Chapter 5: The Itsy Bitsy Spider.
Disclaimer: I do not own YYH. I do own Kyoda and Katie and Lindsey.
Kyoda: You do not own me! I own me!
Youko: *starts to fade*
Kyoda: YOU OWN ME! I AM ALL YOURS, MASTER!!! (For any perverts out there, NO, NOT LIKE THAT! LEGAL contracty own)
Kitsune: Much better.
Youko: *Is back to being solid*
Kurama: You know, sometimes I wonder who the evil one REALLY is...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Scene is: Kitsune hugging her Kurama Plushie, Kyoda stalking Youko, Youko staggering under all the Glomp-B-Gone, Kurama looking between the two camcorders and reading 'Camcorders for Dummies', Yusuke accusing Kuwabara of stealing his hair gel, Kuwabara accusing Yusuke of stealing his tear gem Yukina gave to him, Hiei holding the hair gel in one hand and the tear gem in another, snickering, wearing the two swords and pepper spray on his belt, and Katie and Lindsey plotting ways to get Hiei's swords.)
Kitsune: Welcome back to Screwed up Versions of Yu Yu Hakusho Nursery Songs! I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating, I've had school, and homework, and school, oh, did I mention I had school? Oh, and if anyone is reading this, updates for this are going to be few and far between until I finish Perfect Revenge. And I only update when I get some reviews. Is it blackmail? I don't know. We're both getting something...
Youko: So... Much... Stuff... So... HEAVY!
Kyoda (still Youko!): *Has an idea. Leads Youko over to a hole in the ground* Hey, Why not store it in here?
Youko: *Apparently not using his brain* Okay! *Drops all Glomp-B-Gone in hole* Hey, what was that?
Kyoda: MUHAHAHAHAA! THAT WAS A BLACK HOLE!
Youko: *Confused* Aren't all holes black?
Everyone: *Sweatdrop*
Kurama: *Walks over to the black hole, absorbed in 'Camcorders for Dummies,' holding the new camcorder instructions in the other hand.
Kitsune: *Makes sure no one is watching. Sticks out foot*
Kurama: *Trips and stumbles over foot, Book and instructions go flying into the hole* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Kitsune: *Snickers*
Youko: *Looks at Kyoda* You know, I still have the LIFETIME SUPPLY!!!
Kyoda: How do we know they gave it to you?
Youko: *Still not using his brain, pulls out a certificate* See? This certificate entitles me for the lifetime supply!
Kyoda: *Snatches certificate, rips it to pieces, burns it to ashes, and throws the remains in the black hole* Heh, heh...
Youko: NOOOOO! *Jumps in after it*
Kyoda: *Jumps after Youko*
Kitsune: Well... we won't be seeing them in a while...
Black Hole: *Suddenly flares up, and shows a VERY angry (and ugly) fat red person with horns and a tail, a small head, and brown hair, holding Kyoda and Youko by their collars in different hands*
Kyoda: Hi, Hikari!
Kitsune and Katie: AAAAHHHH NOOOOO!!! IT IS OUR SIXTH GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES TEACHER!! THE HORROR! THE HORROR!
Teacher: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE TWO HAVE DONE?!
Katie: *Points to Kitsune* SHE DID IT! SHE'S THE AUTHORESS!
Teacher: THEY VIOLATED THE SCHOOL UNIFORM POLICY!
Everyone: *Anime fall*
Teacher: *Dumps Kyoda and Youko on the ground, and goes back into black hole*
Lindsey: I now see why people say that whatever goes into a black hole doesn't come out again...
Kyoda: *Glomps Youko*
Youko: I know, I should be used to it now, BUT I'M NOT!
Kitsune: I think we should get started now. Thank you everyone for the paint!
Yusuke: NEW PAINT!?
Kitsune: Yep. And they're not all bright neon colors, either.
Yusuke: *Is REALLY celebrating now*
Kitsune: So... *grabs all non-bright and happy colors, and throws them in the black hole*
Voice in hole: OW!
Yusuke: Aw man... I REFUSE TO GO CHECK THE SCENERY!
Kitsune: Fine. Kurama?
Kurama: *Goes and checks the scenery. It is a well painted side-view of a farmhouse, with a spout and gutter. The colors are all appropriate* Wow. Nice.
Yusuke: Wait, HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?
Kitsune: We got a professional artist.
Yusuke: YOU SAID YOU HAD NO MONEY!
Kitsune: We got him hired using the nickel, paperclip, and piece of lint a reviewer gave us.
Yusuke: *Sweatdrop*
Kitsune: Time to get started! Hiei?!
Hiei: *Appears, with everything the reviewers gave him* What?
Kitsune: We're starting, and you play the main character!
Hiei: You can't force me to do anything else, you signed a contract that says that you promised won't force me to do anything else, and that I can come and go as I please.
Kitsune: WHAT?! LET ME SEE!
Hiei: *Hands her a piece of paper*
Paper: I promise I won't force Hiei to do anything else, and he can come and go as he pleases. Signed, Koganero Kitsune.
Hiei: *Smug look on his face*
Kitsune: Uh... Hiei?
Hiei: What?
Kitsune: 'Koganeiro' has an 'I' in it.
Hiei: NOOOOO!
Kitsune: That's my cue! The itsy bitsy spider-
Hiei: *Is pushed onstage wearing a spider costume with only four legs.* OKAY, THIS HEIGHT THING HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH! First it was LITTLE Miss Muffit. Then, it was the part of a field mouse. A FIELD MOUSE! Then, it was the part of the LITTLE lamb, and then I had to be that stupid teapot, SHORT AND STOUT! BUT ITSY BITSY, THAT'S IT! YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE, RIGHT THERE!
Kuwabara: Jeez, who knew Shorty was so sensitive?
Hiei: STOP CALLING ME THAT! OR-
Kyoda: *Runs onstage, taped Hiei's mouth shut with duct tape* Ahhh... good old duct tape
Kuwabara: DUCK TAPE!? How could you be so mean to the ducks?!
Everyone: *Totally ignores him*
Kitsune: Climbed up the water spout.
Hiei: *Refuses to move*
Kyoda: *Runs up, grabs him, and stuffs him up a cardboard tube, then runs offstage*
Hiei: Mmph! MMMpph! Mnnmmph!
Kitsune: Down came the rain-
Hiei: HM?!
Kitsune: And washed the spider out!
Hiei: MMPH! MMMMNNNPH! MMNNNPH! MMM! MM! MMMMMPH!
Kyoda: Grabs a big bucket of water, and dumps it in the tube, washing Hiei out.
Hiei: *Gets VERY angry*
Kitsune: Up came the sun-
Kuwabara: *is being dangled from the ceiling, painted neon yellow*
Kitsune: And dried up all the rain-
Kyoda: *Blow dries everything with a huge blast of her Ki*
Hiei: *Is almost blown out the door, but is caught by Katie* Mmmph!
Katie: HIEI! DON'T SAY THAT TO ME!
Kurama: How you can understand that, I will never know...
Kitsune: And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.
Kyoda: *Stuffs Hiei up the tube again, then pulls him out and removes the duct tape*
Hiei: *Growls, reaches for swords and pepper spray, and neither are there... yet again.* WHAT?! THERE WAS AN ANTI-THEFT SPELL ON IT! I SAW THE WARD!
Youko: *Waves a piece of paper at Hiei tauntingly*
Hiei: KURAMA! YOU TRAITOR!
Kurama: Huh?
Hiei: *Jumps at Youko*
Youko: *Sprays Hiei with pepper spray*
Hiei: KURAMA!!! AAAAAAH!
Kurama: WHAT?!
Hiei: YOU MADE ME SMELL LIKE PEPPERS!
Everyone: *Sweatdrop*
Kurama: *Pulls tape out of camcorder* A-HA! I have successfully taped a song!
Hiei: *Staggering around, bumps into Kurama*
Kurama: Whoa... *Falls, tape flies out of his hand and into the black hole* T.T NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! T.T
Kitsune: There went another try...
Lindsey: *Suddenly appears*
Kitsune: Let me guess... you just auctioned off Hiei's swords to someone.
Lindsey: No... I just went to the bathroom.
Kitsune: *Blinks* Then where are his swords? *Hears Kuwabara scream*
Katie: *Is chasing around Kuwabara, setting him on fire, waving the sword like a maniac* MUHAHAHAHAAA!
Hiei's Other Sword: *Is lying on the floor, forgotten*
Lindsey: *Grabs sword* ALL MINE! MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MIIIIINE! *Runs off*
Kitsune: I guess we won't be seeing her anymore...
Everyone: *Watches Lindsey run out the door, screaming in delight* *Sweatdrop*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: *Faints from sheer length of the chapter* Please review, and if you want another chapter, as stated above, review on Perfect Revenge, and when that's done, the updates will come along a LOT faster. Promise! Next up, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star!