, Quatre quietly closed the door behind him. It still shut with a "click" that seemed like it would echo forlornly throughout the mansion. The room returned to its silence, and seemed abnormally empty after the sound.
Tajima still stared fixedly out the window, out at the gray world beyond. If it was raining already, it would soon.
"Well?"
The word shattered the silence, that one word spoken in a voice completely devoid of any emotion whatsoever. It seemed more dead than alive, and was unnerving. The head of the Winner household tried to make the best of it.
"'Well' what?"
Again, there was that dead voice. "You came here for something. What?"
Even with what seemed like permission to speak and abolish the silence for the time being, he still hesitated. Maybe it was a little too personal. He changed his mind and instead asked, "Is everything okay? Did anything happen?"
As Quatre spoke, he moved halfway across the room and sat on the bed. Her profile was lit by the somewhat distorted light that managed to get through the rain. It twisted into disgusted, self-hating grimace.
"Sure, everything's fine," she replied scathingly. "Everyone I knew and who appreciated me is gone because of my mistakes. I mess up a suicide - how the hell do you do that anyway? Screw up killing yourself- and come here. Next, I nearly kill you, another suicide attempt failed, I nearly kill one of your friends, and what more, I nearly break a promise to one of the people who- to someone who's dead because of me. I'm fine, thank you, how was your damn life?"
Suddenly, unexpectedly, Quatre's temper flared in return, and he answered fire with fire. "It was fine as well, thank you for asking. My mother died when I was born, I disappoint my father by fighting for something he believes in, and the very people I fight to protect turn against me. My sister and father die because of me, and I killed innocents and very nearly Trowa, for no other reason that they were in my way. Just because I fight for peace doesn't mean I'm a pampered, naive brat who doesn't know what the real world is like!"
Now Tajima had turned to face him. Closing his eyes and taking a couple deep breaths, he apologized.
"I'm sorry. It's just... I don't think I ever got over... how much blood is on my hands."
He opened his eyes. She had turned back to the window, face expressionless again.
"Most of the ones I dispose of don't bleed, so they take blood from others and are the ones with blood on their hands. Though I may have some sort of stain on my soul, I am not yet sorry for being the cause of their demise."
They both were silent for a few more minutes. Then Quatre stood, and made his way back to the door. He paused, and looked back, hand on the doorknob.
"You know... if you ever get lonely and... and decide that you want one... I'll be your friend[1]."
He twisted the knob, and went out the door, shutting it behind him.
She turned in her seat and stared at the closed door. Turning back to watch the raindrops splatter themselves against the window and slide down, she shut her eyes that were mirrors of the sky above.
"'Friend', huh?"
- - - - - - - - - -
[1]- "I'll Be Your Friend" is one of the songs that Quatre's seiyuu, Ai Orikasa, sings for the second Gundam Wing soundtrack.
Author's Note - Short chapter. But it's still worth reading, right? Right? Right. I had to get something up, or my conscience would never forgive me. Oh, and I'm doing a rewrite of the previous chapters, except that I'll be posting it seperately and seeing which one people like better, so don't be expecting any new chapters soon. Like, say, for a month. Or two. Or three... *sigh* oh well, ja!
by
YamiHikari
Disclaimer- *sigh* I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters, happy now? Oh, but Tajima Ryuka is my original character, so there will be hell to pay if you use her without asking and getting permission.
Author's Note- Hmm, since only LorimLowe2 has submitted to my contest, I think that they're gonna win, since no one else has. Let's just wait a couple more days... months... decades. -_-;; ... Oh, and people, read the Author's Notes at the ends of the chapters, pleeeaaaase! I put some news in there, so it's worth reading, okies? Arigato.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ever since it had been reawakened, the beast would not be subdued. Its call, shrill, and somehow conveying the last, rattling breath of a dying man within it, tore through her mind again and again, echoing, until she wanted to scream, to drown that sound out. Anything to keep it out of her mind.
Tajima Ryuka could not sleep for that sound, and it still reached out golden strands, which were far stronger than they seemed, to cage her humanity and control her again.
She couldn't give in. She'd nearly broken her promise once already, and could not, would not, let it happen again. How low had she fallen, to let her past training slip away in less than half a year?
Almost unconsciously, her hand had reached up to the side of her neck, and one finger slid slowly down it, then stopped and recoiled as if from a burning ember at the first of the two small, almost invisible, circular scars, about 2.5 inches away from each other.
The sound crescendoed to an unearthly howl that was never meant for humans to experience. Biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out, the metallic tang of blood quickly filled her mouth. The strands had formed into a noose around her neck and were drawing tighted. She fought to keep it from happening, but she was loosing. The gray of her eyes began to mingle with fiery gold.
A light knock on the door dissolved the noose, and Tajima could breathe again. The knob on the oak door twisted; brass, thank God it was brass, and not gold. She could live for the rest of her life without seeing that color again and be relatively happy. Quatre looked in.
She glanced at him, then away. It hadn't all gone at the sound of that knock.
Letting himself in, Quatre quietly closed the door behind him. It still shut with a "click" that seemed like it would echo forlornly throughout the mansion. The room returned to its silence, and seemed abnormally empty after the sound.
Tajima still stared fixedly out the window, out at the gray world beyond. If it was raining already, it would soon.
"Well?"
The word shattered the silence, that one word spoken in a voice completely devoid of any emotion whatsoever. It seemed more dead than alive, and was unnerving. The head of the Winner household tried to make the best of it.
"'Well' what?"
Again, there was that dead voice. "You came here for something. What?"
Even with what seemed like permission to speak and abolish the silence for the time being, he still hesitated. Maybe it was a little too personal. He changed his mind and instead asked, "Is everything okay? Did anything happen?"
As Quatre spoke, he moved halfway across the room and sat on the bed. Her profile was lit by the somewhat distorted light that managed to get through the rain. It twisted into disgusted, self-hating grimace.
"Sure, everything's fine," she replied scathingly. "Everyone I knew and who appreciated me is gone because of my mistakes. I mess up a suicide - how the hell do you do that anyway? Screw up killing yourself- and come here. Next, I nearly kill you, another suicide attempt failed, I nearly kill one of your friends, and what more, I nearly break a promise to one of the people who- to someone who's dead because of me. I'm fine, thank you, how was your damn life?"
Suddenly, unexpectedly, Quatre's temper flared in return, and he answered fire with fire. "It was fine as well, thank you for asking. My mother died when I was born, I disappoint my father by fighting for something he believes in, and the very people I fight to protect turn against me. My sister and father die because of me, and I killed innocents and very nearly Trowa, for no other reason that they were in my way. Just because I fight for peace doesn't mean I'm a pampered, naive brat who doesn't know what the real world is like!"
Now Tajima had turned to face him. Closing his eyes and taking a couple deep breaths, he apologized.
"I'm sorry. It's just... I don't think I ever got over... how much blood is on my hands."
He opened his eyes. She had turned back to the window, face expressionless again.
"Most of the ones I dispose of don't bleed, so they take blood from others and are the ones with blood on their hands. Though I may have some sort of stain on my soul, I am not yet sorry for being the cause of their demise."
They both were silent for a few more minutes. Then Quatre stood, and made his way back to the door. He paused, and looked back, hand on the doorknob.
"You know... if you ever get lonely and... and decide that you want one... I'll be your friend[1]."
He twisted the knob, and went out the door, shutting it behind him.
She turned in her seat and stared at the closed door. Turning back to watch the raindrops splatter themselves against the window and slide down, she shut her eyes that were mirrors of the sky above.
"'Friend', huh?"
- - - - - - - - - -
[1]- "I'll Be Your Friend" is one of the songs that Quatre's seiyuu, Ai Orikasa, sings for the second Gundam Wing soundtrack.
Author's Note - Short chapter. But it's still worth reading, right? Right? Right. I had to get something up, or my conscience would never forgive me. Oh, and I'm doing a rewrite of the previous chapters, except that I'll be posting it seperately and seeing which one people like better, so don't be expecting any new chapters soon. Like, say, for a month. Or two. Or three... *sigh* oh well, ja!