Disclaimer: I don't own Hamtaro and I'm not making any money off this. I wish I was, then a great reviewer would review my work and suggest me to a writer's academy where I shall pass the class. Then I'll write my own tv show about a ferret named Bob and a shrimp named Canteir where they go on insane adventures through the land of socks. After making a million dollars off that, I'll make a new show about identecal twins both named Yeller and they would battle an evil monster named "The Fairy". Oh don't let the name fool you, if you get on her bad side, she'll clobber you with a fairy dust attack. When that made me a trillion bucks, I'll sell the bucks to the nearest wildlife reserve and get a million for it. Then I make a show about german ninjas with french accents, they start a pizza food chain called "We've Got Rats". Aparently, that show gets cancelled cause the animal protection thing thought it was too cruel to serve rats on pizza. Then I spend all my money on Cow pie bingo where the chips are biodegratable. I go into a deep depression. Soon, I wanted to end it all, my English roomate found me dead with Toon Disney on the tv. "Good thing it was Hurculies" the English roomate will say "101 Dalmations the tv show would of been a slow death". Well I guess my main point and this is a round about way of saying this is I DON'T OWN HAMTARO!

A Very Hamtaro Satire
By flash_fox

Episode 4: TV Hamsters
(The alarm sounds off, Laura dosn't wake. The Alarm plays "Who Let the Dogs Out". Laura wakes and turns it off real fast.)
Laura: (yawns) Good Morning Hamtaro!
Hamtaro: Good Morning Laura!
Laura: Well I got to go to school so we can end this pointless introduction to an episode.
Hamtaro: I strongly agree.
Laura: (Dresses and leaves)
Hamtaro: Now my great excape that I do every morning! (Goes his ussaul route, but instead of landing on the pet dog, he lands into an empty Brandy Bottle.) Where is the real Brandy?

(Meanwhile...)
(Brandy is at a beach hotel posing for Lucky Dog dog treat comercial with six french poodles.)
Brandy: (In deep smooth accent) Do you really think I would sleep through an oportunity like this in the dog race episode? I was so faking it to get Boss and Oxnard out of there. (Eats a treat and smiles for the camera)

(Back at the clubhouse...)
Maxwell: (Holding remote, pointing how the club house got flooded in "The Clubhouse In Danger") and that's how the clubhouse was flooded.
Cappy: But who was the big guy with the sunglasses?
Boss: (wispers in Cappy's ear) He's the Mole
Cappy: Oh
Oxnard: Oh no! I lost another seed!
Pashmina: Not again...
Boss: This looks like a job for... (puts on detectives clothes) Matboss!
Stan: Oh no, not the Matlock rip off again...
Boss: (looks around the room from one spot) I don't see it from a distance...
Hamtaro: I see it!
Boss: You do?
Hamtaro: You're standing on it
Boss: (looks down) Oh so I am... I thought standing here was like a balancing act...
Oxnard: Oh Hamtaro! You found my seed! You're the greatest!!!
Hamtaro: It was nothing.
Cappy: Come on everybody, I'll make us some food!
Boss: You've got to be joking! I do all the cooking around here!
Cappy: I'm sick of your cooking, I want to cook!
(Boss and Cappy angry eye)
Maxwell: Come on guys, there is a better why to resolve this. You'll both cook for us and find out who's best at the same time!
Cappy and Boss: What is it?

(Meanwhile...)
Mr. Yoshi: Ok class. As you know, I hosted a play last night and one of the actors forgot a line while on set. So I spent the night at the jail for wacking him over the head with a 2 by 4 and I'm only here because I'm an excaped convict. Seeya class! (Jumps out the window).
Kana: now what are we going to do?
Laura: (Looks behind her. Notices the kid sitting behind who has a wierd dazed look on his face.) Hey, Kana, have you noticed this kid behind me?
Kana: Why yes, he's always had that wierd dazed look on him
Laura: Hello kid with wierd expression on face. (Grabs hand to shake it. Gasps) He's dead!
Kana: Gasp!
Travis: Gasp!
Flash_fox: Gasp!
(ferensic files theme plays)

(Meanwhile...)
Voice: One apon a time, cheif master Maxwell created a master kitchen, and he secretly choosen what he calls "The Iron Cheif Hams", an elite group of cheif hamsters. They will be challenged and those who defeat them shall go down in cheif history. Tonight Iron cheif Boss shall be challenged by Challenger Cappy.

Boss is a moderate tunnel digger who has been named field hamster of the year by himself twice which gained him must self-respect and self-fame, but he didn't discover his cooking talent until he discovered the ham hams. His works with the average sunflower seed gave him the name "Sunshiney Boss" which he dosn't like to be called. He collects all his ingredients himself.

Cappy lives in a pet shop where he learned the fine art of hamster treats. He is a master of anything made in any kind or pot. What? You didn't think he only used them for hats did ya? He is the king of the saucer, and he is treated like a king back in his nice little cage. But today, he'll meet his toughest challenge yet as he faces off with Boss.

Maxwell: (bites into acorn and smiles crazily)

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We'll be back after these comercial...

(Toucan Sam is reading when he is hit by a beam which turnsSam black & white.)
Sam: Oh no! I lost my colors!
Kids: Oh no!
Sam: Wait, now I can be a rapper and no one wil argue with me! (raps)
Kids: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Voice: FInd Sam's colors, for his kids sake
Kids: Help!

And now we're back... That was fast...
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Sandy: Looks like our master chiefs are so ready for the competition.
Howdy: There was an old ham name Cappy Mcgee, he went against Boss and he was crazy as he can be!
Sandy: Umm... Right... Looks like Maxwell is about to anounce what is today's ingredient ganna be.
Maxwell: (walks up to covered up platter. Pulled off the cover.) Peanuts.
Sandy: And the competition begins!

(Meanwhile...)
Laura: So, know who killed that kid?
Kana: No, I've checked everyone in school and still havn't found any clues.
Laura: It's only been 10 minutes...
Kana: I knew that...
Travis: I've solved the mystery!
Laura and Kana: You have?
Travis: He died of thinking to much last year, I looked it up.
Laura: If he died last year, then why is he still here?
Travis: The school board was lazy.
Kana: Wouldn't he have deteriated by now?
Travis: No, the air in the school which have radio active material have provented that from happening.
Laura: Wow, and that also explains why I'm growing a flipper.
Travis: Yep
Kana: That's so cool!

(Meanwhile...)
Sandy: Now it's time for the judges to taste the food.
(Pashmina, Bijou, Dexter, and Oxnard start tasting Cappy's food.)
Pashmina: Wow, this fried peanut is delishous! How did you get the flavor out so well?
Cappy: I fried it
Pashmina: Great strategy!
Bijou: This penut pizza is a wonderful mix of sweet and spice, Manufeque!
Cappy: Manu-what?
Dexter: This peanut cassaraul is excelent! I love how you use your own head hair as an ingrediant.
Cappy: I didn't...
Dexter: oh...
Oxnard: This honey roasted peanut is great!
Sandy: Next, the judges will taste Boss' food
(Pashmina, Bijou, Dexter, and Oxnard Start tasting Boss' food)
Boss: What do you think? Great huh?
Dexter: Boss, you don't seem to realize that you don't know how to cook...
Boss: Wait a second... Your right...
Sandy: All the votes are in.
Maxwell: (walks up to podiem) The winner is... Cappy!
Boss: What?!? I thought the Iron Chief also won?!?
Maxwell: aparently not.
Cappy: (Raises the roof)

(Later...)
Hamtaro: (Waiting in Laura's room) where is Laura?

(Meanwhile...)
Laura: Untie me! Let me go!
Mermaid King: Sorry my daughter, but the soon to be mermaid queen should get back to the ocean so you can marry a randomly selected prince. I only want the best for my daughter
Laura: I'm not a mermaid! I'm not your daughter!
Mermaid King: I'm not falling for that again!

Author's note: I shall make another TV Hamsters episode some day. Well anyways, I need your help this time. In your reveiw, name a common or uncommon Hamtaro belief, like who belongs with who, or why Snoozer is asleep, or why a hamster acts a certain way, any belief. You don't have to participate it this, it'll just help me with the next chapter. Thank you and have a nice day!