Disclaimer: I don't own Hamtaro and I'm not making any money off this, so stop calling me at 3 AM you inconsiderate jerk! Oh wait, you're not the tele-marketer... My bad.
A Very Hamtaro Satire
By flash_fox
Episode 2: Hamtaro's Guitar
(Hamtaro and Laura wake to the alarm which now resides in the basement.)
Laura: (yawn) Another day to pretend I enjoy school...
Hamtaro: (Yawn) I hope she is over that worm obsession...
Laura: Don't worry, I am.
Hamtaro: Heke?
Laura: Nothing, I didn't hear you say anything. (leaves the room singing) Nobody loves me, Everybody hates me, I'm ganna eat some worms.
Hamtaro: (sweat drop. Then he heads for the hole in the wall and goes down the drain pipe. He slides into something black in hairy. He lands on Brandy with the thing.) What are you?
The thing: I'm the itsy bitsy spider, who else? (climbs back up the rain pipe.)
Jingle: (Sings out of tune) What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk away?
Hamtaro: Yes (Stands up and begins to walk away.)
Jingle: Wait Hamtaco!
Hamtaro: It's Hamtaro!
Jingle: Changed your name again? I dig that. Well any ways, I'm going through a not yet mid-life crisis.
Hamtaro: Heke?
Jingle: I'm becoming a rapper, I want you to have my guitar.
Hamtaro: Heke?
Jingle: (hands it to Hamtaro and runs off.)
Hamtaro: hmmm... (plays it) Ooooh!
(All the Ham-hams except Hamtaro and Cappy is at the clubhouse.)
Cappy: (Runs into he clubhouse. He is very excited.)
Boss: Why are you so excited?
Cappy: I think I'm in love!
Boss: Oh yeah? Who you are in love with?
Cappy: Her name is Lady Magnus Prime!
Boss: That's an odd name...
Bijou: I know of her.
Boss: You do?
Bijou: Oh yeah! She reviews my best works!
Boss: What?
Oxnard: How do you know it's a girl?
Cappy: Dude, I'm straight...
Bijou: Her name is Lady Magnus Prime...
Oxnard: So?
Boss: So who is this Lady Magnus Prime?
(Hamtaro enters the clubhouse, he sports Jingle's guitar.)
Bijou: (Flirtous) Oh Hamtaro, Lady Magnus Prime think we could be a perfect couple!
Boss: Who's Lady Magnus Prime? Wait... you were just flirting with him!
Bijou: uh... no...
Boss: Better not.
Hamtaro: (Starts to play guitar) Hey look! I can do country!
(Everyone falls over.)
Pashmina: I'm going to Lady Magnus Prime's house.
Boss: Who is Lady Magnus Prime!
(Pashmina goes out the door.)
Hamtaro: I can now be a rock star!
Howdy: Why would you want to be a star made of rock?
Everyone except Howdy: (sweat drop)
Hamtaro: (Plays Elvis' "Burning Love")
Bijou: Ooooh! I love this song!
Boss: (devious smile. Starts to sing with Hamtaro.)
Stan: Geeze... I can't take that! I'm going off to hit on Lady Magnus Prime. (runs out the door)
Cappy: Hey that's my girl! (Chases after)
Boss: Who's Lady Magnus Prime!?
Hamtaro: (singing) I feel my temperature rising!
Meanwhile...
Laura: Hey Kana! I got a new book!
Kana: Yeah? What is it?
Laura: It's called "One Fine Day" by Lady Magnus Prime.
Boss: Who's Lady Magnus Prime!?
Laura: Who was that?
Kana: Who knows?
Script Writer: I do!
Laura: Shut up...
Travis: Hey Laura!
Laura: (Blushes) hi...
Travis: Hey Laura!
Laura: Hi
Travis: Hey Laura!
Laura: Hey
Travis: Hey Laura!
Laura: ...
Travis: Hey Laura! (Eye pops out, smoke comes out of his head.)
Laura: ...
Kana: Wow, he's a robot! I always thought he was too perfect...
Laura: So that means I was in love with a robot this time?
Kana: Hey, see it this way, now you can honestly say you love technology.
Laura: I could be a technician!
Kana: That's so cool!
Later in the club house...
Hamtaro: Thank you, thank you very much.
Stan: Geeze... he's only doing it to get some...
Sandy: Watch your mouth stan!
Stan: That's it! Hamtaro, I challenge you to a duel!
Hamtaro: Heke?
Stan: You heard me! Your guitar, against mine. (whips out a guitar everyone gasps.)
Hamtaro: I except!
(Hamtaro and Stan begin to jam.)
Cappy: Wow, look at them go!
20 Minutes Later...
Stan: Geeze... this is intense... (faints)
Hamtaro: Yeah! (smashes guitar on floor.) Oops. Oh well, no more of that habit.
Jingle: (Walks in the room.) Hey, I'm out of the not so mid-life crisis. I would like my guitar back. (sees it) Ack!
Hamtaro: Uh oh...
Later in Laura's room...
Laura: Hamtaro! Are you ready for journal time?
Hamtaro: (has bruises all over him.)
Laura: Oh crap... Mom! Hamtaro got in a fight with a wonderer again!
Hamtaro: doh...
Dedicated to Lady Magnus Prime who reviewed most of my recent stories. And note to Lady Magnus: Please don't harm me...
Boss: Who is Lady Magnus Prime?!