Disclaimer: The only thing I can share with you, are these words, because they're the only thing that belongs to me. The song, 'I know how the River feels' belongs to Clay Aiken, the record company, etc.
I know how the River Feels – Epilogue
Then:
They say for
everyone,
there's that certain one
Out there, somewhere
She:
Love. A simple word that embodies every feeling, every emotion, every thought that I have towards him. People would scoff at me for the vapid smile on my face every time he's on my mind, for the girlish giggles that threaten to break through when he smiles at me, or how I still get weak-kneed just by the brush of his lips against mine.
But I know that these only means one thing – I'm in love.
It only means that for every bad day I'm having, there's someone to make it better, for every sad thing that happens to me, there's someone to make me happy, that for all the terrible things that happens outside, there's someone waiting for me to go home.
I'd
been looking hard,
searching every heart
He:
Sometimes I'd still shudder at the thought that I had nearly given up on us. To think that I had ran back to the Spirit World and slammed myself against another wall of my self-imposed unhappiness. I was going to let go, to release my hold on her, to lose her. That thought in itself was such pain which I never wanted to encounter ever again.
Getting nowhere
There was a time I wouldn't tell her of my life in the bath house without her. She never asked, but I knew that it was something she was dying to know. Chihiro wanted the knowledge not for curiosity's sake, but to know how it affected and changed me. Because in her own selfless way, she wanted to protect me from my memories.
What she did not know, was that it was something I didn't wish to share because I wanted the memory to die a painless and anonymous death, that with every spirit that entered, something was taken out of me. It robbed me of my dignity and my pride as a River God. Every time I had to serve Yubaba, every mission I was given was a reminder of what I had given up, of what I had lost - an integral part of myself.
Ashamed of my own weakness, I never wanted to remember again.
Didn't
know I was making
my way to you
But now, after having Chihiro by my side, my confidante, my strength, my love, I no longer felt shamed or anger at my years there. It was only now that I realize the Bath House was never a station in my life. I took the train there, but it was only a mere step closer to the one I was really looking and waiting for. Chihiro.
I was merely biding my time, growing stronger, becoming a better person for the woman that I was to dedicate my life to.
I was waiting for her.
Now
I know how the river feels
When it reaches the sea
She:
Sometimes, I wish that I could read Haku's mind. I love him, and I'd give up my identity for him, but there were times when I could never truly understand him. Like now for instance, he's sitting next to me, his fingers woven in mine as though they've been there for eternity, but his mind is a thousand miles away, probably somewhere in the bath house, in the place where he lost something, something he can never retrieve. The thought that he might still be in pain because of me, because of my stubbornness in wanting to be with me...
I just want to be with him.
And finally
finds the place
It was always meant to be
She:
"... Haku?" Her voice trembled in uncertainty. After all this while, she was still hesitant, still worried. And for that, I could never stop blaming myself. Why was it that I, a River God, a being that has lived for five thousand odd years, with wisdom beyond human comprehension, could not even bring peace to the woman I love beyond all reason?
"Hai?"
"What... what are you thinking of?"
The tentative tone she took merely served to pain me more. Didn't she realize that she's all I want and need? Why does she still worry?
My silence might have unnerved her, but I was only trying to piece my thoughts together, to formulate an answer to a question that has long since eluded me.
"Haku," her voice soft and lulling, the peace that I've been waiting for. "Are you unhappy here? Do you wish to be back at the Bath house? I know you miss it there, you prefer the Spirit Wo-"
Holding fast,
home at last
Knowing the journey's through
My body weakened as I hung onto Haku for support. This kiss was unlike any other that we have ever shared. Our previous ones were soft, gentle and slow, a whisper of things to come, and dreams waiting to be dreamt... But this one was unyielding, fierce, filled with a passion I never fathomed existed in the Haku I knew. It reminded me that as much as Haku was the being I was in love with, that as much as he was pliant and docile with me, he was still very much a God. He was a being that transcended my imagination, that was, simply put, beyond me. And yet... yet, he loves me.
Lying here
with you
I know how the river feels
For once, all the doubts that tainted my mind vaporised into thin air. If it weren't for the fact that my mind was in a haze, I'd have wondered what possessed me to harbour all those doubts.
Miles of
loneliness,
now makes perfect sense
He:
As she clutched onto me, I poured all my emotions and reassurance into the kiss. No words I say would ever suffice, so why not allow my actions to speak the primitive language of Love?
Leaning back, I allowed myself to enjoy the glazed look in her eyes, all the while tempted to bite back the smirk that threatened to spill over to my face. At the risk of sounding completely chauvinistic and getting bopped on the head by the strong and beautiful woman in my arms, I whispered fierecely into her ear.
"You're mine."
Completely unfazed by my declaration, her eyes softened at the emotions displayed clearly in my eyes, tugging at the lapels of my collar as she replied.
"Only as much as you are mine."
I grinned at the hint of steel in her tone. That was the Chihiro I knew and fell in love with. How could she ever doubt me?
"I love you, you know?" I couldn't help but confess, looking into those dark orbs always had that effect on me. "I've been spending so many years alone, so many thousand years waiting for someone I didn't know... realised..."
Here
beside you
Tears like water fall,
it was worth it all
She:
"... It was you, it was always you. So don't say that I never want to be with you, or that I'm tired of being in this world with you. It's only being without you that scares me. It scares me beyond belief... don't leave me."
My eyes misted over at his words, those words that never failed to touch my core. He was the one who I was waiting for. He was the one I need.
"Ha-Haku... atashi mo..." I choked out the words, not trusting my voice to make them sound right, but needing, all the same, for him to hear them and know that they are true.
His hands came up to my face, wiping the stray tears that found their way down my cheeks.
"You know I hate it when you cry, especially if it's for me."
Haku's gentle admonishing got lost in a whole fresh onslaught of tears that overflowed. This only caused him to get even more flustered as he kissed my cheeks while wiping my tears and whispering soft endearments that would sound altogether too sweet for someone of his regal bearing. But to me, they were perfect, he was perfect.
Sighing to myself, I embraced him, finding my favourite spot on his shoulder as I revealed to him another truth.
"Girls cry for the one they love."
Just
to find you
And yours are the last arms
I'll run to
We were married that summer. The wedding was something rather simple, but unforgettable. Filled with warmth and love, just the way Haku and I wanted it to be, as we shared it with the people who mattered.
And yes, I even invited my History teacher.
Now:
Now I know how the river feels
When it reaches
the sea
He:
It's hard, remembering the time when she was away from me, the time when I was without the knowledge that out there, in this crazy universe, there was someone, just for me. For as long as I can think back, ever since I was made into existence, I was alone. That was why the bath house was always full.
Because even Gods get lonely.
Her hand squeezed mine as she glanced at me, a questioning look in her eyes. What are you thinking?
Lowering my head to meet hers, I answered her. Only of you.
And finally finds the
place
It was always meant to be
She:
Smiling at the familiar loss in strength at his kiss, I leaned into him, drawing support from his lean frame.
In the horizon, thunder clouds were brewing, but I wasn't afraid. For once, no storm or clouds could strike fear in my heart.
I never knew that one could be such a lonely number until I met Haku.
Kissing him back with all the fervour and passion that lay in my heart, I held onto him tighter, unwilling to let go of him, even for a minute, now that I've found my home in his heart.
Holding
fast, home at last
Knowing the journey's through
He:
As she grabbed me in a vice-like grip, I couldn't help but release a groan. She always had that effect on me. My little goddess. Placing my forehead against hers as we released for air, I felt my heart fill with so much emotions that it could burst. Kamisama's gift to me.
"Haku?" Her voice broke me out of my reverie.
"Hai?" Concern tinged my answer as she wearily leaned against me. "Are you alright? Are you in pain?"
Reaching my hand out to her, I worriedly turn her around as I took my arms, hooked her by her shoulder and knees and carried her.
"I'll get you to the doctor Chihiro, just hang on."
I knew I was losing my cool and getting flustered, but this was Chihiro we were talking about, I couldn't be tormented more by the thought of her in agony.
All I got as a reply was her hand delivering me numerous swats on the head.
"Baka!" Swat. "Haku!" Swat. "I'm" Swat. "FINE!!" Swatswatswat.
"... ara? Then why do you seem tired?"
Muttering curses under her breath, she explained to me her predicament.
"What?" Did I hear her right?
"You're going... mou! I'm pregnant!"
She's.... she's....
Lying here with you
She:
Haku in pain, Haku upset, Haku angry, Haku filled with sorrow, apathetic Haku... I've seen all these sides of him, but never never have I seen Haku act so happy that he's literally jumping up and down, swinging me around.
"I'm going to be a father! I'm going to be an otousan!!!"
I laughed along with Haku as he kissed me over and over again, overwhelmed by the new title about to be bestowed upon him.
I can see it. Haku playing with our child, teaching him or her lessons of life. He would make such a wonderful father. So gentle, so warm, so loving... My eyes teared up once more as I realised that all this while, I was running around, trying to give happiness to Haku through so many means, that all he really needed from me was love.
And now, he was given the ultimate gift of love.
I know how the river feel
He:
Love. I never thought I would ever experience, much less understand, it. But sitting here with the one woman I love, waiting for another bundle of joy, I suddenly recalled the words I uttered so many months before : I only want to be with her... I only want to love her...
Love. A lesson spanning five millenias, fate and destiny my teacher, a test stretching a decade, and the result as well as the ultimate prize? Chihiro's heart.
Love. Five millenias ago, it was merely a word, five millenias later, it has become a simple word that embodies every feeling, every emotion, every thought that I have towards her.
Love. The only thing she can offer, but it's already enough.
~Owari~
AN: Any complaints about the story? I'm considering writing another one, but this one is terribly draining. I was considering starting another story, but I told myself that I owed it to all my reviewers and readers to finish this one first.
Do forgive me for my tardiness, school and this major life-changing exam called the 'A' Levels got in the darned way. I do realize that the style might be different, after all, the hiatus did take a long time, so if this sounds rather jarring, please forgive me, I couldn't get into the same mood as before. It's so hard! =sobs=
Oh yes, and the line 'girls cry for the ones they love' is shamelessly borrowed from Fushigi Yuugi. Don't say I'm stealing without acknowledgement!
To my Darling reviewers:
Miss Da Qiao: I was really tempted to use your song! I really was! But I found Clay Aiken's one, and it just spoke to me. And when a song like that speaks to you, you damn well listen to it!! Please forgive me, let me know how I've done k? ^_^
Card-Master: Now who's judging who? Write! All I found I really needed to write, is passion. Really, sounds cliché and moronic, but it's true! However, side effects include withdrawal symptoms after completing a mini-epic, and delirium. Proceed with caution.
Oh-are-aye-en-gee-ee: Oh my goodness! The name! Hopefully this chapter is to your liking as well. I'm not good in fluff, considering I have an obsession with angst. Terrible withdrawal symptoms you understand, but let me know what you think about this ok? Thanks!
A fan: marriage? Check. A child? Check. Wow. You've really read my mind! I just love it when such romantic and happy stuff happens, especially in my fics, it's like seeing my babies grow up and leave the nest. -gets teary eyed-
Lli: You cried? We should get together sometime and cry over these stuff together. I'im getting weepy too! Hopefully this chapter wouldn't spoil your tear ducts too much cos it ain't s'pose to be sad! Let me know your thoughts on this!
Adam 'Sexy Boy' Laurent: -chortles- you've got a cute nick! ^_^ Well, if you asked Little Dragon I'm sure she'd share the plushie with you! Admit it! You like it! Alright, alright, I'm being idiotic. This is the end of my fic, it's been a pleasure having you review it, thanks so much.
Andiavas: I remember, even after all these months, you're one of the few readers who stuck with me throughout the entire fic, so this really belongs to you as much as it does to me. Thank you for your support throughout the entire journey, it's been tough, and we've hit some rough patches, but to see this baby through is a dream come true. So here's to the end of the fic, and here's to you, maybe we can start on another journey real soon, I'll be waiting.
Laeta: -blushes- to be honest, I didn't realize that liiiittle detail until I re-read my story all over again. Heh, so that detail, upon which the entire story and happy ending hinges upon was really.... a wonderful coincidence. So what's the moral of the story kids? PLAN!
Cherryblossom419: Thank you for your wonderful support and kindness, it's wonderful to be appreciated and encouraged as I was writing. Do let me know how you find the epilogue, I'm so worried it's a let-down.
QueenofHearts3: I was never really that satisfied with my ending, 'not enough fluff' I'd say. So here's the answer to 'what happens next?' and tell me if the amount of 'kawaii-ness' and 'fluff' is enough to whet your appetite!! I'd also like to express my gratitude for your undying support throughout my entire fic, it would have never been the same without you, it's reviewers like you that pushes me to the keyboard and never give up on this fic. Thank you so much for your encouragement.
Silent teardrops: Man, what a sorrowful name. Poetic, but sad. Anyway, I hope that you find this chapter anything but sad, as I took great pains to make it happy!
Kyo-Terayashi: Good? You like it!?? Yippee!!!! -does the victorious dance- You make me so happy! How's this one? How's this one?? -bounces around-
Vic87: 1) thanks for the compliments about the songs. People rarely notice them, as they tend to be overlooked as merely a 'prop'. An insult at times, but it's warming to know that you appreciate my efforts in finding those darned songs. Whether I write around the songs, or find the songs around the words, it's actually a mixture of both really. To find the songs that has the general feel, and then navigate from there.
2) More details and subplots? You're right, I could've done that, it's just that I was having so much trouble with the plot itself! Man, you can't imagine how long it took me, the darned author to realize that loophole about the pond. In fact, I didn't even realize the pond was the key to the entire plot until the 5th chapter or something. Sigh, so major planning for the next fic, and yeah, I intend to make an epic out of it! So please help me with that!
3) Tell me what you think about this chapter! The monkeys are on strike, so it's just me, and I'm not very good at this!
Goddess LD: Is this soon enough? Lol
Shi Maxwell: How's this? I'm hoping to top last chapter's sweetness!
Little Dragon: How's Daddy? Did I return him soon enough? Heh, I mentioned you here! Although it's so small, it's almost the same as not mentioning! How's the plushie? Don't forget to bring it out to play every now and then!
Georgia: Hope this chapter is cause for more celebrations!
Fame'n'fortune: I hope you find the epilogue as good as well, it's pretty nerve-wrecking since I haven't touched this fic for a looong time. Do review!
To all my previous reviewers who didn't review on chapter 7 [Aeris Tsukiyono, Xellina-san, Morrigan/Norroi, James Birdsong, obsessed, chocolate lover, Beserker Nightwitch, Quisty-mun, Rei 26, SpelCastrMax, Yumiko, Dog Girl, Merayna, Sun girl, LOTUSNEKO, Violet Emeralds, Mrs. Les Demondes, kohaku+chihiro4eva, Steahl, Crimson Rogue, Arella 1, Serenity Winner, obsession171, Masti Vain, BJ4, Aki, blubber, Dark fire angel, blackunicorn, Raye-Rei, Shi Maxwell, tursi, KASEY99, Merayna, Dakki, Dark Akumu, Jo-Ryan Salazar, siren, Christina, amanda, :)]: Why didn't you review??? Seriously though, thank you for your humongous amount of support. This is the last stop, please alight, but board Nigihayami Haruko Mass Epic Tales later on alright? ^_^ Domo Arigatou!
To the readers who have never touched that liiiittle button below before: Thank you for reading my fic, the journey has come to an end, but do support me when I embark on a new one!