Title: Gossip 2-So we don't talk about it
Author: Athena
Email: atheniandream@aol.com
Content Warnings: Angst, H.Comfortish
Pairings: S/J
Spoilers: HEROES. Major heroes.
Season: Seven
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jack's being scrutinised. Part TWO to GOSSIP.
Author's notes: Had to write it, just because I got so many "please a sequel"
Having a writer's crisis with my style, I@m putting it under the microscope.
Archive: Anywhere. I'm my own publicist.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. I know this.
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Gossip 2-So we don't talk about it
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TRY READING 'GOSSIP', the previous fic. I'll help ;)
You could read 'The Sky is broken', the funeral scene, that I thought shouldn't be seen in this story. Kind of like a 'missing scene-quel' (as apposed to a prequel etc ;)
Love me. I'm special. Lol.
BTW Katmellie, if you're reading this, I tried to write a happy fic...and was unable to make it past the title. Don't worry I'll try again. ;)
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
"Shall we go in there?"
"No. She needs time...with him."
"Does he know?"
"Not yet."
She frowned, taking in his appearance as sharply as a cold southern wind. The gash across his face was red and vicious-looking, but it was healing, albeit slowly. But she was worried about the bruise above his eye. It looked to be the worst feature of is face.
A gentle, almost non-existent trace of her finger stopped dead of his overturned wrist, watching his eyes flicker for a second, choosing to focus on the dim infirmary lights around them. He frowned, piercing his lips; a glinting expression traced her face, and for a moment she paused. Forgetting to ask him how he was.
"What are you doing here?" His voice was unusually hoarse and faint.
"I brought cake." She replied.
His eyebrow lifted to accommodate his gaze toward the slice of chocolate cake that propped almost, against the edge of the steel plate on the side table.
"What are you doing here?"
He replied with the usual sarcastic 'Jack O'Neill' laden groan. But some how it was more serious now, as of the pensive side of him had flicked a switch, leaving a lesser-known trace of the man who lay before her.
And she frowned, attempting to ignore his question and fawn over him for a minute.
"Do you hurt?" She asked him.
"Carter..."
"*Do* you hurt?"
"I got hit by a staff, Carter. Of course I hurt." He growled, reaching behind him to pull out a cushion that was sticking in his back and stopping him from sitting up. Sighing, she intercepted immediately, helping him to lean against the back of the bed as he all but yelped at the discomfort in his chest.
"Carter, we have nurses for this."
"I know. I wanted to do it."
Averting her attention from his suspicious, frowning gaze, her fingers came to work on the folded hospital corner.
*What was she to tell him?* She thought. She knew that he had known about Janet's death before her was hit, and right now she couldn't bare to talk about that, it was to freshly set in her mind, the pain, the blood, the sheer memory of it was piercing her mind and her heart with every breath she took.
But right now, even Janet's death, the camera crews accusations, all of it were playing second to what she had to tell him.
And he was Jack O'Neill after all, rash, abusive, stubborn and vigilant. And Soldiers like him, warriors like him; they never fall, never falter or displace themselves in 'the field'. They weren't allowed to, and refused to, unless the tug of war was winning, and a soldier could be seen slipping into the mud...
Was this the time?
"So, are you going to tell me what this is about?"
He asked her directly, wriggling his back against his the propped up pillows.
He eyes followed to his lips, and she could only dream of answering in those few seconds. Instead she chose silence, her chin quivered a little and the sound in her throat silenced into a short clicking sound.
"I don't want you to do this anymore..."
"Do what?"
"Go Off-world. You're slipping."
"I'm what?" His eyebrows raised, not quite believing what she'd just said, had actually come out of her mouth.
"I've it entered it into my report to General Hammond. You're not fit for duty anymore. Either you leave, or I do."
In a moment of mental blindness, Jack totally side-skipped the 'either you leave, or I do' part of the conversation,
"I'm unfit for duty? Carter, try not to forget, I'm *am* your superior officer." The anger in his voice grew with every extra syllable that coursed his lips. "The doctors say when I'm not fit for duty."
"I just had a talk with Dr Fenwick, Colonel. And he agrees with me." She couldn't make his eyes, and settled for the hospital corner at the end of the bed. "In fact, I found out, the General has been clearing you for duty for the past six months. Seeing how important the team is, I guess he didn't want to risk losing Earth just because-you're getting old."
"Then why aggravate it? Huh? If the General wants me out there, and I want to be out there, then why the hell not?"
"Because I don't want you out there." She said, blinking at him.
Blinking furiously, he tried to reason with her. But she was rubbing him out of a job that he loved, a job that seven years ago he'd been called back from retirement to do,
And it seemed to have been taken from him at such a speed, and from the one person who he thought understood him.
"Look, can you try and not be angry with me I'm just-"
"Just what?" He interrupted, his eyes boring into hers with such disbelief that it made her shake. "Trying to help. Trying to save me dying out there. I've almost died a hundred times, Carter; it doesn't bother me anymore. And I thought you would understand that, but you're talking away my life. What are they gonna do? Shove me on some desk job where I get to sit and fill out memos for the big guys, and you expect me to not GET ANGRY?" shrugging bitterly at the last of his last question, more rhetorical then otherwise, he refused from then on to make eye contact with her or any part of her face, and chose to frown at the wall in front of him.
She didn't look at him either, trying to solidify the tears behind her eyes; she glanced at everything else that was around him, even the bedpan that hadn't yet been used,
"I don't want to have to drag your body through gate one day, Jack. I can't do it, but I know that I will do, if you continue like this."
"Then that's your problem Carter." He retorted. "If you can't handle the strain then *you* should leave. But don't punish me just because you can't handle the strain."
Sam's face contorted slightly, tears fighting not to pour down her face, and yet acknowledging that she was a soldier and she should be hard to this by now. But with him, and whether he was concerned, she was losing it. Getting closer to the edge of worrying about him constantly, and looking over him and his stubbornness. She knew that one day she'd have to take his place, but she also knew that he wouldn't give up without a fight.
"You're right."
"What?"
"You're right. I can't deal. I that case, you've left my choice, but to resign as 2IC. Good day. Colonel. Get well." She replied with the strict formality that he hadn't for years, and then left swiftly.
*What the hell had gotten in to her?* he thought, despair and doubt lingering within the depth of his mind. Where was *his* Carter? She wouldn't have done this to him. She would have stayed with him until he was on his knees, and EVEN then, she wouldn't have left his side.
He couldn't believe how in the turn of five minutes, he'd gone from dumb-ass staff-blast victim, to desk-guy in one fail swoop.
Cause of Career's death=Samantha Carter.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
A rap at General Hammond's office rumbled the door as Sam waited to reply.
"Come in." She heard the muffled reply and entered slowly, curling her fingers around the letter in her hand.
"Major, come in. Can I help you?" He welcomed her in his usual manner, indicating the Carter opposite him, for her to sit down.
She didn't sit down, and instead leant over the chair to place the piece of paper right in front of him.
He immediately read the first few lines. "What's this Major?" He frowned, shaking his head lightly and pushing the paper aside.
She stiffened standing straight. "It's my resignation sir."
"This should be given to your superior officer."
"Well, seen as Colonel O'Neill is currently out of action, I thought it better to give it to you, Sir."
"Look, sit down. I wanted to talk to you about the resent events that have taken place here. I'm sorry for the loss of Doctor Fraser. I know she meant a great deal to you."
"Thank you Sir."
"And I understand that some of the Camera crew have been giving you a hard time; concerning a certain matter not quite at hand?"
She couldn't even play dumb right now, every thought in her mind had clouded her vision to conflict the truth form coming out. But at least he knew her well enough not to press the 'Janet' part of her conscience, without receiving some verbal disarray.
"Yes Sir."
She paused for a second, before continuing.
"A member caught me in the halls, just as The Colonel was being wheeled to the Infirmary," Taking in a breath to steady her nerves, she continued. "He...accused me of, of having a more than 'special relationship' with Colonel O'Neill. He said that there had been claims, made about us, he said that people talking about us as if we were..."
"Acting without protocol?" He hit the nail on the head.
However, she would have labelled it differently, but the words were accurate enough. At the time she'd been so worried about Jack and yet so furious at the man asking her questions and intruding into her life that she didn't react in the best way.
"I didn't know what to say, which didn't really look great on camera I suppose." She admitted, frankly right now, she was too emotionally exhausted to argue, defend or hide.
"Major, can I ask you something? Off the record..."
"Yes Sir?"
"Do you love him?"
"I don't know."
"Do you love him Sam?"
For second, she thought that she had to really ask herself the question. Did she, did she love him? Really, completely love him, without haste, or exception?
"I'd be stupid, if I said I hadn't played into the 'Jack O'Neill' charm. He's cute, and he fumbles, and he never says the right thing, and he's forever upsetting me, and he snores, like he's had a train's been implanted in his nose. And he's more stubborn than my Dad, and he stares at my as- Yes, maybe I do. But don't misunderstand me. This is not about that. I just don't want to see another person I care about die, just because they're too stubborn to let go." His later comment suddenly resonated in her head. Is it really that obvious?"
"No, no of course not. But I know you two. And I know how you two operate. You're too damn loyal to your jobs to take it further and too damn stubborn to talk about it. I understand that Sam, really I do." She felt a 'but' coming... "But, Jack? He was put on this earth to protect. If you take that away from him, he'll never forgive you. He'll never forgive any of us."
She was silent again, completely listening to his words, waiting for him to continue.
"He's not a 'desk-job' guy. And I've sometimes wondered, why he hasn't left the SGC for you. He loves you, that much I can tell. But maybe the reason why he won't leave, besides loving what he does isn't so different."
"You mean he wants to protect me as much I do him?" She wasn't as much asking the question as she was clarifying that answer and then trying to understand it in cliché Carter fashion...
"Knew you were bright." He joked, chuckling to himself in his distinct Texan accent.
"Look Sam, I can't really afford to split you four up. Sg-1 is the only team that is able to get through the gate alive these days. I know Jack isn't making it up in the fitness levels, but he's the best leader I've ever known you know that?" his tone changed from stern, becoming softly and quieter, as he asked her. "Do you think you can manage that?"
"Truthfully? Right know now, no." She too chuckled to herself, as if to lessen the pain passing through her body. Maybe it'll return in time, I guess I'm just panicking. When my mother died, I pleaded with my Father to leave the Air Force, came clean to ripping my hair out, just so he'd stay, but then I saw that I couldn't prevent him from dying, no more than I could bring my mother back. I guess history is just repeating itself again..."
As she stood up to leave, a hand came in contact with her arm. "If you ever want to talk Major, you know where my office is."
"Thank you Sir."
She was still worried as hell about the Colonel. But everything the General had said was right. If he was going to die, he was going to die, and she couldn't prevent it at any cost. So she would have to do what any good Second in Command would do. Stand behind him, and pick up the pieces.
"And Major. I'll have a little chat with Jack, once he's up to strength."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The General thought it best that they wait for Jack to recover before having any sort of funeral, besides their formal goodbye. That way they could all say goodbye to their friend together.
"So. It's over, huh?" Daniel asked Jack and Teal'c both sat either side of him.
"I do believe it is, Daniel Jackson. From now on we must remember Dr Fraser with the bravery that she showed us before she died."
"Well said T. Where's Carter?" Jack asked immediately, to neither Daniel nor Tealc's surprise.
"Uh, she's with Cassie."
"How is she?"
"Sam?"
"No. Cassie. How is she?"
""Well, I don't know Jack. She's at her foster Mother's funeral, having already mourned the death of her real parents." Daniel had immediately caught the wrong end of Jack's comment. "How do you think she is?"
And Jack had immediately retorted "Really Daniel? Dead Parents? I didn't know that, thanks for informing me!" Came Jack's sarcastic jibe.
"Boys, can you not do this right now?" All three heads turned to Sam who was hand in hand with a red eyed Cassie. "Can't I leave you three alone for one second?"
"Sorry." Came Daniel's voice.
"Sorry." And finally Jack's short apology followed.
"I was not involved in the dispute." Teal'c raised his head, dismissive of the other two 'children' on the end.
"Teal'c, I asked you to watch over them, you're just as bad as they are."
"Let's go home." Cassie interrupted them so quietly that it was a miracle that they even heard. "All of us."
As they got up to walk, Sam realised something. They had all lost someone, whether it was one person or a line of people.
For Daniel, it was his Parents, Sha're, and Sarah, was as good as dead.
For Teal'c, it was his parents, his wife, not accounting for past love of his.
For the Colonel, he'd lost his Son; he'd lost Ska'ra for at time, and his own parents.
And for herself? Well, it didn't bare going through the list of people that she'd loved and lost. But in releasing the people that they'd lost in their lives, it seemed to turn the day even sourer. Even more doubtful, and even more close.
They all needed each other.
Cassie needed Sam.
Sam needed Jack.
Jack needed...well he needed Sam, but Daniel was a definitely a great help.
Daniel would be dead if it weren't for Teal'c.
And Teal'c, well he didn't really need anyone, but he sure thought they were all cool.
Maybe they could only survive through each other, by sticking together and not going their separate ways?
Drifting out of her thoughts, Sam felt a nudge beside her as the five of them walked towards the car, and felt the urge to look up. And there he was, a weary look on his face, and biting his lip as usual. Looking down he had his hands in his trench coat, hiding half of his face in the collar, which was upright and shielding him from the wind tousling itself around them as they walked.
"You okay?" He mumbled towards her, to which she immediately smiled as best that she could.
"Yea. I'm okay. Are you okay?" She forgot to acknowledge how dumb the comment sounded, and so ignored it almost entirely.
"Yea. I'm fine. Had a little chat with Hammond this morning..." He raised an eyebrow a little as if to indicate something that he'd rather not say...
"Oh." She replied, a trying not to look shocked or uncomfortable. "How was it?"
"Okay. He hasn't fired me yet, which is bonus. So he asked you not to leave, huh?"
"Uh, yea. I promised him I wouldn't." The other three of them petered off as Daniel found his car keys, and Cassie stayed with Teal'c in front, leaving Sam and Jack to hang back for a second. "He seemed to think I was important." She held her breath, hoping that he'd a least reply. You know, let her off the hook a little.
"You are important Carter, you know that." He said with an almost forced breath, wincing at the wind blustering past him again.
"Do I?"
"Carter, don't start."
"Well I don't know that. You never say it..." She was completely milking the conversation for all it was worth, considering the circumstances she needed to hear it.
"Samantha Carter, you are important to me. Okay?"
"How important, I mean, in like meters or litres or?"
Now her was almost sure she was pushing him to commit to something, anything to make her feel better, which it turn just made him feel nervous.
"Tons."
"Tons. Is that it?" The first smile of the afternoon broke out on her face, accompanied by a watery laugh. "You're going to have to do better than that..." She crept slowly towards him, shoving her hands in her pockets; she looked at him plainly, knowing that it always provoked a reaction in him.
"Very much?"
He edged even closer, feeling her breath mingle with the air around him as it swept past his face, he waited for her next answer.
"Uh-uh." She shook her head, now playing with his emotions entirely, she pouted a little, fluttering her eyelashes just a touch...
"Too much?"
"Eh...it's..." Wrinkling her nose, and now very aware that he was inches, centimetres, and closing on millimetres away from him.
"Completely?"
"I live with that..."
She smiled slowly, until her awareness drew her upward, she lengthened her neck, taking a second to close her eyes. Then, feeling him so close to her, she let out a breath.
"Guys. We're ready lets go." Daniel called from the car as their ears tuned to the sound of the engine humming.
They broke apart. Looking straight at the car as the neared to it.
"What were you guys doing?" Daniel huffed in the from drivers seat, as the two of them clambered into the back, Jack following Sam as she sat next to Cassie.
"Taking our time Daniel." Jack replied.
For a moment, Sam stiffened, thinking that she'd felt jacks knuckles rub smoothly against hers.
That was, until it happened again. She immediately looked down to where his fingers were at that very moment curling around hers and she looked up, studying his gaze, which seemed simple, as his lips curled into a smile, hand tightening along with it.
He really was an evil man when he wanted to be...
"Cass?" She whispered beside her, wrapping her arm around the young girls shoulders. "You okay?"
"Yea, I'm fine. You okay?"
She glanced at Jack who replied by squeezing her hand a touch.
"Yea. I'm fine."
And you know what?
She was...if only for a little while.
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Did you like?
Sorry it's been so long. Getting those fits of writing in my head.
Athena
MY FIC CORNER: http://www.fanfiction.net/~atheniandream
Author: Athena
Email: atheniandream@aol.com
Content Warnings: Angst, H.Comfortish
Pairings: S/J
Spoilers: HEROES. Major heroes.
Season: Seven
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jack's being scrutinised. Part TWO to GOSSIP.
Author's notes: Had to write it, just because I got so many "please a sequel"
Having a writer's crisis with my style, I@m putting it under the microscope.
Archive: Anywhere. I'm my own publicist.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. I know this.
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Gossip 2-So we don't talk about it
------------------------------------
TRY READING 'GOSSIP', the previous fic. I'll help ;)
You could read 'The Sky is broken', the funeral scene, that I thought shouldn't be seen in this story. Kind of like a 'missing scene-quel' (as apposed to a prequel etc ;)
Love me. I'm special. Lol.
BTW Katmellie, if you're reading this, I tried to write a happy fic...and was unable to make it past the title. Don't worry I'll try again. ;)
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"Shall we go in there?"
"No. She needs time...with him."
"Does he know?"
"Not yet."
She frowned, taking in his appearance as sharply as a cold southern wind. The gash across his face was red and vicious-looking, but it was healing, albeit slowly. But she was worried about the bruise above his eye. It looked to be the worst feature of is face.
A gentle, almost non-existent trace of her finger stopped dead of his overturned wrist, watching his eyes flicker for a second, choosing to focus on the dim infirmary lights around them. He frowned, piercing his lips; a glinting expression traced her face, and for a moment she paused. Forgetting to ask him how he was.
"What are you doing here?" His voice was unusually hoarse and faint.
"I brought cake." She replied.
His eyebrow lifted to accommodate his gaze toward the slice of chocolate cake that propped almost, against the edge of the steel plate on the side table.
"What are you doing here?"
He replied with the usual sarcastic 'Jack O'Neill' laden groan. But some how it was more serious now, as of the pensive side of him had flicked a switch, leaving a lesser-known trace of the man who lay before her.
And she frowned, attempting to ignore his question and fawn over him for a minute.
"Do you hurt?" She asked him.
"Carter..."
"*Do* you hurt?"
"I got hit by a staff, Carter. Of course I hurt." He growled, reaching behind him to pull out a cushion that was sticking in his back and stopping him from sitting up. Sighing, she intercepted immediately, helping him to lean against the back of the bed as he all but yelped at the discomfort in his chest.
"Carter, we have nurses for this."
"I know. I wanted to do it."
Averting her attention from his suspicious, frowning gaze, her fingers came to work on the folded hospital corner.
*What was she to tell him?* She thought. She knew that he had known about Janet's death before her was hit, and right now she couldn't bare to talk about that, it was to freshly set in her mind, the pain, the blood, the sheer memory of it was piercing her mind and her heart with every breath she took.
But right now, even Janet's death, the camera crews accusations, all of it were playing second to what she had to tell him.
And he was Jack O'Neill after all, rash, abusive, stubborn and vigilant. And Soldiers like him, warriors like him; they never fall, never falter or displace themselves in 'the field'. They weren't allowed to, and refused to, unless the tug of war was winning, and a soldier could be seen slipping into the mud...
Was this the time?
"So, are you going to tell me what this is about?"
He asked her directly, wriggling his back against his the propped up pillows.
He eyes followed to his lips, and she could only dream of answering in those few seconds. Instead she chose silence, her chin quivered a little and the sound in her throat silenced into a short clicking sound.
"I don't want you to do this anymore..."
"Do what?"
"Go Off-world. You're slipping."
"I'm what?" His eyebrows raised, not quite believing what she'd just said, had actually come out of her mouth.
"I've it entered it into my report to General Hammond. You're not fit for duty anymore. Either you leave, or I do."
In a moment of mental blindness, Jack totally side-skipped the 'either you leave, or I do' part of the conversation,
"I'm unfit for duty? Carter, try not to forget, I'm *am* your superior officer." The anger in his voice grew with every extra syllable that coursed his lips. "The doctors say when I'm not fit for duty."
"I just had a talk with Dr Fenwick, Colonel. And he agrees with me." She couldn't make his eyes, and settled for the hospital corner at the end of the bed. "In fact, I found out, the General has been clearing you for duty for the past six months. Seeing how important the team is, I guess he didn't want to risk losing Earth just because-you're getting old."
"Then why aggravate it? Huh? If the General wants me out there, and I want to be out there, then why the hell not?"
"Because I don't want you out there." She said, blinking at him.
Blinking furiously, he tried to reason with her. But she was rubbing him out of a job that he loved, a job that seven years ago he'd been called back from retirement to do,
And it seemed to have been taken from him at such a speed, and from the one person who he thought understood him.
"Look, can you try and not be angry with me I'm just-"
"Just what?" He interrupted, his eyes boring into hers with such disbelief that it made her shake. "Trying to help. Trying to save me dying out there. I've almost died a hundred times, Carter; it doesn't bother me anymore. And I thought you would understand that, but you're talking away my life. What are they gonna do? Shove me on some desk job where I get to sit and fill out memos for the big guys, and you expect me to not GET ANGRY?" shrugging bitterly at the last of his last question, more rhetorical then otherwise, he refused from then on to make eye contact with her or any part of her face, and chose to frown at the wall in front of him.
She didn't look at him either, trying to solidify the tears behind her eyes; she glanced at everything else that was around him, even the bedpan that hadn't yet been used,
"I don't want to have to drag your body through gate one day, Jack. I can't do it, but I know that I will do, if you continue like this."
"Then that's your problem Carter." He retorted. "If you can't handle the strain then *you* should leave. But don't punish me just because you can't handle the strain."
Sam's face contorted slightly, tears fighting not to pour down her face, and yet acknowledging that she was a soldier and she should be hard to this by now. But with him, and whether he was concerned, she was losing it. Getting closer to the edge of worrying about him constantly, and looking over him and his stubbornness. She knew that one day she'd have to take his place, but she also knew that he wouldn't give up without a fight.
"You're right."
"What?"
"You're right. I can't deal. I that case, you've left my choice, but to resign as 2IC. Good day. Colonel. Get well." She replied with the strict formality that he hadn't for years, and then left swiftly.
*What the hell had gotten in to her?* he thought, despair and doubt lingering within the depth of his mind. Where was *his* Carter? She wouldn't have done this to him. She would have stayed with him until he was on his knees, and EVEN then, she wouldn't have left his side.
He couldn't believe how in the turn of five minutes, he'd gone from dumb-ass staff-blast victim, to desk-guy in one fail swoop.
Cause of Career's death=Samantha Carter.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
A rap at General Hammond's office rumbled the door as Sam waited to reply.
"Come in." She heard the muffled reply and entered slowly, curling her fingers around the letter in her hand.
"Major, come in. Can I help you?" He welcomed her in his usual manner, indicating the Carter opposite him, for her to sit down.
She didn't sit down, and instead leant over the chair to place the piece of paper right in front of him.
He immediately read the first few lines. "What's this Major?" He frowned, shaking his head lightly and pushing the paper aside.
She stiffened standing straight. "It's my resignation sir."
"This should be given to your superior officer."
"Well, seen as Colonel O'Neill is currently out of action, I thought it better to give it to you, Sir."
"Look, sit down. I wanted to talk to you about the resent events that have taken place here. I'm sorry for the loss of Doctor Fraser. I know she meant a great deal to you."
"Thank you Sir."
"And I understand that some of the Camera crew have been giving you a hard time; concerning a certain matter not quite at hand?"
She couldn't even play dumb right now, every thought in her mind had clouded her vision to conflict the truth form coming out. But at least he knew her well enough not to press the 'Janet' part of her conscience, without receiving some verbal disarray.
"Yes Sir."
She paused for a second, before continuing.
"A member caught me in the halls, just as The Colonel was being wheeled to the Infirmary," Taking in a breath to steady her nerves, she continued. "He...accused me of, of having a more than 'special relationship' with Colonel O'Neill. He said that there had been claims, made about us, he said that people talking about us as if we were..."
"Acting without protocol?" He hit the nail on the head.
However, she would have labelled it differently, but the words were accurate enough. At the time she'd been so worried about Jack and yet so furious at the man asking her questions and intruding into her life that she didn't react in the best way.
"I didn't know what to say, which didn't really look great on camera I suppose." She admitted, frankly right now, she was too emotionally exhausted to argue, defend or hide.
"Major, can I ask you something? Off the record..."
"Yes Sir?"
"Do you love him?"
"I don't know."
"Do you love him Sam?"
For second, she thought that she had to really ask herself the question. Did she, did she love him? Really, completely love him, without haste, or exception?
"I'd be stupid, if I said I hadn't played into the 'Jack O'Neill' charm. He's cute, and he fumbles, and he never says the right thing, and he's forever upsetting me, and he snores, like he's had a train's been implanted in his nose. And he's more stubborn than my Dad, and he stares at my as- Yes, maybe I do. But don't misunderstand me. This is not about that. I just don't want to see another person I care about die, just because they're too stubborn to let go." His later comment suddenly resonated in her head. Is it really that obvious?"
"No, no of course not. But I know you two. And I know how you two operate. You're too damn loyal to your jobs to take it further and too damn stubborn to talk about it. I understand that Sam, really I do." She felt a 'but' coming... "But, Jack? He was put on this earth to protect. If you take that away from him, he'll never forgive you. He'll never forgive any of us."
She was silent again, completely listening to his words, waiting for him to continue.
"He's not a 'desk-job' guy. And I've sometimes wondered, why he hasn't left the SGC for you. He loves you, that much I can tell. But maybe the reason why he won't leave, besides loving what he does isn't so different."
"You mean he wants to protect me as much I do him?" She wasn't as much asking the question as she was clarifying that answer and then trying to understand it in cliché Carter fashion...
"Knew you were bright." He joked, chuckling to himself in his distinct Texan accent.
"Look Sam, I can't really afford to split you four up. Sg-1 is the only team that is able to get through the gate alive these days. I know Jack isn't making it up in the fitness levels, but he's the best leader I've ever known you know that?" his tone changed from stern, becoming softly and quieter, as he asked her. "Do you think you can manage that?"
"Truthfully? Right know now, no." She too chuckled to herself, as if to lessen the pain passing through her body. Maybe it'll return in time, I guess I'm just panicking. When my mother died, I pleaded with my Father to leave the Air Force, came clean to ripping my hair out, just so he'd stay, but then I saw that I couldn't prevent him from dying, no more than I could bring my mother back. I guess history is just repeating itself again..."
As she stood up to leave, a hand came in contact with her arm. "If you ever want to talk Major, you know where my office is."
"Thank you Sir."
She was still worried as hell about the Colonel. But everything the General had said was right. If he was going to die, he was going to die, and she couldn't prevent it at any cost. So she would have to do what any good Second in Command would do. Stand behind him, and pick up the pieces.
"And Major. I'll have a little chat with Jack, once he's up to strength."
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The General thought it best that they wait for Jack to recover before having any sort of funeral, besides their formal goodbye. That way they could all say goodbye to their friend together.
"So. It's over, huh?" Daniel asked Jack and Teal'c both sat either side of him.
"I do believe it is, Daniel Jackson. From now on we must remember Dr Fraser with the bravery that she showed us before she died."
"Well said T. Where's Carter?" Jack asked immediately, to neither Daniel nor Tealc's surprise.
"Uh, she's with Cassie."
"How is she?"
"Sam?"
"No. Cassie. How is she?"
""Well, I don't know Jack. She's at her foster Mother's funeral, having already mourned the death of her real parents." Daniel had immediately caught the wrong end of Jack's comment. "How do you think she is?"
And Jack had immediately retorted "Really Daniel? Dead Parents? I didn't know that, thanks for informing me!" Came Jack's sarcastic jibe.
"Boys, can you not do this right now?" All three heads turned to Sam who was hand in hand with a red eyed Cassie. "Can't I leave you three alone for one second?"
"Sorry." Came Daniel's voice.
"Sorry." And finally Jack's short apology followed.
"I was not involved in the dispute." Teal'c raised his head, dismissive of the other two 'children' on the end.
"Teal'c, I asked you to watch over them, you're just as bad as they are."
"Let's go home." Cassie interrupted them so quietly that it was a miracle that they even heard. "All of us."
As they got up to walk, Sam realised something. They had all lost someone, whether it was one person or a line of people.
For Daniel, it was his Parents, Sha're, and Sarah, was as good as dead.
For Teal'c, it was his parents, his wife, not accounting for past love of his.
For the Colonel, he'd lost his Son; he'd lost Ska'ra for at time, and his own parents.
And for herself? Well, it didn't bare going through the list of people that she'd loved and lost. But in releasing the people that they'd lost in their lives, it seemed to turn the day even sourer. Even more doubtful, and even more close.
They all needed each other.
Cassie needed Sam.
Sam needed Jack.
Jack needed...well he needed Sam, but Daniel was a definitely a great help.
Daniel would be dead if it weren't for Teal'c.
And Teal'c, well he didn't really need anyone, but he sure thought they were all cool.
Maybe they could only survive through each other, by sticking together and not going their separate ways?
Drifting out of her thoughts, Sam felt a nudge beside her as the five of them walked towards the car, and felt the urge to look up. And there he was, a weary look on his face, and biting his lip as usual. Looking down he had his hands in his trench coat, hiding half of his face in the collar, which was upright and shielding him from the wind tousling itself around them as they walked.
"You okay?" He mumbled towards her, to which she immediately smiled as best that she could.
"Yea. I'm okay. Are you okay?" She forgot to acknowledge how dumb the comment sounded, and so ignored it almost entirely.
"Yea. I'm fine. Had a little chat with Hammond this morning..." He raised an eyebrow a little as if to indicate something that he'd rather not say...
"Oh." She replied, a trying not to look shocked or uncomfortable. "How was it?"
"Okay. He hasn't fired me yet, which is bonus. So he asked you not to leave, huh?"
"Uh, yea. I promised him I wouldn't." The other three of them petered off as Daniel found his car keys, and Cassie stayed with Teal'c in front, leaving Sam and Jack to hang back for a second. "He seemed to think I was important." She held her breath, hoping that he'd a least reply. You know, let her off the hook a little.
"You are important Carter, you know that." He said with an almost forced breath, wincing at the wind blustering past him again.
"Do I?"
"Carter, don't start."
"Well I don't know that. You never say it..." She was completely milking the conversation for all it was worth, considering the circumstances she needed to hear it.
"Samantha Carter, you are important to me. Okay?"
"How important, I mean, in like meters or litres or?"
Now her was almost sure she was pushing him to commit to something, anything to make her feel better, which it turn just made him feel nervous.
"Tons."
"Tons. Is that it?" The first smile of the afternoon broke out on her face, accompanied by a watery laugh. "You're going to have to do better than that..." She crept slowly towards him, shoving her hands in her pockets; she looked at him plainly, knowing that it always provoked a reaction in him.
"Very much?"
He edged even closer, feeling her breath mingle with the air around him as it swept past his face, he waited for her next answer.
"Uh-uh." She shook her head, now playing with his emotions entirely, she pouted a little, fluttering her eyelashes just a touch...
"Too much?"
"Eh...it's..." Wrinkling her nose, and now very aware that he was inches, centimetres, and closing on millimetres away from him.
"Completely?"
"I live with that..."
She smiled slowly, until her awareness drew her upward, she lengthened her neck, taking a second to close her eyes. Then, feeling him so close to her, she let out a breath.
"Guys. We're ready lets go." Daniel called from the car as their ears tuned to the sound of the engine humming.
They broke apart. Looking straight at the car as the neared to it.
"What were you guys doing?" Daniel huffed in the from drivers seat, as the two of them clambered into the back, Jack following Sam as she sat next to Cassie.
"Taking our time Daniel." Jack replied.
For a moment, Sam stiffened, thinking that she'd felt jacks knuckles rub smoothly against hers.
That was, until it happened again. She immediately looked down to where his fingers were at that very moment curling around hers and she looked up, studying his gaze, which seemed simple, as his lips curled into a smile, hand tightening along with it.
He really was an evil man when he wanted to be...
"Cass?" She whispered beside her, wrapping her arm around the young girls shoulders. "You okay?"
"Yea, I'm fine. You okay?"
She glanced at Jack who replied by squeezing her hand a touch.
"Yea. I'm fine."
And you know what?
She was...if only for a little while.
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Did you like?
Sorry it's been so long. Getting those fits of writing in my head.
Athena
MY FIC CORNER: http://www.fanfiction.net/~atheniandream