Revenge of the Straight Elf
Disclaimer: Ok so I do own the special edition DVD (yay!! Woohoo!! Party!!) but I don't own anything else. No, I'm lying. I OWN IT ALL!!! BWHAHAHAHAHA!!! (whomever believes this, say AYE)
Author's Notes: we're up to the 50 review mark!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!
Legolas: All due to our inspirations, of course.
Duo: Yah, the readers love us! Right? *turns towards readers with puppy eyes*
Emerald: ...anyways sorry for taking forever to update, I was busy with schoolwork. Yuck.
Duo: What you actually did that 5 page chem. report? *gasps*
Legolas: Don't you have 2 English essays you still have to do?
Emerald: Yes but I didn't want to have to wait till next weekend to get the third chapter up. Of course this might be the last chapter.. I'm not sure how I'm going to end this chapter yet, I'll just have to go with the flow and leave that up to my muses!
Legolas and Duo: *grin evilly* BWHAHAHA!!!
Emerald: *looks scared* anyways thanks again to everyone who reviewed!! Love you all!!! Remember to review this time too!
Chapter 3
That night there was a feast in honor of the engagement. Legolas was sitting next to Arwen and Aragorn, looking miserable.
"Cheer up pal, at least you don't have to get married now." Aragorn said while patting him on the back.
"How can I cheer up? My father is engaged to Elrond and everyone still thinks I'm gay. Why me God?!?" Legolas answered before hiding his face in his hands again. Arwen shared a glance with Aragorn. They both thought it was rather funny, but couldn't convince the prince of that. At that moment Elrond himself came over.
"Dear little Legolas." He began as Legolas quickly stood up and found himself being hugged to death. "I'm so happy that you'll be my stepson now! Of course your marriage to Elladan or Elrohir is off, I want you to think of my children as your brothers and sister now." With this he motioned for Arwen to join in on the hugging. Giving both of them one last squeeze he backed away, tears evident in his eyes. "Remember that Rivendell is now one of your homes, and feel free to do as you like Legolas. Arwen, look after your new brother." Elrond then turned and headed up with Thranduil, who greeted him with a hug.
"That is just not right." Legolas exclaimed as he slumped back down on the table. Arwen shuddered. "Do you think he's going to act like this all the time now?" she asked Legolas. "I don't know, he's your father!" Aragorn meanwhile had watched the scene totally amused. "Guess I'm not as important now as his foster son, since you get to be his new stepson." He remarked. Legolas glared at him. "My sweet little Leggy, how are you today? Oh how I love my darling stepson!" Aragorn teased, managing to sound a lot like Elrond in his current state. "Why I ought to...." Legolas started as he began choking Aragorn. Arwen sat laughing as she watched them, and was just beginning to move to prevent Legolas from choking her love to death when another stepped in.
"Prince Legolas! Why are you choking poor Aragorn?" questioned the female elf as she pried his hands away from Aragorn's throat. "Because.. I felt like it. Do I know you?" he asked, confused. She blushed. "Why no my prince, I am just a humble servant. But you shouldn't kill Lord Aragorn!" Here Aragorn thought to put in his good sense. "Of course not! After all, you'd miss your dear friend!" Legolas moved to choke him again but Arwen quickly grabbed Aragorn's hand. "Come my dear, I wish to dance." Legolas watched them go before returning his attention to the unknown elf.
"And what is your name fair lady? I'm sure it must be as beautiful as you." She blushed daintily before replying. "Aradalien, my lord." Legolas grinned charmingly. "As I thought, a name worthy of your beauty." Aradalien looked at him with wide eyes. "So it is true, that gay men are so much kinder and sensitive!" Legolas spluttered "Wha...What?" Aradalien giggled.
"Oh my lord, you need not pretend! I thank you for your kindness and offer some words of comfort for your fight with the lord Aragorn. He does love you, and will return to you. The Evenstar's affections will not keep him away for long. He will be faithful to you once more my lord, fear not. Until then, it would be wise to conceal your anger, for violence will not win him back." Aradalien touched Legolas's cheek, then sighed. "It is a pity though that such a fine man as you has no interest in the attentions of a lady." She rose and curtsied gracefully, then left. Legolas watched her go with a look of shock. She had completely misinterpreted the scene between him and Aragorn. What's more, he had been trying to pick her up! As he sat there still looking shocked, Arwen and Aragorn returned.
"What's wrong Legolas? Did she offer you counsel for your relationship problems with Aragorn?" Arwen asked jokingly. Legolas turned to her and nodded slowly. Aragorn became red with fury, and Arwen started to laugh. This seemed to jolt Legolas out of his world of shock, and he stood.
"I will stand for this no longer!" he exclaimed to the others before rushing out onto the dance floor. He reached the musicians, and spoke with them a second before they stopped playing their music. All the elves present turned towards him, curious why the music had stopped. Legolas cleared his throat, than began to speak.
"My fellow elves, I have something very important that I feel I must say. You have all been laboring under a delusion for many years, and I must clear things up. I am not in a relationship with the lord Aragorn, nor the lords Elladan or Elrohir, nor even the lord Haldir." Legolas paused to take a breath as the elves tittered amongst themselves over this shocking news. "The reason is because I am not attracted to any of them. And the reason for that is because...I AM NOT GAY! I like women!" The crowd gasped in disbelief. Legolas looked out on them, proud that he had finally cleared things up. Suddenly Elladan himself stood and asked.
"Is this because Aragorn likes Arwen? Legolas denial does not suit you well." Another elf murmured his agreement, and before Legolas could say a word the whole hall was shouting at each other. Some were defending his straightness, while others made pointed arguments about how he was so friendly with Aragorn. Legolas dropped his head and made his way directly to his room before collapsing on his bed. After a few moments Arwen and Aragorn rushed in.
"It didn't work." Legolas said dazed. "I finally told everyone I was straight, and it didn't work." Arwen sat next to him on the bed. "Your poor little thing, let sister Arwen take care of you." She said soothingly while patting him on the head. "Elrond's gotten to her head." Aragorn muttered before sinking into a chair. "You know this just isn't fair!" he continued. "I even stood up and yelled that we weren't gay after you left, and no one listened to me." "We're doomed." Legolas managed to say, with tears in his eyes. Arwen looked at the two of them sitting dejectedly and bit her lip.
"You can't give up! You must just try again. Come up with a better plan Legolas, prove that you're straight." She said. Legolas sat up. "You're right! I'm going to prove it to them. Alright here's the deal. Aragorn you stay close to Arwen, maybe let people catch you putting the moves on her sometimes." "Got it." Aragorn replied, pulling Arwen next to him. Legolas continued "I'll just make sure people see me with some females, doing my thing. It's a foolproof plan, it has to work!"
The next day:
Legolas was walking through the corridor, heading towards the archery fields when he happened to bump into Aradalien. "My lord!" She said shocked. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I heard what you said yesterday, and I'm quite sorry I assumed you were with Aragorn." She bowed her head, apparently to ashamed to look at his face. Legolas smiled, and gently raised her head to look at him. "It's quite alright, many people seem to think that." Aradalien smiled back at him. "I'm so glad you are straight my lord, really." Legolas put his finger to her mouth. "Shhh... no more 'my lords', just call me Legolas." "Legolas..." She breathed before he lowered his mouth to kiss her. At that moment many of the lord elves came around the corner, and witnessed their kissing. Aradalien heard them gasp, and turning bright red quickly fled the scene. Legolas turned and looked innocently at them, before continuing to the fields.
This continued for many days, Legolas being caught kissing some young elf. Most often the members of the council were the ones to find him, but occasionally others managed to as well. Rumors were flying through out Rivendell that Legolas was actually straight. And Legolas smiled, and prepared to reveal the next part of his plan.
Emerald: What do you think? I didn't intend to end it that way. it just happened. I think it's Duo's fault.
Duo: Me!!! Legolas is your muse too! It's probably his fault.
Legolas: Of course not, I'm too cute!
Duo: .....What has the got to do with anything???
Legolas: *shrugs*
Emerald: right.... thanks for reading and please remember to review!!!
Disclaimer: Ok so I do own the special edition DVD (yay!! Woohoo!! Party!!) but I don't own anything else. No, I'm lying. I OWN IT ALL!!! BWHAHAHAHAHA!!! (whomever believes this, say AYE)
Author's Notes: we're up to the 50 review mark!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!
Legolas: All due to our inspirations, of course.
Duo: Yah, the readers love us! Right? *turns towards readers with puppy eyes*
Emerald: ...anyways sorry for taking forever to update, I was busy with schoolwork. Yuck.
Duo: What you actually did that 5 page chem. report? *gasps*
Legolas: Don't you have 2 English essays you still have to do?
Emerald: Yes but I didn't want to have to wait till next weekend to get the third chapter up. Of course this might be the last chapter.. I'm not sure how I'm going to end this chapter yet, I'll just have to go with the flow and leave that up to my muses!
Legolas and Duo: *grin evilly* BWHAHAHA!!!
Emerald: *looks scared* anyways thanks again to everyone who reviewed!! Love you all!!! Remember to review this time too!
Chapter 3
That night there was a feast in honor of the engagement. Legolas was sitting next to Arwen and Aragorn, looking miserable.
"Cheer up pal, at least you don't have to get married now." Aragorn said while patting him on the back.
"How can I cheer up? My father is engaged to Elrond and everyone still thinks I'm gay. Why me God?!?" Legolas answered before hiding his face in his hands again. Arwen shared a glance with Aragorn. They both thought it was rather funny, but couldn't convince the prince of that. At that moment Elrond himself came over.
"Dear little Legolas." He began as Legolas quickly stood up and found himself being hugged to death. "I'm so happy that you'll be my stepson now! Of course your marriage to Elladan or Elrohir is off, I want you to think of my children as your brothers and sister now." With this he motioned for Arwen to join in on the hugging. Giving both of them one last squeeze he backed away, tears evident in his eyes. "Remember that Rivendell is now one of your homes, and feel free to do as you like Legolas. Arwen, look after your new brother." Elrond then turned and headed up with Thranduil, who greeted him with a hug.
"That is just not right." Legolas exclaimed as he slumped back down on the table. Arwen shuddered. "Do you think he's going to act like this all the time now?" she asked Legolas. "I don't know, he's your father!" Aragorn meanwhile had watched the scene totally amused. "Guess I'm not as important now as his foster son, since you get to be his new stepson." He remarked. Legolas glared at him. "My sweet little Leggy, how are you today? Oh how I love my darling stepson!" Aragorn teased, managing to sound a lot like Elrond in his current state. "Why I ought to...." Legolas started as he began choking Aragorn. Arwen sat laughing as she watched them, and was just beginning to move to prevent Legolas from choking her love to death when another stepped in.
"Prince Legolas! Why are you choking poor Aragorn?" questioned the female elf as she pried his hands away from Aragorn's throat. "Because.. I felt like it. Do I know you?" he asked, confused. She blushed. "Why no my prince, I am just a humble servant. But you shouldn't kill Lord Aragorn!" Here Aragorn thought to put in his good sense. "Of course not! After all, you'd miss your dear friend!" Legolas moved to choke him again but Arwen quickly grabbed Aragorn's hand. "Come my dear, I wish to dance." Legolas watched them go before returning his attention to the unknown elf.
"And what is your name fair lady? I'm sure it must be as beautiful as you." She blushed daintily before replying. "Aradalien, my lord." Legolas grinned charmingly. "As I thought, a name worthy of your beauty." Aradalien looked at him with wide eyes. "So it is true, that gay men are so much kinder and sensitive!" Legolas spluttered "Wha...What?" Aradalien giggled.
"Oh my lord, you need not pretend! I thank you for your kindness and offer some words of comfort for your fight with the lord Aragorn. He does love you, and will return to you. The Evenstar's affections will not keep him away for long. He will be faithful to you once more my lord, fear not. Until then, it would be wise to conceal your anger, for violence will not win him back." Aradalien touched Legolas's cheek, then sighed. "It is a pity though that such a fine man as you has no interest in the attentions of a lady." She rose and curtsied gracefully, then left. Legolas watched her go with a look of shock. She had completely misinterpreted the scene between him and Aragorn. What's more, he had been trying to pick her up! As he sat there still looking shocked, Arwen and Aragorn returned.
"What's wrong Legolas? Did she offer you counsel for your relationship problems with Aragorn?" Arwen asked jokingly. Legolas turned to her and nodded slowly. Aragorn became red with fury, and Arwen started to laugh. This seemed to jolt Legolas out of his world of shock, and he stood.
"I will stand for this no longer!" he exclaimed to the others before rushing out onto the dance floor. He reached the musicians, and spoke with them a second before they stopped playing their music. All the elves present turned towards him, curious why the music had stopped. Legolas cleared his throat, than began to speak.
"My fellow elves, I have something very important that I feel I must say. You have all been laboring under a delusion for many years, and I must clear things up. I am not in a relationship with the lord Aragorn, nor the lords Elladan or Elrohir, nor even the lord Haldir." Legolas paused to take a breath as the elves tittered amongst themselves over this shocking news. "The reason is because I am not attracted to any of them. And the reason for that is because...I AM NOT GAY! I like women!" The crowd gasped in disbelief. Legolas looked out on them, proud that he had finally cleared things up. Suddenly Elladan himself stood and asked.
"Is this because Aragorn likes Arwen? Legolas denial does not suit you well." Another elf murmured his agreement, and before Legolas could say a word the whole hall was shouting at each other. Some were defending his straightness, while others made pointed arguments about how he was so friendly with Aragorn. Legolas dropped his head and made his way directly to his room before collapsing on his bed. After a few moments Arwen and Aragorn rushed in.
"It didn't work." Legolas said dazed. "I finally told everyone I was straight, and it didn't work." Arwen sat next to him on the bed. "Your poor little thing, let sister Arwen take care of you." She said soothingly while patting him on the head. "Elrond's gotten to her head." Aragorn muttered before sinking into a chair. "You know this just isn't fair!" he continued. "I even stood up and yelled that we weren't gay after you left, and no one listened to me." "We're doomed." Legolas managed to say, with tears in his eyes. Arwen looked at the two of them sitting dejectedly and bit her lip.
"You can't give up! You must just try again. Come up with a better plan Legolas, prove that you're straight." She said. Legolas sat up. "You're right! I'm going to prove it to them. Alright here's the deal. Aragorn you stay close to Arwen, maybe let people catch you putting the moves on her sometimes." "Got it." Aragorn replied, pulling Arwen next to him. Legolas continued "I'll just make sure people see me with some females, doing my thing. It's a foolproof plan, it has to work!"
The next day:
Legolas was walking through the corridor, heading towards the archery fields when he happened to bump into Aradalien. "My lord!" She said shocked. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I heard what you said yesterday, and I'm quite sorry I assumed you were with Aragorn." She bowed her head, apparently to ashamed to look at his face. Legolas smiled, and gently raised her head to look at him. "It's quite alright, many people seem to think that." Aradalien smiled back at him. "I'm so glad you are straight my lord, really." Legolas put his finger to her mouth. "Shhh... no more 'my lords', just call me Legolas." "Legolas..." She breathed before he lowered his mouth to kiss her. At that moment many of the lord elves came around the corner, and witnessed their kissing. Aradalien heard them gasp, and turning bright red quickly fled the scene. Legolas turned and looked innocently at them, before continuing to the fields.
This continued for many days, Legolas being caught kissing some young elf. Most often the members of the council were the ones to find him, but occasionally others managed to as well. Rumors were flying through out Rivendell that Legolas was actually straight. And Legolas smiled, and prepared to reveal the next part of his plan.
Emerald: What do you think? I didn't intend to end it that way. it just happened. I think it's Duo's fault.
Duo: Me!!! Legolas is your muse too! It's probably his fault.
Legolas: Of course not, I'm too cute!
Duo: .....What has the got to do with anything???
Legolas: *shrugs*
Emerald: right.... thanks for reading and please remember to review!!!