Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this fic. Nope, none of them at all. If I didn't i would be rich which would be so cool!

Author's note: Some of the jokes are hard to catch the first time so be prepared.

A Very Hamtaro Satire
By Flash_fox

Chapter 9: The Magic Hambus
(Hamtaro wakes all of the sudden all sweaty. Feels forehead.)
Hamtaro: Phew Just a dream. Huh? Where's Laura? (Looks out the window, sees chimney with smoke coming out.) Shikaka lit the boiler already? How long have I been asleep? (Runs down stairs. He runs out the door and gets on his skateboard. Runs into Stan, Omar, and Stuckie.) Oh um hi guys!
Stan: I heard you weren't ganna include us in today's episode of the satire.
Hamtaro: Umm
Stuckie: Let's get him!
(They beam Hamtaro with a hamster treat, steal his Skateboard, and run off.)

(Meanwhile)
(Bijou is fending off gerbils using a slingshot. She pauses when she hears a screaming. She wakes in her cage. Her cellphone rings and she picks it up.)
Bijou: Like, hello!
Sandy: Hey Bijou!
Bijou: Hey Sandy, what's up?
Sandy: You must come to the clubhouse quick!
Bijou: Like whatever!

(Later at clubhouse)
(Bijou walks into the clubhouse)
Bijou: What's the problem Pashmina?
Pashmina: Come with me (They walk to another room)
Bijou: (Gasp)
(A bloated Oxnard sits in the middle of the room.)
Pashmina: Hamtaro smelled like a hamster treat and Oxnard was really hungry and the rest explains itself
Bijou: (Crying like crazy)
Oxnard: Hey I'm not that ugly

(Meanwhile)
(Laura and Kana are walking to school)
Laura and Kana: Hamtaro
If we work together it's much better
My best friend!
Travis: What's that song you're singin'? Sounds familiar.
Laura: (blushes) My hamster wrote it
Travis: If your hamster wrote it, then how do you know it?
Laura and Kana: (Sweat drop)
Travis: Hear about the sub today?
Kana: What happened to Mr. Yoshi?
Travis: He got fired from that incident with his wife and the broom closet.
Kana: Oh
Travis: I heard the sub's name is Mrs. Green.
Laura and Kana: Mrs. Green!?!
Laura: I'm scared I wish I had someone to hold me
Travis: Ummmm maybe next season See ya! (Runs off)
Laura: (think) not Mrs. Green
Kana: Isn't Mrs. Green the woman that was exiled from the town?
Laura: No, that's Mrs. Nevertobeseen.
Kana: Oh yeah, still dunno why she was exiled.
Laura: Yeah
Travis: Hi Kana
Laura: What are you doing here again?
Travis: Hi Kana
Kana: That's so cool!
Travis: Hi Kana
Kana: That's so cool!
Travis: Hi Kana
Kana: That's so cool!
Travis: Hi Kana
Kana: That's so cool!
Travis: Hi Kana
Kana: That's so cool!
Travis: Hi Kana
Kana: That's so cool!
Travis: Hi Kana
Kana: That's so cool!
Travis: Hi Kana
Kana: That's so cool!
Laura: Why do I hang out with you guys

(Meanwhile in Oxnard's stomach)
(Hamtaro awakens from unconsciousness)
Hamtaro: Where am I
Osmosis Jones: I'll tell you where you're not at, and that's my good side.
Hamtaro: Ah! Chris Rock!
Jackie Chan: Now now Jones, we must be nice to our animal friends.
Osmosis Jones: Smooth talking Jackie.
Jackie Chan: Good, our job is done. Now I must go home to Katy Chan, she's waiting for family game night to begin.

(Meanwhile at Jackie's house)
Katychan: He's late I hope he's sorry, because he's ganna be playing it.
Guy in costume of Sorry Pawn: He better get here, this suit is making me sweat.

(Meanwhile)
Osmosis Jones: Hello, Hamster.
Hamtaro: Huh?
Osmosis Jones: Do you speak-a any English.
Hamtaro: Huh?
Osmosis Jones: Do you understand what is coming out of my mouth?
(Stomach cramp accurs)
Osmosis Jones: Aaaah! Duck and cover!

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We'll be right back

Hamswap saleswoman: Hey there. Come on down to your local hamswap traveling vender to gain a price reduction of one sunflower seed! And we guarantee that you will get the best quality junk I mean items we have! See ya there!

Hamtaro: Hello I'm Hamtaro here to tell you about a possible new fic called Sitting Hams! Watch me, Bijou, Boss the Field hamster, and all my friends ride skateboards, mess up said skateboards, paint posters, mess up said posters, play acorn soccer. Actually we pretty much do everything but sit. Who named this fic any ways? Sitting Hams, coming late August only on fanfiction.net!
(Note, it's not official that I'll do this fic, but there is a good chance I will do it when I get back from my trip. Just hope someone wont steal the idea by the time I get back)

And we are back
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(Meanwhile in clubhouse)
(Everyone in room is ducking and covering because Oxnard's stomach is shaking the room.)
Oxnard: Sorry guys, it's been cramping today
Maxwell: Well, you better miss school today and stay in the other room till that clears up.
Oxnard: ok (Walks into other room hiding a smirk)
Cappy: (Rings bell) School time everyone in their seats!

(Meanwhile in the school room)
Maxwell: Ok, it's time for roll call! Mark Oxnard and Hamtaro absent on counts of illness and getting eaten alive.
Bijou: (Sniff)
Maxwell: Something wrong Bijou?
Bijou: Just wondering if this was the right perfume for today
Maxwell: Bijou!
Bijou: Bonjwa!
Maxwell: Spell it right next time Boss!
Boss: Present!
Maxwell: Bomber man!
Bomber Man: Yah
Maxwell: umm Boshi, Lord
Lord Boshi: I had a turtle once
Maxwell: Burnfist!
Burnfist: I like cheese

(20 minutes later)
Maxwell: Cappy!
Cappy: Present!

(21 minutes later)
Maxwell: Kirby!
Kirby: Puyo!
Maxwell: Captain Kirk!
Kirk: Star date 8976589. I'm in some sort of strange place where creatures gather to feast on strange sunflower seed shaped objects.
Maxwell: Riiiight.

(25 minutes later)
Maxwell: Pashmina!
Howdy: here!
Maxwell: No no, I called Pashmina
Howdy: uh I knew that

(35 minutes later)
Maxwell: Zyzzycianarian!
Zyzzycianarian: (Waves tentacles)
Maxwell: Well, that completes roll call. For today's class, we shall take a field trip in the magic ham bus to a location that I've scientifically choose using elements of excitement and thrill.

(Before at Maxwell's place)
Maxwell: (Throws dart at board covered with field trip ideas.) Wow, FF's advice is very helpful

(Back to Ham Ham underground school)
Maxwell: We are going to field trip into Oxnard's stomach!
Everyone: yay!

(Meanwhile in the room Oxnard is sleeping in)
(Sparkle sneaks in the room quietly)
Sparkle: Hamtaro just had to show me up in Pop Star, well I'll show him. I'll make sure he doesn't show me up on anymore episodes named after Kirby locations every again hahahahahaha!!!!!
Oxnard: (Rolls over) Pepper Sunflower seeds zuzuzu Pepper Sunflower seeds zuzuzu
Sparkle: (Snaps on blue gloves, mask, and Surgeon's coat. Takes out shot and ejects into Oxnard.)
Cappy: (Walks into room) Oxnard do you like your cappuccino with cream or Aaaah! Frankinfurger! I mean Sparkle!
Sparkle: (Dashes past and excapes.)
Boss: Who let her in? Thought we knew not to trust her after those two dream sequences.
Maxwell: No matter, you must go to the magic hambus immediately!
(The ham hams run out of the room. Sabu enters.)
Sabu: Don't worry Hamtaro old buddy, I'm here to help. (Gives Oxnard a shot, then leaves.)

To Be Continued

Author's note: Man... I was hoping to get more done than that... I have to go on a 21 day trip to Brittain and Ireland on the 16th and I was hoping to actually have this done by then but from the looks of things I won't get it done... I hope this will hold you guys over till I get back. Sorry for the inconvenience...