Weakest Link: Round 1

Note: Since you're supposedly watching live, you won't know who is the Weakest or Strongest Link unless Jenny says.

In the greenroom

Ash: At least you got $500, Pikachu.

Pikachu: yeah, but that was because I didn't win anything and they felt sorry for me.

Meowth: At leas' dey felt sorree fo' you. holds up check Offica Jenny didn' wanna gimme mine. She said I didn' desoive it.

Misty: Man! $5200! I just don't know what I'll do with all this money! Maybe I'll send it to my sisters and tell them to put it in the bank. Although I doubt that they will. They'll probably spend it on clothes and dolls. Maybe I'd better send it to somebody else instead. Hmmm...

Jessie: James, let's use the money you got to buy a huge Pokémon-stealing machine!

Ash/Misty/Brock/Pikachu: AHEM.

Jessie Looks around: Did I say that out loud? I meant, uh, Pokémon reeling machine! For...fishing!

Door bangs open and startles everyone

Jenny/Joy: WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

Misty: Is it worth giving us all heart attacks?

Jenny: Yes it is. We need three more people if we're going to play Weakest Link.

James: I thought you said it was syndicated, so it didn't matter?

Jenny: It does for this! We HAVE to have ten players, otherwise we can't play! And the curtain lifts in five minutes!

James: But doesn't Weakest Link have only six players, and at the most eight?

Jenny: QUIET MORTAL!

Phone rings

Joy: I'll get it! Picks up phone in greenroom Hello?...This is Nurse Joy...Who? Ash?...Certainly! Ash! It's your mom!

Ash: It is? Takes phone Hello?

Delia: Hi, honey! I saw you on TV!

Ash: You DID?

Delia: I sure did! And I came to town to visit!

Ash: That was fast.

Delia: So, right now I'm in the audience, and I'm using Gary's cell phone and--

Ash: Gary's got a cell phone??

Delia: Yes, he does! So I was--

Ash: Hey, Mom, could you do me a favor?

Delia: That depends, dear! What is it?

Ash: Could you play Weakest Link with us?

Delia: Sure, Ash!

Ash: Great! All you have to do is come to the greenroom--

Door opens and Delia is standing there with a cell phone

Delia: I think I found you!

Ash Hangs up phone: Yeah, you did.

Jenny: Great! Player #8!

Delia: If you all insist! Maybe I should return this cell phone to Gary--

Gary comes in: You're welcome, Ms. Ketchum!

Ash: GARY! What are you doing here?!

Gary cockily: I came with Grandpa and Ms. Ketchum and Tracey to watch you lose!

Ash: Watch me LOSE?! I oughta get up right now and...Tracey's here?

Tracey comes in: Yeah, we all wanted to see you live! Now what's this about needing more players?

Joy: Great! We have all ten players! Now, let's hurry! The curtain rises in thirty seconds!

Gary: Get ready to eat dust, Ashie Boy!

Ash fists clenched: Only in your dreams!

Jenny: HEY! NO FISTICUFFS!

Ash: What are those?

Jenny: Just remember not to do them. Okay people, let's roll! Claps hands The curtain's going up! GET IN YOUR PLACES SO WE CAN START!

All get in place

Jenny: Welcome everyone! Time to play Weakest Link!

Tracey: Oh, so THAT'S what we're playing!

Jenny: SHUSH!

Applause

Jenny: Now, anyway, let's meet our contestants!

Ash: I'm Ash Ketchum. I'm 11. I live in Pallet Town, and I'm a Pokémon trainer.

Misty: I'm Misty, I'm 12, I live in Cerulean City, and I'm a Water Pokémon trainer.

Brock: Brock. 14. Pewter City. Ladies ma--uh, Pokémon trainer.

Pikachu: I'm Pikachu, I'm three Pikachu years old, I live with Ash, and I'm an Electric Pokémon.

Delia: Delia Ketchum, thir--

James: OW! Something bit me!

Jenny: SHHH! Go ahead, Delia.

Delia: --Pallet Town, mother!

Jessie: I am the wonderful, beautiful Jessie at the age all attractive girls want to be at. I currently live on the street and am a member of Team Rocket!

James: James, OW! Oh, is that my lucky spike-edged bottle cap in my shoe?

Jenny: AHEM!

James: Oh, I live on the street too, and I'm a member of Team Rocket.

Meowth: Meowth, couldn' tell ya my age on da groun's dat it might incriminate me, I live in da street, and I am da best Pokémon Team Rockit has!

Gary: Juvenile show. Oh, is my mike on? Ahem. Gary Oak. 11. Pallet Town. Unbeatable Pokémon trainer.

Ash: Liar! You can be beaten! I have proof!

Jenny: QUIET! DON'T MAKE ME SAY SHUT UP!

Tracey: I'm Tracey Sketchit. I'm 14, I live in Pallet Town now, and I am a Pokémon observer and sketcher.

Jenny: All right. As you can see, there are seven spots on the money chain. $250, $500, $1,000, $2,500, $5,000, $7,500, and $10,000. Make it up to $10,000 and say Bank, and the round will automatically stop. THAT'S your goal, people. Now, let's start the first round. We'll start with Ash, since he's in the first spot. 2:00 on the clock.

Round begins

Jenny: Ash. How many towns in Kanto are named after colors?

Ash: Um, um...mumbles to himself 3?

Jenny: Right. Misty. How many Pokémon can you carry at one time?

Misty: Six!

Jenny: Correct. Brock. Technically, Electric-type attacks are useless against what type?

Brock: Ground.

Jenny: Yes. Pikachu. What does a Steelix evolve into?

Pikachu thinking hard: Uhhh, nothing!

Jenny: Right. Delia, what Water-type attack allows you to swim across water via a Water Pokémon?

Delia: Surf?

Jenny: Yup. Jessie--

Jessie: Save!

Jenny: What?

Jessie: Uh, I mean Bank!

Jenny Nods head: What is the most powerful Fire attack?

Jessie: Flamethrower?

Jenny: No, Fire Spin. James--

James: Bank!

Jenny: You have nothing TO Bank!

James: Oh. Oops.

Jenny sighs and rolls eyes: How many CITIES are there in Kanto?

James: Ummm...ten?

Jenny: No, seven. Meowth--

Joy: Time's up!

Jenny: What do ya know? Well, in that round, you guys Banked $5,000. That money goes to the next round, but two of you will not.

James waves arm: I have another question!

Jenny: NOW what?

James: You're only supposed to vote off one at a time!

Jenny: We are SYNDICATED! We fix the rules to make it faster! Now SHUT UP AND SUBMIT! And just vote, everyone.

Silence as everyone votes

Jenny: TIME UP! Now's let's see who turned on who...

Ash: I voted for Jessie and James.

Jessie: I knew you would, twerp! You're always looking for an excuse to make us blast off!

Jenny: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Misty: I voted for Jessie and James too.

Brock: Jessie and James.

Pikachu: Jessie and James.

Delia: It was a terribly hard decision to make. After all, who wants to be voted off? But I knew I had to pick somebody--

Jenny: Just tell us who you voted for.

Delia: Jessie and James.

Meowth: Jessie and James.

Jessie/James: WHAT?!

Jessie: YOU LITTLE TRAITOR! I OUGHT TO KILL YOU!

Jenny: Do I have to arrest you Team Rocket members?! Now, whom did you vote for, Jessie?

Jessie: Ash and Misty.

Ash: What for?!

Misty: Yeah, you guys were the ones who missed your questions!

Jessie: But we banked all the money you twerps have, now didn't we?

James: And besides, we can't vote for ourselves!

Jenny: James, who did you pick?

James: Jessie and--

Jessie whirls on James: WHAAAAT?!?! YOU ARE THE LOUSIEST EXCUSE FOR A PARTNER IN THE WORLD! JUST WAIT TILL WE GET OUT OF HERE!

Jenny: I HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO ARREST YOU, JESSIE, SO I SUGGEST YOU BE QUIET!

Jessie grumbling: Whatever. moves away from James

James: --And Ash.

Jenny: Gary?

Gary: Those losers Jessie and James.

Tracey: Yeah, that's who I voted for too.

Jessie: It's a conspiracy!

Jenny: No, it's common sense. Actually, everyone got it right. James was the Weakest Link, and Jessie was right behind him. So Jessie, James, with a unanimous decision, you're both the Weakest Links. Go sit in the audience.

Jessie: Next game, I get those twerps and make them pay!

Jenny pointing to empty chairs: GO!

Jessie and James go sit in audience

Jenny: Stay with us for Round Two of...the Weakest Link!...Boy I'm glad I don't have to wear all black and crack jokes!

Round Two next time! Please review, too!