Chapter 11: After the Fire
Padfoot's Story
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.
Not much to say, except that I hope you like it and please review at the end.
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Sirius woke up instantly. It was as though someone had slapped him in the face.
Something red was swishing around above him. With a rush he realized that the Room of Rebellion was on fire!
Weakly, he started crying out the last thing he remembered saying: "Sami! Sami, where are you? Please, someone has to come, she can't die--"
Then he opened his eyes.
He was in the hospital wing. He was wrapped in stiff blankets and white bandages covered the upper half of his body. Some kind of purple ointment seemed to be oozing out from under them. His entire body ached.
Lily's long sheet of fiery hair was swinging over his face. It looked like she was trying to restrain James from shaking him. Remus and Peter were also there, as well as a girl Sirius didn't know who was seated on Remus' left and was gripping his hand tightly. The chairs they were sitting in surrounded Sirius's bed.
James' eyes grew wide and Lily turned her face. "Ohmigod, Sirius!" she breathed and hugged him tightly. She must have warmed up to him extremely quickly. Sirius grunted. The pressure she was putting on his back was starting to hurt him. But he wanted to be held.
She released him and wiped her eyes, which were starting to fill with tears. Sirius moved his gaze to James. James grinned shiftily and ran his fingers through his hair, but refused to meet Sirius's eye. Sirius could tell from the expressions on his other friends' faces that they were also feeling awkward.
"Where's Sami?" he asked quietly, dreading the answer. The silence spiraled horribly. Sirius felt as if he was going to drown in it.
No one wanted to look at him.
Finally Lily answered. "Oh Sirius . . ." she said, and Sirius could tell that she was trying very hard to choke back a sob, "She . . .she didn'tmakeit." She said the last few words very quickly.
The silence after this was suffocating. Sirius couldn't breathe; it was harder to breathe here than it had been when the Room of Rebellion had been filled with smoke. Lily had bit her lip and turned away. James had his arms around her. Then something in Sirius's mind snapped.
"NO!" he yelled, and he kicked off his sheets and leapt out of bed. James, Lily and the others seemed frozen in shock.
"NO!" he repeated, looking wildly around the hospital wing. "THAT'S NOT TRUE! SHE'S HERE, SHE'S FINE, SOMEONE CAME AND SAVED HER OR SHE ESCAPED OR-- WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE SHE'S--?" He couldn't finish. He was still looking around as if he expected to see Sami sitting in one of the hospital beds, smiling at him with laughter in her eyes. But she wasn't there. Sirius was starting to attract strange looks from the other people in the hospital wing.
"No," he said again, but more softly. His chest was heaving. Everyone around his bed was staring at the floor except Lily, who was looking at him with tears pouring down her cheeks, and James, who stood up and put his hand on Sirius's shoulder.
"We're sorry, mate," he said helplessly. "She didn't deserve it. We know how you felt about her."
Sirius was still panting. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. It hurt deep down every time his heart beat. He refused to cry.
"She was a good friend," said the girl next to Remus. "I'm not the most popular person out there, but she was always friendly. It hurts, okay? She was my cousin's best friend. Lily's gonna miss her as much as you will."
James guided Sirius back to his bed and gently helped him to lie down. Then he sat down and put his arms around Lily again.
"When they brought you in last night and called us all down here," said Remus in a strained voice, "It was really horrible. We thought we were going to lose you too. We never realized you'd disappeared or anything, the party went on for so long. And then we found out you'd almost died . . ." He looked away.
"When Dumbledore explained what had happened, he seemed to know we all knew about the Order." Lily said quietly. "He told us not to question you. He told us everything he knew-- that your cousin, Bellatrix, used Polyjuice Potion to pretend she was Sami and force you to come to the meeting with her, where she was supposed to kill the real Sami because she was using her Animagus form to spy on Voldemort. And that she tried to kill both of you, but somehow missed. Dumbledore thinks it's because of the bottle on your nightstand." Sirius looked over at the miniscule owl-shaped bottle. He reached out and placed it back over his head around his neck. "We've been sitting here since the crack of dawn praying you'd wake up. Madam Promfrey told us you'd be alright, but . . .we thought we were going to lose you too."
There was another long period of complete silence after this.
"Never forget her, Padfoot," said James finally, "but at some point you're going to have to let her go."
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Lily, James, Remus and the others didn't leave his side for the rest of the day except when Professor Dumbledore came in to see him. He sat down in one of the empty chairs next to Sirius and gazed at with his clear blue eyes, but Sirius didn't return the gaze. Instead he leaned back into his pillow, crossed his arms, and examined the pattern on his pajama bottoms. Neither of them said anything for a while. Sirius ended up speaking first.
"If you knew where I was and what Bellatrix was doing, why didn't you come and stop her?"
Dumbledore sighed. "The only thing I knew for sure was that Lord Voldemort suspected that I might have a spy that was stealing information for me right under his nose. I warned Sami to be careful about how often she used her Animagus form, to fade into the background a little more and be more discreet. But I fear that she was slightly more reckless than she should have been." He looked out the window for a moment. "Being an Animagus is something you have to work hard for, and once you have accomplished the transformation you shouldn't abuse it. You have to be careful. Sami learned that the hard way." Sirius closed his eyes tightly. Did Dumbledore know? He found he didn't care very much anymore. None of that seemed important.
Sirius looked up and met Professor Dumbleore's eyes.
"So . . .what did you find when you got to the meeting?"
"The flames were not very powerful; they were dying out-- perhaps from lack of oxygen left in the room. You were unconscious. The smoke was still heavy, though. With the help of the rest of the Order we were able to fan most of it away up the chute. I had Hagrid bring you here immediately and call the people you are closest to down to the hospital wing. Lily and her cousin insisted on coming with James and Remus. I stayed behind to inspect the damage. The map was still intact. The flames had stopped just short of you, but the heat gave you moderate burns on your chest and arms. I saw Bellatrix running off the grounds. Mad-Eye Moody went to try and catch her, but had no luck. He had been assigned to her capture and arrest by the Ministry of Magic."
Sirius felt a savage rush of hatred towards his cousin.
"She was enjoying herself," he spat bitterly. "My family is so obsessed with the pure-blood trash, they think you've got the wrong idea and I can't stand it anymore! Just because Sami was muggle-born Bella thought she was better? Well, Sami was a better witch than she'll ever be, the filthy Death-Eater. . .Hey, wait a minute! Bella said there are other Death Eaters here!"
Professor Dumbledore rubbed his forehead with his palm. "The Order is currently working on that problem. There are suspects, of course, but we don't have any solid evidence. If we find any, we will take certain measures to-- er-- expel and possibly arrest students. Alastor suspects the Dark Lord marks his followers in some way."
"Why don't you just chuck all the Slytherins out, that should take care of the problem," Sirius growled.
"You know I can't do that," Dumbledore replied gently. Sirius pounded his pillow with his fists.
"Madam Promfrey wishes you to remain here for a week or so, until your burns have healed. That will still give you time to study for your N.E.W.T.s, if you wish to do so." His eyes twinkled behind his glasses. He stood up and turned to go.
"What about Sami? Will there be a funeral or anything?" Sirius blurted.
"She-- her body was never found," Dumbledore said slowly. "I will inform the school what happened and tell them not to question you, but I won't say anything about the Order. I'm very sorry about all this. Sami did know what she was getting into when she joined though, I made sure of that. This is why the Order is so important."
He walked to the end of the ward and paused with his hand on the doorknob.
"Do you think you will still join the Order after you graduate?" he asked carefully.
"Of course," said Sirius coldly. "I won't rest until my cousin is sorry for what she's done."
Then he opened his eyes and found himself in his bedroom, with Buckbeak clicking his beak in the corner.
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Reviews, please. Kind of depressing, but it had to be written. . .
~*Padfoot-dreamer*~