Hello people this is my first one. I hope you like it. just so you know,
I'm a die hard Sirius fan and I'm still grieving. so I hope you don't mind
the manifestation of my depression. I hope you're grieving too.(I'm not
sure if that's a good thing though) oh yeah and, um, I don't go for weird
pairings so you don't have to worry much. please reply.
Prologue
Harry sat unmoving. The room was dark, old, dusty, but he didn't mind, he didn't even care. He closed his eyes.
"This was where he used to sit," he thought as his heart constricted.
He was in Sirius' room--- or should he say used to be his room. He looked around still not moving. He sighed remembering again. Everything seemed to happen so fast that he had to stop and take time to remember where he was and why he was there. Sometimes he wished he'd just disappear, fade... fade into black... black... Sometimes he wished he'd just wake up from a long, long, sleep, into the real world, into the place where Sirius still walked, talked, smiled, breathed...lived but every time he seemed to just wake up into a nightmare of when Sirius was gone, into the misery of now.
Everything went past him with such speed; all he remembered was that he spent two weeks of his summer with the Dursleys. None of the long, excruciating waits he used to have when he already wanted to go to Hogwarts but had more than a month before September. The excitement and thrill of having to leave the Dursleys never did sink in...Or was it the fact that living with them never did, leaving Hogwarts? No, or was it... no, he had to stop. He wasn't going through it again.
He was suffering from depression, or at least that was what the muggle psychologist told him. The Dursleys brought him to one, because he wont eat, sleep and even leave his room anymore and they were worried his weird friends would come after them if something happened to him. He picked up the pieces of his torn thoughts and forced himself to think happy thoughts like Hermione suggested.
"Okay, happy thoughts, let's see... at least I'm not with the Dursleys anymore...or...I'll be back at Hogwarts anytime soon...hmmm... at least he wasn't band from quidditch anymore," he smiled at this thought. "At least I've got firebolt back...yes, real good thoughts... Cho? Ugh! Okay end of good thoughts..." he stood up and walked towards the pile of stuff at the far end of the room, he was separating the useful stuff from the junk.
He knelt beside it and surveyed it. Something caught his attention; there was a chest underneath everything. He pulled it out and winced when the rest fell with a loud crash. He dusted it and wiped it clean with his robe. It was black all over and silver in the corners. He flipped it and found no keyhole. He put it down and brought out his wand.
"Alohomora!" he whispered. Nothing happened. He held it and shook it. He looked at it's bottom and found marauders engraved on it with golden designs around it. He grinned and put it on the floor.
"What the heck... I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he heard it unlock and jerk open. His eyebrows arched. He scanned the items. Books, parchments, quills... nothing out of the ordinary. He reached for one of the books. It was dark green, leather bound and light. It was labeled "Yll Evins". He shrugged and put it back. He picked up the other one. It was black and leather bound with no inscriptions in it. Something fell out of it. He picked it up and pocketed it as he was startled by knocks on the door.
"Harry dear, dinner," called Mrs. Weasly.
"Uh, yeah, coming..." he called out as he put the book back in and closed it shut. He grabbed it and walked towards the door with the chest in arms. He walked out of the room and entered his room. He tossed the chest inside his trunk and left.
"Harry?" Mrs. Weasly called once more.
"Coming!" he walked downstairs.
London
"Stay away from me. why are you following me?"
"What, little miss perfect afraid of us? Afraid we'd ruin your perfect hair? Oh, I'm sorry, did I cause you to adjust your ever so perfect schedule?"
"Shut up and get a life, stop following me,"
"Oooh, I think we upset her, she's gonna run to that brainless boyfriend of hers,"
"I'm shaking in fear! Where do we hide?"
"Go away! Look for some kid who'd be willing to play hide end seek with you. though I really doubt you will."
"I'd watch my mouth if I were you freak!"
"Are you threatening me? Big bullies now afraid of poor, little miss perfect. I'm shuddering."
"Megalliera!" the two unknown yet familiar voices came. Pain ran through her face. She screamed in pain and agony and fell on her knees as cold laughter seeped through her veins. Then as she thought she couldn't stand the pain anymore, everything eased back to nothing. Everything turned black.
"I'll wait for you at the usual," Whispered a low and soothing voice as he stepped to walk away and grin at her.
"Wait, don't go, please stay with me, I'm scared, they're trying to hurt me." she came.
"Don't be, I'm here, I'll always be here, waiting." the figure embraced her.
She shifted her position and snuggled lower into the warmth of her blankets. she could hear the screaming again. It wasn't hers, she knew because she felt no pain. and yet the screaming came louder than before. It wouldn't stop. She moved and used her pillow as a shield against the sound but the screaming was as loud if not louder than it had been. She shifted once more and caught a glimpse of something that caused her heart to thunder,7:23 it said and it was blinking. She shot out of bed instantly. The remnants of the dream she struggled to keep with her for a time now quickly forgotten as panic flooded her.
"Seven twenty three???!!! Oh crap, now you did it Cerrisse, now you've gotten yourself on trouble!!" she threw her pillow at the alarm clock shutting it off and maybe, oh please let it happen, destroy it completely. "There weren't anybody screaming, it was the alarm clock screaming... dammit, I want my prince back!!!" If there was something she hated so much, it were alarm clocks. She ran around her room and grabbed her bathrobe and skipped around trying to wear her bunny slippers. She ran out the room towards the bathroom.
"Cyris, get up, we'll be late!" She knocked loudly on the door and rushed off into the bathroom. She hopped into the tub and got the water running. She left the hot water alone deliberately, wanting the cold water to refresh her and wake her.
It was one of those dreams again. The one that always kept her awake as a child. She never grew out of it but learned to deal with it. At least she didn't wake up screaming anymore and at least now she was able to sleep. She always had these dreams, of people shouting at her and causing her pain, then when it seemed like she couldn't take no more, her prince would show up and tell her that he was waiting for her at their usual place then say goodbye and leave her to broad and dream all over again. Same two voices that made her blood freeze of fear and curdle with anger. Then there was one soothing and calm voice with a hint of playfulness that made her lightheaded and happy. She sighed. Usually after each dream, she'd feel uneasy. She always had the need to rush. The feeling of sadness and grief comes with it and makes her feel like she was supposed to be somewhere all the time. Somewhere far away, somewhere to where he was. And this time is not an exception.
She stepped out of the bathroom and knocked on Cyris' room again.
She went down and into the kitchen still in her bathrobe. She pressed the coffee maker into action and walked over to the fridge and brought out a milk carton. She laid it on the counter and reached for the cereal box. She made some toast then sat down as the sunlight made its way inside. She heard a bark from behind.
"Hello there! Ah, you brought me the paper, good boy!" she smiled at the black Labrador and scratched it's head.
"Well of course he'll bring in the paper, that's his job, he's a dog for crying out loud," came a groggy voice from behind.
"Good morning too ever dearest sister... somebody is awfully grouchy today" Cerrisse gave the dog the toast he's been eying and spared her sister a glance.
"Try being forced out of bed at 7:30am on a stupid Saturday and let's see if you wont be grouchy, nice dog," Cyris said sarcastically.
"What's wrong with Snuffles?"
"What that things got a name? Why on Earth would one name a dog Fluffy?"
"Snuffles,"
"Snuffles anyway? whatever, i mean hello, how girly can that get? You might as well name the thing Fifi for Pete's sake!" she buttered a toast.
"Oh get a life, I happen to like the name okay? It reminds me of someone, something i should know, and one more thing, Fifi isn't that bad, my secretary's name is Fifi!" she said as the coffeemaker gave a beep.
"Oh, for the love of--- coffee!" Cyris ran to the counter and poured herself a mug. She walked back and as she brought the mug to her lips said "Somebody was screaming again last night," she began.
"I couldn'y sleep well...Cyris, I really should... I think I should be somewhere else, it's not that I don't like it here but, I feel incomplete, like something is missing," "Oh, it's that September 10 sickness of yours again, you've been having that, for the past what, five, six, ten years you've been here with us..."
"Yes it's always been there eversince I woke up from that coma, and it's always been worst on this day," she sighed.
Cyris walked towards her and embraced her. This was her adopted sister. Her father found her wounded and unconcious on a foot of a mountain in one of his exibitions and decided to adopt her. This was Lana Cerrisse Blake, a beautiful face with a blank yesterday, kind and surprisingly lovable, intelligent, succesful and incomplete... with no key to her past but dreams, dreams that caused her pain and a lot of sleepless nights.
~end of prologue~
Well that was the prologue, I hope you liked it and I hope it intrigued you guys. Please reply... anything would do, even a simple smiley will make me smile... Youko(",)
Prologue
Harry sat unmoving. The room was dark, old, dusty, but he didn't mind, he didn't even care. He closed his eyes.
"This was where he used to sit," he thought as his heart constricted.
He was in Sirius' room--- or should he say used to be his room. He looked around still not moving. He sighed remembering again. Everything seemed to happen so fast that he had to stop and take time to remember where he was and why he was there. Sometimes he wished he'd just disappear, fade... fade into black... black... Sometimes he wished he'd just wake up from a long, long, sleep, into the real world, into the place where Sirius still walked, talked, smiled, breathed...lived but every time he seemed to just wake up into a nightmare of when Sirius was gone, into the misery of now.
Everything went past him with such speed; all he remembered was that he spent two weeks of his summer with the Dursleys. None of the long, excruciating waits he used to have when he already wanted to go to Hogwarts but had more than a month before September. The excitement and thrill of having to leave the Dursleys never did sink in...Or was it the fact that living with them never did, leaving Hogwarts? No, or was it... no, he had to stop. He wasn't going through it again.
He was suffering from depression, or at least that was what the muggle psychologist told him. The Dursleys brought him to one, because he wont eat, sleep and even leave his room anymore and they were worried his weird friends would come after them if something happened to him. He picked up the pieces of his torn thoughts and forced himself to think happy thoughts like Hermione suggested.
"Okay, happy thoughts, let's see... at least I'm not with the Dursleys anymore...or...I'll be back at Hogwarts anytime soon...hmmm... at least he wasn't band from quidditch anymore," he smiled at this thought. "At least I've got firebolt back...yes, real good thoughts... Cho? Ugh! Okay end of good thoughts..." he stood up and walked towards the pile of stuff at the far end of the room, he was separating the useful stuff from the junk.
He knelt beside it and surveyed it. Something caught his attention; there was a chest underneath everything. He pulled it out and winced when the rest fell with a loud crash. He dusted it and wiped it clean with his robe. It was black all over and silver in the corners. He flipped it and found no keyhole. He put it down and brought out his wand.
"Alohomora!" he whispered. Nothing happened. He held it and shook it. He looked at it's bottom and found marauders engraved on it with golden designs around it. He grinned and put it on the floor.
"What the heck... I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he heard it unlock and jerk open. His eyebrows arched. He scanned the items. Books, parchments, quills... nothing out of the ordinary. He reached for one of the books. It was dark green, leather bound and light. It was labeled "Yll Evins". He shrugged and put it back. He picked up the other one. It was black and leather bound with no inscriptions in it. Something fell out of it. He picked it up and pocketed it as he was startled by knocks on the door.
"Harry dear, dinner," called Mrs. Weasly.
"Uh, yeah, coming..." he called out as he put the book back in and closed it shut. He grabbed it and walked towards the door with the chest in arms. He walked out of the room and entered his room. He tossed the chest inside his trunk and left.
"Harry?" Mrs. Weasly called once more.
"Coming!" he walked downstairs.
London
"Stay away from me. why are you following me?"
"What, little miss perfect afraid of us? Afraid we'd ruin your perfect hair? Oh, I'm sorry, did I cause you to adjust your ever so perfect schedule?"
"Shut up and get a life, stop following me,"
"Oooh, I think we upset her, she's gonna run to that brainless boyfriend of hers,"
"I'm shaking in fear! Where do we hide?"
"Go away! Look for some kid who'd be willing to play hide end seek with you. though I really doubt you will."
"I'd watch my mouth if I were you freak!"
"Are you threatening me? Big bullies now afraid of poor, little miss perfect. I'm shuddering."
"Megalliera!" the two unknown yet familiar voices came. Pain ran through her face. She screamed in pain and agony and fell on her knees as cold laughter seeped through her veins. Then as she thought she couldn't stand the pain anymore, everything eased back to nothing. Everything turned black.
"I'll wait for you at the usual," Whispered a low and soothing voice as he stepped to walk away and grin at her.
"Wait, don't go, please stay with me, I'm scared, they're trying to hurt me." she came.
"Don't be, I'm here, I'll always be here, waiting." the figure embraced her.
She shifted her position and snuggled lower into the warmth of her blankets. she could hear the screaming again. It wasn't hers, she knew because she felt no pain. and yet the screaming came louder than before. It wouldn't stop. She moved and used her pillow as a shield against the sound but the screaming was as loud if not louder than it had been. She shifted once more and caught a glimpse of something that caused her heart to thunder,7:23 it said and it was blinking. She shot out of bed instantly. The remnants of the dream she struggled to keep with her for a time now quickly forgotten as panic flooded her.
"Seven twenty three???!!! Oh crap, now you did it Cerrisse, now you've gotten yourself on trouble!!" she threw her pillow at the alarm clock shutting it off and maybe, oh please let it happen, destroy it completely. "There weren't anybody screaming, it was the alarm clock screaming... dammit, I want my prince back!!!" If there was something she hated so much, it were alarm clocks. She ran around her room and grabbed her bathrobe and skipped around trying to wear her bunny slippers. She ran out the room towards the bathroom.
"Cyris, get up, we'll be late!" She knocked loudly on the door and rushed off into the bathroom. She hopped into the tub and got the water running. She left the hot water alone deliberately, wanting the cold water to refresh her and wake her.
It was one of those dreams again. The one that always kept her awake as a child. She never grew out of it but learned to deal with it. At least she didn't wake up screaming anymore and at least now she was able to sleep. She always had these dreams, of people shouting at her and causing her pain, then when it seemed like she couldn't take no more, her prince would show up and tell her that he was waiting for her at their usual place then say goodbye and leave her to broad and dream all over again. Same two voices that made her blood freeze of fear and curdle with anger. Then there was one soothing and calm voice with a hint of playfulness that made her lightheaded and happy. She sighed. Usually after each dream, she'd feel uneasy. She always had the need to rush. The feeling of sadness and grief comes with it and makes her feel like she was supposed to be somewhere all the time. Somewhere far away, somewhere to where he was. And this time is not an exception.
She stepped out of the bathroom and knocked on Cyris' room again.
She went down and into the kitchen still in her bathrobe. She pressed the coffee maker into action and walked over to the fridge and brought out a milk carton. She laid it on the counter and reached for the cereal box. She made some toast then sat down as the sunlight made its way inside. She heard a bark from behind.
"Hello there! Ah, you brought me the paper, good boy!" she smiled at the black Labrador and scratched it's head.
"Well of course he'll bring in the paper, that's his job, he's a dog for crying out loud," came a groggy voice from behind.
"Good morning too ever dearest sister... somebody is awfully grouchy today" Cerrisse gave the dog the toast he's been eying and spared her sister a glance.
"Try being forced out of bed at 7:30am on a stupid Saturday and let's see if you wont be grouchy, nice dog," Cyris said sarcastically.
"What's wrong with Snuffles?"
"What that things got a name? Why on Earth would one name a dog Fluffy?"
"Snuffles,"
"Snuffles anyway? whatever, i mean hello, how girly can that get? You might as well name the thing Fifi for Pete's sake!" she buttered a toast.
"Oh get a life, I happen to like the name okay? It reminds me of someone, something i should know, and one more thing, Fifi isn't that bad, my secretary's name is Fifi!" she said as the coffeemaker gave a beep.
"Oh, for the love of--- coffee!" Cyris ran to the counter and poured herself a mug. She walked back and as she brought the mug to her lips said "Somebody was screaming again last night," she began.
"I couldn'y sleep well...Cyris, I really should... I think I should be somewhere else, it's not that I don't like it here but, I feel incomplete, like something is missing," "Oh, it's that September 10 sickness of yours again, you've been having that, for the past what, five, six, ten years you've been here with us..."
"Yes it's always been there eversince I woke up from that coma, and it's always been worst on this day," she sighed.
Cyris walked towards her and embraced her. This was her adopted sister. Her father found her wounded and unconcious on a foot of a mountain in one of his exibitions and decided to adopt her. This was Lana Cerrisse Blake, a beautiful face with a blank yesterday, kind and surprisingly lovable, intelligent, succesful and incomplete... with no key to her past but dreams, dreams that caused her pain and a lot of sleepless nights.
~end of prologue~
Well that was the prologue, I hope you liked it and I hope it intrigued you guys. Please reply... anything would do, even a simple smiley will make me smile... Youko(",)