Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters from Lord of the Rings (or
Duo) because otherwise Legolas would be my willing sex slave, which he
isn't. WHY NOT GOD?? WHY CAN'T HE BE MINE???? ..plus, then I would have
the money for the mental therapy I think I need. C'mon people, you're
reading this stuff, obviously I'm not getting it!!!
Author's Notes: Yeah. I haven't updated. The thing is that, in case you haven't noticed, this is a humorous fic.
Duo: No really! You think?
Legolas: I never would have guessed..
Emerald: Hello! Focus! I'm being serious here!
Duo & Legolas: *fall over in shock*
Emerald: *rolls eyes* anyways, I recently found out that a good friend of mine had moved on to better places. *looks up pointedly at the sky* so I waited awhile before working on this as I wasn't in a very comedic mood.
Duo: *pats her on the back before speaking* luckily for you, I'm the master of funny!
Legolas: and I'm gorgeous! Plus Emerald's in denial.
Duo: so this may still turn out a good chapter!!!
Emerald: Oh yah. I'm feeling the love over here..
Chapter 6
Friday afternoon male elves everywhere were left alone in confusion. Every single female elf had locked themselves in their chambers to 'prepare'. For what? Most of the males didn't know. The exceptions being two small groups of devious males, whom were also currently preparing.
"Alright, the twins are locked up, but we have other safety measures to make sure no males are getting through. Right??" Legolas looked worriedly at the others.
"Correct, Prince. At the sign-in table that Aragorn and Haldir will be manning, we will send any suspicious elves to Arwen, who if all else fails can check for necessary body parts." Beleglion managed to not blush when he said this, but it was close.
"Plus Beleglion we be standing in front of your door as guard, so they still we have to convince him!" Arwen added helpfully. Besides her Haldir was staring wistfully off into space.
"Why can't I be the person checking for necessary body parts? It's not fair. I only get to watch them fill out paperwork." He said mournfully.
"Cheer up, Haldir." Aragorn piped up. "They'll all be wearing really scandalous outfits to impress Leggy, so they'll probably be low cut. Thus when they lean over to sign the papers...." He paused to grin and wink. "So we did get a good job!"
Legolas smacked himself on the forehead. "Aragorn, you idiot! Arwen is standing right here!!!"
Aragorn turned to Arwen with an expression of dawning horror. "Oh yeah.."
"ARAGORN!" She screamed, enraged. "HOW COULD YOU??? YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID JERK, AND AN ASSHOLE!!" She grabbed his arm and started pulling him off somewhere, screaming obscenities the whole time.
Haldir smiled brightly. "He's right though! Excellent. I can't wait till tonight."
Beleglion sighed in frustration. "You are all impossible. And totally unaware of your surroundings, otherwise Aragorn would have been a little more discreet." He rolled his eyes. "I mean honestly, Arwen had just spoken not 5 seconds ago!"
Legolas chuckled. "He probably wasn't even listening to the conversation. To busy fantasying about god knows what. Just like Haldir." He pointed to the distracted elf.
"And maybe, I can keep pulling the sheet closer to me, so they have to lean over farther, and farther, and farther. And those sheets make them write down lots of vital information, which will then be at my disposal." He laughed evilly.
Beleglion just shook his head sadly. "I give up. Oh, Legolas, by the way. I was talking to. err.. my ~friend~ the other day and she informed me that the twins seem to be planning some horrible thing to do to you once their allowed out again."
"Figures." Legolas muttered. He opened his mouth to speak again when Aragorn walked back up, sporting several new smack marks on his face.
"You know she can hit pretty hard for a girl!" He frowned. "But at least she's not mad. I convinced her that I was only trying to be supportive of Haldir while he was depressed about his lack of body searching, and I had no interest whatsoever in the bodies of other females."
The other three snorted derisively at this obvious lie. "So where'd she go then?" Beleglion questioned.
"Oh, to talk to Elrond. She's making up some excuse for all of us not showing up at the feast and stuff tonight, and some reason that people shouldn't be going to the hallway where Legolas' bedroom is." Legolas nodded with approval.
"Excellent. Everything is going to plan..." he stopped and laughed evilly. "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" The others just looked at him strangely. He noticed their staring and stopped mid maniacal chuckle. "Right then. let's uhh.... go finish setting up the sign-in table."
In the twin's room:
Elrohir anxiously paced back and forth. "Where are they? They're late, and they're never late. Something might be wrong, and we can't go and find out what it is!" Elladan was sitting calmly on a big plushy chair. They were the only two present in the room for the moment, having sent all the servants to wait outside.
"Don't fret, Elrohir. It won't help anyone." He paused a minute to see if anyone was around before continuing. "Besides, if they're late it's probably because they've found more information for us."
As if this was some sort of cue, suddenly voices could be heard at the door, arguing with the guards to be let in. The door soon opened to reveal two figures dressed all in black, with even black veils covering their faces. The clothes did nothing to hide their distinctly obvious feminine figures.
"Sorry we're late." The shorter of the two figures spoke. "But we have some information about tonight that could be useful to you. Those fools are so unaware of their surroundings, in particular the people surrounding them, that's it's laughable." The speaker then handed a stack of papers to Elrohir. He scanned through them quickly before smiling devilishly and handing them to the now risen Elladan.
"This is perfect, ladies. May I once again complement you on your excellent work." He remarked. The figures bowed in response. "That is all for the moment. You may let the servants back in on your way out. We will be requiring your services later, perhaps. So prepare yourselves for a message from us." With another bow the figures left.
"Well, Elladan, this is certainly interesting information." Elrohir remarked casually as the maids began to filter back into the room. "I can't believe our dear little Princey would go through all this trouble just to prove a point. And to put his friends to work for his own purposes! Honestly." He shook his head sadly in a disapproving manner.
"If it was hard work, we would pity them." Elladan looked thoughtful. "However, this seems to be an enjoyable task for them, by all means. Aragorn and Haldir chatting up the ladies at the first desk, and Beleglion must be personally convinced that each lady IS a lady before they can even enter. I'm sure we both know what means he may use to do so." Here Elladan turned to his brother with an obvious wink. Across the room one of the maids gasped sharply, then continued her work like nothing had happened.
"I follow you, Brother. I think Leggy will not be the only one having some fun tonight!" Elrohir burst into laughter before continuing. "It is sad that we will not be joining in, no? Perhaps we should send one of the guards for our own special ladies..." Elladan smiled at the comment.
"Perchance we will. But worry not my most devious sibling, for we shall have our fair share of justice upon the young prince." Matching smirks crossed the faces of the twins. "If only we were not locked up in these chambers at the moment."
Elrohir sighed with longing. "If only.... But you're right. Our chance will come. And right when Legolas least expects it. But tonight, him and his friends make merry." He then paused and spoke his next words slowly, as if carefully considering them. "I wouldn't be surprised if at least one engagement came out of tonight's revels. Aragorn and Arwen being excluded on the grounds of already being a serious couple, that leaves Haldir, Legolas, and Beleglion. The prince will marry whoever bears his child most likely, and Haldir has sworn to marry a maiden of Lothlorien. Beleglion has no such obligations though."
Elladan nodded thoughtfully. "It's true. I wouldn't be surprised if he did find himself a girl out of this mess. Or maybe two... or three..." Both of them laughed this time drowning out the noise of what sounded like a sob from the maid in the corner. But certain ears were listening for such a thing, and still heard.
The twins continued chatting until one of the maids (guess which one..) approached them. "My lords," She began with a curtsy. "Would it be alright if I leave early tonight? I have certain matters that need attending to." Elladan regarded her carefully.
"I suppose." he answered reluctantly. "If you feel you must. We would never wish to delay you if this was an urgent matter."
"Oh it is urgent, my lords. And thank you so much!" The maid curtsied again with gratitude before rushing off. She left in such a hurry that she missed the looks of satisfaction that marked their faces.
"Ladies, this room seems spotless!" Elrohir turned to the other maids left in the room. "You may also leave early tonight, as we don't wish to play favorites." The maids in the room started gushing out thankful replies before being interrupted. "Will one of you kindly inform our lovely sister, Arwen that we wish to speak to her as soon as possible? For we are so lonely being locked up here in our chambers, with nothing to do and no one to speak with.." The maids were already flustered by the surprised early dismissal, and weren't prepared to deal with twin puppy faces. They couldn't help but agree, and left to search out Arwen.
It wasn't long after the maids had all left that Arwen entered the twins' bedroom. Both were staring intently outside, where the sky was turning dark, thus marking that it was now officially Friday night.
"You wished to see me, dearest brothers?" Arwen asked sweetly. She seemed to have completely forgotten that these were the two (supposed) to have caused her to be attacked by bees. It was little wonder that she was so often the receiver of pranks in that household.
"Well, yes, actually. You see baby sister, we are so lonely up here. It's just the two of us, no one else around." Elladan managed to look deeply depressed. Arwen was in a particularly sisterly mood (remember? She was just talking to Elrond a little while ago. Aragorn's right. it's spreading. RUN FOR THE HILLS!) and walked over to give him a hug. Unfortunately, not only did Elladan's arms surround her, but a rope did too. Before Arwen could scream she found herself tied up and gagged.
"I'm soooooooooo sorry for doing this Sister! It's just Aragorn has a new game he wants to play with you, and he asked us to do this task for him. Please forgive us." Elladan now looked innocent and still give her the puppy dog look. Elrohir stood to the side watching. After all, he wasn't the actor of the family. "Now I'm going to blindfold you. You can't see what's going on, that's another part of the game. Don't worry." So saying he blindfolded her and walked to the farther window. There was a guard outside each one, but the one for this window was missing. In his place was another elf hidden in black robes, who took Arwen and quickly left.
Elrohir then walked to the door and knocked. One of the guards stuck his head in at once. "Yes, my lord?" He asked suspiciously.
"Would you please deliver a message to these ladies for me?" He asked as sweetly as possible while handing the guard a slip of paper. "And tell them to wear their tallest shoes, as we will be having an interesting party in here. Oh, and also to prepare one of our mutual friends at the place."
"Yes, of course, my lord." The guard willingly complied, believing that this had something to do with the rumored strange sexual fetishes of the twins. He really didn't want to question more and learn something better left unsaid. Quickly he ran off, shutting the door tightly behind him while leaving the other guard in charge.
Inside the room Elrohir turned to Elladan. "This is working wonderfully. We will soon have OUR revenge!"
Emerald: Ok, I'm sorry this is so short and late, but I wanted to get something up before I left for camp, since I'm going to be gone for 2 weeks. And they DEFINATLY do NOT have any computers!!!
Duo: *groans* she kept us up all night just so she could give you guys this chapter. YOU BETTER BE HAPPY!
Legolas: *glares evilly at the audience* I agree! This is all your fault! It's 2:30 am over here! I'm tired.
Duo: Do you think we should charge overtime?
Emerald: I don't know what you guys are complaining about. I have to leave by 8 in the morning!!! I'm getting no sleep here!
Legolas: All you ever do is whine or make excuses. well ~I'M~ going to do something USEFUL. *clears throat* REMEMBER TO VOTE PEOPLE! THE FASTER SHE DECIDES HOW TO END IT THE FASTER SHE WILL!!!!!!
Duo: *nods approvingly* finally, someone's taking some action around here! Yes, DO VOTE! The choices are again, funny ending, sorta serious ending *pauses* which probably will be nicer to you Legolas.. *pauses again before continuing* two different endings consisting of the above, or we could just combine those options into one ending!
Emerald: I don't remember a combination being an option!
Legolas: Who cares? We're the muses, we're in charge!
Emerald: *pouts* well vote now! I'll start working on the ending as soon as I return! There may be one more tie in chapter though. *sighs* unfortunately. Well, we'll just have to wait and see!
Author's Notes: Yeah. I haven't updated. The thing is that, in case you haven't noticed, this is a humorous fic.
Duo: No really! You think?
Legolas: I never would have guessed..
Emerald: Hello! Focus! I'm being serious here!
Duo & Legolas: *fall over in shock*
Emerald: *rolls eyes* anyways, I recently found out that a good friend of mine had moved on to better places. *looks up pointedly at the sky* so I waited awhile before working on this as I wasn't in a very comedic mood.
Duo: *pats her on the back before speaking* luckily for you, I'm the master of funny!
Legolas: and I'm gorgeous! Plus Emerald's in denial.
Duo: so this may still turn out a good chapter!!!
Emerald: Oh yah. I'm feeling the love over here..
Chapter 6
Friday afternoon male elves everywhere were left alone in confusion. Every single female elf had locked themselves in their chambers to 'prepare'. For what? Most of the males didn't know. The exceptions being two small groups of devious males, whom were also currently preparing.
"Alright, the twins are locked up, but we have other safety measures to make sure no males are getting through. Right??" Legolas looked worriedly at the others.
"Correct, Prince. At the sign-in table that Aragorn and Haldir will be manning, we will send any suspicious elves to Arwen, who if all else fails can check for necessary body parts." Beleglion managed to not blush when he said this, but it was close.
"Plus Beleglion we be standing in front of your door as guard, so they still we have to convince him!" Arwen added helpfully. Besides her Haldir was staring wistfully off into space.
"Why can't I be the person checking for necessary body parts? It's not fair. I only get to watch them fill out paperwork." He said mournfully.
"Cheer up, Haldir." Aragorn piped up. "They'll all be wearing really scandalous outfits to impress Leggy, so they'll probably be low cut. Thus when they lean over to sign the papers...." He paused to grin and wink. "So we did get a good job!"
Legolas smacked himself on the forehead. "Aragorn, you idiot! Arwen is standing right here!!!"
Aragorn turned to Arwen with an expression of dawning horror. "Oh yeah.."
"ARAGORN!" She screamed, enraged. "HOW COULD YOU??? YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID JERK, AND AN ASSHOLE!!" She grabbed his arm and started pulling him off somewhere, screaming obscenities the whole time.
Haldir smiled brightly. "He's right though! Excellent. I can't wait till tonight."
Beleglion sighed in frustration. "You are all impossible. And totally unaware of your surroundings, otherwise Aragorn would have been a little more discreet." He rolled his eyes. "I mean honestly, Arwen had just spoken not 5 seconds ago!"
Legolas chuckled. "He probably wasn't even listening to the conversation. To busy fantasying about god knows what. Just like Haldir." He pointed to the distracted elf.
"And maybe, I can keep pulling the sheet closer to me, so they have to lean over farther, and farther, and farther. And those sheets make them write down lots of vital information, which will then be at my disposal." He laughed evilly.
Beleglion just shook his head sadly. "I give up. Oh, Legolas, by the way. I was talking to. err.. my ~friend~ the other day and she informed me that the twins seem to be planning some horrible thing to do to you once their allowed out again."
"Figures." Legolas muttered. He opened his mouth to speak again when Aragorn walked back up, sporting several new smack marks on his face.
"You know she can hit pretty hard for a girl!" He frowned. "But at least she's not mad. I convinced her that I was only trying to be supportive of Haldir while he was depressed about his lack of body searching, and I had no interest whatsoever in the bodies of other females."
The other three snorted derisively at this obvious lie. "So where'd she go then?" Beleglion questioned.
"Oh, to talk to Elrond. She's making up some excuse for all of us not showing up at the feast and stuff tonight, and some reason that people shouldn't be going to the hallway where Legolas' bedroom is." Legolas nodded with approval.
"Excellent. Everything is going to plan..." he stopped and laughed evilly. "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" The others just looked at him strangely. He noticed their staring and stopped mid maniacal chuckle. "Right then. let's uhh.... go finish setting up the sign-in table."
In the twin's room:
Elrohir anxiously paced back and forth. "Where are they? They're late, and they're never late. Something might be wrong, and we can't go and find out what it is!" Elladan was sitting calmly on a big plushy chair. They were the only two present in the room for the moment, having sent all the servants to wait outside.
"Don't fret, Elrohir. It won't help anyone." He paused a minute to see if anyone was around before continuing. "Besides, if they're late it's probably because they've found more information for us."
As if this was some sort of cue, suddenly voices could be heard at the door, arguing with the guards to be let in. The door soon opened to reveal two figures dressed all in black, with even black veils covering their faces. The clothes did nothing to hide their distinctly obvious feminine figures.
"Sorry we're late." The shorter of the two figures spoke. "But we have some information about tonight that could be useful to you. Those fools are so unaware of their surroundings, in particular the people surrounding them, that's it's laughable." The speaker then handed a stack of papers to Elrohir. He scanned through them quickly before smiling devilishly and handing them to the now risen Elladan.
"This is perfect, ladies. May I once again complement you on your excellent work." He remarked. The figures bowed in response. "That is all for the moment. You may let the servants back in on your way out. We will be requiring your services later, perhaps. So prepare yourselves for a message from us." With another bow the figures left.
"Well, Elladan, this is certainly interesting information." Elrohir remarked casually as the maids began to filter back into the room. "I can't believe our dear little Princey would go through all this trouble just to prove a point. And to put his friends to work for his own purposes! Honestly." He shook his head sadly in a disapproving manner.
"If it was hard work, we would pity them." Elladan looked thoughtful. "However, this seems to be an enjoyable task for them, by all means. Aragorn and Haldir chatting up the ladies at the first desk, and Beleglion must be personally convinced that each lady IS a lady before they can even enter. I'm sure we both know what means he may use to do so." Here Elladan turned to his brother with an obvious wink. Across the room one of the maids gasped sharply, then continued her work like nothing had happened.
"I follow you, Brother. I think Leggy will not be the only one having some fun tonight!" Elrohir burst into laughter before continuing. "It is sad that we will not be joining in, no? Perhaps we should send one of the guards for our own special ladies..." Elladan smiled at the comment.
"Perchance we will. But worry not my most devious sibling, for we shall have our fair share of justice upon the young prince." Matching smirks crossed the faces of the twins. "If only we were not locked up in these chambers at the moment."
Elrohir sighed with longing. "If only.... But you're right. Our chance will come. And right when Legolas least expects it. But tonight, him and his friends make merry." He then paused and spoke his next words slowly, as if carefully considering them. "I wouldn't be surprised if at least one engagement came out of tonight's revels. Aragorn and Arwen being excluded on the grounds of already being a serious couple, that leaves Haldir, Legolas, and Beleglion. The prince will marry whoever bears his child most likely, and Haldir has sworn to marry a maiden of Lothlorien. Beleglion has no such obligations though."
Elladan nodded thoughtfully. "It's true. I wouldn't be surprised if he did find himself a girl out of this mess. Or maybe two... or three..." Both of them laughed this time drowning out the noise of what sounded like a sob from the maid in the corner. But certain ears were listening for such a thing, and still heard.
The twins continued chatting until one of the maids (guess which one..) approached them. "My lords," She began with a curtsy. "Would it be alright if I leave early tonight? I have certain matters that need attending to." Elladan regarded her carefully.
"I suppose." he answered reluctantly. "If you feel you must. We would never wish to delay you if this was an urgent matter."
"Oh it is urgent, my lords. And thank you so much!" The maid curtsied again with gratitude before rushing off. She left in such a hurry that she missed the looks of satisfaction that marked their faces.
"Ladies, this room seems spotless!" Elrohir turned to the other maids left in the room. "You may also leave early tonight, as we don't wish to play favorites." The maids in the room started gushing out thankful replies before being interrupted. "Will one of you kindly inform our lovely sister, Arwen that we wish to speak to her as soon as possible? For we are so lonely being locked up here in our chambers, with nothing to do and no one to speak with.." The maids were already flustered by the surprised early dismissal, and weren't prepared to deal with twin puppy faces. They couldn't help but agree, and left to search out Arwen.
It wasn't long after the maids had all left that Arwen entered the twins' bedroom. Both were staring intently outside, where the sky was turning dark, thus marking that it was now officially Friday night.
"You wished to see me, dearest brothers?" Arwen asked sweetly. She seemed to have completely forgotten that these were the two (supposed) to have caused her to be attacked by bees. It was little wonder that she was so often the receiver of pranks in that household.
"Well, yes, actually. You see baby sister, we are so lonely up here. It's just the two of us, no one else around." Elladan managed to look deeply depressed. Arwen was in a particularly sisterly mood (remember? She was just talking to Elrond a little while ago. Aragorn's right. it's spreading. RUN FOR THE HILLS!) and walked over to give him a hug. Unfortunately, not only did Elladan's arms surround her, but a rope did too. Before Arwen could scream she found herself tied up and gagged.
"I'm soooooooooo sorry for doing this Sister! It's just Aragorn has a new game he wants to play with you, and he asked us to do this task for him. Please forgive us." Elladan now looked innocent and still give her the puppy dog look. Elrohir stood to the side watching. After all, he wasn't the actor of the family. "Now I'm going to blindfold you. You can't see what's going on, that's another part of the game. Don't worry." So saying he blindfolded her and walked to the farther window. There was a guard outside each one, but the one for this window was missing. In his place was another elf hidden in black robes, who took Arwen and quickly left.
Elrohir then walked to the door and knocked. One of the guards stuck his head in at once. "Yes, my lord?" He asked suspiciously.
"Would you please deliver a message to these ladies for me?" He asked as sweetly as possible while handing the guard a slip of paper. "And tell them to wear their tallest shoes, as we will be having an interesting party in here. Oh, and also to prepare one of our mutual friends at the place."
"Yes, of course, my lord." The guard willingly complied, believing that this had something to do with the rumored strange sexual fetishes of the twins. He really didn't want to question more and learn something better left unsaid. Quickly he ran off, shutting the door tightly behind him while leaving the other guard in charge.
Inside the room Elrohir turned to Elladan. "This is working wonderfully. We will soon have OUR revenge!"
Emerald: Ok, I'm sorry this is so short and late, but I wanted to get something up before I left for camp, since I'm going to be gone for 2 weeks. And they DEFINATLY do NOT have any computers!!!
Duo: *groans* she kept us up all night just so she could give you guys this chapter. YOU BETTER BE HAPPY!
Legolas: *glares evilly at the audience* I agree! This is all your fault! It's 2:30 am over here! I'm tired.
Duo: Do you think we should charge overtime?
Emerald: I don't know what you guys are complaining about. I have to leave by 8 in the morning!!! I'm getting no sleep here!
Legolas: All you ever do is whine or make excuses. well ~I'M~ going to do something USEFUL. *clears throat* REMEMBER TO VOTE PEOPLE! THE FASTER SHE DECIDES HOW TO END IT THE FASTER SHE WILL!!!!!!
Duo: *nods approvingly* finally, someone's taking some action around here! Yes, DO VOTE! The choices are again, funny ending, sorta serious ending *pauses* which probably will be nicer to you Legolas.. *pauses again before continuing* two different endings consisting of the above, or we could just combine those options into one ending!
Emerald: I don't remember a combination being an option!
Legolas: Who cares? We're the muses, we're in charge!
Emerald: *pouts* well vote now! I'll start working on the ending as soon as I return! There may be one more tie in chapter though. *sighs* unfortunately. Well, we'll just have to wait and see!