grab-ur-lightsaber - Well, thanks for the offer, but I think I'll live. I wish more people reviewed this story too, but you just have to accept the ups and downs of writing and posting. It seems like it's a lull right now in feedback at both sites. I'm doing my best not to let it bother me, so keep your fingers crossed. I'm working on this story again so we'll see what happens. ;)

Anyway, here's the next chap. Enjoy!

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Obi-Wan sat with MysAri for a while longer before maneuvering himself out from beside her. Gently repositioning her, he did his best to make her comfortable. Satisfied, he picked up the two data pads and sat in one of the chairs to begin reviewing the contents. Briefly he scanned the pad containing Ona Nobis' history. Swoop race results, latest Bounties and various other minor activities did not reveal much. Instead, he accessed the mission reports.

Sighing, he delved into the summaries, in reality, he could only wish they were summaries, since most reports were long and droll. He could not recall any Jedi that enjoyed composing such epics. Quite often Masters would have their Padawans help out so that they were not the only ones stuck writing them. Starting his search with the missions from a year ago, Obi-Wan barely began reading when his eyelids tried closing on him. Fighting to remain alert, he had not realized how tired he had become. Obi- Wan was so concentrated on all the events that had taken place over the past day or so, he neglected to take time out for himself.

At the moment, his body was winning the battle against his mind with little resistance. Exhaustion worming its way through him, Obi-Wan did not even notice the presence watching him. "Master?" Anakin asked quietly. Obi- Wan glanced up to find his apprentice and he finally realized how much he needed to sleep.

"Anakin? I didn't hear you," the Jedi admitted hesitantly.

Anakin could see the drawn features of his mentor and knew now was not the time for a lengthy discussion. Instead, he suggested, "Master, you should get some rest. I can stay with Master MysAri until you return."

"Maybe you're right," Obi-Wan said sheepishly as he began to rise. He stole one more look at his friend before exiting. As he reached the door he paused to regard his charge, "You will inform me of any changes in her condition, won't you." It was more of a statement than a question, but Anakin nodded all the same. And then, tired as he was Obi-Wan smiled and spoke, "Thank you, Padawan," then turned and left.

Anakin stood for a moment staring at the door. The apprentice noted, the turmoil within the man was still present, but dulled by weariness that overtook him. Anakin so wished he could help his Master, but knew it would be some time before he could draw out the man's emotions. Sighing, he was about to recline in the seat recently vacated by Obi-wan, when he was startled.

"I'm glad you showed up," MysAri confided softly. "Otherwise, I think he would have stayed there fighting to stay awake all day." A gentle smile crossed her features. "Thank you," she added.

"He needed it," Anakin replied absently. He remained standing and an awkward silence fell between them. At length, Anakin came to stand beside her bed and questioned, "Shouldn't you be resting also?"

"I was for a while, until he moved to the chair. Then I couldn't get back to sleep." She explained and then attempted to resituate herself to look at the Padawan better. "It was very kind of you to stay here with me."

Anakin gave her a sideways glance, "I did it for him."

"I know," MysAri paused examining the youth and then added, "We all do what we can for him."

"I didn't." Quickly, Anakin tried to cover his callous behaviour, but she cut him off.

"It's alright, I'm not offended. I know you and I have not always seen eye to eye, but I also know that there's nothing we wouldn't do to help Obi- Wan." She watched him as he averted his eyes to the edge of the bed. His fingers twitched lightly and she could see his muscles tensing, yet was amazed to find that he seemed calm through the Force. Deciding to follow her instinct she asked, "Is there something wrong, Anakin?"

At first the youth did nothing more than turn away from her, and MysAri thought she had already lost him before she was able to find out what was wrong. At last he said, "Yes." Frantically, he searched for the best way to begin but could not find one.

MysAri knew what could possibly be bothering the Padawan and hoped her prompt would help guide him in his feelings to allow her to help. "This has to deal with your Master and me, doesn't it?"

Anakin whirled around to face her, his face appeared desolate yet full of raging energy that wanted to explode. Confusion evident in his demeanor, he nodded. Finally able to speak, he said, "I'm just so confused."

"What about?"

"Obviously, there's something between you two, more than just being friends, but I don't know why you two don't act upon it?" One of his many frustrations surfaced.

"Anakin, I'm sure in at least one of your classes there was a discussion about Jedi and relationships, was there not?" She paused for his nod, "Then you know that it is not something the Jedi are inclined to do. We have given and pledged our lives to the service of others. Although it is not forbidden completely, it is expressed that we do not enter into such things."

"But, if you feel so strongly about each other, then why not break the rules? I'm sure it's been done before. You might even be able to go on missions together." Anakin spoke hurriedly, he so desperately wanted to understand this way of thinking. But MysAri's reaction threw him further into the chaos of his confusion.

Tears brimmed in her eyes and she took in a slow calming breath before trying to speak again, "In order to understand, I would have to take you back in time. A time even before I knew your Master, although he was not completely unknown to me or any other initiate for that matter."

Sighing she continued, "Obi-Wan has always been in search for Qui-Gon's approval. And as I have mentioned to you before, there were two people that could deflect that approval from him. One was Xanatos, Qui-Gon's fallen apprentice, and the other was Tahl, the Jedi Qui-Gon loved. Obi-Wan was finally able to step out from under Xanatos' shadow, but Tahl was another matter all together. I don't think Obi-Wan ever forgave himself, even now. The first time he encountered Qui-Gon's desire for Tahl was on the mission to Melida/Daan. That was where Obi-Wan gave up being a Jedi because his Master had the hidden need to place another Jedi over the greater good. Although, no one ever explained that to Obi back then and he still bears the scar on his heart.

"His choice was not the mistake in that mission, it was Qui-Gon's. Qui-Gon allowed his emotions to dictate his actions. I understand that they were sent solely to rescue Tahl, they should not have forgotten that the Jedi were originally requested to settle the issues between the three parties warring on that planet. Obi-Wan should not have been forced to make that choice. He was too young and inexperienced to decide such a life-altering path. Qui-Gon has on many occasions gone against the rules or wishes of the Council in order to bring peace. In that moment he failed Obi-Wan for the sake of a fellow Jedi. The entire situation could have been handled differently, if Qui-Gon simply took a moment to review the situation. But he didn't want to, and so Obi-Wan has been punished for his mistake." She took a breath and tried to collect her thoughts. There was so much more to say, but she was finding it increasingly difficult to get breath and speak.

Anakin listened to it all, but could not understand why this was relevant. He watched her as she concentrated for a few moments.

She continued, "The second time they encountered these emotions was when Tahl left to help some old friends. She went alone, and that too had caused some friction for Obi-Wan as he and Bant were put at odds by that decision. Bant was able to forgive Obi-Wan over time, but I know he has not forgiven himself. Qui-Gon broke off a training exercise that Masters and Padawans do in order to strengthen their Bond. He had been having disturbing nightmares that warned him of a possible danger to her life. He feared the thought of loosing Tahl and rushed back on instinct to find her. On their return to the Temple they learned that she had already been on a dangerous mission and had not heard from her in a while. Eventually, they found themselves on New Apsolon assisting Tahl with her mission. When Tahl was kidnapped, Qui-Gon dragged Obi-Wan across the planet in search of his beloved, and ignored the needs of his Padawan. Qui-Gon drove him to near exhaustion before realizing a little of what he was doing.

"I believe what was the most shocking was that Qui-Gon was about to abandon Obi again. He went on ahead continuing his search when a village needed their help. Qui-Gon came to his senses too late, as the time spent in arguing had already taken its toll. The entire village was wiped out by the time they returned except for the one individual that went to find them. Obi-Wan only described the incidence once and I will not ask him again. It was too horrific for even me to recount. And then when they found Tahl, she was near death. Blame could be handed out equally but I know who bore most of it. At the moment of her death, Obi-Wan felt the rage that coursed through his Master as well as the immense pain and sorrow. Qui-Gon sought revenge and we almost lost him to it. But he slowly returned to the right path.

"When I first met Obi, we were being held captive. When he said his name, I knew that there was hope for us. Yet his guilt was evident during the discussions that were used to try and re-educate us. That's when I first came to care for him, because I could not understand how one only a few years older than myself could be forced to carry the weight of such despair and guilt. Over the years I came to understand how and why he did. As a result, I also came to a decision." Stopping, she closed her eyes and a tear escaped. She did not have the strength to wipe it away and let it take its course down her cheek.

Anakin waited in anticipation. He could sense that what she revealed next was the answer to his most pressing question. Without realizing it, he leaned in closer to hear her every word.

"I decided that I would not put him through that." Her voice hitched as she fought to maintain composure, never opening her eyes. "I did not want him to suffer as Qui-Gon had suffered when Tahl died. I wanted to spare him from that pain." Tears flowed freely as her remaining strength dwindled away. She began to talk more to herself than to Anakin now, but he listened all the same. "I didn't want him to deal with this. Didn't want him to know what was happening to me. Couldn't bare the thought of his guilt. I'm so sorry. So sorry." She cried as she pleaded softly with his absent Master. Gradually, her quiet sobs stilled as she drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Convinced she was soundly asleep, he moved to occupy that chair he had wanted to sit in earlier and gathered his thoughts. He did not receive all the answers to his questions but determined this was a good start.

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