Through Blind Eyes: Chapter 4
MKR doesn't belong to me, blah blah blah...
Okay, we still haven't answered the vital question: _did_ Clef kill all those people???
Yakh! I don't know! Read and find out...it's like OPOPOF, this fic is writing itself!
Now, please don't flame me if you find any of my religious questioning offensive. I am not trying to disprove or insult your or anybody's religion/system of beliefs! This is HIKARU, people! She's depressed for now!
~~~~~~~~~
Damn it. This whole world has gone insane! If there's a God, or some greater power, he or she has surely forgotten us. I mean, if this 'greater power' is the way it's taught to be, it/he/she 'cares' about us and takes care of our world. As if.
So if we're all alone, insignificant, infinitely small specks in the big picture of things, what's the point? Further more, if there _was_ a 'greater power', would they notice us? If we are like ants and this power is about the size of a human, would they be able to hear us? To answer our prayers? Surely blind faith cannot be fruitful.
Why am I, all of a sudden, thinking like this? I _have_ to stop! There's a war going on and I don't need to add to the frustration and confusion that already exist. Stop, Hikaru. Stop. This isn't you! You're a happy, bouncy kid with no worries at all! You can right the wrongs you've caused!
Yes, that's it. I can repent. I will lift this burden from my soul, cleanse myself...
In the middle of a war in which it's not clear who's wrong or right. When I consider the people who should be my enemies my friends. It's a sad and sorry day, and the skies share my pain, crying and screaming for the internal turmoil they are experiencing. They bellow their angry warnings, but on the inside, they're merely bitter tears and nothing more.
I am alone, utterly and finally alone. Alone with myself. Alone with love, alone with hate, alone with pain, alone with tears. I am all alone and swimming in a pool of anguish, drowning and unable to see. My vision clouds with what I presume are tears, but there's no sold proof as I lose myself to the world, lose myself to their pettiness and evilness.
I feel a sword pierce the centre of my throbbing, slowly breathing chest, and I don't even look up to see who the killer is. I don't care anymore.
"Sayoonara, hidoi no sekai-o..."
~~~~~~~~~
(Fuu POV, in case you don't figure it out)
"Hikaru-san! Where are you?" My own footsteps and my voice echo through my head and the halls. My friend is missing. Umi-san is helping me look for her, but there's a sadness that falls like a blanket, covering the whole castle, as if it itself is grieving.
"Hikaru-san!" Many more corridors later, I stare in silent horror at the sight before me. Here lies Hikaru, Magic Knight of Cephiro, stabbed through the heart. Blood leaks from her soaked fuku onto the already stained floor, and behind her is a pile of corpses which are rotting. I am completely unable to make sense of the situation, and so I am forced to merely let the tears spring forth, as if my eyes were exploding water balloons.
I wonder what could have happened, who killed these people, but more importantly, who killed Hikaru. Her glove isn't on her hand, so I know she didn't commit suicide unless she was poisoned. These corpses have probably been rotting for at least three Cephirian months, more time than we've been here, so if Hikaru-san didn't kill them, then...
Who did?
~~~~~~~~~
HIKARU POV
Wow. How enlightening that was! I just died. Now I'm here in Hell. Jesus, or whoever, I couldn't really see his/her face, told me I killed myself.
Shows how much they know about spying in on our world. _Anyhow_, all suicidals go to hell (sorry Lilybunny, if you ever read this, I couldn't resist the quote). So I'm stuck here, which I don't really understand.
I didn't kill myself, goddammit. Unless there's someone who is me and yet isn't. Maybe that's kinda like Nova, if you will. Lots and lots of people seem to like to clone me and I don't like it! Especially when they decide to KILL me!
For crying out loud! This is a vicious cycle of thought and I DON'T LIKE BEING IN A CYCLE! It's not nice! Everything's, well, circular!
But on a more...progressive train of thought, where are Umi-chan and Fuu-chan and what are they doing? And DID CLEF KILL ALL THOSE PEOPLE?
Was he once...me?
Wait, I hear a voice. Sounds a lot like...
Eagle? Eagle! I have forgotten completely about him, and now I'm sorry I did. His embrace is some small comfort to me, if that's possible. I don't know if I've been crying or not, or if you can cry in Hell, but all I know is that without the binds of society and the war, we make a damn cute couple.
I can't understand anything right now. I don't feel so depressed anymore, and it's a little eerie, like depression is a lurking shadow trying to catch me while I sleep. If I sleep anymore. Hell, Hell. What would we do without you?
Things are good right now - too good. Where's Nova? Where are all my problems? Have they just disappeared before my very dead eyes?
And where are the people I killed? They...they're probably in heaven, goody-goody two shoes. They don't understand that perfection is not, well....perfect. Making errors is what makes you you, not doing things right.
Silence creates music, hate creates love...contrast creates things and people. Without two different genders, there'd be no reproduction. Being different is actually a good thing, because it creates the good and the bad...
But what am I? I'm a murdered murderer, that's who I am. A randomly chosen person to murder a princess. How wonderful.
Did they have to choose me? Why not someone else? Bastards! They brought this upon me!
I hear a torn scream echo out of my mouth through the warm, muscular hardness of Eagle's torso. I feel my arms tighten painfully around his sadly slender waist, my eyes slant and begin to rain salty, angry drops. They bite at my face, determined to take out their pain on someone else, and I know I was right.
Depression is haunting me like some damned ghost.
~~~~~~~~
UMI POV
Why...why Hikaru? I know I've come off evil and unappreciative sometimes, but I never wanted this to happen...world, trust me on that. I'd never want something this bad to happen to my friend, one of my only two real friends.
I see the blood on the floor, hear the hard sobs Fuu is emitting, but it all doesn't register within me. It doesn't make sense. I always thought that if something like this happened, I'd have a warning, that I'd know....that she was going to go.
Did this have to happen? Why? Who killed her? Who killed them? What is this?
God dammit! What's wrong with this world? Why do they have to give us such annoying problems in a world where forensics probably wouldn't even work due to the abundance of magic? I hate this! Hikaru, did you have to go and die on us? Come back to life! Come back, damn you...Hikaru, come back...
~~~~~~~~
HIKARU POV
I hear the remains of a scream pierce my ear-drums, and I can vaguely make out the words.
'Hikaru, why did you have to go and die? Why?'
Doesn't she understand, dammit? It's not my fault! It's not my fault! I repeat, it's not my fault! Umi, you friggin bitch..
Why does depression do this to me? I love my friends, I don't hate them...
But like I said before, hate creates love. Without hate, there'd be no love...and hate and love walk hand in hand.
These horrible problems just lead me deeper into my hole. Now I realize I'm banging my head against Eagle's chest, and I quickly stop. I feel like a deviless, if that's even a word. I create so much pain, even when I'm dead?
Hell, why isn't anything ever easy? I know it's asking for a little much, but just once, I'd like the answer handed to me on a plate with whipped cream and a cherry. Just once, to see what it'd be like to not have to suffer, to kill and be killed, to solve a problem.
God, why did you choose me? O greater force, your highliness, why me? What's that? Who am I? Well, you should know, of all people. You created the problems that make me who I am now, so logically, YOU KNOW! Stop asking questions! Stop it! You're all haunting me! Stop!
My hands push inward on my head, and a sad insanity drives me to fates I hate. Why does it have to be me? Why not everybody else? Why can't I just be perfect and loved and all that other junk?
~~~~~~~~~
Whoo. Shit, I didn't even see that coming...
R/R people!
PK
MKR doesn't belong to me, blah blah blah...
Okay, we still haven't answered the vital question: _did_ Clef kill all those people???
Yakh! I don't know! Read and find out...it's like OPOPOF, this fic is writing itself!
Now, please don't flame me if you find any of my religious questioning offensive. I am not trying to disprove or insult your or anybody's religion/system of beliefs! This is HIKARU, people! She's depressed for now!
~~~~~~~~~
Damn it. This whole world has gone insane! If there's a God, or some greater power, he or she has surely forgotten us. I mean, if this 'greater power' is the way it's taught to be, it/he/she 'cares' about us and takes care of our world. As if.
So if we're all alone, insignificant, infinitely small specks in the big picture of things, what's the point? Further more, if there _was_ a 'greater power', would they notice us? If we are like ants and this power is about the size of a human, would they be able to hear us? To answer our prayers? Surely blind faith cannot be fruitful.
Why am I, all of a sudden, thinking like this? I _have_ to stop! There's a war going on and I don't need to add to the frustration and confusion that already exist. Stop, Hikaru. Stop. This isn't you! You're a happy, bouncy kid with no worries at all! You can right the wrongs you've caused!
Yes, that's it. I can repent. I will lift this burden from my soul, cleanse myself...
In the middle of a war in which it's not clear who's wrong or right. When I consider the people who should be my enemies my friends. It's a sad and sorry day, and the skies share my pain, crying and screaming for the internal turmoil they are experiencing. They bellow their angry warnings, but on the inside, they're merely bitter tears and nothing more.
I am alone, utterly and finally alone. Alone with myself. Alone with love, alone with hate, alone with pain, alone with tears. I am all alone and swimming in a pool of anguish, drowning and unable to see. My vision clouds with what I presume are tears, but there's no sold proof as I lose myself to the world, lose myself to their pettiness and evilness.
I feel a sword pierce the centre of my throbbing, slowly breathing chest, and I don't even look up to see who the killer is. I don't care anymore.
"Sayoonara, hidoi no sekai-o..."
~~~~~~~~~
(Fuu POV, in case you don't figure it out)
"Hikaru-san! Where are you?" My own footsteps and my voice echo through my head and the halls. My friend is missing. Umi-san is helping me look for her, but there's a sadness that falls like a blanket, covering the whole castle, as if it itself is grieving.
"Hikaru-san!" Many more corridors later, I stare in silent horror at the sight before me. Here lies Hikaru, Magic Knight of Cephiro, stabbed through the heart. Blood leaks from her soaked fuku onto the already stained floor, and behind her is a pile of corpses which are rotting. I am completely unable to make sense of the situation, and so I am forced to merely let the tears spring forth, as if my eyes were exploding water balloons.
I wonder what could have happened, who killed these people, but more importantly, who killed Hikaru. Her glove isn't on her hand, so I know she didn't commit suicide unless she was poisoned. These corpses have probably been rotting for at least three Cephirian months, more time than we've been here, so if Hikaru-san didn't kill them, then...
Who did?
~~~~~~~~~
HIKARU POV
Wow. How enlightening that was! I just died. Now I'm here in Hell. Jesus, or whoever, I couldn't really see his/her face, told me I killed myself.
Shows how much they know about spying in on our world. _Anyhow_, all suicidals go to hell (sorry Lilybunny, if you ever read this, I couldn't resist the quote). So I'm stuck here, which I don't really understand.
I didn't kill myself, goddammit. Unless there's someone who is me and yet isn't. Maybe that's kinda like Nova, if you will. Lots and lots of people seem to like to clone me and I don't like it! Especially when they decide to KILL me!
For crying out loud! This is a vicious cycle of thought and I DON'T LIKE BEING IN A CYCLE! It's not nice! Everything's, well, circular!
But on a more...progressive train of thought, where are Umi-chan and Fuu-chan and what are they doing? And DID CLEF KILL ALL THOSE PEOPLE?
Was he once...me?
Wait, I hear a voice. Sounds a lot like...
Eagle? Eagle! I have forgotten completely about him, and now I'm sorry I did. His embrace is some small comfort to me, if that's possible. I don't know if I've been crying or not, or if you can cry in Hell, but all I know is that without the binds of society and the war, we make a damn cute couple.
I can't understand anything right now. I don't feel so depressed anymore, and it's a little eerie, like depression is a lurking shadow trying to catch me while I sleep. If I sleep anymore. Hell, Hell. What would we do without you?
Things are good right now - too good. Where's Nova? Where are all my problems? Have they just disappeared before my very dead eyes?
And where are the people I killed? They...they're probably in heaven, goody-goody two shoes. They don't understand that perfection is not, well....perfect. Making errors is what makes you you, not doing things right.
Silence creates music, hate creates love...contrast creates things and people. Without two different genders, there'd be no reproduction. Being different is actually a good thing, because it creates the good and the bad...
But what am I? I'm a murdered murderer, that's who I am. A randomly chosen person to murder a princess. How wonderful.
Did they have to choose me? Why not someone else? Bastards! They brought this upon me!
I hear a torn scream echo out of my mouth through the warm, muscular hardness of Eagle's torso. I feel my arms tighten painfully around his sadly slender waist, my eyes slant and begin to rain salty, angry drops. They bite at my face, determined to take out their pain on someone else, and I know I was right.
Depression is haunting me like some damned ghost.
~~~~~~~~
UMI POV
Why...why Hikaru? I know I've come off evil and unappreciative sometimes, but I never wanted this to happen...world, trust me on that. I'd never want something this bad to happen to my friend, one of my only two real friends.
I see the blood on the floor, hear the hard sobs Fuu is emitting, but it all doesn't register within me. It doesn't make sense. I always thought that if something like this happened, I'd have a warning, that I'd know....that she was going to go.
Did this have to happen? Why? Who killed her? Who killed them? What is this?
God dammit! What's wrong with this world? Why do they have to give us such annoying problems in a world where forensics probably wouldn't even work due to the abundance of magic? I hate this! Hikaru, did you have to go and die on us? Come back to life! Come back, damn you...Hikaru, come back...
~~~~~~~~
HIKARU POV
I hear the remains of a scream pierce my ear-drums, and I can vaguely make out the words.
'Hikaru, why did you have to go and die? Why?'
Doesn't she understand, dammit? It's not my fault! It's not my fault! I repeat, it's not my fault! Umi, you friggin bitch..
Why does depression do this to me? I love my friends, I don't hate them...
But like I said before, hate creates love. Without hate, there'd be no love...and hate and love walk hand in hand.
These horrible problems just lead me deeper into my hole. Now I realize I'm banging my head against Eagle's chest, and I quickly stop. I feel like a deviless, if that's even a word. I create so much pain, even when I'm dead?
Hell, why isn't anything ever easy? I know it's asking for a little much, but just once, I'd like the answer handed to me on a plate with whipped cream and a cherry. Just once, to see what it'd be like to not have to suffer, to kill and be killed, to solve a problem.
God, why did you choose me? O greater force, your highliness, why me? What's that? Who am I? Well, you should know, of all people. You created the problems that make me who I am now, so logically, YOU KNOW! Stop asking questions! Stop it! You're all haunting me! Stop!
My hands push inward on my head, and a sad insanity drives me to fates I hate. Why does it have to be me? Why not everybody else? Why can't I just be perfect and loved and all that other junk?
~~~~~~~~~
Whoo. Shit, I didn't even see that coming...
R/R people!
PK