Just a couple more now. Slowly closing this one out. Even I'M sad! Oh well, I have big plans for my other one.
Thanks so much for the reviews, I love you guys!
~JOEY~
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
-The Hours After-
Chapter 19
For about an hour now, I've been in some semiconscious state, fighting the overpowering drugs and trying desperately to resurface. Though no physical activity is taking place, I have to engage in small intermissions in order to regain my strength and continue the struggle.
Once or twice I've been so close, I can feel the haze thinning and my focus sharpening - but every time I'm left frustrated by a sudden blanket that pulls over me at the last second - pressing me further down than when I started.
There's so much I feel I need to know - I can't explain what difference 'knowing' will make, but I feel the drive nonetheless. I didn't feel this way when I woke up fully the first time. I almost felt normal - though I think my description of normal has been altered a little in light of my recent misfortunes.
The process constructs a consistent pattern of 'one step forward, two steps back'. I mentally thrash around in secluded frustration, praying that someone would slap me back to reality.
Hands - they're everywhere. I think that over the past couple of weeks, I have been 'touched' by more people than my entire life beforehand. It's creepy and uncomfortable, and I feel like every single one of my personal boundaries has been unceremoniously exploited. I can tell some people are just doing they're job, but others are actually trying to talk to me. I appreciate their silent attempt at comfort, but I don't want it. Commiseration permeates from their hands through my skin, and I can just feel the piteous eyes burning holes through my personal barriers. Simply put: I hate it. I wish I'd be put under completely, or brought forth to consciousness... this state of delusional nothingness is killing me.
Every muscle is tired and my head pounds from the tension. I can't do it anymore. I'm just going to have to wait until I rise to the surface naturally. I feel completely, utterly useless. I can only hope this isn't permanent...
*******************************
A wet coldness causes me to shudder on contact. The sensation spreads over the surface of my forehead and face, inducing an almost soothing contrast of hot and cold. My skin is burning and feels tight - similar to the sensation of a severe sunburn. The coldness spreads to my neck, and I flinch as the icy-wetness rudely extends over the surface of the sensitive area.
"Officer Boscorelli?"
The two words echo several times - as if bouncing of the walls of my skull and vibrating between my ears.
My name is spoken again, but this time, I actually feel as though I'm in the same room as the speaker, as opposed to standing down a very narrow hallway, miles away.
Sensation returns to my toes and fingertips. Slowly, the rest of my body follows suit, each and every sense systematically resurfaces until every body part has re-associated itself with the central nervous system.
"Mmmm..." That's all I can muster at this moment.
I thought that regaining my senses would be a relief, but instead, I find myself stifling waves of pain and nausea.
As if someone has suddenly opened a curtain in a really dark room, my eyes pop open. I squint against the blinding fluorescent lights and blink several times to clear the fog.
"You just couldn't stay away, could ya?" Ah shit, now I'm gonna get it. I fear this guy more than I fear Faith. I am able to catch a quick glimpse of his face before I squeeze my eyes shut again - desperately trying to fight the tension that's gripping my head like a vice.
He looks surprisingly satisfied. I have no idea why. I don't think there's too much to celebrate right now. The wet compress is being removed, only to be replaced by a colder compliment. I automatically shudder again, the freezing water burns like fire.
"Officer, I want you to try and stay awake with me for a few minutes, okay?" his voice is softer now, and I can't help but feel like he's also attempting to invade my personal boundaries with his newfound sympathy. I thought he was different... Despite the anger that his pity sends shooting through my veins, I trust this guy's opinion more than anyone else I have met in this hellhole, so I try to be as obedient as possible.
The task doesn't prove to be easy. Against the complaints of my pounding head, I pry my eyes open again. The doc turns back to me and nods, "Good, now just try to stay that way for a second."
No bullshit with this guy. He grabs a light from somewhere behind my head and nods at the nurse, who, in response, removes the cloth from my forehead. He leans in towards me and shines the bright light into my eyes. After examining for several seconds, he clicks off the light and places one hand in the center of my chest.
"Do you have any pain here?"
There's pain everywhere, doc. However, I shake my head 'no' when I assess that the pain is no worse in that area than any other part of my body. He moves his hand to my left and presses slightly. I sharply inhale.
"Not so good there, huh?" I
shake my head again, and allow my eyes to drift close.
"No no no. I'm not done with you just yet. Just give me a couple more seconds of your time."
When he sees my eyes slowly open again, he quickly grabs the stethoscope from around his neck and presses it decisively against my chest. "A little shaky, there?" a subtle smile plays on his face.
I shift my gaze down in an attempt to comprehend what he's talking about. I see the stethoscope vibrating in unison with my body. I don't really see why that makes the doc smile, but I go along with it. Whatever turns your crank, doc.
"I want you to breathe in SLOWLY. Don't try to inhale too much. I don't need you to push it, just take it nice and slow."
I do my best to follow orders, but my chest gets tighter and tighter as the pressure increases. I begin to cough as a result, and the doc shakes his head while replacing the stethoscope around his neck, a blatant smile forming on his face.
"You just don't listen, do you?" I guess I can't argue with that. Listening isn't really one of my strong points.
Once I'm convinced my chest is done convulsing, I clear my throat, "You done?"
He turns back towards me and raises his eyebrows, "Am I keeping you from something?"
Why? Why do I always get the smart asses? I guess he notices I'm not in the mood because he nods sympathetically, "Go to sleep, Officer. God knows you need it."
He mumbles some medical terms to the nurse, who replaces the cloth on my forehead before injecting a clear substance into my IV. I wonder how long it has been since I woke up to find Faith sleeping. I wonder where she is... where's my Ma?
Eventually, I guess I'll get all my answers, and though I'm sick of waiting, sleep sounds damn good right now. Another cold wave passes through my entire body. The effects are minimized by the drugs the doc kindly administered. I can feel the warmth battling with the cold. I'm too tired to stay awake to find out who wins. I fall asleep to the sound of the young doc's voice, "No running away this time, Officer. I've hired guards."
TBC. Review, review, review ;) Thanks, guys!
Thanks so much for the reviews, I love you guys!
~JOEY~
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
-The Hours After-
Chapter 19
For about an hour now, I've been in some semiconscious state, fighting the overpowering drugs and trying desperately to resurface. Though no physical activity is taking place, I have to engage in small intermissions in order to regain my strength and continue the struggle.
Once or twice I've been so close, I can feel the haze thinning and my focus sharpening - but every time I'm left frustrated by a sudden blanket that pulls over me at the last second - pressing me further down than when I started.
There's so much I feel I need to know - I can't explain what difference 'knowing' will make, but I feel the drive nonetheless. I didn't feel this way when I woke up fully the first time. I almost felt normal - though I think my description of normal has been altered a little in light of my recent misfortunes.
The process constructs a consistent pattern of 'one step forward, two steps back'. I mentally thrash around in secluded frustration, praying that someone would slap me back to reality.
Hands - they're everywhere. I think that over the past couple of weeks, I have been 'touched' by more people than my entire life beforehand. It's creepy and uncomfortable, and I feel like every single one of my personal boundaries has been unceremoniously exploited. I can tell some people are just doing they're job, but others are actually trying to talk to me. I appreciate their silent attempt at comfort, but I don't want it. Commiseration permeates from their hands through my skin, and I can just feel the piteous eyes burning holes through my personal barriers. Simply put: I hate it. I wish I'd be put under completely, or brought forth to consciousness... this state of delusional nothingness is killing me.
Every muscle is tired and my head pounds from the tension. I can't do it anymore. I'm just going to have to wait until I rise to the surface naturally. I feel completely, utterly useless. I can only hope this isn't permanent...
*******************************
A wet coldness causes me to shudder on contact. The sensation spreads over the surface of my forehead and face, inducing an almost soothing contrast of hot and cold. My skin is burning and feels tight - similar to the sensation of a severe sunburn. The coldness spreads to my neck, and I flinch as the icy-wetness rudely extends over the surface of the sensitive area.
"Officer Boscorelli?"
The two words echo several times - as if bouncing of the walls of my skull and vibrating between my ears.
My name is spoken again, but this time, I actually feel as though I'm in the same room as the speaker, as opposed to standing down a very narrow hallway, miles away.
Sensation returns to my toes and fingertips. Slowly, the rest of my body follows suit, each and every sense systematically resurfaces until every body part has re-associated itself with the central nervous system.
"Mmmm..." That's all I can muster at this moment.
I thought that regaining my senses would be a relief, but instead, I find myself stifling waves of pain and nausea.
As if someone has suddenly opened a curtain in a really dark room, my eyes pop open. I squint against the blinding fluorescent lights and blink several times to clear the fog.
"You just couldn't stay away, could ya?" Ah shit, now I'm gonna get it. I fear this guy more than I fear Faith. I am able to catch a quick glimpse of his face before I squeeze my eyes shut again - desperately trying to fight the tension that's gripping my head like a vice.
He looks surprisingly satisfied. I have no idea why. I don't think there's too much to celebrate right now. The wet compress is being removed, only to be replaced by a colder compliment. I automatically shudder again, the freezing water burns like fire.
"Officer, I want you to try and stay awake with me for a few minutes, okay?" his voice is softer now, and I can't help but feel like he's also attempting to invade my personal boundaries with his newfound sympathy. I thought he was different... Despite the anger that his pity sends shooting through my veins, I trust this guy's opinion more than anyone else I have met in this hellhole, so I try to be as obedient as possible.
The task doesn't prove to be easy. Against the complaints of my pounding head, I pry my eyes open again. The doc turns back to me and nods, "Good, now just try to stay that way for a second."
No bullshit with this guy. He grabs a light from somewhere behind my head and nods at the nurse, who, in response, removes the cloth from my forehead. He leans in towards me and shines the bright light into my eyes. After examining for several seconds, he clicks off the light and places one hand in the center of my chest.
"Do you have any pain here?"
There's pain everywhere, doc. However, I shake my head 'no' when I assess that the pain is no worse in that area than any other part of my body. He moves his hand to my left and presses slightly. I sharply inhale.
"Not so good there, huh?" I
shake my head again, and allow my eyes to drift close.
"No no no. I'm not done with you just yet. Just give me a couple more seconds of your time."
When he sees my eyes slowly open again, he quickly grabs the stethoscope from around his neck and presses it decisively against my chest. "A little shaky, there?" a subtle smile plays on his face.
I shift my gaze down in an attempt to comprehend what he's talking about. I see the stethoscope vibrating in unison with my body. I don't really see why that makes the doc smile, but I go along with it. Whatever turns your crank, doc.
"I want you to breathe in SLOWLY. Don't try to inhale too much. I don't need you to push it, just take it nice and slow."
I do my best to follow orders, but my chest gets tighter and tighter as the pressure increases. I begin to cough as a result, and the doc shakes his head while replacing the stethoscope around his neck, a blatant smile forming on his face.
"You just don't listen, do you?" I guess I can't argue with that. Listening isn't really one of my strong points.
Once I'm convinced my chest is done convulsing, I clear my throat, "You done?"
He turns back towards me and raises his eyebrows, "Am I keeping you from something?"
Why? Why do I always get the smart asses? I guess he notices I'm not in the mood because he nods sympathetically, "Go to sleep, Officer. God knows you need it."
He mumbles some medical terms to the nurse, who replaces the cloth on my forehead before injecting a clear substance into my IV. I wonder how long it has been since I woke up to find Faith sleeping. I wonder where she is... where's my Ma?
Eventually, I guess I'll get all my answers, and though I'm sick of waiting, sleep sounds damn good right now. Another cold wave passes through my entire body. The effects are minimized by the drugs the doc kindly administered. I can feel the warmth battling with the cold. I'm too tired to stay awake to find out who wins. I fall asleep to the sound of the young doc's voice, "No running away this time, Officer. I've hired guards."
TBC. Review, review, review ;) Thanks, guys!