Chapter 12: Back to the Present
Padfoot's Story
Disclaimer: In this Chapter, absolutely nothing belongs to me.
Thanks to IntricateOne, MarauderGurl, and shadows13 for their reviews.
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Sirius stared at his depressing ceiling as gloom began to settle over his heart.
His seventh year . . .it should have been the greatest year of his life. Taking N.E.W.T classes, being the oldest in the school, knowing that even though it was his last year at Hogwarts he could finally go out, get a job, and escape his family's reputation.
It had been great, too, and when he finally started going out with Sami, absolutely everything had been perfect. Until his cousin-- his disgusting, ugly, wicked Death Eater cousin-- had interfered and ruined it all.
Sirius had never been able to let Sami Jackson go.
And yet, he had forced himself not to think about her for almost 4 years now. Her memory hadn't haunted him since he had escaped from Azkaban. Now the pain and guilt had come back. All because of a stupid dream.
He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow, blinking back unshed tears that he would never let fall. He was trembling slightly out of grief. How could he have loved someone so deeply that he had known only for a few short weeks? But he could answer that: from the 1st time he kissed her he had known they were made for each other. He had been looking forward to so much with her and a "noble Black" had snatched it away. He would always blame himself. He should have been able to protect her.
Finally Sirius rolled out of bed and opened the shades to his window. Sunlight streamed in, brightening the dingy room. Sirius gave it a nasty look.
He walked over to his dresser and yanked open a drawer. He fumbled around for a moment before pulling out a fine silver chain with a certain owl-shaped bottle hanging off the end of it.
He bowed to Buckbeak and sat down next to him, stroking him with one hand and holding the pendant in the other. He hadn't looked at the necklace at all since he had come back to live at Grimmauld Place.
He ran his thumb over it, his heart thudding painfully against his rib cage. He wondered where she was now, what she was thinking and if she remembered him. Where did people go after they die? And why didn't Sami come as a ghost? Sirius had often wondered if she had come back. But if she had joined the Order, she must've thought it was worth dieing for. This was an attitude Sirius shared.
He had, of course, joined the Order after he graduated, along with James, Lily, Remus, and Peter-- the traitor who had betrayed them all and was the person responsible for Voldemort's return. Sirius wanted to kill him as badly as he did Bellatrix Lestrange, but Harry had stopped him.
"Oh, Buckbeak," said Sirius miserably, "Everything seems to happen to us, doesn't it? We're both outcasts, both wanted by the Ministry of Magic; at least we both were at some point. And both of us innocent. I don't know what else happened in your past, but . . ."
Buckbeak rolled his yellow eyes in reply.
Just then Tonks strode into the room with an enormous scowl on her face.
"Oh, good, you're finally awake, we were starting to wonder, you know. It's almost noon."
She put her hands on her hips. The grimace on her face looked slightly painful.
"Listen, I was talking to Lupin and he started telling me about how well he could perform Scowling Jinxes and I told him to prove it, turns out he's pretty good at them, and anyway I was wondering if you knew the countercurse because I've already tried changing the shape of my mouth and it didn't work, and Lupin was laughing too hard to tell me what--"
She took one look at his face and said, "What's up? Did he do one on you too?"
In spite of himself, Sirius smiled grimly. "Nah," he said gloomily, "I was just . . .thinking about some things . . ."
"Good for you," she said sarcastically, still wearing an almost comical frown. "Now, do you think you could . . .?"
"Oh, sure," answered Sirius vaguely. He waved his wand and muttered the spell. Then he returned his gaze to the pendant clasped between his fingers. Tonks' face relaxed, but now she looked concerned.
"Really, what's up?" she asked quizzically, sitting down on the other side of Buckbeak.
Sirius didn't look at her. "Ahh, well, nothing important. Just what happened while I was at Hogwarts."
Tonks, unfortunately, wasn't the type to give up easily. She was also looking at the necklace now. "C'mon, you can tell me. I know I'm dead clumsy, but I can keep a secret."
Sirius looked up and searched her face for a moment. He had become very fond of Tonks over the past few months. Not in the romantic way, of course, it was Remus who had, ahem, affectionate feelings for her. Sirius thought of her more as a younger sister. He decided she was a person he could confide in.
"You know, Remus starts showing off all the useless spells he knows when he really likes someone." Tonks let out a sound between a snort and a laugh.
"I'll remember that when I'm alone with him in a room next time. But what happened? Did some ditzy girl break your heart?"
"Something like that, but without the ditz part," said Sirius, and plunged into the story.
An hour later, the two sat again in silence as Tonks absorbed what Sirius had said.
Sirius felt empty inside after telling her. But empty was good. It meant the pain was gone, for now.
"So . . .do you reckon it's some kind of omen, you suddenly dreaming about it?"
"What sort of omen?" asked Sirius grumpily, having always despised Divination.
"I dunno, maybe . . .say . . .like maybe you're dreaming about it because you're finally going to have the chance to get revenge on your cousin for murdering Sami!" Sirius raised one eyebrow at her.
"Oh, I dunno. Just trying to figure out why you
suddenly dreamed about your seventh year in perfect detail. Since when does
anybody ever have a dream about their past in perfect detail? It's
really kind of strange," she said sheepishly.
"Yeah, I guess so," said Sirius
quietly, leaning back into Buckbeak's wing.
A moment later, the floor shook as if caught in a sudden earthquake. Remus's voice boomed magically throughout the house, announcing, "Lunch!"
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Sirius Apparated downstairs because he didn't feel much like walking at the moment. He took a seat between Lupin and Moody and pulled a bowl of mushroom soup towards him.
To avoid having to talk to anybody he began shoveling food into his mouth. Kingsley, Lupin, and Moody were all talking about stuff for the Order, but Tonks was being uncharacteristically quiet. Nobody had ever noticed Sirius when he was silent, so it wasn't much of a problem for him. He tuned out the conversation and turned to the task of chewing his food without knowing what he was eating.
He finished rather quickly and leaned back in his chair. Lupin looked up from his plate of vegetable stew and stared at him.
"What's up, Padfoot?" Sirius sighed. He wasn't in the mood to tell everyone in the Order what was up just because they noticed he was more withdrawn than usual.
"I was just thinking about what-- what happened in 7th year."
There was a pause and Remus looked at him thoughtfully. "Tragedy, that was. But it sure woke us all up, didn't it? There we were, about to graduate and go out and face the world, and we didn't know a thing about what it was really like. We didn't realize that there were people-- well, they don't really deserve to be called people-- who only wanted to destroy and kill and tear apart families."
Sirius snorted. "You bet we didn't know. We thought no one could outsmart us. And look at us now, look what Voldemort did to us: only two Marauders left, and neither of us can show our face in public."
"You've been running from your past, Sirius," Remus said quietly. "You've the bravest person I know, but you've got to be brave enough to turn around and look it in the eye. That's the only way you can move on."
Just then, a horrible screech filled the room. Everyone clamped their hands to their ears; the scream sent shivers up your spine the way it did when someone scratched their nails on a blackboard. It was coming from upstairs.
"Oh my G-- it's Buckbeak!" gasped Tonks.
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That night, Sirius sat upstairs in his room trying to help the hippogriff. After they had all rushed upstairs, they had found him tearing apart the room. Tonks had gotten fed up very quickly and performed a Silencing Charm to make him shut up.
It turned out he had broken his wing. Sirius how no clue how it had happened, as Buckbeak had always been fairly good-tempered and rarely did anything stupid, but he did know that he was stuck up here for the rest of the night if he didn't want his room getting torn apart by Buckbeak in his agony.
He had already had to bribe the hippogriff to take three different potions, none of which, judging by the reactions Buckbeak gave him, tasted very good. Sirius's temper was rising and his arms were covered in scratches.
Buckbeak's wing was in a sling. He was busy eating the leftover chicken bones from that night's dinner, which Sirius had eaten upstairs.
"So, Buckbeak, what could you possibly have been doing that could have made you break your wing?"
The hippogriff gave him a withering look. Sirius shrugged and opened an Exploding Snap pack. Maybe he could teach Buckbeak how to play cards.
There was a bang like a gunshot and the door flew open. Buckbeak shrieked. Sirius's head snapped upwards.
It was Moody, and he had the look on his face he always wore when he thought he had discovered a plot to murder him. His blue eye was rolling in its socket and the gashes on his face stood out almost eerily.
"Sirius, it's happened," he growled. "Voldemort's lured Harry to the Department of Mysteries!"
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Hey, we're back in the good old 5th book. I get to twist the ending a little ;D
~*Padfoot-dreamer*~