I am not owning SSMB, please. And nor am I owning Hello Panda, Kasugai Grape Gummies, or roasted peas, please. And I am also not owning Chrissy, JJ, Aya, or Keyiko, please. They own themselves, please. They are real people, please. My accent sucks, please. No offense, please, to anyone who speaks like this. …………..Although I doubt there is anyone who does…
Chapter One:
The Chapter of Pain
A few hours ago, in a house that's probably right next door…
Five people were sitting in a young girl's house, each doing their various things.
A fourteen-year old with short black hair is playing cards with a shorter girl with long black hair and glasses and a girl with medium-length brown hair. A girl with shoulder-length dark brown hair and glasses is playing GameCube, and the last girl, who is extremely short and has auburn hair and is also playing.
Or at least, that's how the author wanted it to be…
In reality, the girl with short black hair, Aya, is running away from the girl with the medium-length brown hair, whose name is JJ, while waving a box of Hello Panda Strawberry Pocky over her head. The short girl with the long black hair, Keyiko, is cussing out the girl with the auburn hair, who will henceforth be called Megun-chan, while the latter beat the crap out of Keyiko in Melee. And the girl with the dark brown hair, Chrissy, has just found Megun-chan's bag of Kasugai Grape Gummies in the refrigerator and will have devoured every single packet if Megun-chan hadn't just practically body-slammed the poor girl into the kitchen tiles.
…Sigh… oh well.
JJ: GIMME BACK MY POCKIEEEEEEEE!!!!! ::Tackles Aya::
A dust cloud erupts in the middle of Megun-chan's house's foyer. Megun pulls on Chrissy's hair and tugs the gummies from her friend's grasp. Then, she puts them back in the fridge and gets her roasted peas out of the pantry. Chrissy makes a face and goes to play Melee with Keyiko. Megun-chan sat on the couch and crunched on her roasted peas. And Keyiko knows nothing of the hair pulling or the dust cloud because she is too focused on Melee.
Keyiko: Hee-hee… Roy-sama… ::gropes the TV, which is displaying an image of Roy turned around with his cape blowing (convenient…)::
JJ wrestles the pocky away from Aya and sits down next to Megun. Her hand reaches out and steals some of Megun-chan's roasted peas, and they get into a fight, forming another dust cloud. Keyiko and Chrissy get magically pulled into the dust cloud, and so does Aya.
Megun-chan: You took my peas!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!
JJ: You sound like Ryoga!!
Aya: ::struggling to get out:: Help me!! Help me!! I'm an innocent!!
Keyiko: Hey!! Stop it! I didn't press pause! You're gonna make me looooooooooose!!!!
This fight went on for quite some time, until…
Voice: Are they finished yet?
FREEZE!!! The dust cloud settled, all girls frozen in place.
Another Voice: Answer your question?
Yet Another Voice: Oh, goodie! Now we can come visit them!!
The First Voice: Uh… how?
The Third Voice: Uh… well… umm… JJ! Aya, Chrissy, and Megun-chan were gonna steal your secret stash of strawberry-!!
CRASH!!! The dust cloud picks up again.
JJ: NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO PREPARE TO DIE!!!
Megun-chan: Ahh! NO NO YOU LIE!!! I ONLY LIKE THE CHOCOLATE POCK- AIIIEEEE!!!!!!
Unknown to them but known to us, the TV screen begins to glow until the girls, over the yelling and occasional profanities, hear a faint "POP!!" and then something- actually, a lot of somethings- fall on top of them.
JJ: Itai…
Megun-chan: No, this isn't "itai". Getting your leg bruised while pretending your dog's doggie gate is a hurdle…
Keyiko: That's not "itai" that's "baka"!!
The Fourth Voice: Ummm… have they noticed we're on top of them?
Yet Another Voice: No, Megun-chan changed the subject.
Aya: Please get off of us. This really is starting to hurt…
Still Another Voice: ACK!! Gomen…
The Fifth Voice: Bakas.
Chrissy: No, we're not kidding. Someone's spiked shell is two centimeters from impaling my head.
All Voices: Oops!!!
What happened next is very confusing to describe, so we'll spare you. To make a long story short, the multiple Voices disentangle themselves from the girls. Well, all but one. One is still stuck because-
Chrissy: TAMAHOME!!!!!! :D :D :D
Yep. One of the Voices is Tamahome from Fushigi Yuugi. And he is stuck mainly because Chrissy is practically glomping his leg. Funny, he doesn't seem to mind…
Megun-chan: Now who are y- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!! ::passes out::
Megun-chan has a very good reason to pass out, because standing all around the room are the Super Smashers from Melee (Plus Tamahome, but that's beside the point).
Mewtwo: Now where the hell are we?
Chrissy: :Still attached to Tamahome's leg:: You're psychic. You tell us.
Megun-chan: Texas.
Other 4: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM BAKA!!!!
BONK!!
Megun-chan: Itai…
Falco: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, I mean… are you okay?
Fox: ::whacks Falco::
Falco: Itai…
Fox: Are you okay?
Megun-chan: ::sniffle, sob:: Uh-huh…
Keyiko: ::looks at Roy, blushes::
Aya: Awww… sappy Anime love scene
JJ: Complete with floaty bubbles and the rainbow background… ;)
Upon sight of Marth, JJ gives a little "eep" of surprise and turns red. Marth, of course, scratches his head and has no earthly clue what the hell's going on. Chrissy stops hugging Tamahome's leg and stands up, blushing. Aya feels a little left out until she sees Ness.
Aya: NESSIE!!!!! ::stomps over and glomps Ness:
Ness: ACK!! Help!! T - T
Nana: ::falls over laughing::
Kirby: ::clutches Young Link for support, also laughing::
Suddenly, Megun-chan freezes as she glares at Kirby.
Megun-chan: Kirby… die…
Keyiko: ::Sappy love scene fades:: OMG!!! She's gonna kill Kirby!!
JJ: ::tries to hold Megun-chan from throwing herself at Kirby:: Stop… Don't kill him! He's too strong for you!!
Kirby: ::sniffle, sob:: why do you hate me?
Aya: Her brother always plays as Kirby and he's an annoying little piece of-
Ness: ::choking because of Aya's death grip:: Air… please… ma'am?!
Aya: ACK!! ::lets go:: Gomen, Nessie.
Ness: Stop calling me Nessie!!!
Aya: I'LL CALL YOU WHATEVER I DEM FEEL LIKE!!!
Ness: Eep! Yes, ma'am.
Aya: And YOU call me Aya!!
Everyone laughs, but they all freeze as they hear the garage door opening.
Megun-chan: Crap!! My mom's home! What are we gonna do!?
JJ: Try to hide them?
Megun-chan: Impossible! Even for my house! The biggest place we have to hide someone is the garage.
Keyiko: Can you… um… go back in the game?
Chrissy: NOOOOOOOO!!!! ::wails:: I want my Tama!!
JJ: Maybe… we can go with them?
Everyone grows panicked as the door opens and Megun-chan's mother entered.
Megun-chan's Mom: …
Everyone Else: …
Megun-chan's Mom: …
Everyone Else: …
Megun-chan's Mom: AAAAH!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE THINGS AND WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING HERE?!
Everyone Else: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Megun-chan: Uh… hi mom!! We were just… uh…
Megun-chan's Mom: ::Eyes Marth, Tamahome, and Roy:: Megun-chan… you're not dating all these boys at the same time, are you?!
Megun-chan: MO-O-O-O-OM!!!! :(
JJ: Yeah. We were… um… just going into a game to hang out with these guys for a little while maybe a week or more.
Megun-chan's Mom: ……………………………….Ok.
All: ::bowing:: THANK YOU, MA'AM!!
Megun-chan: We're going to a cas-tle we're going to a cas-tle!!
Samus: …….How?
Mewtwo: We turn the Gamecube back on, dumb@$$.
Samus: MY FIRST LINE IN THIS CHAPTER AND THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAY TO ME!?!?!?! :(
So they turn on the Gamecube, the Melee screen pops up, and they all go inside the TV.
~~~
At Peach's Castle…
THUD!!
The twenty-six characters and the five girls land on the ground in front of a giant castle.
Capt. Falcon: Itai…
Yoshi: Yoshiii…
Keyiko: Translation?
Mewtwo: "Ouch"
Keyiko: Thought so.
Hours pass while they untangle themselves.
Luigi: OW!! BOWSER YOU-A STEPPED ON-A MY FOOT-A!!
Bowser: ………………….so?
Hours later they stand in a line in front of Peach's Castle
Peach: Welcome to my castle!!
Chrissy: AAAAAAAH!!!! IT'S YOU!!!!!! :( ::tries to kill Peach but Tamahome picks her up and holds her back:: LEMEE GO!!!!!
Tamahome: No!! Save it for later!!
Chrissy: I'll give you twenty bucks!!
Tamahome: OKAY!!!! ::lets go::
Chrissy stampeded over and kicked Peach's @$$.
Zelda: Ouch. That's gotta hurt…
Samus: I am SO glad that's not me!
Peach: Itai…
Chrissy walks back over, leaving Dr. Mario to tend an unconscious Peach. She unfolds her wallet, kisses Tamahome on the cheek, and gives him his money.
Dr. Mario: Well, this-a is a problem-a.
JJ: Why?
Dr. Mario: Peach won't-a wake up-a.
Chrissy: YEAY!!! I KILLED HER!!!
Megun-chan: ::smiles evilly:: I don't think she's dead.
All: Nani?
Megun-chan pulls a magic stereo out of nowhere what also magically had her Guys & Dolls soundtrack in it. She put it on track #6, fast-forwards, and pauses it. She turns it up full blast, and puts on earmuffs. Everyone else takes the hint and plugs their ears. Megun-chan hits play.
CD: ::In annoying banshee voice:: I love you, A bushel an' a peck, A bushel an' a peck an' a hug around the neck…
Peach: ::magically revived:: AAAAAAAH!!!!! NOOOOO!!!! TURN IT OFF!!!!! PLEASE CEASE THE PAIN!!!!!!!! T - T
Megun-chan: ::stops the CD and makes a peace sign:: I win!!
Chrissy: NOOOOOO!!!! ::sniffle, sob::
Tamahome: Sorry, hon, but you can kick her @$$ anytime you want!
Chrissy: SO WHY NOT NOOOOOOW!?!?! T - T
Tamahome: Uh………. Because?
JJ: ::is too busy flirting and hugging Marth to notice anything::
Tamahome: ::looks at Marth:: Hey… I think I know you from somewhere…
Marth: ::Scratches his head:: Yeah… same…
20 hours later…
Tamahome and Marth: Hmmm…
Tamahome: I got it! You sound like Heero!!
Marth: And you sound like Kaiba!!
Tamahome: And Tamahome!!! Oh… wait… yeah.
Everyone Else: ………….. ¬ - ¬;;
Keyiko: Let's go inside!!!
All: Yeay!!
THE END
Megun-chan: Falco, you know Fox, right?
Falco: ……….Duh.
Megun-chan: Well, he…….… ::whisper, whisper::
Falco: ………….::screams bloody murder:: BLOODY MURDER!!!!! ::screams really loud:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!!!!
THE END?
Megun-chan: Yeay! End Credits time!!!
Samus: But what about Tamahome?
Megun-chan: ……what about him?
Samus: ………..How did Tamahome get here? And what was the bit about the sounding like…
Megun-chan: ……………………………………… Does that really matter? They're here, aren't they? Besides, their voice actors are the same. The JAPANESE versions, anyways
Samus: Uhh…. I guess.
Fox: What DID Megun-chan say about me to Falco to get him so scared?
Megun-chan: ::smiles and makes a peace sign:: All that and more next time!!!