Revenge of the Straight Elf

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING.

Author's Notes: Oh my god! I can't believe how many people reviewed! You've inspired me to start writing the next chapter right away. You have no idea how happy you've made me!

Legolas: So happy, she gave me a lollipop for my good work! pulls out one of those huge lollipops that take 3 lifetimes to eat and starts eating it

Duo: So happy, she even gave me a lolli! resumes munching his huge lollipop

I appreciate all the support I've been getting. Elvea in my original formatting it wasn't all in one big paragraph, but when I upload stories to it messes up my formatting really bad. I'll try to fix that though. Oh course I agree with all you people that say Legolas isn't gay (he isn't! he's so straight it's not funny!) while I also have to agree with shinigamisangel that you can't help pairing Leggy and Duo with all the guys sometimes. But they aren't gay! Thanks again for the reviews!

Chapter 2

Just as Legolas had expected his father soon gave him the news that he would be heading to Rivendell as soon as possible. Thranduil would follow after he finished some important business that he was currently occupied with. The goal would be to keep Legolas from being married to a male, and hopefully maintain good relations with Rivendell.

On the day of Legolas's departure he was summoned to Thranduil's chambers. Upon entering Legolas bowed and asked. "Did you wish something of me, Father?"

"My son, I wish you success in your mission while awaiting my arrival. Would you be so kind as to deliver to Lord Elrond this letter from me? I wish for it to be read by none but him." Thranduil replied.

"Of course." Legolas answered then quickly turned and left before his father could see the mischievous smile on his face. The letter fit perfectly into his plan. During the whole ride that day Legolas contemplated his actions. While he certainly did deserve his revenge, he wasn't sure if others deserved what effect his plans would have on them. On the second day of his journey though, the Royal guard that were accompanying him started to tease him.

"My lord Legolas, are you nervous about your wedding?" One would innocently ask.

The next soldier would quickly reply: "Of course he is. After all, I have heard that the sons of Elrond are nicely endowed." While Legolas turned bright red yet another would continue.

"My lord, would you prefer for one of us to "prepare" you? Though you have seduced many fine young men, we have heard of no one conquering you yet." Then all the soldiers would laugh and talk of other matters for awhile before teasing him again. Legolas turned redder and redder, partly from embarrassment but mostly from pure anger. When they finished riding that day he stalked over to beneath a tree and pulled from his sack a piece of paper and pen. For the rest of the evening he could be seen underneath the tree, furiously writing whatever it was. Eventually the captain of the guard moved to talk to him. Upon hearing his approach Legolas clutched the letter to his chest, than looked up innocently at the elf.

"Do you need something Beleglion?" He asked sweetly. Beleglion looked down at the prince suspiciously.

"What are you doing?" he said instead of answering.

"Why nothing of importance. Merely recording the last few days in my journal."

Beleglion nodded. "Right... the men's comments did not upset you, did they my prince? For they were only jesting. You know they will defend your..." here the poor captain was at a lost for words for a few moments. "Your... sexual preference to any that truly believe you to be gay. They just enjoy tormenting you."

"Of course I know that! Now my dear Beleglion you had no need to trouble yourself over such a small thing! Head right back over to the fire this instant! I only need a few more minutes to complete my entry." And having said this Legolas smiled so sweetly that Beleglion knew for sure that he was up to something, but complied with his wishes anyways. True to his word Legolas wrote for a few minutes before joining the others at the fire, but it was what he wrote in those moments that were important.

The rest of the journey was without incident, and soon the company had arrived at Rivendell. Lord Elrond himself appeared to greet them. As Elrond individually spoke to the men, Beleglion couldn't help noticing the wicked smile on the face of Legolas. Eventually Elrond stopped in front of Legolas and hugged him.

"Dear prince Legolas," he started. "I look forward to having you in my family."

Legolas returned the hug, and answered, "It would be my pleasure to be considered one of your great family, my Lord. My father has written a letter for you, two in fact. He requests that they be read by none but you." Here Legolas handed Elrond the letter his father had entrusted to him, and another one which was tied with a red string. Elrond flushed with delight and Legolas knew that his suspicions that Elrond fancied his father were true.

"Well I must be off to read these important messages then! Help yourselves to whatever you desire, I shall see you all at the feast tonight." Elrond quickly bowed and left. Legolas watched him go with the most evil of grins on his face, and Beleglion knew that his worst fears were being confirmed. He was quite certain that the second letter was indeed from Legolas!

At the feast that night, all noticed the change in Elrond. He couldn't stop smiling and was actually humming to himself at times. The word had spread throughout Rivendell that he had received a letter from King Thranduil that no one else was permitted to read. The Lady Arwen was sitting next to Legolas, and she questioned him about her father's strange behavior with all the freedom allowed to old friends.

"Legolas, what in the name of Valor did your father write! I haven't seen my father act like this since... well... Never." Legolas looked at her wide eyed.

"I don't know Arwen. My father only told me to deliver the letter, he never said anything about what was in it." Arwen looked at him suspiciously. She knew Legolas was lying, but didn't really wish to know what it was he had done this time. They had been friends all their lives and she knew he had the worst mischievous streak. Eventually she decided to just change the subject.

"So how do you feel about your betrothal? I must tell you, my brothers are fighting over who should get to marry you." And with this she laughed. Legolas glared.

"That's not funny Arwen! Why don't you ever just come out and tell people that I'm straight? It would save you a lot of hassle. I've heard that many elves have started hitting on Aragorn now too." Arwen laughed again.

"I know. It is much funnier just to watch though!" Legolas sat fuming for the rest of the evening.

For the next few days Legolas tried to convince the council that he wasn't gay. They refused to listen though, instead debating whether they should marry him to Elrohir or Elladan. Legolas knew his only redemption would come from his plan. Elrond continued to act strangely, and it was even rumored that he had started giggling during a meeting when King Thranduil was mentioned. No one knew what was going on, except Legolas of course. He was hard put to keep the smile off his face and pretend that he knew nothing. Luckily they received word that Thranduil's business was finished and he would be arriving any day now.

On the day of his arrival, Elrond could not keep still. He had spent 4 hours doing his hair it was said, and was wearing his most glamorous robes. He had gathered all the important persons of Rivendell and they waited at the gate. Finally the trumpets began to blow as the King rode into the city. Elrond blushed and rushed forth to greet him. The whole city stared in shock as he threw himself into the King's arms. Thranduil looked down at the Lord holding him tightly then back up with the most bewildered look on his face. Elrond eventually let go of him and stepped back.

"Elrond, what are you doing! Everyone's watching!" Thranduil hissed, looking anxiously around.

"You are too funny my Lord! Still pretending, like it's a big secret." Elrond answered. Thranduil looked at Elrond as if he was insane. Meanwhile, within the crowd, Legolas could not stop laughing.

"What are you talking about Elrond?" Thranduil finally managed to say.

"Our engagement of course!" Here everyone gasped and a great many fainted.

"WHAT!" Thranduil yelled. "It's right here in your letter, let me refresh your memory, my dearest Thranduil." Elrond cleared his throat then began to read the letter. It read:

My Own Lord Elrond,

Many days have passed since we were last together, and I can not stop thinking about you. This marriage between our children is a sham, just as our anger towards each other has always been. Why force our children to marry, when my love for you shines brighter than all the stars in the Heavens? I know I have said before that we must keep our relationship a secret, but I am tired of pretending I feel nothing for you. Will you do me the honor of marrying me? We shall announce our love for each other to the world when I arrive in Rivendell. Until then, breathe not a word of this to any other. I look forward to the hours we will spend in each others' arms.

Your Boy-toy, Thranduil

The people of Rivendell gaped at the two. Thranduil was turning the most intriguing shade of red, and Legolas was actually rolling on the ground with laughter. But even he froze in shock at the next words out of Thranduil's mouth.

"My sweet Elrond, this letter is so true, though I did not write it. Why hide our feelings any longer? Will you marry me?" At this the King dropped to one knee.

"Oh Thranduil! Of course, I would be the happiest elf alive to be married to you!" Elrond exclaimed. The two shared a passionate kiss before turning to the crowd, beaming. Legolas was standing with his jaw on the floor. Aragorn and Arwen slowly approached him as the rest of Rivendell headed off to feast in light of the engagement.

"Did your plan backfire a bit there, dear Legolas?" Arwen said, more as a statement then a question. Aragorn was laughing heartily.

"Bet you never knew your father was into Elrond!" He exclaimed. Legolas meanwhile just glared at the both of them.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but that was NOT right!" The pair grinned at each other.

"So you're saying you didn't write that letter to Elrond?" Legolas flushed and looked at the ground.

"Umm.. no. Oh well, at least I've gotten my revenge. Now Rivendell knows who is truly gay, and hopefully who's straight."

Just at that moment though two elves happened to be passing by. The trio could not help over hearing their conversation. "This makes sense now, after all, the apple never falls far from the tree."

"The other elf laughed and replied. "Yes, it will be interesting to see what happens when Thranduil's son and Elrond's foster son finally admit their feelings."

Oh! Poor Leggy's plan didn't work! They still think he's gay!

Legolas: I'm not gay! Really, I'm not! starts crying Why do they all think that?

Duo: pats him on the back There there, you're just going to have to come up with another plan.

What do you think? Does Legolas need to attempt another plan? I think he will if we get enough reviews!