grab-ur-lightsaber - Here is that promised chapter. I will try and post
again soon here as well. Thanks for keeping this fic afloat. ; )
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"Anakin? Are you all right? You seem distracted." Bant questioned as she came to stand in front of the youth.
"I'm just so confused," whispered the apprentice. Bant placed her hand on his shoulder and sent soothing waves through the Force.
"Why don't we go into my office and where we can talk." The Master Healer guided Anakin through the halls of the clinic until they reached a small room. A desk, neat and orderly, sat in the middle. Filing cabinets lined the room and few pictures adorned the walls. Two chairs sat in front of the bureau, which Anakin came to stand in-between. Bant moved to occupy the chair that sat behind the desk. "Please, sit," she offered. Anakin picked a seat and crashed into it. "What's the cause of your confusion?" The Jedi queried gently.
Frustrated, he began, "There's not one cause that I can pinpoint. It's all so jumbled in my mind, I just don't know what's going on anymore."
After a thoughtful moment, Bant suggested, "Maybe if you begin prior to when the confusion first appeared, you can straighten out your thoughts."
Anakin sat for a moment rifling through his memory to locate that moment. "I think it started when the Council sent us to Kenyan to get that message and just got worse from there." He sunk further into the seat. "Master's reaction to the message was - disturbing. But he seemed to forget all about it when we learned Master MysAri was ill. Now instead of dealing with whatever the message was supposed to mean, he's concentrating on MysAri. I've never seen him so off balance, and ." He didn't want to finish, Anakin felt too ashamed of his feelings.
"And what? It's best if you say it aloud. Once it's out you will find it's easier to deal with." Bant encouraged, she could sense the budding envy in the boy.
"I'm sorry for feeling this way, but I just can't help feeling a little jealous of her." He admitted then looked down at his hands, not wanting to face the Master.
"Anakin, I know this is hard for you right now. You have much still to learn. But please believe me when I tell you, that you will understand in time." She watched him nod, but could tell that her words were not enough to appease his countenance. Instead she tried a new approach, "How long have you and Obi-Wan been Master and Apprentice?"
"Five years, but you should know that." He eyed the Mon Calamarian incredulously, not comprehending the purpose of the question.
"But you were in training for the first three years after you arrived at the Temple. You only started assuming the Padawan role two years ago, correct?" He nodded. "And how strong are your feelings for Obi-Wan?"
"I care for him as deeply as I would a father." Anakin announced proudly.
"Yet you have only known him for that short amount of time. You lived with your mother prior to coming to the Jedi, and I know you love her tremendously. But if you were to compare the two, I'm sure I would be right in saying that you place your mother over Obi-Wan in your heart." Anakin suddenly blushed from embarrassment, he knew she spoke the truth, but was ashamed all the same. "But the emotion is still the same and as strong, you can't help feeling the way you do because of the length of time you have spent with each one and the ties you have with them. Do you see why I am bringing this to your attention?"
Shaking his head slowly, Anakin stared at her blankly. "My point is Anakin, that your Master and MysAri have been friends longer than you've been alive. It's not that he loves either of you any differently, but some bonds are just a little stronger. Do you understand what I just told you?"
"I think so," he said tentatively.
"I hope so, because I do have one more thing to say." She met his eyes in order to make sure he was listening. "Have you considered talking to your Master, or even MysAri directly? They might be able to help you understand their relationship."
Anakin began to fidget, his mind racing again with memories. Too worked up to remain seated, Anakin abruptly rose and made his way to study the pictures along the wall. Most included Bant and other Jedi that Anakin didn't recognize. But his eyes did light on one that had familiar faces. Bant, Garen, Reeft, Siri, MysAri and a couple others were gathered around his Master, whom was resting in a bed here at the Ward. There was a smile on Obi-Wan's face but you could tell he was none too pleased. As his eyes rested on the estranged woman who entangled his thoughts he pointed out, "I think I know a little about how Master MysAri feels. It's Master Obi-Wan that still has me reeling."
Returning to scrutinize the photo, Anakin blinked a couple of times in an attempt to clear his vision, he thought he must have stared too hard and created a duplicate image. When the problem didn't correct, he realized that there were two identical people in the holo. Without thinking, he asked, "Who's that?" Not knowing to whom he was referring, Bant drew up behind him. As she approached, he pointed at the echoed reflection, "Her?"
Recognizing the person immediately, Bant informed with a hint of sorrow, "That's MysAri's twin sister, MiraCyn."
Absently he added, "I don't remember meeting her."
"No, I doubt you would, she passed into the Force about six years ago," the healer explained.
For a second time, Anakin flushed, as he identified his impertinent behaviour. Maybe there was more to MysAri than I previously thought. Thoughtfully, he remarked, "I don't even remember them mentioning her before."
"They probably wouldn't. It was a dark time for all of them after that awful mission. Neither Obi nor Mys were able to talk to each other until Master Qui-Gon passed. Now I've noticed that they avoid the topic if possible." She surmised.
"How did she die?" It was an innocent question, but Anakin could feel the Calamarian tense for a moment.
"She died on a mission. That's all the information I can give you." Bant moved back toward her chair to remove herself from that subject. Anakin lingered for a while longer, simply trying to comprehend what could have caused such a rift. Bant continued to watch him for some minutes before revisiting the boy's earlier concern.
"Do you want my honest opinion, Anakin?" She paused waiting for his indication of acceptance, when he turned his full attention towards her, she continued. "Have you not thought that, maybe the reason you're so confused is because Obi-Wan, himself, is unsure of his own emotions?"
Until that moment she asked the question, the thought never crossed his mind. Now that the query had been posed, Anakin realized how valid the question was. Perhaps I should go and talk with Master. It's possible in my need to learn the truth; I can help him discover it for himself.
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Reviews? Please? Is this really that bad? Just say 'hi' to let me know your out there. Pretty please with Obi on top?! Well, I hope you enjoyed thanks.
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"Anakin? Are you all right? You seem distracted." Bant questioned as she came to stand in front of the youth.
"I'm just so confused," whispered the apprentice. Bant placed her hand on his shoulder and sent soothing waves through the Force.
"Why don't we go into my office and where we can talk." The Master Healer guided Anakin through the halls of the clinic until they reached a small room. A desk, neat and orderly, sat in the middle. Filing cabinets lined the room and few pictures adorned the walls. Two chairs sat in front of the bureau, which Anakin came to stand in-between. Bant moved to occupy the chair that sat behind the desk. "Please, sit," she offered. Anakin picked a seat and crashed into it. "What's the cause of your confusion?" The Jedi queried gently.
Frustrated, he began, "There's not one cause that I can pinpoint. It's all so jumbled in my mind, I just don't know what's going on anymore."
After a thoughtful moment, Bant suggested, "Maybe if you begin prior to when the confusion first appeared, you can straighten out your thoughts."
Anakin sat for a moment rifling through his memory to locate that moment. "I think it started when the Council sent us to Kenyan to get that message and just got worse from there." He sunk further into the seat. "Master's reaction to the message was - disturbing. But he seemed to forget all about it when we learned Master MysAri was ill. Now instead of dealing with whatever the message was supposed to mean, he's concentrating on MysAri. I've never seen him so off balance, and ." He didn't want to finish, Anakin felt too ashamed of his feelings.
"And what? It's best if you say it aloud. Once it's out you will find it's easier to deal with." Bant encouraged, she could sense the budding envy in the boy.
"I'm sorry for feeling this way, but I just can't help feeling a little jealous of her." He admitted then looked down at his hands, not wanting to face the Master.
"Anakin, I know this is hard for you right now. You have much still to learn. But please believe me when I tell you, that you will understand in time." She watched him nod, but could tell that her words were not enough to appease his countenance. Instead she tried a new approach, "How long have you and Obi-Wan been Master and Apprentice?"
"Five years, but you should know that." He eyed the Mon Calamarian incredulously, not comprehending the purpose of the question.
"But you were in training for the first three years after you arrived at the Temple. You only started assuming the Padawan role two years ago, correct?" He nodded. "And how strong are your feelings for Obi-Wan?"
"I care for him as deeply as I would a father." Anakin announced proudly.
"Yet you have only known him for that short amount of time. You lived with your mother prior to coming to the Jedi, and I know you love her tremendously. But if you were to compare the two, I'm sure I would be right in saying that you place your mother over Obi-Wan in your heart." Anakin suddenly blushed from embarrassment, he knew she spoke the truth, but was ashamed all the same. "But the emotion is still the same and as strong, you can't help feeling the way you do because of the length of time you have spent with each one and the ties you have with them. Do you see why I am bringing this to your attention?"
Shaking his head slowly, Anakin stared at her blankly. "My point is Anakin, that your Master and MysAri have been friends longer than you've been alive. It's not that he loves either of you any differently, but some bonds are just a little stronger. Do you understand what I just told you?"
"I think so," he said tentatively.
"I hope so, because I do have one more thing to say." She met his eyes in order to make sure he was listening. "Have you considered talking to your Master, or even MysAri directly? They might be able to help you understand their relationship."
Anakin began to fidget, his mind racing again with memories. Too worked up to remain seated, Anakin abruptly rose and made his way to study the pictures along the wall. Most included Bant and other Jedi that Anakin didn't recognize. But his eyes did light on one that had familiar faces. Bant, Garen, Reeft, Siri, MysAri and a couple others were gathered around his Master, whom was resting in a bed here at the Ward. There was a smile on Obi-Wan's face but you could tell he was none too pleased. As his eyes rested on the estranged woman who entangled his thoughts he pointed out, "I think I know a little about how Master MysAri feels. It's Master Obi-Wan that still has me reeling."
Returning to scrutinize the photo, Anakin blinked a couple of times in an attempt to clear his vision, he thought he must have stared too hard and created a duplicate image. When the problem didn't correct, he realized that there were two identical people in the holo. Without thinking, he asked, "Who's that?" Not knowing to whom he was referring, Bant drew up behind him. As she approached, he pointed at the echoed reflection, "Her?"
Recognizing the person immediately, Bant informed with a hint of sorrow, "That's MysAri's twin sister, MiraCyn."
Absently he added, "I don't remember meeting her."
"No, I doubt you would, she passed into the Force about six years ago," the healer explained.
For a second time, Anakin flushed, as he identified his impertinent behaviour. Maybe there was more to MysAri than I previously thought. Thoughtfully, he remarked, "I don't even remember them mentioning her before."
"They probably wouldn't. It was a dark time for all of them after that awful mission. Neither Obi nor Mys were able to talk to each other until Master Qui-Gon passed. Now I've noticed that they avoid the topic if possible." She surmised.
"How did she die?" It was an innocent question, but Anakin could feel the Calamarian tense for a moment.
"She died on a mission. That's all the information I can give you." Bant moved back toward her chair to remove herself from that subject. Anakin lingered for a while longer, simply trying to comprehend what could have caused such a rift. Bant continued to watch him for some minutes before revisiting the boy's earlier concern.
"Do you want my honest opinion, Anakin?" She paused waiting for his indication of acceptance, when he turned his full attention towards her, she continued. "Have you not thought that, maybe the reason you're so confused is because Obi-Wan, himself, is unsure of his own emotions?"
Until that moment she asked the question, the thought never crossed his mind. Now that the query had been posed, Anakin realized how valid the question was. Perhaps I should go and talk with Master. It's possible in my need to learn the truth; I can help him discover it for himself.
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Reviews? Please? Is this really that bad? Just say 'hi' to let me know your out there. Pretty please with Obi on top?! Well, I hope you enjoyed thanks.